# חֵלֶק א'-אַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַ"ן
חֵלֶק א'-אַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַ"ן
Source: https://ajew.org/reader/kokhvei-or/1/2
## Segment 1
פְּתִיחָה
Opening — Petichah.
## Segment 2
לְחֵלֶק א' הַנִּקְרָא בְּשֵׁם אַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַ"ן
For Part I, called Anshay Moharan — The Men of Moharan.
## Segment 3
זֶה הַיּוֹם עָשָׂה ה', אֲשֶׁר שַׂמְתִּי אֶל לְבָבִי לְהַעֲלוֹת עַל הַכְּתָב אֵיזוֹ סִפּוּרִים בִּקְצָרָה מִמַּה שֶּׁעָבַר עַל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַצַ"ל שֶׁלֹּא הוּבָא בְּ"הַיְמֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת" אֲשֶׁר כָּתַב בְּעַצְמוֹ, כִּי לֹא כָּתַב שָׁם רַק רָאשֵׁי פְּרָקִים, כַּמּוּבָן לְהַמְעַיֵּן שָׁם. וְעוֹד נָתַתִּי אֶת לִבִּי לְצָרֵף לָזֶה גַּם קְצָת מִשִּׂיחוֹתָיו הַקְּדוֹשִׁים, וְגַם קְצָת סִפּוּרִים מִשְּׁאָר אַנְשֵׁי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל, כִּי בְּשֶׁכְּבָר הַיָּמִים הַבָּאִים נִשְׁכָּח הַכֹּל. וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ עַד כַּמָּה יִתְאָרֵךְ עוֹד זְמַן גָּלֻיּוֹתֵינוּ וְהַלְּבָבוֹת הוֹלְכִים וְנִתְמַעֲטִים בְּכָל עֵת, לָכֵן הַהֶכְרֵחַ לְהַעֲלוֹת גַּם זֹאת עַל הַכְּתָב. וּמְהוֹדַעְנָא לְהַקּוֹרֵא שֶׁכָּל הַסִּפּוּרִים הָאֵלֶּה שָׁמַעְתִּי מֵאָבִי מוֹרִי הַמֻּפְלָא מוֹרֵנוּ הָרַב נַחְמָן זַ"ל, זוּלַת אֵיזֶה מְעַט וּמִקְצָת צֵרַפְתִּי לָזֶה מַה שֶּׁשָּׁמַעְתִּי גַּם מִשְּׁאָר אֲנָשִׁים הַזְּקֵנִים שֶׁבְּאַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל. וְהַסִּפּוּרִים מִמַּה שֶּׁעָבַר עַל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל שָׁמַע אָבִי זַ"ל קְצָת מִמֶּנּוּ בְּעַצְמוֹ זַ"ל
וּקְצָת מִיּוֹדְעָיו וַחֲבֵרָיו מֵהַנֹּעַר שֶׁהָיוּ בְּקִיאִים בָּזֶה:
Opening — Petichah | פְּתִיחָה This is the day that Hashem has made — and I set it to my heart to commit to writing some brief stories from what befell Moharan"as [our master, teacher, and rabbi — Reb Nosson] z"tl [may his memory be for a blessing in the world to come], which were not brought in "The Days of Moharan"as" that he himself wrote — for he wrote there only chapter headings, as will be understood by one who studies it. And further, I set my heart to append to this also some of his holy conversations, and also some stories from the other men of Admoyr z"tl [our master and teacher, may his memory be for a blessing], for in the days yet to come all of it will be forgotten. And who knows how much longer the time of our exiles will yet extend, and hearts go ever diminishing — therefore it is imperative to commit this also to writing. And I make known to the reader that all these stories I heard from my father, my wondrous teacher, our master the Rav Nachman z"l — except for a small number which I also appended from what I heard from other elder men among the disciples of Moharan"as z"l. The stories of what befell Moharan"as z"l — my father z"l heard some of them from him [Reb Nosson] himself, and some from his acquaintances and friends from his youth who were well-versed in these matters.
## Segment 4
הַפְּתִיחָה מֵהַדְפָּסָה רִאשׁוֹנָה
הִנֵּה שַׂמְתִּי אֶל לְבָבִי לְהַעֲלוֹת עַל הַכְּתָב קְצָת סִפּוּרִים מֵאַנְשֵׁי רַבֵּנוּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ וְהַנּוֹרָא הָרַב רַבִּי נַחְמָן זַצַ"ל. וּבְרֵאשִׁיתָם קָדַמְתִּי אֶת הַסִּפּוּר מִמּוֹהַרְנַ"ת זַ"ל, כִּי עָלָיו סָמַךְ אֶת יָדָיו וְהֵאִיר בּוֹ כַּמָּאוֹר הַגָּדוֹל בַּמָּאוֹר הַקָּטָן לְמֶמְשֶׁלֶת וּלְהַכְנָעַת לוֹחֲמָיו וּמְרִיבָיו אֲשֶׁר רַבּוּ בְּחֹשֶׁךְ אֲפֵלָתֵנוּ כִּי "רַבּוֹת מַחֲשָׁבוֹת בְּלֵב אִישׁ, וַעֲצַת ה'
הִיא תָקוּם":
אַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַ"ן
Opening from the First Printing | הַפְּתִיחָה מֵהַדְפָּסָה רִאשׁוֹנָה I set it to my heart to commit to writing some stories from the men of our holy and awesome master, the Rav Reb Nachman z"tl. And at their beginning I preceded them with the story of Moharan"as z"l — for upon him did he lean his hands and illuminate through him, as the great luminary illumines through the lesser luminary, to rule and to subdue his combatants and adversaries who multiplied in the darkness of our night of exile — for "Many are the thoughts in a man's heart, but the counsel of Hashem — it shall stand." [Mishlei 19:21] The Men of Moharan — אַנְשֵׁי מוֹהֲרַ"ן
## Segment 5
א
בִּשְׁנַת ה' אֲלָפִים תק"ם נוֹלַד מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל. וְלֵדָתוֹ וְהִתְגַּדְּלוּתוֹ הָיָה בְּנֶעמְרוֹב, בְּבֵית אָבִיו הָרַב הַגָּאוֹן הַנִּכְבָּד רַבִּי נַפְתָּלִי הִירְץ זַ"ל, וְנִתְגַּדֵּל אֶצְלוֹ בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְעֹשֶׁר וּבְחָכְמָה. כִּי אָבִיו הַנַּ"ל הָיָה עָשִׁיר גָּדוֹל, וְהָיָה לוֹ עִם עוֹד שְׁנֵי שֻׁתָּפִים גְּדוֹלִים שָׁלֹשׁ חֲנֻיּוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת בְּאַדֶעס וּבְבַארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב וּבְעִיר מוֹשָׁבוֹ בְּנֶעמְרוֹב. וְגַם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל הָיָה מִנְּעוּרָיו בָּקִי וּמֵבִין בְּכָל סְחוֹרוֹתָיו וּבִשְׁאָר עֲסָקָיו. וְחוֹתְנוֹ הָיָה רַב וְאַב בֵּית דִּין בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר עַד הַיּוֹם נוֹדָע שְׁמוֹ עַל פְּנֵי תֵּבֵל, הָרַב הַגָּאוֹן הַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי דָּוִד צְבִי זַצַ"ל מִמָּאהְלוֹב, אֲשֶׁר נָהַג רַבָּנוּת בְּמָאהְלוֹב וּבְשַׁארִיגְרַאד וּבִקְרֶעמִינִיץ וּבְכָל הָעֲיָרוֹת אֲשֶׁר סְבִיבוֹתֵיהֶם כֻּלָּם סָרוּ לְמִשְׁמַעְתּוֹ. וּבְבוֹא מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בְּבֵית הַתַּלְמוּד שֶׁל חוֹתְנוֹ הַנַּ"ל נִתְגַּבֵּר וְעָלָה בַּחֲרִיפוּתוֹ וּבְקִיאוּתוֹ בַּתַּלְמוּד וּבְכָל הַפּוֹסְקִים רִאשׁוֹנִים וְאַחֲרוֹנִים כִּשְׁאָר הַגְּדוֹלִים אֲשֶׁר בָּאָרֶץ.
Siman 1. א The Birth and Upbringing of Moharan"as z"l. In the year 5540 [1780 C.E.], Moharan"as z"l was born. His birth and his growing up took place in Nemirov, in the home of his father — the distinguished gaon [genius in Torah], the Rav Reb Naftoli Hirtz z"l — and he was raised by him in Torah, in wealth, and in wisdom. For his father as mentioned was a very great man of wealth; he had, together with two other major partners, three large stores — in Odessa, in Berditchev, and in the city of their residence, Nemirov. And Moharan"as z"l was from his youth expert and versed in all their merchandise and in his other business affairs. His father-in-law was a Rav and Av Bais Din [Head of the Rabbinical Court] in Israel, whose name is known to this day across the face of the earth — the Rav, the gaon, the Tzadik, Reb Dovid Tzvi z"tl of Mohilev, who held the rabbinate in Mohilev and in Sharigrod and in Kremenitz and in all the towns surrounding them, all of whom deferred to his authority. And when Moharan"as z"l came into the study-hall of his father-in-law, he grew strong and rose in his sharpness and his mastery of the Talmud and of all the halachic decisors — both early and later — like the other great scholars of the land.
## Segment 6
ב
וְהִנֵּה מִימֵי יַלְדוּתוֹ וִימֵי נְעוּרָיו שֶׁל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל נִכְסַף לְבָבוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת ה', כִּי לֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ עִקָּר אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן בְּעֵת הִתְקָרְבוּתוֹ אַחַר־כָּךְ לְתַלְמִידֵי הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל שֶׁהָיוּ עֲדַיִן בָּעוֹלָם, הֲלֹא הֵמָּה הָרַב הַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי זוּסְיָא זַ"ל, וְהָרַב הַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי לֵוִי יִצְחָק מִבַּארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב, וְהָרַב הַקָּדוֹשׁ רַבִּי בָּרוּךְ זַ"ל, וְהַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי גְּדַלְיָה מִלִּינִיץ זַ"ל, וְהָרַב הַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי שָׁלוֹם זַ"ל מִפְּרָאבִישְׁטְשׁ, וּשְׁאָר גְּדוֹלִים זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה. וּמֵאָז נִתְעוֹרֵר וְנִכְסַף יוֹתֵר לְקִיּוּם הַתּוֹרָה לְעוּבְדָּא וּלְמַעֲשֶׂה (כִּי בַּדָּבָר הַזֶּה נִתְעַלּוּ יוֹתֵר הַצַּדִּיקִים וְהַקְּדוֹשִׁים הַנַּ"ל שֶׁהָיוּ מִצַּד הַבַּעַל שֵׁם טוֹב וְהַמַּגִּיד זֵכֶר צַדִּיקִים לִבְרָכָה). וּמֵאָז הָיָה הִשְׁתּוֹקְקוּתוֹ וְכִסּוּפָיו לַה' יִתְבָּרַךְ גָּדוֹל וְנִפְלָא מְאֹד, אֲבָל מֵעֹצֶם הִתְגָּרוּת הַכֹּחַ הַמּוֹנֵעַ וְהַמַּדִּיחַ שֶׁבְּכָל מַדְרֵגָה וּמַדְרֵגָה (וְכָל הַגָּדוֹל מֵחֲבֵרוֹ יִצְרוֹ גָּדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ, וּמַנִּיחַ כָּל הָעוֹלָם וְאֵינוֹ מִתְגָּרֶה וְכוּ' אֶלָּא בְּתַלְמִידֵי חֲכָמִים) עַל כֵּן עָלָה וְיָרַד בַּעֲלִיּוֹת וִירִידוֹת רַבּוֹת וַעֲצוּמוֹת מְאֹד בְּכָל עֵת וָעֵת, וְהָיָה קָשֶׁה עָלָיו מְאֹד כָּל דָּבָר שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה שֶׁרָצָה לַעֲשׂוֹת, הֵן בַּתּוֹרָה וְהֵן בִּתְפִלָּה וְכַיּוֹצֵא. גַּם הָיָה בַּעַל מַחֲשָׁבָה גָּדוֹל מְאֹד שֶׁזֶּה אֶחָד מֵהָעֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה דְּבָרִים שֶׁמְּעַכְּבִין אֶת הַתְּשׁוּבָה. וְלֹא יָדַע לְכָל הַנַּ"ל שׁוּם עֵצָה וְתַחְבּוּלָה מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת כִּי כְּבָר בָּחַן וְנָסַע לְכַמָּה צַדִּיקִים אֲמִתִּיִּים שֶׁהָיוּ בְּאוֹתוֹ הָעֵת כַּנַּ"ל, אֲבָל לֹא הוֹעִילוּ לוֹ כְּלָל לָזֶה וְלֹא הָיָה לוֹ מֵהֶם שׁוּם תּוֹעֶלֶת מִזֶּה. וְאִם בְּכָל זֹאת הָיָה מְרֻצֶּה לִנְסֹעַ אֲלֵיהֶם, אֲבָל מֵחֲמַת שֶׁאָבִיו הָיָה מִצַּד הַמִּתְנַגְּדִים עַל כָּל הַחַבְרַיָּא הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁל הַבַּעַל שֵׁם טוֹב זַצַ"ל, וְגַם חוֹתְנוֹ הָיָה מִתְנַגֵּד גָּדוֹל (עַיֵּן בְּלִקּוּטֵי הֲלָכוֹת הִלְכוֹת רִבִּית הֲלָכָה ה' בְּאוֹת כ') כִּי אָז לֹא נִשְׁקַט עֲדַיִן בָּעוֹלָם הַמַּחֲלֹקֶת וְהָרְדִיפוֹת שֶׁרָדְפוּ מְאֹד אֶת כָּל הָאֲנָשִׁים שֶׁרָצוּ לְהִתְקָרֵב לְתַלְמִידֵי הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל כַּיָּדוּעַ וּמְפֻרְסָם כָּל זֶה, וּמֵחֲמַת כָּל זֶה הָיָה גַם לְמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל מְנִיעוֹת עֲצוּמוֹת מִלִּנְסוֹעַ אֲלֵיהֶם, רַק אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן אִם הָיָה מַרְגִּישׁ שֶׁהֵם מוֹעִילִים לוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת ה'
לֹא הָיָה מִסְתַּכֵּל עַל שׁוּם מְנִיעָה:
Siman 2. ב His Longing for Divine Service; the Obstacles. From the days of his childhood and youth, the heart of Moharan"as z"l yearned for the service of G-d — for "the essential thing is not study but rather deed" — and all the more so at the time of his later drawing-close to the disciples of the Maggid z"l who were still alive in the world: namely, the Rav, the Tzadik, Reb Zisya z"l; and the Rav, the Tzadik, Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev; and the holy Rav Reb Boruch z"l; and the Tzadik Reb Gedalya of Linitz z"l; and the Rav, the Tzadik, Reb Sholem z"l of Probishtsh; and other great ones, may their memory be for a blessing. And from that time onward he was stirred and yearned even more for the fulfillment of Torah in deed and in practice — for in this matter the aforementioned holy Tzadikim excelled, being from the side of the Baal Shem Tov and the Maggid, may the memory of the righteous be for a blessing. And from that time his longing and yearning for Hashem, may He be blessed, was very great and wondrous — but due to the intensity of the arousal of the obstructing and deflecting force at every single level [for "whoever is greater than his fellow, his evil inclination is greater than his," and it leaves the whole world alone and only provokes Torah scholars] , he therefore rose and fell through very many and very powerful ascents and descents at every moment. And every matter of holiness that he wished to do was very hard for him — whether in Torah or in prayer or the like. He was also greatly afflicted by foreign thoughts — which is one of the twenty-four things that impede teshuvah [repentance]. And for all of the above he knew no counsel or device as to what to do, for he had already tested [various approaches] and traveled to several true Tzadikim who existed in that time, as mentioned — but they were of no benefit to him at all in this regard, and he received no benefit from them in this matter. Even so, had he wished to travel to them [more freely], his father was of the camp of those who opposed [ misnagdim ] the entire holy fellowship of the Baal Shem Tov z"tl, and his father-in-law was also a great misnagid [see Likutay Halachos , Laws of Interest, Halacho 5, section 20] — for in those days the controversy and persecutions against all who wished to draw close to the disciples of the Maggid z"l had not yet quieted in the world, as is well known and widely recognized. And due to all this, Moharan"as z"l also faced immense obstacles from traveling to them. Yet even so, if he felt that they were benefiting him in the service of Hashem, he would not consider any obstacle whatsoever.
## Segment 7
ג
אַחַר־כָּךְ בַּקַּיִץ שֶׁקֹּדֶם הִתְקָרְבוּת מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זְצוּקַ"ל, הָיָה בְּדַעַת מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל לִקְבֹּעַ דִּירָתוֹ בְּבַרְדִּיטְשׁוֹב אוֹ בְּאַדֶעס אוֹדוֹת מִסְחַר הַחֲנֻיּוֹת שֶׁל אָבִיו כַּנַּ"ל, רַק שֶׁנִּתְעַכֵּב מֵחֲמַת שֶׁהִגִּיעָה לוֹ יְדִיעָה מֵחוֹתְנוֹ רַבִּי דָּוִד צְבִי זַ"ל שֶׁהוּא צָרִיךְ לַעֲבֹר דֶּרֶךְ נֶעמִירוֹב בִּנְסִיעָתוֹ. וְה' יִתְבָּרַךְ סִבֵּב שֶׁנִּדְחָה נְסִיעַת חוֹתְנוֹ מִיּוֹם אֶל יוֹם עַד אַחַר רֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ חֶשְׁוָן, וּמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל חִכָּהּ וְהִמְתִּין עָלָיו בְּנֶעמִירוֹב. וּבְתוֹךְ כָּךְ סִבֵּב ה' יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּנִפְלְאוֹתָיו הָעֲצוּמִים שֶׁיָּצָא אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל לִבְרֶסְלֶב שֶׁהִיא קְרוֹבָה לְנֶעמְרוֹב עִיר מוֹשָׁבוֹ שֶׁל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בְּעֵרֶךְ שְׁמוֹנָה עָשָׂר מִיל (שֶׁקּוֹרִין וִויעֶרְסְט) (וְכָל זֶה הָיְתָה סִבָּה מֵאֵת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּתְקָרֵב מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זְצַ"ל כְּדֵי שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי זֶה לֹא תִּשָּׁכַח אֲפִלּוּ דִּבּוּר אֶחָד מִדִּבְרֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זְצַ"ל). וּמִיָּד כְּשֶׁשָּׁמַע זֹאת מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל שֶׁאַדְמוֹ"ר קָבַע יְשִׁיבָתוֹ בִּבְרֶסְלֶב, נִבְעַר לְבָבוֹ כָּל־כָּךְ עַד שֶׁשָּׁכַח וְלֹא הֶעֱלָה עוֹד עַל לְבָבוֹ מִמַּחְשְׁבוֹתָיו וּמִסְחָרָיו הַנַּ"ל, וְתֵכֶף רָצָה לִנְסֹעַ אֵלָיו בַּמְּהִירוּת הָאֶפְשָׁרִי כִּי אָבִיו הָיָה אָז בְּבַרְדִּיטְשׁוֹב. עַל כֵּן נִתְיַשֵּׁב בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁלְּעֵת עַתָּה יִסַּע מִיָּד לְפִי שָׁעָה כִּי כָּעֵת מִמֵּילָא אֵין לוֹ מְנִיעָה גְּדוֹלָה מֵחֲמַת שֶׁאָבִיו אֵינוֹ בְּבֵיתוֹ, וְאַחַר־כָּךְ אִם יִרְאֶה וְיֶחֱזֶה שֶׁמְּקַבֵּל מֵאִתּוֹ חָכְמָה וָדַעַת לְהִתְחַזֵּק בְּקִיּוּם הַתּוֹרָה (שֶׁזֶּה עִקַּר וְכוּ' כַּנַּ"ל), וְיִרְאֶה וְיָבִין בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ תּוֹעֶלֶת מֵאִתּוֹ בַּעֲבוֹדַת ה' לֹא יַבִּיט עוֹד אַחַר־כָּךְ עַל שׁוּם מְנִיעָה (אֲפִלּוּ עַל הַמְּנִיעוֹת אֲשֶׁר מֵאָבִיו, כִּי גַּם עַל זֶה נֶאֱמַר 'אַתָּה וְאָבִיךָ חַיָּבִים בִּכְבוֹדִי'. כִּי אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְקַיֵּם כָּל הַמִּצְוֹת הַתְּלוּיוֹת בַּלֵּב שֶׁהֵם הָעִקָּר, רַק עַל־יְדֵי הִתְקַשְּׁרוּת לְצַדִּיקִים וּלְדִבְרֵיהֶם הַקְּדוֹשִׁים הַמַּחֲזִיקִים אֶת הַלֵּב בִּתְפִלָּה וּבִשְׁאָר עֲצוֹתֵיהֶם הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד לְפִי מְקוֹמוֹ וּשְׁעָתוֹ. וְעַיֵּן בְּיוֹרֶה דֵּעָה חֵלֶק ב' סִימָן ר"מ סָעִיף כ"ה וּבְפִתְחֵי תְּשׁוּבָה שָׁם סֶעִיף קָטָן כ"ב לְעִנְיַן תְּפִלָּה בְּכַוָּנָה. וּבֶאֱמֶת אַחַר כַּמָּה שָׁנִים הִתְחָרֵט אָבִיו מְאֹד עַל כָּל אֲשֶׁר הֵצֵר לוֹ וְהוֹדָה לוֹ עַל כָּל מַעֲשָׂיו בְּכָל לִבּוֹ וְנַפְשׁוֹ. וְזֶה הָיָה עוֹד בְּזֶה הָעוֹלָם, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן בָּעוֹלָם הַבָּא, בְּוַדַּאי הוּא מַחֲזִיק לוֹ טוֹבָה בְּלִי שִׁעוּר כִּי 'בְּרָא מְזַכֶּה אַבָּא' כַּמּוּבָא בְּסִפְרֵי אֱמֶת [וְעַיֵּן בְּחַיֵּי מוֹהֲרַ"ן בְּסִפּוּר מַעֲלַת הַמִּתְקָרְבִים אֵלָיו בְּאוֹת ט].). וְכֵן הָיָה שֶׁנָּסַע בְּשָׁבוּעַ זֹאת הוּא וְרַבִּי נַפְתָּלִי זַ"ל וְעוֹד שְׁנֵי אֲנָשִׁים (רַבִּי לִיפֶּע וְרַבִּי זַלְמָן הַקָּטָן) לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זְצוּקַ"ל. וּמִיָּד בִּכְנִיסָתָם לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל דִּבֵּר עִמָּהֶם הַרְבֵּה, וּבְתוֹךְ שִׂיחָתוֹ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה סִפֵּר לָהֶם שְׁלֹשָׁה
מַעֲשִׂיּוֹת:
מַעֲשֶׂה רִאשׁוֹן מֵהָרַב מִנַּאסְכִיז זַ"ל שֶׁבָּזֶה רִמֵּז לָהֶם שֶׁיִּתְּנוּ מְאֹד אֶת לְבָבָם לְכָל דִּבּוּר וְדִבּוּר שֶׁיּוֹצֵא מִפִּיו הַקָּדוֹשׁ אֲפִלּוּ בְּעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם, וּלְבַל יְדַמּוּ בְּנַפְשָׁם שֶׁעַל־פִּי פָּשׁוּט הוּא מְדַבֵּר
אֶת דְּבָרָיו חָלִילָה:
מַעֲשֶׂה שֵׁנִי: מֵהָרַב רַבִּי שְׁנֵיאוֹר זַלְמָן זַ"ל שֶׁבָּזֶה רִמֵּז עַל
מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל שֶׁיַּרְבֶּה מְאֹד לְחַדֵּשׁ בְּתוֹרָתוֹ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה.
