Segment 1
בך רבינו נגילה...
Oy gevald (-outcry, exclamation of emphasis), gevald, gevald. An outsider can think – probably this R' Yisroel Ber isn't speaking out (-saying everything), he is hiding. However, I know decidedly the truth…
Segment 2
בך רבינו נגילה...
רבינו הקדוש מדבר כל-כך משמחה, עדיין לא מצאנו כזה. בהשיחות, בספר המדות, בליקוטי מוהר"ן - לדבר כל-כך משמחה! משמע - שזה אכן סובב והולך עליו! כל השמחה והתודה וההודאה - שהקב"ה ריחם עלינו ונתן לנו רבי כזה!
ואנחנו צריכים לחפש, צריכים לחפש, יש, רק צריכים לחפש, יש!
'לשמחה מה זו עושה'?! טוב, אני מאמין בהשם, אני מאמין בהתורה, זהו! כל העולם גם-כן מאמינים, מאמינים בהשם! - - לא!! רבינו הקדוש מדבר כל-כך משמחה, משמע שיש הרבה מה לשמוח עם רבינו הקדוש! בך רבינו נגילה!...
אבל צריכים לראות ברצינות, להסתכל בעין אחרת, בעין האמת, שיחפשו כמו שצריכים, שיחפשו, ושלא יתייאשו! וכן הכל, כל איזה דיבור של רבינו הקדוש, בהתורות, בהשיחות, בהמעשיות, הכל. זה לא בשביל אף אחד - רק בשבילנו! בשבילנו בכל דור ודור, לכל יהודי, בכל דור ודור!
כשהוא אומר; 'אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל' - כמה מילים, פעם, פעמיים, שלש, נגמר! [- למה צריך לחזור על זה כל כך הרבה] 'אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל'! אבל את ה'אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל' יצא מפי רבינו עם כזה 'געוואלד' [- אהה!], עם כזה 'געוואלד', עד כלות הנפש - "געווא-א-לד"! הוא האריך הרבה עם המילה "געוואלד", כזה. אחר כך כמעט יצא חיותו ממנו - אז הוא אמר; 'זייט אייך נישט מייאש' [- אל תתייאשו!], 'זייט אייך נישט מייאש', 'קיין יאוש איז גארנישט פארהאנען'! [אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל!].
נו, כבר שמענו לא פעם אחד, ואני יודע כבר מזה! - לא, לא! זה צריך להיות תמיד חדש!
וצריכים לדעת כי כל זה הוא סובב והולך - עליו! 'בלתו' - יש יאוש, 'ועמו' - אין יאוש! הוא צעק 'געוואלד', שידעו - כשיש רבי כזה אז כבר 'אין שום יאוש בעולם כלל'!
כל העולם יודעים 'אין שום יאוש בעולם', לוקחים כמה מילים וזהו, פטור, שמענו וזהו! מה יש כבר עוד?! - לא! זה רמוז בה'געוואלד', בה'אין שום יאוש', שהכוונה בזה על רבינו, אם הוא ישנו - אז 'אין שום יאוש', ואם הוא אינו - אז יש יאוש! העולם נראה לדאבונינו כמו שנראה, אין להם מי שיושיע אותם, אין להם מי שימשכם מהרפש החוּצה! וגם אנו כמו כן - - אם מוסרים עצמינו לרבינו, ושיהיה לנו אמונה ברבינו - אז אנחנו ניצולים תיכף! תיכף! זהו העיקר; עם זה - יכולים להיות יהודים, עם זה - אז 'אשרינו'!!!
וכן כל מילה מרבינו הקדוש, ועל השמחה, רואים את זה בהמכתבים, בהליקוטי תפלות, בהליקוטי מוהר"ן, שהעיקר - שיודעים מרבינו הקדוש! צריכים לראות שידעו ממנו, צריכים לחפש אותו! רבינו הקדוש בעצמו אומר בתורה ח', וגם בשאר התורות, איך שצריכים לחפש את הצדיק, את הצדיק הדור, את הצדיק האמת, איך שצריכים לחפש אותו. נו, רואים את זה עוד-הפעם ועוד-הפעם. וזהו - -
* * *
And I alone (/myself), even though I saw more than others – others hear something, but I was really in this, I saw how the circumstances were conducted for this - - just like with the (-my) drawing close the circumstances were set in motion, (that) suddenly there was a cause (-occurrence) that I found the pages, and there was from this - - it was hard for me to understand, it was bitter for me, what does this mean (-what is written in the Petek he received from Rabbainu), “I had a lot of pleasure from your devotions?!” My avoada ?! And, “My precious student?!” It was very difficult for me, it was very difficult for me.
Segment 3
(*See Likutay Halachos, Laws of Blessings On Fragrance, 4:23, “And similarly in every generation and generation, it is impossible to understand why these merited to draw close to the true tzaddik more than other people, because all this is the aspect of “segula” (-an object, activity, or place that has special charm which is propitious for something in particular or in general) which is completely impossible to understand, but in truth Hashem is righteous in all His ways, and has no iniquity, and certainly Hashem Yisburach dealt with everyone in great concealment etc. see there.)
Segment 4
However, the truth is that it must not be difficult, because (Psalms 117:2), “Hashem it true forever,” and it must not be difficult (Heb.: it is forbidden to question). And if it is not difficult (Heb: if one doesn't question), if one strengthens himself in the faith, one sees that it is absolutely not difficult!
Segment 5
[Story of a talmid chuchum who abnegated his opposition due to R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m.]