מַעֲשֶׂה שְׁלִישִׁי מֵהִתְקָרְבוּת הָרַב הַקָּדוֹשׁ רַבִּי מִיכְל לְהַבַּעַל שֵׁם טוֹב זַ"ל שֶׁבָּזֶה כִּוֵּן לְמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל מַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ שֶׁחָשַׁב אָז וְנִתְבַּהֵל וְנִשְׁתּוֹמֵם מְאֹד בִּרְאוֹתוֹ בְּעֵינָיו כִּי לֹא נֶעְלָם מֵאִתּוֹ גַּם כָּל מַחְשְׁבוֹתָיו וְרַעְיוֹנוֹתָיו הָעוֹלִים עַל לְבָבוֹ. וּמֵאָז נִמְשְׁכוּ אֵלָיו בְּהִתְקָרְבוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד. וּמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל הֵבִין מִיָּד שֶׁבְּוַדַּאי יִהְיֶה לוֹ תּוֹעֶלֶת מֵאִתּוֹ בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כִּרְצוֹנוֹ הַטּוֹב כַּנַּ"ל, וְאַחַר־כָּךְ חָזְרוּ לְבֵיתָם וְאַחַר יוֹם אוֹ יוֹמַיִם בָּא אָבִיו שֶׁל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל מִבַּארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב, וּמִסְּתָמָא חָרָה אַפּוֹ עַל זֶה אֲבָל כְּבָר נֶחְלַט בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל
לְבַל יִשְׁמַע אֵלָיו כְּלָל בַּדָּבָר הַזֶּה כַּנַּ"ל:
Siman 3. ג Providence Brings Him to Admoyr z"tl — The First Visit to Breslov. Afterwards, in the summer preceding the drawing-close of Moharan"as z"l to Admoyr z"tl [z"tl = may his holy memory be for a blessing], it was in the mind of Moharan"as z"l to establish his residence in Berditchev or in Odessa for the purpose of the trade of his father's stores as mentioned. But he was delayed because he received word from his father-in-law, Reb Dovid Tzvi z"l, that he [the father-in-law] needed to pass through Nemirov on his journey. And Hashem, may He be blessed, arranged it so that his father-in-law's journey was postponed from day to day until after Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan — and Moharan"as z"l waited for him and remained in Nemirov. Meanwhile Hashem, may He be blessed, arranged through His immense wonders that Admoyr z"tl went out to Breslov — which is close to Nemirov, the city of residence of Moharan"as z"l, a distance of approximately eighteen miles [verst]. [And all of this was a contrivance from Hashem, may He be blessed, so that Moharan"as z"l would draw close to Admoyr z"tl — so that through this, not even a single word of Admoyr's z"tl words would be forgotten.] And as soon as Moharan"as z"l heard that Admoyr had established his residence in Breslov, his heart burned so intensely that he forgot and no longer gave any thought to his earlier plans and business ventures — and he immediately wanted to travel to him with all possible speed, since his father was then in Berditchev. He therefore settled in his mind to travel immediately for the present moment — for at this time he had no great obstacle, since his father was not at home. And afterwards, if he would see and behold that he was receiving from him wisdom and knowledge to strengthen himself in the fulfillment of Torah [for that is the essential thing, as mentioned above] , and he would see and understand in his mind that he would benefit from him in the service of Hashem — he would no longer look afterwards at any obstacle. [Even the obstacles from his father — for even regarding this it was said: "You and your father are indebted to My honor." For it is impossible to fulfill all the commandments that depend on the heart, which are the essential ones, except through bonding to Tzadikim and to their holy words, which sustain the heart in prayer and in their other holy counsels, each one according to his place and his hour. See Yoreh Deyah , Part II, section 240, paragraph 25, and in Pischay Teshuvo there, subsection 22, regarding prayer with intention. And in truth, after some years his father repented greatly of all that he had caused him distress, and acknowledged his every action with his whole heart and soul — and this was still in this world, and all the more so in the World to Come, where certainly he holds him in immeasurable gratitude, for "a son brings merit to the father," as brought in the books of truth. See Chayay Moharan , in the story of the merit of those who drew close to him, section 9.] And so it was, that he traveled that same week — he and Reb Naftoli z"l and two other men [Reb Lippe and Reb Zalman the Small] — to Admoyr z"tl. And immediately upon their entry before Admoyr z"l, he spoke with them at length. And within his holy conversation he told them three stories: The first story — from the Rav of Naskhiz z"l, through which he hinted to them that they should pay very close attention to every single word that emerged from his holy lips, even in mundane matters — and they should by no means imagine that he was speaking his words in a simply literal sense, G-d forbid. The second story — from the Rav Reb Shneur Zalman z"l, through which he hinted to Moharan"as z"l that he should multiply greatly the production of new Torah teachings. The third story — from the drawing-close of the holy Rav Reb Michl to the Baal Shem Tov z"l, through which he directed his attention to the thought that Moharan"as z"l was then thinking — and [ Moharan"as ] was seized with fright and amazement to see with his own eyes that not even all his thoughts and reflections were concealed from him [ Admoyr ]. And from then on they were drawn to him with very great closeness. And Moharan"as z"l understood immediately that certainly he would benefit from him in the service of Hashem, may He be blessed, as his good heart desired, as mentioned above. Afterwards they returned home — and after a day or two, the father of Moharan"as z"l arrived from Berditchev. Presumably his anger was kindled over this — but already Moharan"as z"l was fully resolved in his mind not to heed him at all in this matter, as mentioned.
## Segment 8
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וְכָל זֶה הָיָה בְּהַשָּׁבוּעַ שֶׁלִּפְנֵי סְלִיחוֹת (כִּי אַדְמוֹ"ר זְצַ"ל יָצָא לִבְרֶסְלֶב בִּימֵי אֱלוּל הַקְּדוֹשִׁים כַּמּוּבָא בְּחַיֵּי מוֹהֲרַ"ן עַיֵּן שָׁם) וּבְיוֹם רִאשׁוֹן שֶׁל סְלִיחוֹת הִתְחִיל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל לְהָכִין עַצְמוֹ לִנְסֹעַ עַל רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה. כִּי כְּבָר נִתְוַדַּע לוֹ בִּהְיוֹתוֹ בִּבְרֶסְלֶב מֵהָאַזְהָרָה שֶׁהִזְהִיר מְאֹד אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עַל זֶה. וְהָלַךְ וְשָׂכַר לוֹ עֲגָלָה, וְצִוָּה לְבַעַל הָעֲגָלָה שֶׁיִּסַּע חוּץ לָעִיר וְשָׁם יַמְתִּין עָלָיו. וְהוּא הָלַךְ לְבֵיתוֹ לִקַּח מַלְבּוּשָׁיו הַשַּׁיָּכִים לְיוֹם טוֹב, וְנִתְעוֹרֵר רַעַשׁ גָּדוֹל בְּבֵיתוֹ וְזוּגָתוֹ הִתְחִילָה לִבְכּוֹת וּלְהִתְאוֹנֵן מְאֹד, וְאָבִיו מִגֹּדֶל זַעֲמוֹ וַחֲרוֹן אַפּוֹ לֹא יָדַע כְּלָל מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת. וְהוּא הָלַךְ בִּזְרִיזוּת וְנָסַע לְאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עִם עוֹד אֵיזֶה אֲנָשִׁים, וְהָיָה אֶצְלוֹ בִּימֵי רֹאשׁ הַשָּׁנָה הַקְּדוֹשִׁים וְגַם אַחַר־כָּךְ בְּכָל הָעֲשֶׂרֶת יְמֵי תְּשׁוּבָה. וּבְאֵלּוּ הָעֲשֶׂרֶת יְמֵי תְּשׁוּבָה נִכְנַס פַּעַם אַחַת לְבַדּוֹ אֶצְלוֹ זַ"ל וְסִפֵּר לְפָנָיו אֶת כָּל לִבּוֹ. וְצִוָּה אָז עָלָיו אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל כַּמָּה הַנְהָגוֹת (עַיֵּן בְּשִׂיחוֹת הָרַ"נ בְּאוֹת קפ"ד). וְאַחַר־כָּךְ יָצָא עִמּוֹ מֵהַבַּיִת וְהָלַךְ עִמּוֹ בַּחוּץ אָנָה וָאָנָה אֵצֶל הַבֵּית הַכְּנֶסֶת הַגָּדוֹל דְּשָׁם וְדִבֵּר עִמּוֹ הַרְבֵּה דְּבָרִים הַמְּשִׁיבִין אֶת הַנֶּפֶשׁ, וְהֶחֱיָה אוֹתוֹ מְאֹד. וּבְאֶמְצַע הַשִּׂיחָה לְקָחוֹ אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בְּיָדָיו הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת סְבִיב כְּתֵפָיו וְעָנָה וְאָמַר לוֹ בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: אִין וַויְיטֶער סֶע זֵייֶער גִּיט, אַז מֶע רֶעט זִיךְ אוֹיְס דָּאס הַארְץ פַאר ה' יִתְבָּרַךְ, הַיְנוּ אַזוֹי וִויא מֶע רֶעט זִיךְ אוֹיְס פַאר אַיין אֱמֶתְ'ן גִּיטְן פְרַיְנְט (וּמֵעַתָּה, טוֹב מְאֹד אִם אוֹמְרִים אֶת כֹּל שֶׁבַּלֵּב לִפְנֵי ה' יִתְבָּרַךְ הַיְנוּ כְמוֹ לִפְנֵי חָבֵר טוֹב אֲמִתִּי). וּמִיָּד נִכְנְסוּ אֵלּוּ הַדִּבּוּרִים בִּלְבָבוֹ כְּאֵשׁ בּוֹעֶרֶת מַמָּשׁ, וְהֵבִין תֵּכֶף שֶׁעַל־יְדֵי עֵצָה זֹאת בְּוַדַּאי יִהְיֶה נַעֲשֶׂה אִישׁ כָּשֵׁר כָּרָאוּי. כִּי כָּל מִינֵי מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁיְּסַבֵּב הַבַּעַל דָּבָר בְּדַעְתּוֹ וְכָל מִינֵי מְנִיעוֹת שֶׁיִּמְנָעֵהוּ כֻּלָּם יְסַפֵּר לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ וִיבַקֵּשׁ מֵאִתּוֹ רַחֲמִים וְתַחֲנוּנִים עַל כָּל דָּבָר שֶׁיַּעַזְרוֹ לִהְיוֹת כָּרָאוּי לְאִישׁ הַיִּשְׂרְאֵלִי וְעַל־יְדֵי אֵלּוּ הַדִּבּוּרִים קֵרְבוֹ
לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּהִתְקָרְבוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד:
Siman 4. ד The First Rosh HaShonoh with Admoyr; Hisbodidus — Talking to G-d. All of this was in the week before Selichos [for Admoyr z"tl went out to Breslov in the holy days of Elul, as brought in Chayay Moharan — see there] . And on the first day of Selichos , Moharan"as z"l began to prepare himself to travel for Rosh HaShonoh [the New Year]. For he had already come to know of the grave warning that Admoyr z"l had issued concerning this when he was in Breslov. He went and hired a wagon and instructed the wagon driver to travel outside the city and wait for him there. And he himself went home to take his holiday clothing — and a great commotion arose in his house, and his wife began to weep and lament greatly. And his father, from the greatness of his fury and wrath, did not know at all what to do. And he went with alacrity and traveled to Admoyr z"l with some other men — and he was with him during the holy days of Rosh HaShonoh and also afterwards throughout the Ten Days of Repentance. And during those Ten Days of Repentance he entered privately before him [ Admoyr ] once and poured out his whole heart before him. And Admoyr z"l then commanded him several practices [see Sichos HaRan [Conversations of Reb Nachman], section 184] . Afterwards he went out with him from the house and walked with him outside, back and forth near the great synagogue there, and spoke with him many soul-reviving words, and greatly enlivened him. And in the middle of the conversation, Admoyr z"l took him with his holy hands around his shoulders, and answered and said to him in this language: " In vayter — s'iz zeyer git, az me ret zich oys dos hartz far Hashem Yisborach, haynu azoy viy me ret zich oys far ayn emes'n gitn fraynt " (And furthermore — it is very good to pour out one's heart before Hashem, may He be blessed — that is to say, just as one pours out [his heart] before a true, good friend.) And these words entered his heart immediately like a truly blazing fire — and he understood at once that through this counsel he would certainly become a proper person as he should be. For every manner of thought that the Baal Davar [the Accuser] would bring to confuse his mind, and every manner of obstacle that would prevent him — all of it he would pour out before Hashem, may He be blessed, and beseech Him for mercy and supplication on every matter, that He help him to be as is proper for a Jew. And through these words, he [ Admoyr ] drew him very close to Hashem, may He be blessed, with a very great closeness.
## Segment 9
ה
וּמִיָּד בַּהֲלִיכָתוֹ מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל נִכְנַס לְהַבֵּית הַכְּנֶסֶת הַגָּדוֹל הַנַּ"ל שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה אָז שָׁם שׁוּם אָדָם וְהִתְחִיל לְקַיֵּם זֹאת. וְאַחַר יוֹם כִּפּוּר נָסַע לְבֵיתוֹ, וְהִתְחִיל לִכְסֹף מְאֹד שֶׁיְּקַיֵּם זֹאת כָּרָאוּי כְּפִי אֲשֶׁר נִכְסַף לְבָבוֹ לְפָרֵשׁ הֵיטֵב כָּל שִׂיחָתוֹ לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בִּפְרָטֵי פְּרָטִיּוּת מִכָּל מַה שֶּׁעוֹבֵר עָלָיו. וְלִקְרֹא וְלִצְעֹק לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ מֵעֹמֶק הַלֵּב עַל כָּל דָּבָר וְדָבָר בִּפְרָטִיּוּת וּלְקַיֵּם "מִמַּעֲמַקִּים קְרָאתִיךָ ה'" (עַיֵּן בְּלִקּוּטֵי תִּנְיָנָא סִימָן כ"ה). וְהָיָה לוֹ יִסּוּרִים גְּדוֹלִים בְּעִנְיָן זֶה, כִּי בִּפְנֵי אֲנָשִׁים אִי אֶפְשָׁר לַעֲשׂוֹת כֵּן, וְחֶדֶר מְסֻגָּר בְּבֵית אָבִיו גַּם־כֵּן לֹא הָיָה לוֹ. וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם מָצָא לִפְעָמִים אֵיזֶה מָקוֹם מְיֻחָד, הָיָה לוֹ יִסּוּרִים וּבִלְבּוּלִים כִּי בְּאֶמְצַע נִסְתַּבֵּב עַל פִּי רֹב שֶׁפִּתְאֹם נִכְנַס אֵיזֶה אִישׁ, וְהָיָה לוֹ בִּלְבּוּלִים גְּדוֹלִים מִזֶּה וְלֹא יָדַע מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת, וְנִתְיַעֵץ בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁהַמָּקוֹם הַמֻּבְחָר לְפָנָיו לְקַיֵּם זֹאת כָּרָאוּי הוּא רַק מִחוּץ לָעִיר, כִּי שָׁם יִהְיֶה בִּיכָלְתּוֹ לִמְצֹא מָקוֹם פָּנוּי וּמֻצְנָע שֶׁאֵין הוֹלְכִים שָׁם בְּנֵי אָדָם, וְשָׁם יִהְיֶה בִּיכָלְתּוֹ לְפָרֵשׁ לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ אֶת כָּל אֲשֶׁר עִם לְבָבוֹ, וּלְהִתְפַּלֵּל וְלִצְעֹק כְּכָל חֶפְצוֹ וְלֹא יִהְיֶה לוֹ שׁוּם בִּלְבּוּל מִשּׁוּם דָּבָר. אֲבָל מֵחֲמַת שֶׁנִּתְיָרֵא מְאֹד שֶׁגַּם בָּזֶה יִתְפַּרְסֵם הַדָּבָר, כִּי הֲלֹא אִם יִרְאוּהוּ שֶׁהוּא יוֹצֵא מִחוּץ לָעִיר יִהְיֶה תְּמִיהָא גְּדוֹלָה, כִּי הֲלֹא יָדְעוּ כָּל יוֹשְׁבֵי עִירוֹ שֶׁאֵין לוֹ שׁוּם עֵסֶק מִחוּץ לָעִיר, וְהוּא הָיָה מִמֻּבְחֲרֵי בְּנֵי הַנְּעוּרִים שֶׁבָּעִיר, בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְעֹשֶׁר וּבְחָכְמָה וּבְיִחוּס, וְאִישׁ כָּזֶה כְּשֶׁיִּרְאוּהוּ שֶׁהוּא יוֹצֵא מִחוּץ לָעִיר יִתְמְהוּ וְיִשְׁאֲלוּ זֶה לָזֶה וּבְוַדַּאי יִתְפַּרְסֵם הַדָּבָר. וְהִתְחִיל לַחְשֹׁב שֵׁנִית בְּרַעְיוֹנוֹתָיו מַה לַּעֲשׂוֹת, וְנִסְכְּמָה עֲצָתוֹ שֶׁהַזְּמַן הַמֻּבְחָר לָזֶה הוּא הַלַּיְלָה. כִּי בְּאִישׁוֹן לַיְלָה וַאֲפֵלָה בְּעֵת שֶׁבְּנֵי אָדָם יְשֵׁנִים, אָז יֵצֵא לָשׂוּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶה בִּמְקוֹמוֹ אֲשֶׁר יִבְחַר לוֹ שָׁם וְלֹא יֵדַע מִזֶּה שׁוּם אָדָם. כִּי בְּבֵיתוֹ יִסְבְּרוּ שֶׁהוּא הוֹלֵךְ לְבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ כְּדַרְכּוֹ מִקֹּדֶם. וְכֵן עָשָׂה וְקִיֵּם, וְאַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן נִתְוַדַּע זֹאת אַחַר־כָּךְ לִקְצָת בְּנֵי הַנְּעוּרִים אֲבָל לֹא פִּרְסְמוּ זֹאת, כִּי הֵבִינוּ שֶׁאֵין רְצוֹנוֹ בָּזֶה. וְגַם כְּשֶׁהָיָה בִּבְרֶסְלֶב אֵצֶל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עָשָׂה כָּזֹאת
כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים:
Siman 5. ה He Practices Hisbodidus — Conversation with G-d — in the Fields at Night. And immediately upon his departure from Admoyr z"l, he entered the great synagogue mentioned — where no one was there at that time — and began to fulfill this [counsel]. After Yom Kippur he traveled home, and began to yearn very greatly to fulfill this as it should be — as his heart longed to lay out properly all his conversation before Hashem, may He be blessed, in full and particular detail of everything that befell him. To cry out and call to Hashem, may He be blessed, from the depths of his heart about each and every matter in particular — to fulfill "Out of the depths I have called to You, O Hashem" [Tehillim 130:1; see Likutay Tinyono section 25] . He suffered greatly in this matter — for in the presence of people it was impossible to do so, and a locked room in his father's house he also did not have. And even when he occasionally found some secluded spot, he suffered disturbances, for in the middle of things, it frequently happened that someone suddenly entered — and he was greatly confused by this and did not know what to do. He deliberated in his mind that the best place for him to fulfill this properly was only outside the city — for there he would be able to find an open and secluded place where people did not pass, and there he would be able to pour out before Hashem, may He be blessed, all that was in his heart, and to pray and to cry out as much as he wished, with no disturbance from any cause. But due to his great fear that even in this the matter would become known — for if they saw him going outside the city it would be a great wonder, since all the residents of his city knew that he had no business outside the city — and he was among the most distinguished young men of the city in Torah, in wealth, in wisdom, and in distinguished lineage. When such a person was seen going outside the city, they would wonder and ask one another, and certainly the matter would become known. He began to think again in his reflections as to what to do — and his counsel was settled: the finest time for this was the night. For in the pitch of night and darkness, when people are sleeping, he would then go out to stroll in the field in the place he would choose — and no person would know of this. For in his house they would assume he was going to the study-hall as was his regular practice. And so he did and fulfilled it — and even so, some of the young men found out about it afterwards, but they did not publicize it, for they understood that this was not his wish. And also when he was in Breslov with Admoyr z"l, he did similarly, several times.
## Segment 10
ו
וְלִבּוֹ הָיָה בּוֹעֵר מְאֹד לַעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְכָל תְּפִלָּתוֹ וְלִמּוּדוֹ הָיָה בְּהִתְלַהֲבוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד אֲשֶׁר אֵין לְשַׁעֵר. וּבְכָל עֵת וָעֵת שֶׁהָיָה צַר לוֹ בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ, הָיָה נוֹסֵעַ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְהוּא הִרְבָּה מְאֹד בִּדְבָרָיו הַנְּעִימִים לְעוֹרְרוֹ וּלְהַחֲיוֹתוֹ וּלְחַזְּקוֹ בְּכָל מִינֵי חִזּוּק. וַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל דִּבֵּר עִמּוֹ שֶׁיִּקַּח לְעַצְמוֹ בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁיִּתְחַזֵּק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ אַף אִם יַעֲבֹר עָלָיו מָה, אֲפִלּוּ אִם יִצְטָרֵךְ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם לְהַחֲזִיר עַל הַפְּתָחִים. וְכָל זֶה וְיוֹתֵר מִזֶּה יְקַבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ אוּלַי יִזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ, אֲשֶׁר רַק זֹאת יִשָּׁאֵר לְהָאָדָם לְעוֹלְמֵי עַד וּלְנֶצַח נְצָחִים, כִּי אֵין שׁוּם יִתְרוֹן מִכָּל הֶעָמָל וְהַטִּרְחָא שֶׁל הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה הָעוֹבֶרֶת וּפוֹרַחַת כְּהֶרֶף עַיִן, וּפִתְאֹם נִלְכָּדִים בִּמְצוּדָה רָעָה אֲשֶׁר אֵין גַּם אֶחָד שֶׁיִּמָּלֵט מִזֶּה, וּבְהֶכְרֵחַ לְהִתְבַּלּוֹת בֶּעָפָר רִמָּה וְתוֹלֵעָה, וְכַמּוּבָא מִזֶּה בִּסְפָרָיו זַ"ל שֶׁצָרִיךְ לִשְׁמֹר מְאֹד אֶת הַזִכָּרוֹן הַזֶּה בְּכָל יוֹם וָיוֹם. וְכֵן עָשָׂה וְקִיֵּם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל. וְרָצָה לִפְרֹשׁ אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְגַמְרֵי מֵהַבְלֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, וּלְבַלּוֹת כָּל יָמָיו בְּתוֹרָה וַעֲבוֹדַת ה', וְכָל אוֹהֲבָיו וּמְיֻדָּעָיו הִרְבּוּ לְדַבֵּר עָלָיו עַל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְרַחֵם עַל עַצְמוֹ וְעַל אִשְׁתּוֹ וּבָנָיו לְהִשְׁתַּדֵּל בְּעִסְקֵי פַּרְנָסָה כְּדֶרֶךְ כָּל הָאָרֶץ. וְהוּא לֹא הָיָה לוֹ פְּנַאי כְּלָל אֲפִלּוּ לִשְׁמֹעַ אֶת דִּבְרֵיהֶם וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן לְהָשִׁיב לָהֶם עַל זֶה:
Siman 6. ו His Burning Heart; Admoyr's Counsel on Clinging to Service. And his heart burned very greatly for the service of Hashem, may He be blessed — and his every prayer and study was with very great fervor, beyond all measure. And at every moment when things were difficult for him in his divine service, he would travel to Admoyr z"l — who greatly multiplied his pleasant words to arouse him, and to enliven him, and to strengthen him with every manner of encouragement. And Admoyr z"l spoke with him, that he should take it upon himself in his mind to strengthen himself in his divine service no matter what would befall him — even if, G-d forbid, he would need to go from door to door begging. And all of this and more he should accept upon himself — perhaps he would merit to be as Hashem's will desires. For only this will remain for a person for all eternity and forever — for there is no advantage whatsoever from all the toil and the effort of this world, which passes and flies away in the blink of an eye. And suddenly one is caught in an evil trap from which not even one person escapes — and necessarily one decays in the dust and worm and maggot. And as is brought from this in his holy writings — that one must guard very carefully this remembrance [of the day of death] every single day. And so Moharan"as z"l did and fulfilled. And he wanted to fully separate himself from the vanities of this world and to spend all his days in Torah and the service of G-d. And all his friends and acquaintances multiplied their words against him, that he was not taking pity upon himself, upon his wife, and upon his children — to exert himself in the pursuit of livelihood as is the way of all the earth. And he had no time at all to even hear their words, still less to respond to them about it.
## Segment 11
ז
וְכִרְאוֹת אָבִיו אֶת כָּל זֶה הִרְבָּה לִקְצֹף עָלָיו מְאֹד וְהָלַךְ וְגֵרְשׁוֹ מִבֵּיתוֹ, וְהַמָּעוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ בְּעֵרֶךְ שְׁנֵי אֲלָפִים רוּבָּל כֶּסֶף לָקַח בְּיָדוֹ וְלֹא רָצָה לִתְּנָם לוֹ, וְהֻכְרַח לֶאֱכֹל אֵצֶל זְקֵנוֹ. חוּץ מִשְּׁאָר מִינֵי מְרִירוּת שֶׁעָבַר עָלָיו בְּאוֹתוֹ הָעֵת. וְהוּא לֹא הֵסֵב אֶת פָּנָיו גַּם מִזֶּה, וְהִרְבָּה לַעֲסֹק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּהַתְמָדָה גְּדוֹלָה, וְגַם שָׁקַד בְּכָל עֵת עַל דַּלְתֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל לִשְׁמֹעַ מִמֶּנּוּ דִּבְרֵי אֱלֹקִים חַיִּים. וְלִפְעָמִים נִתְפַּיֵּס אֵלָיו אָבִיו קְצָת, וְהוּא הֻכְרַח לְהַבְטִיחַ לוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יַרְבֶּה עַל־כָּל־פָּנִים בִּנְסִיעָתוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, אֲבָל מִגֹּדֶל מוֹקֵד לְבָבוֹ לֹא הָיָה בְּאֶפְשָׁרוּתוֹ לְהִתְאַפֵּק בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן וְהֻכְרַח לַעֲבֹר עַל הַבְטָחָתוֹ
וְלִנְסֹעַ שֵׁנִית כַּנַּ"ל:
Siman 7. ז His Father Expels Him; He Does Not Desist from His Service. And when his father saw all this, he multiplied his anger at him greatly — and went and expelled him from his house. And his money — approximately two thousand silver rubles — he took in his hand and refused to give to him, and [ Moharan"as ] was compelled to eat at his grandfather's table — aside from the many other types of bitterness that befell him at that time. Yet he did not turn his face away from this either — and he multiplied his engagement in his divine service with great, unwavering devotion. And he also zealously stood at the doorposts of Admoyr z"l at every opportunity to hear from him the living words of G-d. And at times his father was appeased somewhat toward him — and he was compelled to promise him that he would at least not multiply his journeys to Admoyr z"l. But due to the greatness of the fire of his heart, it was not in his power to restrain himself in any way — and he was compelled to break his promise and travel a second time, as mentioned.
## Segment 12
ח
וּבְסוֹף אוֹתוֹ הַחֹרֶף נָסַע לְמֶעדְוֶודוּבְקֶע (כַּמּוּבָא בִּימֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת) כִּי שָׁם הָיָה אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בָּעֵת הַהִיא. וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהִיא דֶּרֶךְ רְחוֹקָה מִנֶּעמְרוֹב, וְהָיָה לוֹ עַל זֹאת הַנְּסִיעָה מְנִיעוֹת רַבּוֹת וּגְדוֹלוֹת אֲשֶׁר אִי אֶפְשָׁר לְבָאֵר הַכֹּל בִּכְתָב וְהוּא הִתְגַּבֵּר עַל כֻּלָּם, וְיָשַׁב שָׁם אֵצֶל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל כַּמָּה שָׁבוּעוֹת, עַד שֶׁחָזַר אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל לְבֵיתוֹ כַּמּוּבָא כָּל זֶה בִּימֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת עַיֵּן
שָׁם:
Siman 8. ח He Travels to Medvedevka Despite Great Obstacles. At the end of that winter, he traveled to Medvedevka [as brought in Yemay Moharan"as ] — for Admoyr z"l was there at that time. And even though it was a distant journey from Nemirov, and he had many great obstacles for this journey that it is impossible to describe in writing — he overcame all of them, and sat there with Admoyr z"l for several weeks, until Admoyr z"l returned home. All of this is brought in Yemay Moharan"as — see there.
## Segment 13
ט
אַחַר־כָּךְ בִּימֵי הַקַּיִץ כְּשֶׁרָאוּ אֶת אֹמֶץ לְבָבוֹ בַּעֲבוֹדַת ה' עַד שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לְמָנְעוֹ מִזֶּה בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן, הִתְחִיל אָבִיו מֵחָדָשׁ לְהִתְפַּיֵּס קְצָת וְאָמַר שֶׁיַּחֲזִיר לוֹ אֶת כָּל מְעוֹתָיו. וְעִם כָּל זֶה גֵּרָה עָלָיו אֶת שְׁאָר בְּנֵי בֵּיתוֹ שֶׁיִּתְעוֹרְרוּ מֵחָדָשׁ לְהִתְוַכֵּחַ עִמּוֹ וְיַעֲנוּ וְיֹאמְרוּ לוֹ: הֲלֹא זֶה כַּמָּה שָׁנִים שֶׁאַתָּה סָמוּךְ עַל שֻׁלְחַן אָבִיךָ (כִּי אָז כְּבָר הָיָה בְּעֵרֶךְ עֲשָׂרָה שָׁנִים מִיּוֹם חֲתֻנָּתוֹ) וְעַתָּה מָתַי תַּעֲשֶׂה גַּם אַתָּה לְבֵיתְךָ, וּמַדּוּעַ לֹא תְּרַחֵם עָלֶיךָ וְעַל בָּנֶיךָ (וְעוֹד כַּיּוֹצֵא בִּדְבָרִים אֵלּוּ), וְהֵן אָמְנָם כִּי אָנוּ יוֹדְעִים מֵאֹמֶץ לְבָבְךָ בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה עַד שֶׁאִי אֶפְשָׁר לְךָ לְהִתְפָּרֵד מִזֶּה בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן, אֲבָל אֵין אָנוּ אוֹמְרִים לְךָ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם שֶׁתִּתְבַּטֵּל לְגַמְרֵי מֵהַלִּמּוּד, רַק עֲצָתֵנוּ, שֶׁנַּשְׂכִּיר לְךָ חֲנוּת, וְזוּגָתְךָ תֵּשֵׁב כָּל הַיּוֹם בַּחֲנוּת וְאַתָּה לֹא יִהְיֶה לְךָ שׁוּם עֵסֶק בָּזֶה, אֲבָל עַל־כָּל־פָּנִים דָּבָר אֶחָד אַתָּה מֻכְרָח לְהַבְטִיחַ לָנוּ, הַיְנוּ שֶׁתִּסַּע לְבַארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב עֲבוּר קְנִיַּת הַסְּחוֹרָה, וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁתִּהְיֶה מֻכְרָח לְהִתְבַּטֵּל בָּזֶה לִפְעָמִים אֵיזֶה יָמִים, אֲבָל לְעֻמַּת זֶה לֹא יִהְיֶה לְךָ בְּכָל אֹרֶךְ הַזְּמַן שֶׁבֵּינְתַיִם לֹא שׁוּם בִּלְבּוּל מִשּׁוּם אָדָם, וְלֹא שׁוּם בִּטּוּל מִשּׁוּם דָּבָר וְיִהְיֶה בִּיכָלְתְּךָ לַעֲסֹק בַּתּוֹרָה וַעֲבוֹדַת ה' כִּרְצוֹנְךָ וְאַוַּת נַפְשְׁךָ בְּלִי שׁוּם מְנִיעָה. כָּאֵלֶּה וְכָאֵלֶּה דִּבְּרוּ עַל לְבָבוֹ כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים וְהוּא לֹא חָשְׁקָה נַפְשׁוֹ גַּם בָּזֶה, וְגַם לֹא יָדְעוּ לִמְצֹא אֵיזֶה עֵת וּזְמַן לְהִתְוַכֵּחַ עִמּוֹ הַרְבֵּה בָּזֶה אַחֲרֵי אֲשֶׁר כָּל הַיּוֹם יָשַׁב בְּבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וּכְשֶׁבָּא לֶאֱכֹל נִזְהַר מְאֹד לִבְלִי לְהִתְמַהְמֵהַּ יוֹתֵר מֵהַהֶכְרֵחַ אֲפִלּוּ כְּרֶגַע, וְזֵרֵז עַצְמוֹ בְּתַכְלִית הַזְּרִיזוּת לָשׁוּב לְלִמּוּדוֹ וְלַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ. וְנִתְיַעֲצוּ בְּנֵי בֵּיתוֹ לִשְׁלֹחַ אֵלָיו לְהַבֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ אֶת אֲחִי אָבִיו שֶׁהָיָה אִישׁ פָּנוּי קְצָת, וְשָׁלְחוּ אוֹתוֹ בְּכָל יוֹם שֶׁיֵּלֵךְ אֵלָיו לְהַבֵּית מִדְרָשׁ כְּדֵי לִטְעֹן עִמּוֹ עַל זֶה. וּבְרֹב טַעֲנָתָם עִמּוֹ חָזְקוּ עָלָיו דִּבְרֵיהֶם, וְהֻכְרַח לְהַבְטִיחָם עַל זֹאת אֲבָל הִתְנָה עִמָּם שֶׁעַל־כָּל־פָּנִים לֹא יִהְיֶה לוֹ שׁוּם עֵסֶק אַחֵר זוּלַת הַנְּסִיעָה, כִּי הֵם בְּעַצְמָם יִשְׂכְּרוּ לוֹ עֲגָלָה וְיָכִינוּ לוֹ כָּל צָרְכֵי הַנְּסִיעָה, וְהוּא לֹא יִצְטָרֵךְ לַעֲשׂוֹת
מְאוּמָה רַק הַנְּסִיעָה וּקְנִיַּת הַסְּחוֹרָה לְבַד:
Siman 9. ט His Family Pressures Him into Business; He Agrees Only to Buying Trips. Afterwards in the days of summer, when they saw the strength of his heart in the service of G-d — to the point that it was impossible to prevent him from it in any way — his father began anew to be somewhat appeased, and said that he would return all his money to him. Nevertheless he incited against him the other members of the household, who arose anew to debate with him and said: "Is it not already several years that you sit at your father's table" [for by then it was already approximately ten years since his wedding] , "and when will you also do something for your own household? Why do you not have pity upon yourself and upon your children?" And [they added] other words like these. And [they continued:] "We know of the strength of your heart in Torah and prayer, to the point that it is impossible for you to part from this in any way — and G-d forbid we are not telling you to be completely idle from study. Rather, our counsel is that we should rent you a store, and your wife will sit in the store all day, and you will have no business dealings whatsoever in it. Only this one thing are you obligated to promise us — that you travel to Berditchev to buy merchandise. And even though you will necessarily be absent for some days, in return for that, throughout all the extended time in between you will have no interference from anyone and no interruption from anything, and you will be able to engage in Torah and the service of G-d as you wish and as your soul desires, with no obstacle." Such words and more they spoke to his heart many times — and still his soul did not desire even this. And they could find no time to debate with him at length on this, since he sat all day in the study-hall, and when he came to eat he was very careful not to tarry any longer than absolutely necessary — not even for a moment — and he pressed himself with the utmost alacrity to return to his learning and his service. The members of his household took counsel to send to the study-hall an uncle of his father's who was somewhat free, and they sent him every day to go to the study-hall to argue with him about this. And through the forcefulness of their arguments, their words grew strong upon him — and he was compelled to promise them this. But he stipulated with them that in any case he would have no other business whatsoever besides the traveling — for they themselves would hire a wagon and prepare all his travel needs, and he would not need to do anything at all, only the travel and the buying of merchandise alone.
## Segment 14
י
וְגַם עַל זֹאת דָּוָה לִבּוֹ מְאֹד, וְנַפְשׁוֹ הָיְתָה מָרָה לוֹ עַל כָּל זֶה בְּלִי שִׁעוּר. כִּי כְּפִי שֶׁנִּקְבַּע בִּלְבָבוֹ זִכְרוֹן יוֹם הַמִּיתָה וְיוֹם הַקְּבוּרָה שֶׁמּוּכָנִים וְעוֹמְדִים לָזֶה בְּכָל עֵת וָרֶגַע, וְכָל הַיָּמִים שֶׁל הָאָדָם הֵם מְנוּיִים וּסְפוּרִים וּקְצוּבִים בְּמִסְפָּר אֵצֶל הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְכָל שָׁעָה שֶׁיִּתְבַּטֵּל בִּקְנִיַּת הַסְּחוֹרָה הִיא אֲבֵדָה הַנִצְחִיִּית אֲבֵדָה שֶׁאֵינָהּ חוֹזֶרֶת, אֲבֵדָה וְהֶפְסֵד רֶוַח נִפְלָא וְנוֹרָא עַיִן לֹא רָאָתָה וְכוּ' שֶׁהָיָה מַרְוִיחַ בְּהַשָּׁעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה. וְאַף עַל־פִּי־כֵן נִסְתַּפֵּק מְאֹד וְלֹא יָדַע לָתֵת עֵצָה בְּנַפְשׁוֹ אִם לְהִתְעַקֵּשׁ עִמָּהֶם גַּם בָּזֶה, כִּי כְּבָר הִכְנִיסוּ דִּבְרֵיהֶם בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁיִּסְתַּפֵּק אוּלַי כָּךְ הוּא רְצוֹנוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיַּעֲסֹק קְצָת בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן, וְגַם זֶה נֶחְשָׁב לַעֲבוֹדַת ה' וּכְמוֹ שֶׁאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זַ"ל הַרְבֵּה עָשׂוּ כְּרַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן וְלֹא עָלְתָה בְּיָדָם (כִּי הַדִּבּוּר יֵשׁ לוֹ כֹּחַ גָּדוֹל לִמְשֹׁךְ לֵב הָאָדָם הֵן לְטוֹב הֵן לְהִפּוּךְ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם כַּמּוּבָא מִזֶּה בִּדְבָרָיו זַ"ל). עַל כֵּן נִתְיַשֵּׁב בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁקֹּדֶם נְסִיעָתוֹ שֶׁלְּעֵת עַתָּה יֵלֵךְ גַּם עַכְשָׁו אֶל מְקוֹמוֹ אַשֶׁר לוֹ מִחוּץ לָעִיר, וּבְצֵאתוֹ אֶת הָעִיר יִפְרֹשׂ אֶת כַּפָּיו לְפָנָיו בִּבְכִי וְתַחֲנוּנִים מֵעֹמֶק הַלֵּב אוּלַי יָחוּס וִירַחֵם עָלָיו לְהַנְחוֹתוֹ בְּדֶרֶךְ הָאֱמֶת לְבִלְתִּי יָסוּר מֵרְצוֹנוֹ יָמִין וּשְׂמֹאל חַס וְשָׁלוֹם. וְכֵן עָשָׂה שֶׁהָלַךְ וְנִתְמַהֲמַהּ שָׁם עַד שֶׁהֵאִיר הַשַּׁחַר. וּמִשָּׁם הָלַךְ לְבֵית הַכְּנֶסֶת, וְלָמַד קְצָת וְאַחַר־כָּךְ הִתְפַּלֵּל תְּפִלַּת שַׁחֲרִית. וְאַחַר תְּפִלָּתוֹ נִתְיַשֵּׁב בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁקֹּדֶם נְסִיעָתוֹ לְבַארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב יִסַּע מִקֹּדֶם לִבְרֶסְלֶב לְקַבֵּל רְשׁוּת מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל. כִּי יָדַע שֶׁדֶּרֶךְ הַבַּעַל עֲגָלָה הַנּוֹסֵעַ לְבַארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב לְבַל יָשִׂים לַדֶּרֶךְ פְּעָמָיו עַד לִפְנוֹת עֶרֶב, וְאָז הַיָּמִים הַסְּמוּכִים לִתְקוּפַת תַּמּוּז שֶׁהַיָּמִים אֲרֻכִּים מְאֹד וּמִנֶּעמְרוֹב לִבְרֶסְלֶב שְׁמוֹנָה עָשָׂר מִיל (ווערסט) וְיִהְיֶה עוֹד בְּאֶפְשָׁרוּת לִסַּע וְלַחֲזֹר קֹדֶם נְסִיעָתוֹ. וְאַף שֶׁלְּפִי שָׁעָה לֹא נִמְצָא לוֹ עֲגָלָה לִנְסֹעַ לְשָׁם, אֲבָל מִגֹּדֶל תְּשׁוּקָתוֹ הִתְחִיל לֵילֵךְ לְשָׁם בְּרַגְלָיו וְאַגַּב אוֹרְחָא עָסַק גַּם בִּצְעָקָה וּתְפִלָּה לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ (עַיֵּן לְקַמָּן בְּאוֹת ט"ז). וְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ הִזְמִין לוֹ עֲגָלָה בְּדֶרֶךְ הֲלִיכָתוֹ, וְנָסַע וּבָא לִבְרֶסְלֶב. וּבְבֹאוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הִתְחִיל לְדַבֵּר וְלָשִׂיחַ עִמּוֹ כְּדַרְכּוֹ תָּמִיד, וּבְתוֹךְ שִׂיחָתוֹ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה יָצָא עִמּוֹ לַחוּץ וְהָיָה הוֹלֵךְ וּמְדַבֵּר עִמּוֹ עַד שֶׁבָּאוּ עַל הָהָר אֲשֶׁר מֵעֵבֶר לְהַנַּחַל הָעוֹבֵר שָׁם סָמוּךְ
לְבֵיתוֹ וְנִכְנַס עִמּוֹ בְּשִׂיחָה אֲרֻכָּה מְאֹד:
Siman 10. י His Anguish; He Pours His Heart Out in the Fields; He Goes to Admoyr First. And on account of this too his heart ached greatly, and his soul was very bitter to him on account of all this, beyond all measure. For as it was established in his heart — the remembrance of the day of death and the day of burial, which stand ready for this at every moment — and all the days of a person are counted and numbered and reckoned in number before Hashem, may He be blessed. Every hour that he would be idle from [divine service] in the purchase of merchandise is an eternal loss — a loss that does not return, a loss and forfeiting of a wondrous, awesome gain that eye has not seen [cf. Yeshayahu 64:3] — that he would have acquired in those hours. And even so, he was very much in doubt and did not know how to counsel himself — whether to persist in his refusal also in this — for their words had already entered his thoughts to wonder: perhaps it is indeed the will of Hashem that he engage somewhat in commerce, and this too is counted as the service of G-d? As our Sages z"l said: "Many did as Reb Shimon bar Yochai and did not succeed" . [For speech has great power to pull the heart of a person — whether toward good or toward its opposite, G-d forbid, as is brought from this in his holy writings.] He therefore settled in his mind that before his journey he would go now also to his place outside the city — and upon his departure from the city he would spread out his palms before Him with weeping and supplication from the depths of his heart — perhaps He would have pity and mercy upon him and guide him in the path of truth, so that he would not deviate from His will, right or left, G-d forbid. And so he did — he went and lingered there until the dawn broke. From there he went to the synagogue, studied a little, and then prayed the morning prayer. After his prayer he settled in his mind that before his journey to Berditchev, he would first travel to Breslov to receive permission from Admoyr z"l. For he knew that the custom of the wagon-driver traveling to Berditchev was not to set out on the journey until close to evening — and those days being near the summer solstice, the days were very long — and from Nemirov to Breslov was eighteen miles [verst], and it would still be possible to travel there and back before his journey. And even though he had at the moment no wagon to travel there, from the greatness of his longing he began to walk there on foot — and along the way he also engaged in crying out and prayer before Hashem, may He be blessed [see below in section 16] . And Hashem, may He be blessed, sent him a wagon on the way — and he traveled and came to Breslov. And upon his coming to Admoyr z"l, he [ Admoyr ] began to speak and converse with him as was his constant manner — and during his holy conversation he went out with him outside, and walked, speaking with him, until they came to the mountain on the other side of the stream that flows there near his house — and he entered with him into a very lengthy conversation.