Segment 6
It seems to me that I already told this over - - there was a Karliner chassid, he is already not (-among the living), but at that time he was a “youngerman” (-a married man who studies Torah), I was younger than him, his name was Yisroel Goldhaber, his father's name was Kuppel, (so) they called him (-the son) Yisroel Kuppel's. He was an astute lamdan (-skilled scholar), a rav – in Tiberius, and by nature he was strong minded, and he was a hard man – his word was fearful, he was a very tough man. Nu, he was a misnaged (-antagonist), he lived near the synagogue, near the courtyard where R' Mottel (Slunimer o.b.m.) lived – one lived on this side, and one lived on the other side. He would be in the synagogue regularly, and he would be learning. I was also in the synagogue, and I would sleep in the synagogue, I would recite kreyas shema (-recital of Shema before going to sleep), I had a Shaaray Tzion (“Gates of Zion” a prayerbook outfitted with many prayers, especially based on the Arizal), I would recite from the Shaaray Tzion the kreyas shema, and I would wake up early (“fartag” - before daybreak), I would say chatzos (-special prayers for midnight), I would learn Likutay Moharan. Nu, it was a burning fire, I learned with fervor and with a warmth [even though what do I know of the Toaroas (-holy teachings), however, the holy Rebbe lowers himself down to every single one and speak to every single one…].
Segment 7
In any event, he saw these two things, and he was a misnaged (-antagonist), he would come over to me with such a type of anger – I thought he would kill me, he went over to (to) me mamash (-really) with the hands, “Shaaray Tzion was made for you?! Are you at all a Jew?! And for that matter – why do you only learn Likutay Moharan?! Are there no other books?! Are there no Talmuds?! Are there no other books?!...” He was upon me to kill and destroy… Because by nature he was tough, and his words were very tough, and he spoke with such sharpness, and he was a misnaged (-antagonist), so he took revenge on me, and he made of me ashes and dust.
Segment 8
This same youngerman (-young man who studies Torah), HY brought about – that he was by R' Yisroel'n the last night before they took him into the hospital, he was by R' Yisroel'n the last night! So he came over to me – this Yisroel Kuppel's, Yisroel Goldhaber, and he told me, “I am no longer a misnaged (-antagonist)! I was by R' Yisroel'n that night, and I saw his suffering, and how he was happy with the suffering, and how he always held the (-his) beard with the pehyos (-sidelocks), and said, 'What do I have to worry when I will be coming to the next world with the beard and pehyos!' Yeah….
Segment 9
(*See Letters of Rabbi Nussun, from Monday, Torah Portion of Trumah, 5602 how joyous one should be to have a beard and pehyos which are the main Divine Image. And see Siach Sarfay Kodesh 2:219, and also in the Additions to the Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, that Rabbainu said, “Why should the dying man be depressed, when he he lies with the feet to the door (-the way the dead are laid out) with a beard and pehyos!”)
Segment 10
This is supernatural – what he has in his heart he must tell over to me?! In any event, from that night on – he told me – I am no longer a misnaged! R' Yisroel made me a non-misnaged!
Segment 11
And he had derech eretz (-formal respect) before me – the exact opposite of what was previously. He had derech eretz before me, and he had “yiras hakavoad (-reverence)” like one has before a king!….
Segment 12
And this that you hear is just a little – just a picture, what took place, this isn't it. I was really in this, until today there is stuck in me the poison, how he scorned me, “For you – Shaaray Tzion?! Are you already even at all a Jew?!” In any even, he made of me ashes and dust. And this that I learned Likutay Moharan with a fervor, he couldn't bear. He so derided me, and utterly put me down. And it came to be the complete opposite, it was like this for all his years – when he would see me he wanted me to talk to him, that I should tell over to him about R' Yisroel'n. Turned around exactly the opposite! He stood [straight/exactly] like a simple (“coarse”) young (-man), like he knows absolutely nothing, and he stood and looked into my mouth (-followed my every word)!…
Segment 13
[Such] a story – what the holy Rebbe can do, such deeds…
Segment 14
This will be of great benefit to him in the next world – he is already in the next world, this will help him – that he rescinded his opposition, and he humbled himself so much to me – I don't know what – he knew that I am simple (“coarse”) young (-man)…
Segment 15
[Returns to the story of his drawing close to Rabbainu with mesiras nefesh]
Segment 16
Oy oy oy oy. Thank G-d, today I live with the vitality – that I remember that there was in the world a Jew by the name of R' Yisroel. And HY brought about such circumstances, how I was able to hold by him for a few years, amid such degradation, with such blood shed - - who can tell this over?! Who never saw this (-cannot understand// Who did not see this? – it was so rampant). This is how it was every day, different stories with different things.
Segment 17
At that time it was a darkness in my life, bitter and dark, and today I see how good it is, specifically like this! This is the essence! And this is what the holy Rebbe taught us, the harder it is – one must know that for this he came down to this world! The harder it is, the more it overpowers a person – it is specifically this that must be done! This is from the seechoas.
Segment 18
(*Sichos - Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 57, “that the matter (-bad trait or desire) which overwhelms a person, and he is sunken in it, specifically this matter he needs to break for Hashem Yisborach, because this is His (/his) fundamental avoada (devotion).”)
Segment 19
He (R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m.) was very attached to Rabbi Shimon'en, immeasurably, to Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, to the holy Zohar. He was always sitting (-living) by Rabbi Shimon'en, he couldn't detach himself - -
Segment 20
He was once living with the (-his) family in Meron, so he was also by Rabbi Shimon'en. In Meron he was in the old age home, and he was (Heb: alone) by Rabbi Shimon'en. He had a key for the door (-the holy tomb was locked at night), and he was with Rabbi Shimon'en alone.