## Segment 15
יא
וְאָז דִּבֵּר עִמּוֹ הָעִנְיָן הַמּוּבָא בְּלִקּוּטֵי א' סִימָן נ"ב עַל אוֹדוֹת הַטּוֹעִים הָאוֹמְרִים שֶׁהָעוֹלָם הוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְכוּ' אַךְ מֵאַיִן נִמְשָׁךְ הַטָּעוּת וְכוּ' דַּע שֶׁזֶּה נִמְשָׁךְ מֵחֲמַת שֶׁבֶּאֱמֶת עַתָּה שֶׁכְּבָר נֶאֶצְלוּ וְנִמְשְׁכוּ נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, עַתָּה בְּוַדַּאי הָעוֹלָם הוּא בִּבְחִינַת מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְכוּ' אַךְ נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּעַצְמָן כְּשֶׁנֶּאֶצְלוּ הָיוּ הֵם בְּעַצְמָן עִם כָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת הַתְּלוּיִים בָּהֶם הַכֹּל הָיָה אֶפְשָׁרִי הַמְּצִיאוּת. כִּי הָיָה בְּאֶפְשָׁרוּתוֹ לְהַאֲצִילָם וּלְבָרְאָם, אוֹ שֶׁלֹּא לְבָרְאָם, אַךְ תֵּכֶף כְּשֶׁנִּתְרַצָּה הַקָּדוֹשׁ־בָּרוּךְ־הוּא לְהַאֲצִיל נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲזַי הָיָה כָּל הָעוֹלָם בִּבְחִינַת מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת. כִּי מֵאַחַר שֶׁנֶּאֶצְלוּ נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל, אֲזַי כִּבְיָכוֹל הוּא מְחֻיָּב לְהַמְצִיא הָעוֹלָם, כִּי עַל מְנָת כֵּן נֶאֶצְלוּ נִשְׁמָתָן, שֶׁכָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת יִבָּרְאוּ בִּשְׁבִילָם וְהֵם יִמְשְׁלוּ בַּכֹּל. וּמִזֶּה נִשְׁתַּלְשֵׁל וְנִמְשַׁךְ הַשְּׁטוּת וְכוּ', אֲבָל בֶּאֱמֶת רַק הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ לְבַד הוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת
וְכוּ':
וְעִקַּר הַכַּוָּנָה שֶׁבָּרָא כָּל הָעוֹלָם בִּשְׁבִיל יִשְׂרָאֵל הָיָה כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל יַעֲשׂוּ רְצוֹנוֹ וְשֶׁיַּחְזְרוּ וְיִדָּבְקוּ בְּשָׁרְשָׁן, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁיַּחְזְרוּ וְיִכָּלְלוּ בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְכוּ'. וְרַק בִּשְׁבִיל זֶה מְחֻיָּב הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כִּבְיָכוֹל לִבְרֹא וּלְקַיֵּם כָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת בִּשְׁבִיל יִשְׂרָאֵל כַּנַּ"ל, כְּדֵי שֶׁיַּעֲשׂוּ רְצוֹנוֹ כַּנַּ"ל, וְעַל כֵּן אָז דַּיְקָא כְּשֶׁעוֹשִׂין רְצוֹנוֹ נִכְלָל הָעוֹלָם בִּבְחִינַת מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְכוּ'. כִּי עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁעוֹשִׂין רְצוֹנוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ הֵם חוֹזְרִין וְנִכְלָלִין בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְאָז נִכְלָלִין עִמָהֶם כָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת הַתְּלוּיִים בְּנַפְשׁוֹ בְּחִיּוּב הַמְּצִיאוּת (אַגַּב אוֹרְחָא אָמַרְתִּי לְהוֹדִיעַ לְהַמְעַיֵּן מַה שֶּׁנִּרְאֶה קְצָת לְפִי עֲנִיּוּת דַּעְתִּי בְּבֵאוּר דְּבָרָיו הַקְּדוֹשִׁים הָאֵלֶּה: כִּי בְּהָעִנְיָן הַזֶּה שֶׁל כְּלָלִיּוּת הָעוֹלָמוֹת עַל־יְדֵי נִשְׁמוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּמְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת הוּא מֵבִיא בָּזֶה שְׁנֵי טְעָמִים שֶׁכָּל אֶחָד נָעוּץ וְקָשׁוּר בַּחֲבֵרוֹ: טַעַם א' מֵחֲמַת שֶׁכָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת תְּלוּיִים וּמְקֻשָּׁרִים בְּנַפְשׁוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל הַמּוֹשְׁלִים בָּהֶם, עַל כֵּן עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל עוֹשִׂין רְצוֹנוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת וְנִכְלָלִין בּוֹ, אָז מִמֵּילָא נִכְלָלִין גַּם הָעוֹלָמוֹת הַתְּלוּיִים בָּהֶם בִּמְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת: טַעַם ב' מֵחֲמַת שֶׁעַל מְנָת כֵּן בָּרָא אוֹתָם בִּשְׁבִיל הַתַּכְלִית הַזֶּה שֶׁיִּשְׂרָאֵל יַעֲשׂוּ רְצוֹנוֹ וְכוּ' וְעַתָּה כֵּיוָן שֶׁכְּבָר נַעֲשֶׂה הַתַּכְלִית הַזֶּה עַתָּה דַּיְקָא הוּא מְחֻיָּב כַּבְיָכוֹל לְקַיְּמָם בִּמְצִיאוּתָם וּלְהַחֲיוֹתָם וּלְהַנְהִיגָם. וְעַיֵּן בְּדִבְרֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בְּהַקְדָּמַת הַלִּקּוּטֵי א' בַּמֶּה שֶׁכָּתַב שָׁם בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן, וְצָרִיךְ אַתָּה הַמְעַיֵּן שֶׁתָּבִין בִּדְבָרָיו שֶׁלִּפְעָמִים מֵבִיא שְׁתַּיִם אוֹ שָׁלֹשׁ רְאָיוֹת לְדָבָר אֶחָד וְכוּ', וּמֵרְהִיטַת הַלָּשׁוֹן נִדְמֶה כְּאִלּוּ הִיא רְאָיָה אַחַת וְכוּ' עַיֵּן שָׁם). אַךְ לִזְכּוֹת לָזֶה לְהִכָּלֵל בְּשָׁרְשׁוֹ דְּהַיְנוּ לַחֲזֹר וּלְהִכָּלֵל בְּאַחְדוּת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת, זֶה אִי אֶפְשָׁר לִזְכּוֹת כִּי אִם עַל־יְדֵי בִּטּוּל, שֶׁיְּבַטֵּל עַצְמוֹ לְגַמְרֵי עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נִכְלָל בְּאַחְדוּתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לָבֹא לִידֵי בִּטּוּל כִּי אִם עַל־יְדֵי הִתְבּוֹדְדוּת, כִּי עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁמִּתְבּוֹדֵד וּמְפָרֵשׁ שִׂיחָתוֹ בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין קוֹנוֹ, עַל־יְדֵי זֶה הוּא זוֹכֶה לְבַטֵּל כָּל הַתַּאֲווֹת וְהַמִּדּוֹת רָעוֹת עַד שֶׁזּוֹכֶה לְבַטֵּל כָּל גַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ וּלְהִכָּלֵל בְּשָׁרְשׁוֹ, אַךְ עִקַּר הִתְבּוֹדְדוּת הוּא בַּלַּיְלָה בְּעֵת שֶׁהָעוֹלָם פָּנוּי מִטִּרְדַּת הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, כִּי בַּיּוֹם וְכוּ' וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם הוּא בְּעַצְמוֹ אֵינוֹ טָרוּד אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן מֵאַחַר שֶׁהָעוֹלָם טְרוּדִים אָז וְכוּ' עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה קָשֶׁה אָז לָבֹא לִידֵי בִּטּוּל. וְגַם צְרִיכִין שֶׁיִּהְיֶה הִתְבּוֹדְדוּת בְּמָקוֹם מְיֻחָד דְּהַיְנוּ חוּץ מֵהָעִיר בַּדֶּרֶךְ יְחִידִי וְכוּ', כִּי בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁהוֹלְכִים שָׁם בְּנֵי אָדָם בַּיּוֹם הָרוֹדְפִים אַחַר הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁכָּעֵת אֵינָם הוֹלְכִים שָׁם הוּא מְבַלְבֵּל גַּם־כֵּן הַהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת, וְאֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לְהִתְבַּטֵּל וּלְהִכָּלֵל בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ, עַל־כֵּן צָרִיךְ שֶׁיֵּלֵךְ לְבַדּוֹ בַּלַּיְלָה בַּדֶּרֶךְ יְחִידִי בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין שָׁם בְּנֵי אָדָם, וְשָׁם יֵלֵךְ וְיִתְבּוֹדֵד וִיפַנֶּה לִבּוֹ וְדַעְתּוֹ מִכָּל עִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וִיבַטֵּל הַכֹּל עַד שֶׁיִּזְכֶּה לִבְחִינַת בִּטּוּל בֶּאֱמֶת וְכוּ' וְכוּ'. וַאֲזַי כְּשֶׁזּוֹכֶה לְבִטּוּל בֶּאֱמֶת וַאֲזַי נִכְלָל נַפְשׁוֹ בְּשָׁרְשׁוֹ דְּהַיְנוּ בּוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת אֲזַי נִכְלָל כָּל הָעוֹלָם עִם נַפְשׁוֹ בְּשָׁרְשׁוֹ שֶׁהוּא מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת כִּי הַכֹּל תָּלוּי בּוֹ כַּנַּ"ל. וַאֲזַי נַעֲשֶׂה כָּל הָעוֹלָם
עַל־יָדוֹ בִּבְחִינַת מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת כַּנַּ"ל:
Siman 11. יא Admoyr Reveals a Deep Torah Teaching; Moharan"as Is Transported. And then he spoke with him regarding the matter brought in Likutay [Moharan] Part I, section 52 — regarding those who err and say that the world is necessarily existent [ mechuyav hametzius ] etc. But from where does the error derive? Know that this derives from the fact that now that the souls of Israel have already been emanated and drawn forth, now certainly the world is in the aspect of necessarily existent etc. For the souls of Israel themselves, when they were [first] being emanated, were themselves — together with all the worlds depending upon them — in the aspect of possibly existent [ efshari hametzius ]. For it was in His power to emanate and create them — or not to create them. But as soon as the Holy One, Blessed is He, was pleased to emanate the souls of Israel, then the entire world was in the aspect of necessarily existent. For since the souls of Israel were emanated, it is then as it were obligatory upon Him to bring the world into existence — since on that condition were their souls emanated: that all worlds should be created for their sake, and they should rule over all. And from this the foolishness derived etc. But in truth, only Hashem, may He be blessed, alone is necessarily existent etc. And the essential intention [of creation] — that He created the entire world for the sake of Israel — was so that Israel would do His will, and return and cleave to their root, that is, to return and be absorbed into Him, may He be blessed, Who is necessarily existent etc. And only for this is Hashem, may He be blessed, as it were obligated to create and to maintain all the worlds for the sake of Israel — as mentioned — so that they do His will. And therefore precisely when they do His will, the world is absorbed in the aspect of necessarily existent etc. For through their doing His will, may He be blessed, they return and are absorbed in Him, may He be blessed, Who is necessarily existent — and then all the worlds dependent upon their souls are absorbed with them in the [state of] necessary existence. [Along the way I will inform the student of what appears to me, to the best of my humble understanding, in the explanation of these holy words: For in this matter of the inclusion of the worlds through the souls of Israel in necessary existence, he brings two reasons, each one interwoven and connected with the other. Reason 1: Since all the worlds are dependent and connected to the souls of Israel who rule over them — therefore when Israel does His will and are absorbed in Him Who is necessarily existent, then automatically the worlds that are dependent upon them are also absorbed in the necessarily existent. Reason 2: Since He created them for this purpose — so that Israel would do His will etc. — and now, since that purpose has been fulfilled, He is then as it were obligated to maintain them in their existence and to sustain and govern them. See in the words of Moharan"as z"l in the introduction to Likutay Part I, what he wrote there — and you, the student, must understand in his words that sometimes he brings two or three proofs for one point etc., and from the flow of the language it seems as if they are a single proof etc. — see there.] But to merit this — to be absorbed in one's root, that is, to return and be absorbed in the Unity of Hashem, may He be blessed, Who is necessarily existent — this cannot be merited except through bittul [self-nullification] — to completely nullify oneself until one is absorbed in His Unity, may He be blessed. And it is impossible to come to bittul except through hisbodidus [personal conversation with G-d in seclusion] — for through secluding oneself and pouring out one's conversation between oneself and one's Maker, one thereby merits to nullify all the desires and evil traits, until one merits to nullify all one's corporeality and be absorbed in one's root. But the essence of hisbodidus is at night — at the time when the world is free from the turbulence of this world — for during the day etc., and even if he himself is not preoccupied, even so, since the world is then preoccupied, this thereby makes it difficult then to arrive at bittul . And also it is necessary that the hisbodidus be in a designated place — outside the city, on an isolated path etc. — for in a place where people walk during the day who pursue this world, even though they are not walking there at this moment, this nonetheless also disturbs the hisbodidus , and one cannot nullify oneself and be absorbed in Him, may He be blessed. Therefore one must go alone at night on an isolated path in a place where there are no people — and there to walk and engage in hisbodidus , and clear one's heart and mind of all the affairs of this world and nullify all of it until one merits true bittul etc. etc. And then when one merits to true bittul , one's soul is absorbed in its root — that is, in Him, may He be blessed, Who is necessarily existent — and then the entire world is absorbed together with one's soul in its root, which is the necessarily existent — for everything depends on him, as mentioned. And thereby the entire world is made through him to be in the aspect of the necessarily existent.
## Segment 16
יב
אַחַר־כָּךְ עָנָה וְאָמַר לוֹ: זֶה פֵּרוּשׁ הַמִּשְׁנָה 'הַנֵּעוֹר בַּלַּיְלָה וְהַמְּהַלֵּךְ בַּדֶּרֶךְ יְחִידִי וּמְפַנֶּה לִבּוֹ (מִכָּל עִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה) לְבַטָּלָה (לִזְכּוֹת לְהַבִּטּוּל הַנַּ"ל), הֲרֵי זֶה מִתְחַיֵּב בְּנַפְשׁוֹ' שֶׁנִּתְהַוָּה וְנַעֲשָׂה מְחֻיַּב הַמְּצִיאוּת עִם כָּל הָעוֹלָמוֹת הַתְּלוּיִים בְּנַפְשׁוֹ. וּמֵעֹצֶם מְתִיקוּת הַרְגָּשַׁת מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בִּדְבָרָיו הַנְּעִימִים הָאֵלֶּה נִתְבַּטֵּל מִגַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ מֵחֲמַת זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ (וְהָעִקָּר נִרְאֶה לַעֲנִיּוּת דַּעְתִּי שֶׁמֵּעֹצֶם הָאִתְעָרוּתָא דִּלְתַתָּא שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ מִקֹּדֶם לָזֶה, עַל־יְדֵי זֶה הֵאִיר וְהִמְשִׁיךְ עָלָיו אַדְמוֹ"ר בְּקוֹל דְּבָרוֹ שֶׁבְּהַמַּאֲמָר הַזֶּה בְּעַצְמוֹ הִמְשִׁיךְ עָלָיו הַהִתְבַּטְּלוּת וְהַכְּלָלִיּוּת בְּאַחְדוּתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְכַמּוּבָן בְּסִפְרֵי אֱמֶת לְעִנְיַן פָּרָשַׁת הַקָּרְבָּנוֹת וְהַקְּטֹרֶת, שֶׁכָּל הַתִּקּוּנִים שֶׁנִּתְהַוָּה עַל־יְדֵי הַמַּעֲשֶׂה בְּפֹעַל שֶׁהָיָה בִּזְמַן שֶׁבֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ קַיָּם, נִתְהַוִּים וְנִמְשָׁכִים עַכְשָׁו עַל־יְדֵי הָאֲמִירָה וְהַדִּבּוּר לְבַד. וְכֵן בְּעִנְיָן זֶה כָּל הַתִּקּוּנִים שֶׁנִּתְהַוּוּ עַל־יְדֵי הַמַּעֲשֶׂה וְהַקִּיּוּם שֶׁל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל (אֲשֶׁר הוּא בְּעַצְמוֹ עָשָׂה וְקִיֵּם כְּכָל הַנַּ"ל בְּכִפְלֵי כִּפְלַיִם. בְּיֶתֶר שְׂאֵת וְיֶתֶר עֹז עַד שֶׁזָּכָה לְהִתְבַּטְּלוּת וְהַדְּבֵקוּת בְּיִחוּדוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּתַכְלִית הַשְּׁלֵמוּת שֶׁאֵין שְׁלֵמוּת אַחֲרָיו) הִמְשִׁיךְ אוֹתָם עַכְשָׁו עַל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל עַל־יְדֵי אֲמִירָתוֹ וְדִבּוּרוֹ שֶׁל הַהִתְגַּלּוּת הַזֶּה לְבַד, עַד שֶׁהֵבִיא אוֹתוֹ לְהַהִתְבַּטְּלוּת מִגַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ הַזֹּאת), וַיִּזְעַק בְּקוֹלוֹ וַיֹּאמֶר אֲהָהּ! (גִּיוַואלְד) אָרוּצָה נָא בַּשְּׁוָקִים וּבָרְחוֹבוֹת וְאֶצְעַק אֲהָהּ! מַה הֵם חוֹשְׁבִים לְנַפְשָׁם!. וּמִגֹּדֶל תַּבְעֵרַת לְבָבוֹ עַד שֶׁמַּמָּשׁ יָצָא מִגֶּדֶר אֱנוֹשִׁי רָצָה בֶּאֱמֶת לָרוּץ וְלִצְעֹק כַּנַּ"ל. וּמִיָּד חָטַף אוֹתוֹ אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בְּבִגְדוֹ וְעָנָה וְאָמַר לוֹ עֲמֹד! כִּי לֹא תִּפְעַל כְּלָל (שְׁטֵיא! דִּי וֶועסְט
נִישְׁט פּוֹעְלִין):
Siman 12. יב Admoyr Interprets the Mishna; Moharan"as Cries Out in Holy Rapture. Afterwards he answered and said to him: "This is the explanation of the Mishna: 'One who awakens at night, and one who walks alone on a path, and empties his heart [from all the affairs of this world] — to waste [that is, to merit the aforementioned bittul] — is deserving of death'" — meaning: he comes to be in the aspect of necessarily existent, together with all the worlds that depend upon his soul. And from the immense sweetness of Moharan"as z"l's sensation of these pleasant words, he was transported out of his corporeality by this very thing itself. [And the essential point appears to me, to my humble understanding, to be that through the immense awakening from below that he had engaged in before this — through this, Admoyr shone upon him and drew down upon him through the very words of this utterance itself the bittul and the absorption in His Unity, may He be blessed. And as is understood from the books of truth regarding the portion of the sacrifices and the incense — that all the rectifications that were achieved through the actual deed in the time when the Temple stood are now achieved and drawn down through the saying and the speaking alone. And so in this matter — all the rectifications that were achieved through the deeds and fulfillment of Admoyr z"l [who himself did and fulfilled all of the above in fold upon fold, with exceeding greatness and exceeding might, until he merited to bittul and adhesion to His Unity, may He be blessed, to the ultimate degree of perfection beyond which there is no perfection] — he now drew down upon Moharan"as z"l through the saying and the speaking of this revelation alone, until he brought him to this transport out of his corporeality.] And he [ Moharan"as ] cried out in his voice and said: "Ahah!" [Givald!] "Let me run through the marketplaces and streets and cry out: 'Ahah! What are they thinking to themselves!'" And from the greatness of the blazing of his heart — to the point that he was literally taken beyond human bounds — he truly wanted to run and cry out as mentioned. And immediately Admoyr z"l seized him by his garment and answered and said to him: "Stop! For you will achieve nothing!" [ Shtay! Di vest nisht po'alin! ]
## Segment 17
יג
אַחַר־כָּךְ קִבֵּל רְשׁוּת מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְנָסַע לְבֵיתוֹ לְבַארְדִּיטְשׁוֹב עֲבוּר קְנִיַּת הַסְּחוֹרָה. וְנַפְשׁוֹ נָקְטָה בְּחַיָּיו מֵרֹב מְרִירוּת לְבָבוֹ עַל שֶׁמְּבַטֵּל עַצְמוֹ קְצָת מֵעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ. עַל כֵּן מִיָּד בְּשׁוּבוֹ מִשָּׁם עִם הַסְּחוֹרָה לְנֶעמְרוֹב, עַד שֶׁלֹּא הִסְפִּיק לְפָרֵשׁ וּלְהוֹדִיעַ לְזוּגָתוֹ הַמִּקָּח מִכָּל מִין וָמִין הָלַךְ בִּמְרוּצָה לְהַבֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ לָשׁוּב לַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְהִיא הָיְתָה בַּת אַב בֵּית דִּין רַבִּי דָּוִד צְבִי זַ"ל וּמִיָּמֶיהָ לֹא נִסְּתָה כְּלָל אֲפִלּוּ לֵישֵׁב בַּחֲנוּת כָּל הַיּוֹם, וּמִכָּל שֶׁכֵּן לֵידַע מֵרְשִׁימַת הַצֶּעטְלִיךְ כָּל פְּרָטֵי מִקַּח הַסְּחוֹרָה, בְּוַדַּאי לֹא הָיָה בְּאֶפְשָׁרוּתָהּ. וּכְשֶׁנִּכְנַס אֶצְלָהּ אֵיזֶה קוֹנֶה, הֻכְרְחָה לָרוּץ אֵלָיו אֶל הַבֵּית מִדְרָשׁ לִשְׁאֹל מֵאִתּוֹ עַל הַמִּקָּח. עַד שֶׁרָאוּ כָּל בְּנֵי בֵּיתוֹ שֶׁגַּם זֶה אֵינוֹ עֵצָה טוֹבָה, וּמָחֲלוּ לוֹ גַּם עַל זֶה וְהִשְׁתַּדְּלוּ אַחַר־כָּךְ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה גַּם קְנִיַּת הַסְּחוֹרָה עַל־יְדֵי אִישׁ אַחֵר. וְזוּגָתוֹ קִבְּלָה עַל עַצְמָהּ כָּל טִרְדַּת הַחֲנוּת מִבֹּקֶר וְעַד
עֶרֶב:
Siman 13. יג He Departs for Berditchev; His Wife Manages the Store; She Takes Over All of It. Afterwards he took leave of Admoyr z"l and traveled home to Berditchev for the purchase of merchandise. And his soul was disgusted with his life from the abundance of his heart's bitterness over the fact that he was suspending himself somewhat from his divine service. Therefore immediately upon his return from there with the merchandise to Nemirov — before he had even managed to lay out and inform his wife of the price of each and every item — he ran to the study-hall to return to his service of Hashem, may He be blessed. And she [his wife] was the daughter of the Av Bais Din, Reb Dovid Tzvi z"l — and in all her days she had never so much as tried to sit in the store all day, and all the more so to know from the itemized account-slips all the details of the price of the merchandise. Certainly she was not able to. And when a buyer would come to her, she was compelled to run to him at the study-hall to ask him about the price. Until all the members of his household saw that this arrangement too was not a good one — and they forgave him for this as well, and took pains afterwards that the buying of merchandise too should be done through another person. And his wife accepted upon herself all the burden of the store from morning until evening.
## Segment 18
יד
וּבִרְבוֹת הָעִתִּים וְהַיָּמִים נִתְמַעֵט אֶצְלוֹ הַרְבֵּה מֵהַמָּעוֹת שֶׁלּוֹ, כִּי רֶוַח הַחֲנוּת הָיָה מֻעָט מְאֹד, וְגַם כְּבָר הָיָה נִזּוֹן עַל שֻׁלְחָנוֹ עוֹד מִימֵי הַקַּיִץ הַנַּ"ל, וְזוּגָתוֹ כְּבָר הֻרְגְּלָה לְהִתְנַהֵג כְּדֶרֶךְ הָעֲשִׁירִים, וּכְמוֹ שֶׁרָאֲתָה מֵעוֹדָהּ בְּבֵית אָבִיהָ וְחוֹתְנָהּ, וּמֵחֲמַת כָּל זֶה נֶחְסַר אֶצְלוֹ הַרְבֵּה מְאֹד מֵהַמָּמוֹן שֶׁלּוֹ. וְהִיא הִתְחִילָה מֵחָדָשׁ לְהַרְבּוֹת דְּבָרֶיהָ כְּנֶגְדּוֹ עַל שֶׁפָּנָה אֶת עָרְפּוֹ כָּל־כָּךְ מֵעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה, וְהוּא כְּנֶגֶד זֶה הִתְחִיל מֵחָדָשׁ לֶאֱטֹם אָזְנוֹ מִדְּבָרֶיהָ כַּנַּ"ל. פַּעַם אַחַת בָּא לְבֵיתוֹ קֹדֶם סְעֻדַּת הָעֶרֶב, וְהֶעְתִּירָה עָלָיו בִּדְבָרֶיהָ עַד שֶׁנֶּחֱלַשׁ דַּעְתּוֹ מְאֹד, כִּי הִרְבְּתָה לְסַפֵּר לוֹ מֵעֹצֶם דָּחֳקָהּ שֶׁכְּבָר הִיא חַיֶּבֶת קְצָת מָמוֹן לַאֲחֵרִים בְּעַד צָרְכֵי הַבַּיִת כִּי רֶוַח הַחֲנוּת מֻעָט מְאֹד וְהַהוֹצָאָה מְרֻבָּה כַּנַּ"ל, עַד שֶׁנִּתְמַרְמֵר מְאֹד מִדְּבָרֶיהָ וְנִכְנַס בְּכֹבֶד רֹאשׁ לְחֶדֶר אַחֵר וַיֵּשֶׁב שָׁם. וְעָנָה וְאָמַר רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם הֲלֹא קֹדֶם שֶׁנַּעֲשִׂין אִישׁ כָּשֵׁר בֶּאֱמֶת מֻכְרָח הַדָּבָר לְהִתְמַהְמֵהַּ הַרְבֵּה, לְעֵת עַתָּה תֵּן לִי פַּרְנָסָה. וְסִפֵּר שֶׁאָז נִתְקַיֵּם אֶצְלוֹ מַה שֶּׁכָּתוּב "וְהָיָה טֶרֶם יִקְרָאוּ וַאֲנִי אֶעֱנֶה" כִּי עוֹד טֶרֶם דִּבֵּר אֶת הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה, הִקְדִּים הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ רְפוּאָה לְמַכָּתוֹ וְהִזְמִין לוֹ מָקוֹם לְהִתְפַּרְנֵס בְּלִי שׁוּם עֵסֶק. כִּי בְּשָׁעָה זֹאת נִתְוַעֵד אָבִיו עִם שֻׁתָּפֵי הַחֲנוּת אֲשֶׁר לוֹ וּבְחֶמְלַת ה' נִכְמְרוּ רַחֲמֵיהֶם מְאֹד עַל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל. וְהִרְבּוּ לְהוֹכִיחַ אֶת אָבִיו עַל שֶׁפָּנָה אֶת עָרְפּוֹ מִבֵּן יָקָר וְנֶחְמָד כָּזֶה. וְהוּא תֵּרֵץ אֶת עַצְמוֹ וְאָמַר מַה לִּי לַעֲשׂוֹת? הֲלֹא כְּבָר הֶחֱזַקְתִּיו עַל שֻׁלְחָנִי כַּמָּה שָׁנִים. וּכְבָר עָזַרְתִּי לוֹ קְצָת בִּמְעוֹתַי גַּם אַחַר־כָּךְ! וּמָה אֵפוֹא אֶעֱשֶׂה לוֹ יוֹתֵר, אַחֲרֵי אֲשֶׁר יֵשׁ לִי עוֹד בָּנִים קְטַנִּים הַמֻּטָּלִים עָלַי, וְעוֹד כַּיּוֹצֵא בַּדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה. וְנָתְנוּ לוֹ הַשֻּׁתָּפִים עֵצָה שֶׁיִּקַּח אֶת כָּל שְׁאֵרִית הַסְּחוֹרָה שֶׁבַּחֲנוּת שֶׁל מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל וְיַאֲמִיד אוֹתָהּ בְּשָׁוְיָהּ, וִישַׁתֵּף אוֹתָהּ בְּתוֹךְ סְחוֹרוֹתֵיהֶם אֲשֶׁר בַּחֲנוּת הַמְשֻׁתֶּפֶת שֶׁהָיָה לָהֶם בְּאַדֶעס, וּמִמַּה שֶּׁיַּעֲלֶה חֵלֶק הָרֶוַח מִמְּעוֹתָיו חוּץ מַה שֶּׁיְּוַתֵּר קְצָת נֶגְדּוֹ יִהְיֶה לוֹ מִמַּה לְּהִתְפַּרְנֵס. וּמִיָּד שָׁלַח אָבִיו לִקְרֹא לוֹ לְהוֹדִיעוֹ מִזֶּה. וְכֵן עָשָׂה. וְנִשְׁתַּהָה הַדָּבָר אֵיזֶה שָׁנִים עַד אַחַר
הִסְתַּלְּקוּת אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל שֶׁהִתְפַּרְנֵס מִזֶּה בְּכָבוֹד:
Siman 14. יד His Money Dwindles; His Wife Complains; He Prays and G-d Answers. And as time and days multiplied, his money greatly diminished — for the store's profit was very meager, and furthermore he had already been sustained at his father's table from the aforementioned summer, and his wife had become accustomed to conducting herself in the manner of the wealthy — as she had seen throughout her life in her father's and father-in-law's home. And on account of all this he became greatly deficient in his money. And she began anew to multiply her words against him — that he had turned his back so completely from the affairs of this world. And he, in response, began anew to stop up his ear from her words, as mentioned. One time he came home before the evening meal — and she pressed upon him with her words to the point that his mind greatly weakened — for she had multiplied her account of the severity of her hardship: that she was already indebted somewhat to others for household needs, since the store's profit was very small and the expenses were great, as mentioned. Until he became very embittered from her words, and went with heaviness of heart into another room and sat there. And he answered and said: "Master of the World! Surely before one becomes a true, proper person it is necessary to wait a very long time — for the present, give me a livelihood." And he related that then there was fulfilled in him what is written: "And it shall be that before they call, I will answer" [Yeshayahu 65:24] — for even before he finished speaking these words, Hashem, may He be blessed, had already preceded the cure to the blow and arranged for him a means to be sustained in livelihood without any business dealings. For at that very hour, his father met with the partners of the store that was his — and by the compassion of Hashem, their hearts were greatly stirred with mercy for Moharan"as z"l. And they multiplied their rebuke of his father for having turned his back from such a precious and beloved son. And his father justified himself, saying: "What can I do? Have I not already sustained him at my table for many years — and helped him somewhat with my money afterwards as well? And what more can I do for him, when I have additional small children who depend on me?" — and other words in this vein. And the partners gave his father advice: to take all the remaining merchandise in Moharan"as's store and assess it at its value, and to include it within their merchandise in the jointly-held store they had in Odessa — and from whatever profit-share would accrue from his money, beyond what he would forgo somewhat in his favor, he would have from which to sustain himself. And immediately his father sent to call him to inform him of this. And so it was done. And the matter lasted some years until after the passing [ histaalkus ] of Admoyr z"l — and he was sustained from this with dignity.
## Segment 19
טו
וְאַחַר אֵיזֶה שָׁנִים הִתְחִיל גַּם אָבִיו לְהִתְדַּלְדֵּל מְאֹד, וּמִמֵּילָא הִגִּיעַ מִזֶּה הֶזֵּק גָּדוֹל לְמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל, וְעִם כָּל זֹאת לֹא נִצְרַךְ לַבְּרִיּוֹת עַד שְׁמוֹנֶה שָׁנִים אַחַר הִסְתַּלְּקוּת אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עַד שֶׁיָּרַד מִנְּכָסָיו לְגַמְרֵי, עַד שֶׁמָּכַר גַּם כָּל הַכֵּלִים הַיְקָרִים שֶׁנִּשְׁאֲרוּ אֶצְלוֹ מִימֵי עָשְׁרוֹ. וְאָמַר שֶׁפַּעַם הָרִאשׁוֹן שֶׁהִתְחִיל לֶאֱכֹל בְּכַף שֶׁל עֵץ חָלְפוּ וְעָבְרוּ כַּמָּה שָׁבוּעוֹת שֶׁלֹּא הִרְגִּישׁ שׁוּם טַעַם בַּאֲכִילָתוֹ. וּבֵין בַּעֲנִיּוּתוֹ בֵּין בַּעֲשִׁירוּתוֹ עָסַק יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה, וְעָסַק בְּשִׂיחוֹתָיו הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת לְעוֹרֵר גַּם
אֲחֵרִים לַעֲבוֹדַת ה' כַּאֲשֶׁר פָּקַד עָלָיו אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל.
Siman 15. טו His Father Becomes Poor; He Himself Falls into Poverty but Does Not Waver. And after some years, his father also began to become very impoverished — and this naturally caused great harm to Moharan"as z"l. And even so, he did not need to depend upon people for eight years after the passing [ histaalkus ] of Admoyr z"l — until he lost all his property entirely, to the point that he sold even all the fine vessels that had remained with him from the days of his wealth. And he said that the first time he began to eat with a wooden spoon, several weeks passed in which he felt no taste in his eating whatsoever. And both in his poverty and in his wealth, he engaged day and night in Torah and prayer — and engaged in his holy conversations to arouse others as well to the service of G-d, as Admoyr z"l had charged him.
## Segment 20
טז
וְכָל הַנְהָגוֹתָיו וְכָל מַעֲשָׂיו הָיוּ בִּזְרִיזוּת וּבִמְהִירוּת גָּדוֹל מְאֹד, כְּמוֹ הֲלִיכָתוֹ לַמִּקְוֶה. בְּכָל בֹּקֶר הָלַךְ וּפָשַׁט וְלָבַשׁ אֶת בְּגָדָיו בְּתַכְלִית הַמְּהִירוּת, עַד שֶׁכִּמְעַט לֹא הָיָה בְּאֶפְשָׁרוּת שׁוּם אָדָם לְהִשְׁתַּוּוֹת עִמּוֹ. וְכֵן בְּעֵת כְּתִיבָתוֹ הָיָה הַקֻּלְמוֹס פּוֹרַחַת מִתַּחַת יָדוֹ שֶׁהָיָה לְפֶלֶא בְּעֵינֵי כָּל רוֹאָיו. וְכֵן שְׁאָר מַעֲשָׂיו כֻּלָּם הָיוּ בִּמְהִירוּת גָּדוֹל וְנִפְלָא עַד מְאֹד. (וְגַם אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הִתְפַּלֵּא פַּעַם אַחַת עַל גֹּדֶל זְרִיזוּתוֹ וְאָמַר שֶׁבְּוַדַּאי יִזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת עַל־יְדֵי זֶה רוֹעֶה נֶאֱמָן. וְעַיֵּן "פַּרְפְּרָאוֹת לַחָכְמָה" עַל הַתּוֹרָה סוֹד כַּוָּנַת הַמִּילָה). וְגַם אָחַז תָּמִיד אֶת הַמּוֹרֶה שָׁעוֹת (הַשָּׁעוֹן) לְנֶגֶד עֵינוֹ, וְהָיָה שׁוֹמֵר אֶת כָּל שְׁעוֹתָיו וּרְגָעָיו בְּכָל מִינֵי שְׁמִירָה. כִּי גַּם בְּעֵת נְסִיעָתוֹ וִישִׁיבָתוֹ עַל הָעֲגָלָה הִרְבָּה לִלְמֹד וּלְהִתְפַּלֵּל וְלִצְעֹק לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בִּכְלוֹת הַנֶּפֶשׁ מַמָּשׁ, וְשׁוּם דָּבָר בָּעוֹלָם לֹא בִּלְבֵּל אֶת דַּעְתּוֹ לְבַטְּלוֹ מֵעֲבוֹדָתוֹ אֲפִלּוּ כְּרֶגַע. וּלְהַרְבּוֹת בִּשְׁבָחָיו יִקְצְרוּ הֲמוֹן יְרִיעוֹת. וְכַאֲשֶׁר הָיָה נוֹדָע לְכָל יוֹדְעָיו וּמַכִּירָיו אֲשֶׁר הִכִּירוּהוּ מֵעוֹדוֹ עַד יוֹם הִסְתַּלְּקוּתוֹ, שֶׁמִּיּוֹם הִתְקָרְבוּתוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל נִבְעַר לְבָבוֹ בְּתַבְעֵרַת עָצוּם וּמֻפְלָג אֲשֶׁר אֵין לְשַׁעֵר, וְזִכְרוֹן יוֹם הַמָּוֶת לֹא נִפְסַק מִמַּחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ אֲפִלּוּ כְּשָׁעָה קַלָּה. וּכְפִי עַמְקוּת רַעְיוֹנָיו אֲשֶׁר הֶעֱמִיק בִּמְהִירוּת פְּרִיחַת הַזְּמַן שֶׁל חַיֵּי הָאָדָם בְּזֶה הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁכְּאַיִן יֵחָשְׁבוּ נֶגֶד חַיֵּי הָעוֹלָם הַנִּצְחִי, וְגַם הֲלֹא בִּמְהִירַת פְּרִיחַת הַזְּמַן הַזֶּה מְסֻכָּן הָאָדָם בְּכָל רֶגַע וָרֶגַע, הָיָה נֶחְשָׁב בְּעֵינָיו כָּל הָעוֹסְקִים בְּהַבְלֵי הָעוֹלָם כִּמְשֻׁגָּע מַמָּשׁ. וְאֶת כָּל הָעֹשֶׁר וְהַכָּבוֹד שֶׁנִּתְגַּדֵּל בָּזֶה מִנְּעוּרָיו, מָאַס וְגָעַל וְשִׁקֵּץ, וְקִבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ כָּל מִינֵי בִּזְיוֹנוֹת וּרְדִיפוֹת אֲשֶׁר רְדָפוּהוּ אָבִיו וְאִשְׁתּוֹ וְכָל מִשְׁפַּחְתּוֹ. וְהִרְבָּה לִצְעֹק וּלְבַקֵּשׁ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיִּזְכֶּה לִהְיוֹת כִּרְצוֹנוֹ בְּכָל תַּעֲלוּמַת לְבָבוֹ עַד הַנְּקֻדָּה הַפְּנִימִית שֶׁבַּלֵּב, עַד אֲשֶׁר זָכָה גַּם הוּא לְמַעֲלָה מֻפְלֶגֶת וַעֲצוּמָה עַד מְאֹד וְהָאֵשׁ הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁל רוֹמְמוּת אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וּדְבָרָיו הַנּוֹרָאִים בָּעֲרָה בִּלְבָבוֹ כְּלַבַּת אֵשׁ מַמָּשׁ. וְלֹא לְחִנָּם הִרְעִישׁ עָלָיו הַשָּׂטָן אֶרֶץ וּמְלוֹאָהּ, כִּי גַּם הוּא הָיָה מֵשִׁיב כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּתְשׁוּבָה אִם לֹא הָיוּ נִתְרַחֲקִים
מֵאִתּוֹ וּמִדִּבּוּרָיו הַנּוֹרָאִים:
Siman 16. טז His Extraordinary Swiftness and Alacrity; His Every Moment Was Sacred. And all his conduct and all his actions were with very great alacrity and swiftness — such as his going to the mikveh . Every morning he went, undressed and dressed again with the utmost swiftness — to the point that nearly no person was able to equal him in this. And likewise in the time of his writing, the quill flew under his hand in a manner that was wondrous in the eyes of all who saw him. And so all his other actions — all were done with great and wondrous swiftness to an extraordinary degree. [And Admoyr z"l marveled once at the greatness of his alacrity and said that certainly he would merit through this to become a ro'eh ne'eman [a faithful shepherd]. See Parparaos LaChochmo on the Torah portion Sod Kavanas HaMilah .] He also always kept a timepiece [watch] before his eyes, and guarded all his hours and moments with every manner of guarding. For even at the time of his travels while sitting on the wagon, he multiplied his study and prayer and crying out to Hashem, may He be blessed, with literal utter self-expenditure — and nothing in the world confused his mind to interrupt him from his divine service even for a moment. And to multiply his praises — multitudes of sheets would fall short. As was well known to all his acquaintances and those who knew him — who knew him from his earliest days until the day of his passing — that from the day of his drawing-close to Admoyr z"tl, his heart blazed with an immense and extraordinary fire beyond all measure. And the remembrance of the day of death never ceased from his thoughts for even a brief hour. And according to the depth of his reflections — in which he deeply contemplated the swift passage of the time of a person's life in this world, which are as nothing compared to the life of the eternal world — and furthermore: in the swiftness of the passage of this time, a person is in danger at every moment — all those who busy themselves with the vanities of the world appeared in his eyes as literally insane. And all the wealth and honor in which he had been raised from his youth — he despised and loathed and abhorred. And he accepted upon himself every manner of disgrace and persecution with which his father and his wife and all his family persecuted him. And he multiplied his crying out and his beseeching from Hashem, may He be blessed, that he merit to be as His will desires — in every hidden thing of his heart — down to the innermost point within the heart. Until he too merited to a very elevated and immense level — and the holy fire of the loftiness of Admoyr z"l and his awesome words blazed in his heart like a literal flame of fire. And not for naught did the Soton [Adversary] shake heaven and earth against him — for he too would have returned all of Israel to teshuvah [repentance], had they not been distanced from him and from his awesome words. — Translator's Note: Summary of Part I, Sections א–טז — These sixteen sections constitute the biographical account of Reb Nosson of Breslov (Moharan"as) z"l — the holy disciple who transcribed and disseminated the entire Torah of Rebbe Nachman. They span from his birth in 5540 (1780 C.E.) in Nemirov, through his privileged upbringing in the home of a wealthy Torah scholar, to his transformative first encounters with the Rebbe in Breslov. The central drama is the fierce battle fought on every front to prevent his drawing-close to the Rebbe: his father's opposition, his father-in-law's opposition (both were misnagdim ), his wife's tearful protests, financial pressure, family arguments — all arrayed against his burning, unquenchable heart. The account reveals how providentially each obstacle was overcome: his father-in-law's delayed journey keeping him in Nemirov just as the Rebbe settled nearby in Breslov; his father's absence allowing a first free trip; business partners eventually arranging dignified income. The spiritual core is the Rebbe's revolutionary counsel to practice hisbodidus — personal, spontaneous, private conversation with G-d in one's own language, like speaking to a "true good friend." Reb Nosson immediately took this to heart, going out into the fields at night, alone, to pour out his heart to the Creator. The account of the great Torah teaching the Rebbe revealed (from Likutay Moharan Part I, section 52) — on necessary and possible existence, and the role of Israel's souls — is told here with the remarkable detail of Reb Nosson's response: transported beyond himself, he cried out to run through the streets and awaken the world — and the Rebbe gently restrained him. The closing portrait of Reb Nosson (section 16) is a masterpiece of hagiography: his extraordinary physical swiftness, his pen flying like flight, his watch always before him, his remembrance of death never leaving him — all lit by the "holy fire" of the Rebbe that blazed in his heart until the last day of his life.
## Segment 21
יז
וְעַתָּה הִנְנִי לְהַעְתִּיק גַּם קְצָת סִפּוּרִים מִשְּׁאָר אַנְשֵׁי אַדְמוֹ"ר:
Siman 17. יז Reb Shimon z"l — Merchant and Master of Hisbodidus. And now I will proceed to transcribe also some stories from the other men of Admoyr : Reb Shimon z"l was a man who engaged in commerce — yet even so he multiplied greatly, in the midst of this, his engagement in the divine service of Hashem, may He be blessed. He also multiplied greatly in hisbodidus [personal conversation with G-d] and in speaking out his heart between himself and his Maker, out in the open fields — sometimes by day and sometimes by night. And once he settled and established his residence at a certain inn [ kretchme ] that was close to the city, so that it would be easy for him to go at any time into the forest to engage in hisbodidus and to pour out his conversation there. And also upon his arrival in the Land of Israel, he chose for himself a certain place at the edge of the city adjacent to the field — in a place where people were not frequently found — and there he greatly multiplied his engagement in his divine service, and in particular in prayer and hisbodidus , day and night, until the time of his passing z"l.
## Segment 22
ר' שִׁמְעוֹן זַ"ל הָיָה אִישׁ עוֹסֵק בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן, וְאַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן הִרְבָּה מְאֹד בְּתוֹךְ זֶה לַעֲסֹק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְגַם הוּא הִרְבָּה מְאֹד בְּהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת וְשִׂיחָה בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין קוֹנוֹ עַל פְּנֵי הַשָּׂדֶה, לִפְעָמִים בַּיּוֹם וְלִפְעָמִים בַּלַּיְלָה. וּפַעַם אַחַת נִתְיַשֵּׁב וְקָבַע דִּירָתוֹ בְּאֵיזֶה קְרֶעטְשְׁמִי שֶׁהָיְתָה סְמוּכָה לָעִיר כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ בְּנָקֵל לֵילֵךְ בְּכָל עֵת לְהַיַּעַר לְהִתְבּוֹדֵד וּלְפָרֵשׁ שָׁם שִׂיחָתוֹ. וְגַם בְּבוֹאוֹ לְאֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל בָּחַר לוֹ שָׁם אֵיזֶה מָקוֹם בִּקְצֵה הָעִיר הַסָּמוּךְ לַשָּׂדֶה, בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁאֵין בְּנֵי אָדָם מְצוּיִים כָּל־כָּךְ, וְשָׁם הִרְבָּה לַעֲסֹק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ, וּבִפְרָט
בִּתְפִלָּה וְהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה עַד עֵת פְּטִירָתוֹ זַ"ל:
Siman 17 (continued). יז Reb Shimon z"l — Merchant and Master of Hisbodidus. And now I will proceed to transcribe also some stories from the other men of Admoyr : Reb Shimon z"l was a man who engaged in commerce — yet even so he multiplied greatly, in the midst of this, his engagement in the divine service of Hashem, may He be blessed. He also multiplied greatly in hisbodidus [personal conversation with G-d] and in speaking out his heart between himself and his Maker, out in the open fields — sometimes by day and sometimes by night. And once he settled and established his residence at a certain inn [ kretchme ] that was close to the city, so that it would be easy for him to go at any time into the forest to engage in hisbodidus and to pour out his conversation there. And also upon his arrival in the Land of Israel, he chose for himself a certain place at the edge of the city adjacent to the field — in a place where people were not frequently found — and there he greatly multiplied his engagement in his divine service, and in particular in prayer and hisbodidus , day and night, until the time of his passing z"l.
## Segment 23
יח
גַּם הָיָה עוֹסֵק לְחַדֵּשׁ בַּתּוֹרָה. וּפַעַם אַחַת נָסַע בְּיַחַד עִם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל וְרָאָה אָז אֶצְלוֹ הַכְּתָבִים שֶׁלּוֹ, וְהֵיטִיבוּ מְאֹד בְּעֵינֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל וּלְקָחָם בְּיָדוֹ, וְלֹא רָצָה עוֹד לְהַחֲזִירָם לוֹ כְּדֵי לְהַעְתִּיקָם וּלְהַדְפִּיסָם. וְעָשָׂה עַצְמוֹ ר' שִׁמְעוֹן כְּמַחֲרִישׁ וְלֹא עָנָהוּ דָּבָר רַק הִמְתִּין עַד בֹּאָם לְבֵית מָלוֹן. וְאָז הִבִּיט בְּכָל פַּעַם בְּעֵינָא פְּקִיחָא עַד שֶׁהִסִּיחַ דַּעְתּוֹ מֵהֶם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת
זַ"ל, וְחָטַף אוֹתָם פִּתְאֹם מֵאִתּוֹ וּזְרָקָם לְתוֹךְ הַתַּנּוּר וְנִשְׂרְפוּ:
Siman 18. יח Reb Shimon Burns His Own Torah Writings. He was also engaged in originating new Torah teachings. And once he traveled together with Moharan"as z"l — and [ Moharan"as ] then saw his [Reb Shimon's] writings, which found great favor in the eyes of Moharan"as z"l, and he [ Moharan"as ] took them in his hand and did not want to return them to him, wishing to copy and publish them. And Reb Shimon made himself as if silent, and did not answer him a word — only waited until they arrived at the inn [where they were lodging]. And there he watched with a sharp eye at every moment, until Moharan"as z"l's attention was diverted from them — and he suddenly snatched them from him and threw them into the oven, and they were burned.
## Segment 24
יט
ר' דֹּב מִטְּשֶׁערִין זַ"ל גַּם הוּא הָיָה אִישׁ עוֹסֵק בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן כָּל יָמָיו. וַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל פָּקַד עָלָיו לְהַפְרִישׁ חֹמֶשׁ מִכָּל אֲשֶׁר יַרְוִיחַ וּלְחַלְּקָם לַעֲנִיִּים וְכֵן עָשָׂה וְקִיֵּם כָּל יָמָיו. וְקֹדֶם פְּטִירָתוֹ עָנָה וְאָמַר מִיט מַיְין חֹמֶשׁ הָאבּ אִיךְ קֵיין מוֹרָא נִיט אֲפִלּוּ פַאר דֶּעם בֵּית דִּין שֶׁל מַעְלָה סֶע וֶועט מִיר נָאךְ אַרוֹיְס קוּמֶען (עִם הַחֹמֶשׁ שֶׁלִּי אֵינֶנִּי יָרֵא אֲפִלּוּ מֵהַבֵּית דִּין שֶׁל מַעְלָה זֶה עוֹד יֵצֵא (יַעֲזֹר) לִי). וְהוּא נִתְקָרֵב לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עוֹד שָׁנִים רַבּוֹת קֹדֶם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל, וְעַל־יָדוֹ נִתְקָרְבוּ גַּם רַבִּי יוּדְיל וְרַבִּי
שְׁמוּאֵל אַיְזִיק זַ"ל מִדַּאשִׁיב:
Siman 19. יט Reb Dov of Tsherin z"l — Chomesh: a Fifth of One’s Earnings to Charity. Reb Dov of Tsherin z"l — he too was a man who engaged in commerce all his days. And Admoyr z"l commanded him to separate a fifth (chomesh) [one-fifth] from all that he earned and to distribute it to the poor — and so he did and fulfilled throughout all his days. And before his passing he answered and said: "Mit mayn chomesh [with my fifth set aside for charity] hob ich kayn mora nit, afillu far dem Beis Din shel Ma'alo — s'vet mir noch aroys kumen." ("With my fifth (chomesh) set aside for charity I have no fear — not even before the Heavenly Court — it will yet come out [help me].") And he drew close to Admoyr z"l many years before Moharan"as z"l — and through him, Reb Yudel and Reb Shmuel Aizik z"l of Dashiv also drew close.
## Segment 25
כ
וּמַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁהָיָה כָּךְ הָיָה, כִּי בִּימֵי נְעוּרָיו יָשַׁב עַל שֻׁלְחַן חוֹתְנוֹ בָּעִיר דַּאשִׁיב, וְשָׁם קָנָה אַהֲבָה עִם רַבִּי יוּדְיל וְרַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל אַיְזִיק הַנַּ"ל. אַחַר־כָּךְ הִגִּיעַ הָעֵת שֶׁהֻצְרַךְ לָשׁוּב עִם זוּגָתוֹ עַל שֻׁלְחַן אָבִיו שֶׁיָּשַׁב בִּכְפָר הַסָּמוּךְ לְמֶעדְוֶודוּבְקָא. וְהִזְהִיר אוֹתוֹ רַבִּי יוּדְיל זַ"ל לְבַל יֵלֵךְ שָׁם לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל. וּמֵחֲמַת גֹּדֶל אַהֲבָתוֹ עִם רַבִּי יוּדְיל כַּנַּ"ל נִכְנְסוּ הַדְּבָרִים בְּלִבּוֹ וְנִתְרַחֵק
מֵחֲמַת זֶה מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בְּעֵת בֹּאוֹ לְשָׁם:
Siman 20. כ Reb Dov's Story — How He Almost Stayed Away from the Rebbe. And the story was thus: in his younger years he sat at his father-in-law's table in the city of Dashiv — and there he formed a bond of friendship with Reb Yudel and Reb Shmuel Aizik mentioned above. Afterwards the time arrived when he needed to return with his wife to his father's table, his father residing in a village near Medvedevka. And Reb Yudel z"l warned him not to go there to Admoyr z"l. And due to the greatness of his love with Reb Yudel as mentioned, the words entered his heart — and he distanced himself on account of this from Admoyr z"l upon his arrival there.
## Segment 26
כא
וַיְהִי כַּאֲשֶׁר אָרְכוּ לוֹ שָׁם הַיָּמִים, אִיתְרַמִי פַּעַם אַחַת שֶׁהִתְגַּבֵּר עָלָיו מְאֹד מָרָה שְׁחֹרָה וְצַעַר גָּדוֹל מֵאֵיזֶה יִסּוּרִים שֶׁעָבְרוּ אָז עָלָיו (כִּמְדֻמֶּה לִי שֶׁהַיִּסּוּרִים שֶׁלּוֹ הָיוּ בְּעִנְיָן בָּנִים, וְהוּא הָאֶחָד הַמּוּבָא בְּחַיֵּי מוֹהֲרַ"ן בְּהַשִּׂיחוֹת עֲבוֹדַת ה' בְּאוֹת ל"ו עַיֵּן מַה שֶׁכָּתוּב שָׁם שֶׁקֹּדֶם אֶרֶץ יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּקֵּשׁ אֶחָד מֵאִתּוֹ עַל הַבָּנִים וְכוּ' עַיֵּן שָׁם), וְנִתְקַיֵּם אָז אֶצְלוֹ מִקְרָא שֶׁכָּתוּב "בַּצַּר לְךָ וּמְצָאוּךָ וְכוּ' וְשַׁבְתָּ וְכוּ'". כִּי עַל־יְדֵי זֶה נִכְנַס לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְהִכִּיר אֶת אֲמִתָּתוֹ וַאֲמִתַּת דְּבָרָיו הַנּוֹרָאִים. וּמֵאָז וָהָלְאָה הִתְחִיל לַעֲסֹק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּהִתְעוֹרְרוּת וּבְיִרְאָה גְּדוֹלָה וְנִפְלָאָה, וְגַם בְּצִמְצוּם נִפְלָא כְּפִי פְּקֻדָּתוֹ זַ"ל, כְּפִי אֲשֶׁר יָדַע בְּמַהוּת נַפְשׁוֹ שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לְהִשָּׁמֵר בְּיוֹתֵר מֵרִבּוּי אוֹר לְבַל יִגְרֹם לְגַמְרֵי כִּבּוּי הַנֵּר. וְיֵשׁ בָּזֶה כַּמָּה דִּבּוּרִים וְאֵינִי רוֹצֶה לְהַאֲרִיךְ (כִּי מֵאַהֲבַת הַקִּצּוּר דִּלַּגְתִּי הַרְבֵּה דְּבָרִים גַּם בִּשְׁאָר הַסִּפּוּרִים שֶׁבַּחֵלֶק הַזֶּה כַּנּוֹדָע לְהַבָּקִי בָּהֶם). וְאַחַר אֵיזֶה זְמַן סִבֵּב הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁנִּצְרַךְ שֵׁנִית לִנְסֹעַ לְבֵית חוֹתְנוֹ בְדַאשִׁיב עִם זוּגָתוֹ, וְשָׁאַל אֶת אַדְמוֹ"ר אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג מֵעַתָּה עִם רַבִּי יוּדְיל. וְהִזְהִיר אוֹתוֹ לְבַל יֹאבֶה וְיִשְׁמַע אֵלָיו כְּלָל אִם יַקְפִּיד עָלָיו
חַס וְשָׁלוֹם מֵחֲמַת זֶה:
אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק:
ר' דֹּב הַנַּ"ל הָיָה רוֹצֶה לָקוּם בַּחֲצוֹת וְהָיָה מְצַוֶּה לְנָכְרִי לְהָקִיץ אוֹתוֹ, וּכְשֶׁהֱקִיצוֹ הַנָּכְרִי וְהָלַךְ לוֹ שׁוּב הָיָה יָשֵׁן. וְרָאָה כִּי זֹאת אֵינוֹ עֵצָה, עַל כֵּן נִתְיַשֵּׁב בְּדַעְתּוֹ וְצִוָּה לְהַנָּכְרִי שֶׁלֹּא יֵלֵךְ מִמֶּנּוּ עַד שֶׁיָּקוּם מִמִּטָּתוֹ וְיִלְבֹּשׁ אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּמַלְבּוּשׁוֹ, וְכֵן עָשָׂה. וּמֵחֲמַת זֶה נִתְבַּלְבֵּל קְצָת וְהָיָה לוֹ כְּאֵב רֹאשׁ וְהָיָה לוֹ יִסּוּרִים גְּדוֹלִים מַמָּשׁ שֶׁכִּמְעַט שֶׁיָצָא מִדַּעְתּוֹ. וְאַחַר־כָּךְ כְּשֶׁנִּתְקָרֵב לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל הִתְנַצְּלָה אִמּוֹ לִפְנֵי רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה עָלָיו עַל שֶׁנִּתְבַּלְבֵּל מִמִּעוּט הַשֵּׁנָה, וְאָמַר לוֹ רַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל: שְׁלָאף אוּן עֶס נָאר הִיט דִּי צַיְיט (תִּישַׁן וְתֹאכַל רַק תִּשְׁמֹר אֶת הַזְּמַן), וּלְאַחַר זְמַן תָּבֹא עוֹד הַפַּעַם אֵלַי וְתִשְׁאַל מִמֶּנִּי אֵיךְ לְהִתְנַהֵג (וְכֵן הָיָה). וְאָמַר לוֹ אָז שֶׁיָּקוּם בְּכָל לַיְלָה בְּשָׁעָה שָׁלֹשׁ, וְאָמַר לוֹ בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: דַיְין חֲצוֹת וֶועט זַיְין דְּרַיי אַזֵּייגֶער (זְמַן חֲצוֹת שֶׁלְךָ יִהְיֶה בְּשָׁעָה שָׁלֹשׁ), וְכֵן הֲוָה, וְהָיוּ אַנְשֵׁי הַבֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ שֶׁהָיוּ נֵעוֹרִים יוֹדְעִים כְּשֶׁר'
בֶּער הוֹלֵךְ אָז הִיא שָׁעָה שָׁלֹשׁ.
רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה אָמַר עָלָיו שֶׁהוּא יָרֵא כָּל־כָּךְ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כְּמוֹ שֶׁמַּנִּיחִים אֵצֶל הָרוּסִישֶׁען צוּ שְׁמַיְיסִין (כְּמוֹ שֶׁמַּנִיחִים אֵצֶל הָרוּסִים לְהַלְקוֹת). וְזֶה ר' דֹּב לָקַח אֶת הָרַב ר' אַבְרָהָם דֹּב זַ"ל נֶכֶד רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה לְחָתָן אַחַר שֶׁגֵּרֵשׁ אֶת בַּת מֹשֶׁה חִינְקֶס וְנָתַן לוֹ עֲשֶׂרֶת אֲלָפִים רוּבָּל כֶּסֶף נָדָן; וְרַבִּי מֹשֶׁה בְּרֶסְלֶבֶר אַחַר הִסְתַּלְּקוּת מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל הָיָה רָגִיל לֵילֵךְ לְרַבִּי אַבְרָהָם דֹּב לְדַבֵּר מִמּוֹהַרְנַ"ת זַ"ל. וּפַעַם אַחַת בָּא וְלֹא מְצָאוֹ, וְרָצָה לֵילֵךְ, אָמַר לוֹ ר' בֶּער הַנַּ"ל תְּדַבֵּר אִתִּי, עָנָה וְאָמַר לוֹ: אַתֶּם מִתַּלְמִידֵי רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה וְכִי אֲנִי יוֹדֵעַ לְדַבֵּר אִתְּכֶם, אָמַר לוֹ רַבִּי בֶּער הַנַּ"ל תַּאֲמִין לִי שֶׁאַתֶּם יוֹדְעִים מֵרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל עַל־יְדֵי מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל, יוֹתֵר מִמַּה
שֶּׁאֲנַחְנוּ יוֹדְעִים מֵרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל עַל־יְדֵי רַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל בְּעַצְמוֹ.
Siman 21. כא Reb Dov's Trials Bring Him to the Rebbe; His Son Wakes the Town; the Rebbe's Counsel. And it came to pass that as the days there lengthened for him, it happened once that a very great melancholy and distress overtook him from certain sufferings that were then upon him. [It seems to me that his sufferings were regarding the matter of children — and he is the one mentioned in Chayay Moharan , in the conversations on the service of Hashem, section 36 — see what is written there: that before [the journey to] the Land of Israel, someone besought him regarding children, etc. — see there.] And there was fulfilled in him the verse written: "In your distress, when these things befall you… you will return, etc." [ Devarim 4:30 ]. For through this he entered before Admoyr z"l, and recognized the truth of him and the truth of his awesome words. And from then onward he began to engage in his divine service with great and wondrous awakening and awe — and also with a wondrous constriction [ tzimtzum ] according to his command z"l — for he knew in his soul's nature that he needed to guard himself especially from an excess of light, lest it cause an utter extinguishing of the lamp. And there is much that could be said about this, and I do not wish to expand upon it. [For out of love of brevity I have skipped over many things in the other stories of this section as well, as is known to those who are expert in them.] And after some time Hashem, may He be blessed, arranged that he needed once again to travel to his father-in-law's house in Dashiv with his wife — and he asked Admoyr how he should conduct himself from now on with Reb Yudel. And he warned him not to comply with or listen to him at all, if he should show displeasure with him on this account, G-d forbid. The Compiler says: Reb Dov mentioned above wanted to rise at midnight, and would command a gentile to wake him — but when the gentile woke him and went away, he would fall back asleep. He saw that this was no good counsel — so he settled in his mind and commanded the gentile not to go away from him until he had risen from his bed and dressed himself in his clothing. And so he did. And on account of this he became somewhat confused and had headaches and suffered very greatly — to the point that he nearly lost his mind. Afterwards when he drew close to Admoyr z"tl, his mother went before our master [Rebbe] z"l to apologize on his behalf for having become confused from lack of sleep. And our master z"tl said to him: "Shlof un es, nor hit di tzayt." ("Sleep and eat — only guard your time.") "And after some time you will come to me again and ask me how to conduct yourself" — and so it was. And he then told him to rise every night at three o'clock, and said to him in this language: "Dayn chatzos vet zayn dray azeiger." ("Your chatzos [midnight devotions] will be at three o'clock.") And so it was — and the men of the study-hall who were awake knew that when Reb Ber [Dov] was walking it was three o'clock. The Compiler adds: Our master [Rebbe] z"l said of him that he feared Hashem so greatly — "vi vos me leigt bay di Rusishen tzu shmaysin" ("like one laid before Russians to be flogged"). And this Reb Dov took the Rav Reb Avrohom Dov z"l, the grandson of our master [Rebbe] z"l, as his son-in-law after having divorced the daughter of Moshe Hinkes — and gave him ten thousand silver rubles as a dowry [ nadan ]. And Reb Moshe of Breslov, after the passing [ histaalkus ] of Moharan"as z"l, would regularly go to Reb Avrohom Dov to speak of Moharan"as z"l. And once he came and did not find him, and wanted to leave — Reb Ber [Dov] said to him: "Speak with me." He answered and said to him: "You are from the disciples of our master [Rebbe] z"l — do I know how to speak with you?" Reb Ber said to him: "Believe me, you know of our master z"l through Moharan"as z"l — more than we know of our master z"l through our master z"tl himself."
## Segment 27
כב
וַיְהִי כַּאֲשֶׁר בָּא לְשָׁם וְנִתְוַדַּע תֵּיכֶף וּמִיָּד לְרַבִּי יוּדְיל שֶׁכְּבָר נִתְקָרֵב בִּהְיוֹתוֹ שָׁם לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וּמֵחֲמַת שֶׁגַּם לְבָבוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי יוּדְיל זַ"ל נִכְסַף מְאֹד אֶל הָאֱמֶת לֹא הִקְפִּיד עָלָיו חַס וְשָׁלוֹם בַּעֲבוּר זֶה, כִּי הִבִּיט וְרָאָה אֶת רֹב הִתְחַדְּשׁוּתוֹ בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה שֶׁמִּקֹּדֶם לֹא רָאָה מֵאִתּוֹ כָּזֹאת. עַל כֵּן אַדְּרַבָּא הָלַךְ וּבִקֵּשׁ מֵאִתּוֹ שֶׁיְּסַפֵּר לוֹ אֵיזֶה סִפּוּרִים מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל. וְכֵן עָשָׂה עַד שֶׁנִּתְלַהֵב מְאֹד גַּם הוּא וַחֲבֵרוֹ רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל אַיְזִיק לִנְסֹעַ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וְאַף עַל פִּי שֶׁלֹּא הָיָה לָהֶם עַל הוֹצָאוֹת לִנְסִיעָה רַבָּה כָּזוֹ, כִּי מִדַּאשִׁיב עַד מֶעדְוֶועדוּבְקָא בְּעֵרֶךְ מָאתַיִם מִיל (ווערסט), אֲבָל מִגֹּדֶל הִתְעוֹרְרוּתָם וְכָסְפָּם לָזֶה נִסְכַּם אֶצְלָם לֵילֵךְ לְשָׁם רַגְלִי. וְגַם בְּדֶרֶךְ הִלּוּכָם מִדֵּי עָבְרָם בָּעִיר טִירְהָאוִויצֶע בְּהַבֵּית מִדְרָשׁ שֶׁל הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל, עָשׂוּ גַּם שָׁם הִתְעוֹרְרוּת גָּדוֹל אֵצֶל כַּמָּה אֲנָשִׁים לִנְסֹעַ וּלְהִתְקָרֵב לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל:
Siman 22. כב Reb Yudel and Reb Shmuel Aizik Walk 200 Miles to Reach the Rebbe. And it came to pass that when [Reb Dov] came there [to Dashiv], he became known immediately to Reb Yudel — who had by then already drawn close to Admoyr z"l while he was there. And since the heart of Reb Yudel z"l also yearned greatly for the truth — he did not show displeasure at him [Reb Dov], G-d forbid, on account of this [that Reb Dov had drawn close to the Rebbe]. For he looked and saw the great extent of his renewal in Torah and prayer, of which he had seen nothing like from him previously. Therefore on the contrary — he went and asked him to tell him some stories about Admoyr z"l. And so he did — until both he and his friend Reb Shmuel Aizik became very inflamed with desire to travel to Admoyr z"l. And even though they did not have expenses for such a long journey — for from Dashiv to Medvedevka was approximately two hundred miles [verst] — from the greatness of their awakening and longing for this, they resolved to go there on foot. And also along the way, as they passed through the city of Tirhovitza, in the study-hall of the Maggid z"l [there], they also brought about a great awakening among several men to travel and draw close to Admoyr z"l.
## Segment 28
כג
וְהִנֵּה רַבִּי יוּדְיל זַ"ל הָיָה אִישׁ חָשׁוּב קְצָת בֵּין אַנְשֵׁי עִירוֹ, וְגַם הָיָה לוֹ יְדִיעָה בְּכִתְבֵי הָאֲרִ"י זַ"ל, (אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק: כִּי הָיָה חֲתַן הַצַּדִּיק הַקָּדוֹשׁ רַבִּי לֵיבּ מִסְּטְרֶעסְטִינִיץ זְצַ"ל וְלָמַד עִמּוֹ חוֹתְנוֹ קַבָּלַת הָאֲרִ"י זַ"ל). וּבְבוֹאוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הִתְחִיל לְדַבֵּר עִמּוֹ בִּלְשׁוֹן גְּדוֹלוֹת וְאָמַר לוֹ יוֹרֵנוּ רַבֵּנוּ דֶּרֶךְ לַעֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ. וְעָנָה אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וְאָמַר לוֹ בִּלְשׁוֹן תְּמִיהַּ "לָדַעַת בָּאָרֶץ דְּרָכֶיךָ"? (כַּמּוּבָא בְּשִׂיחוֹת הָרַ"נ בְּאוֹת רצ"ב עַיֵּן שָׁם) וְאָז הִפִּיל עָלָיו אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל אֵימָה וּפַחַד גָּדוֹל וְעָצוּם עַד מְאֹד עַד שֶׁנָּסוֹג אָחוֹר בְּבֶהָלָה גְּדוֹלָה, וְנִשְׁאַר עוֹמֵד אֵצֶל הַפֶּתַח וְנִתְיָרֵא מִגֶּשֶׁת אֵלָיו, וְהִתְחִיל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל לְהַרְאוֹת לוֹ פָּנִים שׂוֹחֲקוֹת, וְהֵקֵל מֵעָלָיו הַפַּחַד קְצָת וְאָמַר לוֹ מָה אַתָּה מִתְיָרֵא מִמֶּנִּי הֲלֹא אֲנִי אָדָם כְּמוֹתְךָ רַק אֲנִי חָכָם בְּיוֹתֵר מִמְּךָ נָאר אִיךְ בִּין קְלוּגֶער פוּן דִּיר וְהִמְשִׁיךְ אוֹתוֹ בְּדִבּוּרָיו הַנְּעִימִים עַד שֶׁחָזַר נִסְמַךְ אֵלָיו וְהִפִּיל עָלָיו שֵׁנִית אֵימָה וּפַחַד עַד שֶׁחָזַר וְנָסוֹג אָחוֹר עַד פֶּתַח הַבַּיִת כַּנַּ"ל. וְשׁוּב הִתְחִיל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל עוֹד הַפַּעַם לְהַרְאוֹת לוֹ פָּנִים שׂוֹחֲקוֹת לְהָסִיר מֵעָלָיו הַפַּחַד וְהָאֵימָה, וְאָמַר לוֹ שֵׁנִית, מָה אַתָּה מִתְיָרֵא מִמֶּנִּי הֲלֹא אֲנִי אָדָם כְּמוֹתְךָ רַק אֲנִי חָכָם בְּיוֹתֵר מִמְּךָ, עַד שֶׁהִמְשִׁיךְ אוֹתוֹ שֵׁנִית כַּנַּ"ל, וְאַחַר־כָּךְ חָזַר וְהִפִּיל עָלָיו אֵימָה וּפַחַד וְכוּ' כַּנַּ"ל וְכֵן הָיָה אֵיזֶה פְּעָמִים עַד שֶׁצִּוָּה עָלָיו אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל שֶׁיִּתְוַדֶּה לְפָנָיו כָּל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר עָלָיו (כַּאֲשֶׁר הָיָה מְצַוֶּה זֹאת עַל כָּל אַנְשֵׁי מְקֹרָבָיו, וְהָיָה נוֹתֵן לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד תִּקּוּנִים וְהַנְהָגוֹת כְּפִי שֹׁרֶשׁ נִשְׁמָתוֹ כַּמּוּבָא בִּסְפָרָיו הַקְּדוֹשִׁים), וּמֵאָז וָהָלְאָה נִתְקַשְּׁרוּ מְאֹד הוּא וְרַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל אַיְזִיק הַנַּ"ל לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְהִרְבּוּ מְאֹד מִיּוֹם אֶל יוֹם לַעֲסֹק בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּתוֹרָה וּבִתְפִלָּה וּתְשׁוּבָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים בְּהִתְעוֹרְרוּת רַב וְעָצוּם מְאֹד עַד עֵת פְּטִירָתָם זַ"ל. וְהִרְבּוּ מְאֹד לְחַדֵּשׁ בַּתּוֹרָה חִדּוּשִׁין דְּאוֹרַיְתָא וְנַעֲשׂוּ צַדִּיקִים ְּדוֹלִים מְאֹד.
אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק:
שָׁמַעְתִּי שֶׁהַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי לֵיבּ מִסְּטְרֶעסְטִינֶעץ זַ"ל בָּא אַחַר הִסְתַּלְּקוּתוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל וּבִקֵּשׁ אוֹתוֹ שֶׁיְּקָרֵב אֶת בָּנָיו, וְכֵן הֲוָה שֶׁנִּתְקָרְבוּ כִּמְעַט כָּל בָּנָיו לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל:
אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק:
בְּעֵת שֶׁנִּתְקָרֵב הָרַבִּי יוּדְיל זַ"ל הַנַּ"ל לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל בְּמֶעדְוֶודוּבְקָא בִּקֵּשׁ אֶת אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל שֶׁיִּרְאֶה מִמֶּנּוּ אֵיזֶה מוֹפֵת, וְאָמַר לוֹ רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל הַמְתֵּן פֹּה עַד אַחַר שַׁבָּת וְאָז תִּרְאֶה, וְכֵן עָשָׂה וְהִמְתִּין. וַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל סִפֵּר לוֹ שֶׁבִּכְפָר אֶחָד הַסָּמוּךְ יוֹשֵׁב אִישׁ אֶחָד שֶׁמְּקֹרָב קְצָת אֵלַי וְהוּא הָיָה חָשׂוּךְ מִבָּנִים וְנָסַע כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים אֵלַי וְהִפְצִיר אוֹתִי לְעוֹרֵר רַחֲמִים עֲבוּרוֹ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה נִפְקַד בְּבָנִים, וְאָנֹכִי הִבְטַחְתִּי לוֹ שֶׁבְּעֵזֶר הַשֵּׁם יִוָּלֵד לוֹ בֵּן, אַךְ הִתְנֵיתִי עִמּוֹ שֶׁבְּכָל חֲצִי שָׁנָה יִתֵּן לִי רֶענְדִיל אֶחָד. וְכֵן הֲוָה, וְהָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל נִפְקַד בְּבֵן זָכָר. וְעַד עַתָּה הָיָה מְקַיֵּם תְּנָאוֹ וּבְכָל חֲצִי שָׁנָה נָתַן לִי הָרֶענְדִיל, וְעַתָּה בְּיוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי שֶׁאַחַר שַׁבָּת צָרִיךְ הָאִישׁ הַנַּ"ל לְהָבִיא לִי הָרֶענְדִיל. וְיוֹדֵעַ אֲנִי שֶׁעַתָּה לֹא יִשְׁמֹר מוֹצָא שְׂפָתָיו, וְיַחְדֹּל מִלָּתֵת לִי הָרֶענְדִיל כִּי גִּיסוֹ מַפְצִיר אוֹתוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִתֵּן לִי בְּאָמְרוֹ כִּי זֶהוּ מוֹפֵת מִשְּׁאָר צַדִּיקֵי הַדּוֹר, כִּי גַּם אֲנִי נָתַתִּי לָהֶם פִּדְיוֹנוֹת עֲבוּרְךָ שֶׁתִּפָּקֵד בְּבָנִים, וְדִבֵּר גִּיסוֹ עַל לְבָבוֹ כָּל־כָּךְ עַד שֶׁשָּׁמַע לִדְבָרָיו, וְנִסְכַּם בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁלֹּא יִתֵּן לִי הָרֶענְדִיל. וְתִרְאֶה כִּי תַּחַת הָרֶענְדִיל שֶׁהוּא צָרִיךְ לְהָבִיא לְכָאן בְּיוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי שֶׁאַחַר הַשַּׁבָּת יָבִיא אֶת הַיֶּלֶד שֶׁלּוֹ לְכָאן מֵת, וְכֵן הֲוָה מַמָּשׁ כְּדִבְרֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל. (וְהַנִּרְאֶה שֶׁבְּזֶה הָרֶענְדִיל הָיָה עוֹשֶׂה רַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל פִּדְיוֹן לְהַמְתִּיק הַדִּינִים מֵאִתּוֹ שֶׁיִּתְקַיֵּם הַיֶּלֶד אֶצְלוֹ, וּכְשֶׁחָדַל מִלָּתֵת הָרֶענְדִיל לְפִדְיוֹן גָּבְרוּ הַדִּינִים עָלָיו עַד
שֶׁמֵּת הַיֶּלֶד, וְאִם הָיָה שׁוֹמֵעַ לְדִבְרֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זְצַ"ל הָיָה הַיֶּלֶד חַי):
Siman 23. כג Reb Yudel's First Encounter with the Rebbe — Awe, Lashes, Wonder, and Bonding. Now, Reb Yudel z"l was a man of some standing among the people of his city — and also had knowledge of the writings of the Arizal z"l. [The Compiler says: For he was the son-in-law of the holy Tzadik, Reb Laib of Strestinitz z"tl — and his father-in-law had taught him the Kabbalah of the Arizal z"l.] And when he came before Admoyr z"l, he began to speak with him in grandiose language, and said to him: "Teach us, our master, the way of the service of the Creator, may He be blessed." And Admoyr z"l answered him in a language of astonishment: "To make known on earth Your ways?" [as brought in Sichos HaRan , section 292 — see there] . And then Admoyr z"l cast upon him a very great and immense awe and dread — to the point that [Reb Yudel] recoiled backwards in great fright, and remained standing at the doorway, fearful of approaching him. Then Admoyr z"l began to show him a smiling face, and somewhat relieved the fear from him, and said to him: "Why are you afraid of me? Am I not a person just like you? Only I am wiser than you —" "nor ich bin kliger fun dir." And he drew him with his pleasant words until [Reb Yudel] came close to him again — and [ Admoyr ] cast upon him a second time awe and dread — until he recoiled again backwards to the doorway as before. And again Admoyr z"l began once more to show him a smiling face to remove the fear and dread from him, and said to him a second time: "Why are you afraid of me? Am I not a person just like you? Only I am wiser than you" — until he drew him close again as before. And again he cast upon him awe and dread, etc., as before. And so it was several times — until Admoyr z"l commanded him to confess before him everything that had ever befallen him. [As he would command all of his close disciples — giving to each and every one rectifications and practices according to the root of his soul, as is brought in his holy books.] And from then onward, he and Reb Shmuel Aizik mentioned above were very strongly bound to Admoyr z"l — and multiplied greatly from day to day their engagement in divine service in Torah and prayer and repentance and good deeds, with very great and immense awakening, until the time of their passing z"l. And they greatly multiplied new Torah innovations [ chidushim ] and became very great Tzadikim. The Compiler says: I heard that the Tzadik Reb Laib of Strestinitz z"l came after his passing before Admoyr z"tl and besought him to draw close his sons — and so it was, that nearly all his sons drew close to Admoyr z"tl. The Compiler says: At the time that Reb Yudel z"l mentioned above drew close to Admoyr z"tl in Medvedevka, he asked Admoyr z"tl to show him some wonder [ mofes ]. And our master z"l said to him: "Wait here until after Shabbos and then you will see." And so he did and waited. And Admoyr z"tl related to him that in a certain nearby village there lives a man who was somewhat close to me, and he had been childless — and he traveled to me several times and pressed me to arouse mercy on his behalf so that he should be blessed with children. And I promised him that with G-d's help a son would be born to him. But I stipulated with him that every half year he would give me one rendil [a coin]. And so it was — and the man mentioned was blessed with a male child. And until now he had been fulfilling his condition, and every half year gave me the rendil . But now, on the Tuesday after this Shabbos, this man is supposed to bring me the rendil . And I know that this time he will not keep his word, and will refrain from giving me the rendil — for his brother-in-law is pressing him not to give it, saying that this is [merely] a wonder like those of other Tzadikim of the generation, "for I too gave them pidyonos [redemption payments] on your behalf that you should be blessed with children." And his brother-in-law spoke to his heart so much that he heeded his words — and he resolved in his mind not to give me the rendil . And you will see that in place of the rendil which he was supposed to bring here on Tuesday after Shabbos, he will bring his child here — dead. And so it was, precisely as the words of Admoyr z"tl. [And it appears that with this rendil our master z"tl was performing a pidyon [redemption] to sweeten the strict judgments from him so that the child would survive — and when he stopped giving the rendil for the pidyon , the strict judgments prevailed over him until the child died. Had he heeded the words of Admoyr z"tl the child would have lived.] The Compiler adds — another story: Once our master [Rebbe] z"l debated with some of our fellowship about the explanation of a passage in the Gemara — and they said: "Let Reb Yudel say with whom the truth lies." And Reb Yudel said that their words were correct regarding the simple meaning [ pshat ] of the Gemara. And our master z"l said: "If I show you that my words are true and correct, they will give you a flogging [ shmits ]." And he said yes. And our master z"l showed that the plain meaning was as his words — and they gave Reb Yudel a flogging. And at the moment of the flogging his mind weakened and he had doubts about this — that they were giving him a flogging. Afterwards he traveled home — and behold, his daughter had become very ill. And he immediately traveled to our master z"l. And our master z"l told him the story of a mill in Danzig that ground on twenty-four millstones, and there was an evil spirit [ lo tov ] there that prevented the grinding. And a certain sorcerer advised that they should allow one of the twenty-four millstones to be ground in sand — and then the others would grind. And he hinted to him through this regarding his daughter: that one of her twenty-four major limbs would die and she would recover. And he told him: "If you had not harbored doubts at the moment of the flogging, she would have become fully healed — but since you did harbor doubts, it will be that one limb will die and she will recover." And so it was — the small finger on her hand died completely, and she recovered. The Compiler adds — yet another story: Our master z"l said to him at the time of his drawing-close: "I will stipulate with you that you will not be a chossid [in the external manner]" — and explained to him that his intention was regarding [the overly stringent practices around] cleanliness, and the [special] tea in the morning, and the pipe [ lilka ], etc. And once at the time of his drawing-close to Admoyr z"tl, they told Reb Yudel that our master z"l was angry at him — and he was fearful to enter before him. And after three days of not entering, he settled in his mind to enter and strengthened himself and entered. And our master z"tl said to him: "When one wishes to draw close to the truth, then falsehood [ sheker ] grows stronger. And when one overcomes the obstacles and breaks them — then from 'sheker' [falsehood] is made 'kesher' [a bond]" — and said: "Vets shoyn zayn mekusher tzu mir vayl du vest lebn." ("You will now be bound to me for as long as you live.") And when Reb Yudel would travel from Medvedevka to Uman [to the holy gravestone of Admoyr ], he would travel by way of Breslov — and would be there with the Rav Reb Hirsh Laib, the Rav of Breslov, and would recount to him every year his drawing-close to our master z"tl. And his conclusion of that story — he would always end with: "Perhaps by you this is already old — bay mir iz dos shpigel nay" ("by me it is fresh and gleaming like a new mirror")."
## Segment 29
וְעוֹד הָיָה מַעֲשֶׂה: פַּעַם אַחַת פִּלְפֵּל רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל עִם אֵיזוֹ אַנְשֵׁי שְׁלוֹמֵנוּ אוֹדוֹת פֵּרוּשׁ בִּגְמָרָא, וְאָמְרוּ יֹאמְרוּ רַבִּי יוּדְיל עִם מִי הָאֱמֶת. וְאָמַר רַבִּי יוּדְיל שֶׁדִּבְרֵיהֶם נְכוֹנִים בְּעִנְיַן הַפְּשָׁט שֶׁל הַגְּמָרָא. וְאָמַר רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה אִם אַרְאֶה לְךָ שֶׁדְּבָרַי אֲמִתִּיִּים וּנְכוֹנִים יִתְּנוּ לְךָ שְׁמִיץ (הַלְקָאָה), וְאָמַר הֵן. וְהֶרְאָה רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה שֶׁהַפְּשָׁט כִּדְבָרָיו וְנָתְנוּ לְרַבִּי יוּדְיל שְׁמִיץ (הַלְקָאָה). וּבִשְׁעַת הַשְּׁמִיץ נֶחֱלַשׁ דַּעְתּוֹ וְהִרְהֵר עַל זֶה שֶׁנּוֹתְנִים לוֹ שְׁמִיץ. אַחַר־כָּךְ נָסַע לְבֵיתוֹ, וְהִנֵּה בִּתּוֹ נֶחְלְשָׁה לִמְאֹד, וְנָסַע תֵּכֶף לְרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל. וְסִפֵּר לוֹ רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל מַעֲשֶׂה שֶׁהָיָה רֵחַיִם בְּדַאנְצִיג שֶׁהָיָה טוֹחֵן עַל עֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבַּע אֲבָנִים וְהָיָה שָׁם הֲלֹא טוֹב (רוּחַ) וְלֹא הִנִּיחַ לִטְחֹן, וְיִעֵץ מְכַשֵּׁף אֶחָד שֶׁיַּנִּיחוּ לוֹ אֶחָד מֵהָעֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה אֲבָנִים וְיִטְחֲנוּ אוֹתוֹ בַּחוֹל, וְאָז הַשְּׁאָר יִטְחֲנוּ. וְרָמַז לוֹ זֶה בְּבִתּוֹ, שֶׁאֶחָד מֵעֶשְׂרִים וְאַרְבָּעָה רָאשֵׁי אֵבָרִים יָמוּת וְהִיא תַּבְרִיא. וְאָמַר לוֹ שֶׁאִם לֹא הָיִיתָ מְהַרְהֵר בִּשְׁעַת הַשְּׁמִיץ הָיְתָה נַעֲשֵׂית בְּרִיאָה לְגַמְרֵי, אַךְ שֶׁהִרְהַרְתָּ יִהְיֶה כֵּן שֶׁאֵבֶר אֶחָד יָמוּת וְהִיא תַּבְרִיא. וְכָךְ הֲוָה שֶׁאֶצְבַּע הַקְּטַנָּה שֶׁעַל יָדָהּ מֵת
לְגַמְרֵי וְהִיא הִבְרִיאָה:
וְעוֹד הָיָה מַעֲשֶׂה, שֶׁרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל אָמַר לוֹ בִּשְׁעַת הַהִתְקָרְבוּת, אַתְנֶה עִמְּךָ שֶׁלֹּא תְּהֵא חָסִיד, וְהִסְבִּיר לוֹ שֶׁכַּוָּנָתוֹ בְּעִנְיַן הַנְּקִיּוּת וְהַתֵּה בְּשַׁחֲרִית וּבַלִּילְקָא וְכוּ', וּפַעַם אַחַת בִּשְׁעַת הִתְקָרְבוּתוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל אָמְרוּ לוֹ לְרַבִּי יוּדְל שֶׁרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל כּוֹעֵס עָלָיו, וַיִּירָא לִכְנֹס אֶצְלוֹ. וְאַחַר שְׁלֹשָׁה יָמִים שֶׁלֹּא נִכְנַס נִתְיַשֵּׁב לִכְנֹס וְהִתְחַזֵּק אֶת עַצְמוֹ וְנִכְנַס. וְאָמַר לוֹ רַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל כְּשֶׁרוֹצִין לְהִתְקָרֵב אֶל הָאֱמֶת אָז מִתְגַּבֵּר הַשֶּׁקֶר, וּכְשֶׁמִּתְגַּבְּרִין עַל הַמְּנִיעוֹת וּמְשַׁבְּרִין אוֹתָם, אָז נַעֲשֶׂה מִ"שֶּׁקֶר" "קֶשֶׁר", וֶושְׂטוּ שׁוֹין זַיְין מְקֻשָּׁר צוּ מִיר וַויְל דּוּ וֶועסְט לֶעבִּין (תִּהְיֶה כְבָר מְקֻשָּׁר אֵלַי כָּל זְמַן שֶׁתִּחְיֶה). וְרַבִּי יוּדְיל כְּשֶׁהָיָה נוֹסֵעַ מִמֶּעדְוֶועדוּבְקָא לְאוּמֶאן עַל צִיוּנוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ נָסַע דֶּרֶךְ בְּרַסְלֶב, וְהָיָה שָׁם אֵצֶל הָרַב ר' הִירְשׁ לֵיבּ רַב דִּבְרַסְלֶב, וְהָיָה מְסַפֵּר לוֹ בְּכָל שָׁנָה הִתְקָרְבוּתוֹ לְרַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל. וְהַסּוֹף מִזֶּה הַמַּעֲשֶׂה הָיָה מְסַיֵּם: אֶפְשָׁר אֶצְלְכֶם זֶה יָשָׁן, בַּיי
מִיר אִיז דָּאס שְׁפִּיגֶעל נַיְיא (אֶצְלִי זֶה חָדָשׁ וּמַבְרִיק כְּמוֹ רְאִי):
Siman 23 (continued). כג Reb Yudel's First Encounter with the Rebbe — Awe, Lashes, Wonder, and Bonding. Now, Reb Yudel z"l was a man of some standing among the people of his city — and also had knowledge of the writings of the Arizal z"l. [The Compiler says: For he was the son-in-law of the holy Tzadik, Reb Laib of Strestinitz z"tl — and his father-in-law had taught him the Kabbalah of the Arizal z"l.] And when he came before Admoyr z"l, he began to speak with him in grandiose language, and said to him: "Teach us, our master, the way of the service of the Creator, may He be blessed." And Admoyr z"l answered him in a language of astonishment: "To make known on earth Your ways?" [as brought in Sichos HaRan , section 292 — see there] . And then Admoyr z"l cast upon him a very great and immense awe and dread — to the point that [Reb Yudel] recoiled backwards in great fright, and remained standing at the doorway, fearful of approaching him. Then Admoyr z"l began to show him a smiling face, and somewhat relieved the fear from him, and said to him: "Why are you afraid of me? Am I not a person just like you? Only I am wiser than you —" "nor ich bin kliger fun dir." And he drew him with his pleasant words until [Reb Yudel] came close to him again — and [ Admoyr ] cast upon him a second time awe and dread — until he recoiled again backwards to the doorway as before. And again Admoyr z"l began once more to show him a smiling face to remove the fear and dread from him, and said to him a second time: "Why are you afraid of me? Am I not a person just like you? Only I am wiser than you" — until he drew him close again as before. And again he cast upon him awe and dread, etc., as before. And so it was several times — until Admoyr z"l commanded him to confess before him everything that had ever befallen him. [As he would command all of his close disciples — giving to each and every one rectifications and practices according to the root of his soul, as is brought in his holy books.] And from then onward, he and Reb Shmuel Aizik mentioned above were very strongly bound to Admoyr z"l — and multiplied greatly from day to day their engagement in divine service in Torah and prayer and repentance and good deeds, with very great and immense awakening, until the time of their passing z"l. And they greatly multiplied new Torah innovations [ chidushim ] and became very great Tzadikim. The Compiler says: I heard that the Tzadik Reb Laib of Strestinitz z"l came after his passing before Admoyr z"tl and besought him to draw close his sons — and so it was, that nearly all his sons drew close to Admoyr z"tl. The Compiler says: At the time that Reb Yudel z"l mentioned above drew close to Admoyr z"tl in Medvedevka, he asked Admoyr z"tl to show him some wonder [ mofes ]. And our master z"l said to him: "Wait here until after Shabbos and then you will see." And so he did and waited. And Admoyr z"tl related to him that in a certain nearby village there lives a man who was somewhat close to me, and he had been childless — and he traveled to me several times and pressed me to arouse mercy on his behalf so that he should be blessed with children. And I promised him that with G-d's help a son would be born to him. But I stipulated with him that every half year he would give me one rendil [a coin]. And so it was — and the man mentioned was blessed with a male child. And until now he had been fulfilling his condition, and every half year gave me the rendil . But now, on the Tuesday after this Shabbos, this man is supposed to bring me the rendil . And I know that this time he will not keep his word, and will refrain from giving me the rendil — for his brother-in-law is pressing him not to give it, saying that this is [merely] a wonder like those of other Tzadikim of the generation, "for I too gave them pidyonos [redemption payments] on your behalf that you should be blessed with children." And his brother-in-law spoke to his heart so much that he heeded his words — and he resolved in his mind not to give me the rendil . And you will see that in place of the rendil which he was supposed to bring here on Tuesday after Shabbos, he will bring his child here — dead. And so it was, precisely as the words of Admoyr z"tl. [And it appears that with this rendil our master z"tl was performing a pidyon [redemption] to sweeten the strict judgments from him so that the child would survive — and when he stopped giving the rendil for the pidyon , the strict judgments prevailed over him until the child died. Had he heeded the words of Admoyr z"tl the child would have lived.] The Compiler adds — another story: Once our master [Rebbe] z"l debated with some of our fellowship about the explanation of a passage in the Gemara — and they said: "Let Reb Yudel say with whom the truth lies." And Reb Yudel said that their words were correct regarding the simple meaning [ pshat ] of the Gemara. And our master z"l said: "If I show you that my words are true and correct, they will give you a flogging [ shmits ]." And he said yes. And our master z"l showed that the plain meaning was as his words — and they gave Reb Yudel a flogging. And at the moment of the flogging his mind weakened and he had doubts about this — that they were giving him a flogging. Afterwards he traveled home — and behold, his daughter had become very ill. And he immediately traveled to our master z"l. And our master z"l told him the story of a mill in Danzig that ground on twenty-four millstones, and there was an evil spirit [ lo tov ] there that prevented the grinding. And a certain sorcerer advised that they should allow one of the twenty-four millstones to be ground in sand — and then the others would grind. And he hinted to him through this regarding his daughter: that one of her twenty-four major limbs would die and she would recover. And he told him: "If you had not harbored doubts at the moment of the flogging, she would have become fully healed — but since you did harbor doubts, it will be that one limb will die and she will recover." And so it was — the small finger on her hand died completely, and she recovered. The Compiler adds — yet another story: Our master z"l said to him at the time of his drawing-close: "I will stipulate with you that you will not be a chossid [in the external manner]" — and explained to him that his intention was regarding [the overly stringent practices around] cleanliness, and the [special] tea in the morning, and the pipe [ lilka ], etc. And once at the time of his drawing-close to Admoyr z"tl, they told Reb Yudel that our master z"l was angry at him — and he was fearful to enter before him. And after three days of not entering, he settled in his mind to enter and strengthened himself and entered. And our master z"tl said to him: "When one wishes to draw close to the truth, then falsehood [ sheker ] grows stronger. And when one overcomes the obstacles and breaks them — then from 'sheker' [falsehood] is made 'kesher' [a bond]" — and said: "Vets shoyn zayn mekusher tzu mir vayl du vest lebn." ("You will now be bound to me for as long as you live.") And when Reb Yudel would travel from Medvedevka to Uman [to the holy gravestone of Admoyr ], he would travel by way of Breslov — and would be there with the Rav Reb Hirsh Laib, the Rav of Breslov, and would recount to him every year his drawing-close to our master z"tl. And his conclusion of that story — he would always end with: "Perhaps by you this is already old — bay mir iz dos shpigel nay" ("by me it is fresh and gleaming like a new mirror")."
## Segment 30
כד
הָרַב הַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי יְקוּתִיאֵל הַמַּגִּיד מִטִּירְהָאוִויצָא זְצוּקַ"ל הוּא אֲשֶׁר זָכָה בְּיוֹתֵר מִכָּל הַמְפֻרְסָמִים שֶׁבְּדוֹרוֹ לְהַכְנִיעַ אֶת עַצְמוֹ תַּחַת אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְלַעֲמֹד לִפְנֵי הַדְרַת קְדֻשָּׁתוֹ בְּאֵימָה וָפַחַד, וְגַם הַרְבֵּה מֵאַנְשֵׁי מְקֹרָבָיו וְיוֹצְאֵי חֲלָצָיו נִתְקָרְבוּ עַל
יָדוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל:
אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק:
רַבִּי יִצְחָק חֲתַן הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל הַנַּ"ל הָיָה אִישׁ מְצֻיָּן וּמֻשְׁלָם בְּכָל הַמַּעֲלוֹת, לַמְדָן גָּדוֹל בַּתּוֹרָה וְעָסַק בַּעֲבוֹדַת ה' כָּל יָמָיו, וְנִתְגַּדֵּל בְּבֵית הַצַּדִּיק יְסוֹד עוֹלָם הָרַב ר' זוּסְיָא זַצַ"ל, וְקֹדֶם פְּטִירַת הַצַּדִּיק וְהַטָּהוֹר הַנַּ"ל שָׁאַל אוֹתוֹ לְאֵיזֶה צַדִּיק אֶתְקָרֵב, וְהֵשִׁיב לוֹ לְזֶה הַצַּדִּיק שֶׁיַּעֲסֹק בְּוִדּוּי דְּבָרִים, הַיְנוּ שֶׁיְּצַוֶּה לִמְקֹרָבָיו שֶׁיִּתְוַדּוּ לְפָנָיו וְיִתֵּן לָהֶם תִּקּוּנִים עַל כָּל דָּבָר, (וְשָׁמַע שֶׁקּוֹרִין לְאַנְשֵׁי שְׁלוֹמֵנוּ "דִּי וִדּוּי'נִיקֶעס" – הַוִדּוּינִיקִים), וּכְשֶׁנָּסַע בְּפַעַם רִאשׁוֹנָה לְרַבֵּנוּ הַקָּדוֹשׁ וְרָאָה שֶׁאַנְשֵׁי שְׁלוֹמֵנוּ יוֹצְאִים וְדִמְעָתָם עַל לֶחְיָם מֵהַוִּדּוּי דְּבָרִים. וּבָא לְהַבֵּית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וְהָיוּ אָז שָׁם עוֹד הַרְבֵּה אֲנָשִׁים, וְרָמַז רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל אֶל כָּל הָאֲנָשִׁים שֶׁיֵּצְאוּ לַחוּץ, וְהֵסִירוּ כֻּלָּם הַטַּלִּית וְהַתְּפִלִּין מֵעֲלֵיהֶם וְיָצְאוּ. וְרָצָה ר' יִצְחָק הַנַּ"ל גַּם־כֵּן לָצֵאת, וְלָקַח רַבֵּנוּ זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה אֶת הַקְּלִיאַמְקֶע (הַיָּדִית) וְסָגַר אֶת הַדֶּלֶת, וְלֹא נִשְׁאַר בְּבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ רַק אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל וְר' יִצְחָק הַנַּ"ל. וְרַבֵּנוּ זַצַ"ל עִשֵּׁן אֶת הַלִּילְקָא וְהָלַךְ אָנָה וָאָנָה בְּבֵית הַמִּדְרָשׁ, וְנָפַל עַל ר' יִצְחָק הַנַּ"ל אֵימָה וּפַחַד גָּדוֹל, וְהִתְחִיל לְהַזְכִּיר אֶת עַצְמוֹ כָּל מַה שֶּׁעָבַר עָלָיו מִיּוֹם קַטְנוּתוֹ עַד הַיּוֹם הַהוּא. וְנִגַּשׁ אֵלָיו רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל וְאָמַר לוֹ בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: הַיְינְט זָאג (עַתָּה תֹּאמַר), וְהִתְחִיל לְהִתְוַדּוֹת לְפָנָיו כָּל לִבּוֹ. וְרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל דִּבֵּר עִמּוֹ מַה שֶּׁדִּבֵּר, וּמֵאָז נִתְקָרֵב אֶל רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל בְּהִתְקָרְבוּת עָצוּם וְנִפְלָא, וְעָסַק כָּל יָמָיו בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה וְהָיָה
אִישׁ צַדִּיק וִירֵא אֱלֹקִים כַּנּוֹדָע לְכָל מַכִּירָיו:
Siman 24. כד Reb Yekusiel the Maggid of Tirhovitza z"tl — Greatest in Submission; Reb Yitzchak His Son-in-Law. The Rav, the Tzadik, Reb Yekusiel the Maggid of Tirhovitza z"tl — he is the one who merited more than all the prominent men of his generation to humble himself before Admoyr z"l — to stand before the majesty of his holiness in awe and dread. And also many of his close disciples and his descendants drew close through him to Admoyr z"l. The Compiler says: Reb Yitzchak, the son-in-law of the Maggid z"l mentioned above, was a distinguished and complete person in all virtues — a great Torah scholar who engaged in the service of Hashem all his days. He was raised in the household of the Tzadik, the foundation of the world — the Rav Reb Zusya z"tl. And before the passing of that pure and holy Tzadik, he [Reb Zusya] asked him [Reb Yitzchak] to which Tzadik he should draw close. And he answered him: to this Tzadik — who would command his close disciples to confess [ vidduy ] their words before him, that is, who would command those close to him to confess before him and would give each one rectifications for every matter. [And he had heard that our fellowship are called "the confessors — di vidduy'nikes."] And when he traveled for the first time to our holy master [Rebbe], he saw the men of our fellowship going out with tears upon their cheeks from the confession of words [ vidduy devarim ]. And he came to the study-hall — and there were then still many other people there. And our master z"l signaled to all the people to go outside — and they all removed their tallis and tefillin from themselves and went out. And Reb Yitzchak mentioned above also wanted to go out — and our master z"l took the door-handle [ klyamke ] and closed the door. And there remained in the study-hall only Admoyr z"tl and Reb Yitzchak. And our master z"tl smoked the pipe [ lilka ] and walked back and forth in the study-hall. And a great awe and dread fell upon Reb Yitzchak — and he began to recall to himself everything that had befallen him from the days of his childhood until that very day. And our master z"l approached him and said to him in these words: "Haynt zog!" ("Now speak!") — and he began to confess his whole heart before him. And our master z"l spoke with him what he spoke. And from then onward he drew close to our master z"l with an immense and wondrous closeness — and engaged all his days in Torah and prayer, and was a righteous, G-d-fearing man as was known to all who knew him.
## Segment 31
כה
וְהַצַּדִּיק רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְזִיק זַ"ל שֶׁמּוּבָא מֵאִתּוֹ בְּחַיֵּי מוֹהֲרַ"ן (בְּסִפּוּר מַעֲלַת הַמִּתְקָרְבִים אֵלָיו בְּאוֹת כ"ג) גַּם הוּא הָיָה מֵאַנְשֵׁי הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל. וְהָיָה עוֹסֵק בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן בְּעֵסֶק חִלּוּף מַטְבֵּעַ. פַּעַם אַחַת רָאָה אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וְכוּ' כַּמּוּבָא שָׁם בְּחַיֵּי מוֹהֲרַ"ן עַיֵּן שָׁם. וּפֵרוּשׁ הַמִּלּוֹת "וַהֲוָה מַה דַּהֲוָה" הַמּוּבָא שָׁם שָׁמַעְתִּי קְצָת מֵאָבִי הֲרֵינִי כַּפָּרַת מִשְׁכָּבוֹ הַיְנוּ כִּי בְּבוֹאוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הִלְהִיב אֶת לְבָבוֹ לַעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ כְּלַבַּת אֵשׁ מַמָּשׁ, וְצִוָּה עָלָיו הַנְהָגוֹת מְיֻחָדוֹת כְּפִי שֹׁרֶשׁ נִשְׁמָתוֹ, וְהַנְהָגָה אַחַת צִוָּה עָלָיו שֶׁהָיְתָה כְּבֵדָה וְקָשָׁה מִכֻּלָּם הַיְנוּ שָׁנָה תְּמִימָה לֹא יְדַבֵּר עִם שׁוּם אָדָם אֲפִלּוּ תֵּבָה אַחַת (זוּלַת עִם הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל). וְאַחַר־כָּךְ נָסַע לְבֵיתוֹ. וּמִיָּד בְּבוֹאוֹ לְבֵיתוֹ, הִפְרִישׁ אֶת עַצְמוֹ מֵעִסְקֵי הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה לְגַמְרֵי וְלֹא דִּבֵּר עִם שׁוּם אָדָם כַּאֲשֶׁר צִוָּה עָלָיו כַּנַּ"ל, וּמִקּוּמוֹ עַד שָׁכְבוֹ לֹא מָשׁוּ שְׂפָתָיו מִתּוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה. וּמִיָּד נִתְעוֹרֵר עָלָיו מְרִיבוֹת וּרְדִיפוֹת גְּדוֹלוֹת מְאֹד מִכָּל בְּנֵי בֵּיתוֹ וּבִפְרָט מֵחוֹתְנוֹ וְאִשְׁתּוֹ. וְהִרְבּוּ לְדַבֵּר וּלְבַטֵּא כְּנֶגְדּוֹ בְּבִטּוּיִים כְּמַדְקְרוֹת חֶרֶב מַמָּשׁ, וְכִנּוּ אוֹתוֹ בְּשֵׁם יוֹצֵא מֵהַדַּעַת וְעוֹד כַּיּוֹצֵא בְּכִנּוּיִים כָּאֵלֶּה. וַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הִבִּיט בְּרוּחַ קָדְשׁוֹ אֶת גֹּדֶל מְרִירוּת לְבָבוֹ מִדִּבְרֵיהֶם הָרָעִים וְנִתְיָרֵא מְאֹד מֵחֲמַת זֶה (וּכְפִי הַמּוּבָן שֶׁנִּתְיָרֵא שֶׁלֹּא יִהְיֶה נֶחֱלֶה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם אוֹ שֶׁיִּפֹּל מֵעֲבוֹדָתוֹ עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה). וּמִיָּד קָרָא בִּזְרִיזוּת לְאֶחָד מֵאֲנָשָׁיו, וְצִוָּה לוֹ שֶׁיִשְׂכֹּר בַּעֲבוּרוֹ תֵּכֶף וּמִיָּד עֲגָלָה לְטִירְהָאוִויצֶע, וְרָץ לְשָׁם בִּמְהִירוּת וְהִגִּיעַ לְשָׁם בַּלַּיְלָה. וְהֶעֱמִיד אֶת עַצְמוֹ עִם הָעֲגָלָה אֵצֶל בֵּית חוֹתְנוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק זַ"ל שֶׁיָּשַׁב עִמּוֹ בְּיַחַד, וְהִקִּישׁ עַל הַדֶּלֶת שֶׁיִּפְתְּחוּ לוֹ, וְנִכְנַס לְשָׁם. וַיִּשָּׂא חוֹתְנוֹ אֶת עֵינָיו וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בָּא לְבֵיתוֹ, וַיִּתְפַּלֵּא וַיִּשְׁתּוֹמֵם מְאֹד, כִּי לֹא יָדַע מַה זֶּה וְעַל מַה זֶּה. וְר' יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק זַ"ל הָיָה בְּחַדְרוֹ וְקָרָא אָז קְרִיאַת שְׁמַע שֶׁלִּפְנֵי הַשֵּׁנָה בְּכֹחַ גָּדוֹל בִּדְבֵקוּת עָצוּם וְנִפְלָא. וַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל שָׁמַע וְלֹא רָצָה לִכָּנֵס לְחַדְרוֹ וּלְהִתְרָאוֹת בְּפָנָיו כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יְבַלְבְּלוֹ וְיַפְסִיקֵהוּ בְּאֶמְצַע קְרִיאָתוֹ וּבְתוֹךְ כָּךְ הִתְחִיל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל לְהוֹכִיחַ אֶת חוֹתְנוֹ עַל דַּרְכּוֹ הָרָע עַל שֶׁהוּא מְיַסֵּר אֶת חֲתָנוֹ בְּיִסּוּרִים כָּאֵלֶּה כַּנַּ"ל; וְגַם שָׁאַל אוֹתוֹ אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הֲלֹא בַּבֹּקֶר כְּשֶׁאַתָּה מַנִּיחַ תְּפִלִּין וּבְיָדְךָ אַתָּה מַכְרִיךְ אֶת עַצְמְךָ בִּרְצוּעוֹת שֶׁל עוֹר בְּהֵמָה וּבְפִיךָ אַתָּה מַחֲשֶׁה וְדוֹמֵם וְאֵינְךָ רוֹצֶה לְדַבֵּר אָז שׁוּם דִּבּוּר, אִם יַעֲמֹד אָז לְנֶגְדְּךָ אֵיזֶה עָרֵל שֶׁלֹּא רָאָה וְשָׁמַע כָּזֹאת מֵעוֹלָם הַאִם לֹא הָיָה אוֹמֵר עָלֶיךָ שֶׁאַתָּה יוֹצֵא מִדַּעַת. (הַיְנוּ כִּי מְכֻוָּן מַמָּשׁ כֵּן הֵמָּה גַּם אִמְרֵי פִּיהוּ הָאֵלֶּה אֲשֶׁר יֹאמַר עַל חֲתָנוֹ שֶׁהוּא יוֹצֵא מֵהַדַּעַת עַל שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה רְצוֹן הַבּוֹרֵא יִתְבָּרַךְ כְּפִי תַּעֲלוּמוֹת דְּרָכָיו אֲשֶׁר יוֹדִיעֵנוּ עַל־יְדֵי עֲבָדָיו הַנֶּאֱמָנִים) וְעוֹד כַּיּוֹצֵא בִּדְבָרִים כָּאֵלֶּה דִּבֵּר וְהוֹכִיחוֹ עַד שֶׁנִּתְחָרֵט מְאֹד חוֹתְנוֹ עַל זֶה, וְקִבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ לְבַל יוֹסִיף עוֹד לְיַסְּרוֹ מֵהַיּוֹם הַהוּא וָהָלְאָה. וְאַחַר שֶׁגָּמַר רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק זַ"ל קְרִיאָתוֹ אֶת שְׁמַע הַנַּ"ל נִתְרָאָה בְּפָנָיו וְנִתְמַלֵּא מְאֹד לְבָבוֹ בְּגִילָה וְשִׂמְחָה עַד שֶׁהֶחֱיָה אוֹתוֹ מַמָּשׁ; וּבַבֹּקֶר הִשְׁכִּים אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וְשָׁב לְבֵיתוֹ:
Siman 25. כה Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l — A Full Year of Silence; the Rebbe Comes Personally to His Defense. And the Tzadik Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l, who is mentioned in Chayay Moharan [in the story of the merit of those who drew close to him, section 23] — he too was from the men of the Maggid z"l. And he was engaged in commerce in the business of currency exchange. Once he saw Admoyr z"l, etc. — as brought there in Chayay Moharan , see there. And the explanation of the phrase "and what happened, happened" [ vahava ma d'hava ] brought there — I heard some of this from my father, may I be his atonement — namely that when he came before Admoyr z"l, he inflamed his heart to the service of Hashem, may He be blessed, like a literal flame of fire. And he commanded him special practices according to the root of his soul. And one practice he commanded upon him that was heavier and harder than all the rest — namely that for a full year he would not speak with any person, not even a single word [except with the Maggid z"l]. And afterwards he traveled home. And immediately upon his arrival at home, he separated himself completely from the affairs of this world — and did not speak with any person as he had been commanded, as mentioned. And from his rising until his lying down, his lips did not cease from Torah and prayer. And immediately great quarrels and persecutions arose against him from all the members of his household — and especially from his father-in-law and his wife. And they multiplied their words and utterances against him with expressions like sword-thrusts literally — and they called him by the name "one who has gone out of his mind," and other such names. And Admoyr z"l perceived through his holy spirit the great bitterness of his heart from their evil words, and feared greatly on account of this. [And it is understood that he feared lest he become ill, G-d forbid, or lest he fall from his service on account of this.] And immediately he called with alacrity one of his men and commanded him to hire a wagon for him at once, immediately — to Tirhovitza. And he ran there with speed and arrived there at night. And he placed himself with the wagon at the house of the father-in-law of Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l, with whom [Reb Yitzchak Aizik] was then living — and he knocked on the door that they should open for him, and entered. And the father-in-law raised his eyes and saw — and behold, Admoyr z"l had come to his house. And he was very amazed and astonished, for he did not know what this was and why it was. And Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l was in his room and was then reciting the Kriyas Shma before sleep with great power and with wondrous, immense devotion [ dveykus ]. And Admoyr z"l heard — and did not want to enter his room and let himself be seen before him, so as not to disturb and interrupt him in the middle of his recitation. And meanwhile Admoyr z"l began to rebuke the father-in-law for his evil way — for tormenting his son-in-law with such sufferings as mentioned. And Admoyr z"l also asked him: "When in the morning you put on tefillin , and with your hand you wrap yourself with the leather straps, and with your mouth you are silent and still and do not wish to speak any word — if an uncircumcised gentile were then to stand before you who had never seen or heard such a thing — would he not say of you that you have gone out of your mind?" [That is, for it is precisely the same in kind as those very same words which he says about his son-in-law — that he has gone out of his mind — for doing the will of the Creator, may He be blessed, according to the hidden ways that He makes known to us through His faithful servants.] And more words like these he spoke and rebuked him, until the father-in-law very greatly repented of this — and accepted upon himself not to torment him any further from that day onward. And after Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l finished reciting the Shma mentioned above — [ Admoyr ] appeared before him. And his heart filled greatly with joy and gladness — to the point that he literally revived him. And in the morning Admoyr z"l arose early and returned home.
## Segment 32
כו
וּמֵאָז וָהָלְאָה עָסַק רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק זַ"ל בַּעֲבוֹדָתוֹ בְּלִי מוֹנֵעַ וְחוֹלֵק. וְקֹדֶם פֶּסַח נָסַע לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל. בַּדֶּרֶךְ בַּמָּלוֹן נִתְוַדַּע לוֹ בַּחֲלוֹמוֹ כָּל הַתּוֹרָה שֶׁשָּׁמַע אָז אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בְּמָקוֹם שֶׁשָּׁמַע. וַיַּשְׁכֵּם בַּבֹּקֶר וַיִּסַּע וַיָּבֹא לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל וַיְסַפְּרָה לְפָנָיו מִתְּחִלָּה וְעַד סוֹף בַּחֲרָדָה וְאֵימָה גְּדוֹלָה וַעֲצוּמָה מְאֹד, וּמִיָּד הָלַךְ אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל מֵאִתּוֹ וְהוּא מִגֹּדֶל רַעֲדַת גּוּפוֹ נִתְעַלֵּף וְנִשְׁאַר חֲלָשׁוּת וְאַחַר־כָּךְ בְּסָמוּךְ נִפְטַר כַּמּוּבָא שָׁם:
וּכְשֶׁהָיָה רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק מֻטָּל עַל עֶרֶשׂ דְּוָי, לָקַח רַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל מְעַט רֹטֶב וְנָתַן לוֹ לֶאֱכֹל, וְאָמַר, הַיּוֹם שִׁמַּשְׁתִּי אֶת תַּלְמִיד חָכָם אֲמִתִּי. וְאַחַר פְּטִירָתוֹ שֶׁל רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק זַ"ל הַנַּ"ל, נִזְדַּמֵּן שֶׁרַבֵּנוּ זַ"ל נָסַע דֶּרֶךְ טִירְהָוִויצֶע וְשָׁאַל הֲיֵשׁ בָּנִים לְאוֹתוֹ צַדִּיק? וְהֵשִׁיבוּ לוֹ הֵן, וְאָמַר בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: וִוי קוּמְט צוּ אִיהְם קִינְדֶער (אֵיךְ שַׁיָּךְ אֵלָיו בָּנִים), וּמֵתוּ גַּם בָּנָיו. וּמִי יוּכַל לְהָבִין דִּבְרֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל וַעֲסָקָיו שֶׁעָסַק עִם כָּל נִשְׁמוֹת
יִשְׂרָאֵל הַחַיִּים וְהַמֵּתִים. (המ' אַלְתֵּר בֶּן ר' זֶעלִיג מִטֶּעפְּלִיק זַ"ל):
Siman 26. כו Reb Yitzchak Aizik — The Torah Revealed in a Dream; His Holy Death; The Rebbe's Saying. And from then onward Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l engaged in his divine service without restraint or dispute. And before Pesach he traveled to Admoyr z"l. Along the way, at the inn, the entire Torah teaching that Admoyr z"l taught at that time and in that place was revealed to him in his dream. And he rose early in the morning and traveled and came to Admoyr z"l — and related it before him from beginning to end with very great trembling and awe. And immediately Admoyr z"l walked away from him — and [Reb Yitzchak Aizik], from the greatness of his body's trembling, fainted and remained weakened. And shortly afterwards he passed away, as is brought there [in Chayay Moharan ]. And when Reb Yitzchak Aizik was lying on his sickbed, our master z"l took a little gravy and gave it to him to eat — and said: "Today I served a true Torah scholar." And after the passing of Reb Yitzchak Aizik z"l mentioned above, it came about that our master z"l was traveling through Tirhovitza and asked whether there were children to that Tzadik. And they answered him: yes. And he said in these words: "Vi kumt tzu im kinder?" ("How are children related to him?") — and his sons also died. And who can understand the words of Admoyr z"tl and his dealings that he conducted with all the souls of Israel, the living and the dead. [Source: the Compiler, Alter ben Reb Zelig of Teplik z"l]
## Segment 33
כז
ר' יִצְחָק יְהוּדָה זַ"ל מִטֶּעפְּלִיק קֹדֶם הִתְקָרְבוּתוֹ לַאַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל הָיָה מְפֻרְסָם וְכַמָּה אֲנָשִׁים מֵעֲיָרוֹת רַבּוֹת הָיוּ נוֹתְנִים לוֹ פִּדְיוֹנוֹת וְאַחַר־כָּךְ כְּשֶׁהִכִּיר אֲמִתָּתוֹ שֶׁל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, עָזַב וְהִרְחִיק מֵעַל עַצְמוֹ הַנְהָגַת פִּרְסוּמוֹ, וְקִבֵּל עַל עַצְמוֹ עֹל עֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ בִּתְמִימוּת וּפְשִׁיטוּת. וְלֹא הֵסֵב אֶת פָּנָיו גַּם מִכָּל הַחֲרָפוֹת וְהַבּוּשׁוֹת שֶׁהָיוּ לוֹ מֵחֲמַת זֶה, וַיָּשָׁב אֶל ה' בְּכָל לִבּוֹ וְנַפְשׁוֹ, כִשְׁאָר אַנְשֵׁי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל:
Siman 27. כז Reb Yitzchak Yehuda z"l of Teplik — Abandons His Fame for Simplicity. Reb Yitzchak Yehuda z"l of Teplik — before his drawing-close to Admoyr z"l he was renowned, and many people from numerous towns would give him pidyonos [redemption payments]. And afterwards when he recognized the truth of Admoyr z"l, he abandoned and distanced from himself the practice of his renown — and accepted upon himself the yoke of the service of Hashem, may He be blessed, with sincerity and simplicity. And he did not turn his face away even from all the humiliations and shames that came upon him on account of this — and he returned to Hashem with all his heart and soul, like the other men of Admoyr z"l.
## Segment 34
כח
ר' מֶענְדִּיל זַ"ל מִכְּפָר הַסָּמוּךְ לִטְשֶׁערִין הָיָה אִישׁ עוֹסֵק בְּמַשָּׂא וּמַתָּן כָּל יָמָיו, וְיִרְאָתוֹ וַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ וּבִפְרָט עֲבוֹדַת הַתְּפִלָּה שֶׁלּוֹ הָיָה נִשְׂגָּב וְעָצוּם מְאֹד. כִּי הָיָה מִתְפַּלֵּל בִּמְסִירַת נַפְשׁוֹ וּבִדְבֵקוּת נִפְלָא עַד שֶׁמַּמָּשׁ נִתְבַּטֵּל גַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ, וּפַעַם אַחַת נִתְעוֹרֵר דְּלֵקָה בְּבֵיתוֹ וְהוּא עָמַד אָז בְּאֶמְצַע תְּפִלָּתוֹ בִּדְבֵקוּת גָּדוֹל וְנוֹרָא וּבְבִטּוּל כָּל הַרְגָּשׁוֹת עַד שֶׁלֹּא רָאָה וְלֹא שָׁמַע כְּלָל אֶת קוֹל הָרַעַשׁ שֶׁנִּתְעוֹרֵר מֵאַנְשֵׁי בֵּיתוֹ וּמִשְּׁאָר אֲנָשִׁים שֶׁעָמְדוּ שָׁם. עַד שֶׁהֻכְרְחוּ אֵיזֶה עֲרֵלִים שֶׁהָיוּ אָז בְּבֵיתוֹ לִקַּח אוֹתוֹ בְּיָדָיו וּלְהוֹלִיכוֹ עַד לְמֵרָחוֹק, וְשָׁם עָמַד, וְלֹא זָז מִמְּקוֹמוֹ וּמִדְבֵקוּתוֹ עַד שֶׁגָּמַר אֶת
הַתְּפִלָּה:
Siman 28. כח Reb Mendil z"l — Carried Out of His Burning House Mid-Prayer. Reb Mendil z"l from the village near Tsherin — he was a man who engaged in commerce all his days. And his fear of G-d, his divine service, and especially his service of prayer, were very lofty and immense. For he would pray with literal self-sacrifice [ mesiras nefesh ] and with wondrous devotion [ dveykus ] — to the point that his corporeality was literally nullified. And once a fire broke out in his house — and he was then standing in the middle of his prayer with great and awesome devotion and with nullification of all sensation — to the point that he neither saw nor heard at all the sound of the tumult that arose from the members of his household and from the other people who were there. Until some gentiles who were then in his house were compelled to take him by his hands and lead him far away. And there he stood — and did not budge from his place or from his devotion until he finished the prayer.
## Segment 35
כט
גַּם תַּבְעֵרַת הַלֵּב בַּעֲבוֹדַת ה' שֶׁל רַבִּי אַהֲרֹן וְרַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ מִזְּשֶׁערִין אֵין לְשַׁעֵר, וְכֵן שְׁאָר כָּל אֲנָשָׁיו כְּמוֹ רַבִּי נַפְתָּלִי זַ"ל מִנֶּעמְרוֹב, וְרַבִּי יְחִיאֵל אָחִיו, וְהָרַב רַבִּי אַהֲרֹן זַ"ל מִבְּרַסְלֶב, הָרַב רַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל יִצְחָק זַ"ל מִטְּשֶׁערִין, הָרַב רַבִּי יְשַׁעְיָה שָׁלוֹם זַ"ל מִמֶּעדְוֶועדוּבְקָא, הָרַב רַבִּי יִצְחָק זַ"ל מֵחַארְשְׁטְשִׁיוַועטֶע, הָרַב ר' עִירָא זַ"ל (שֶׁהָיָה אַחַר־כָּךְ בִּמְדִינַת וָואלֶכְיָיא), הָרַב ר' דָּוִד זַ"ל מִלַּאדִיזֶען, הָרַב ר' מָרְדְּכַי זַ"ל מִטֶּעפְּלִיק, רַבִּי גֵּרְשׁוֹן נֶכֶד הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל, רַבִּי יִצְחָק חֲתַן הַמַּגִּיד זַ"ל, רַבִּי יִצְחָק מִדַּאשִׁיב, רַבִּי קְהָת מִטִּירְהָאוִויצֶע, רַבִּי זְאֵב מִטִּירְהָאוִויצֶע, רַבִּי אַבָּא שׁוֹחֵט וּבוֹדֵק מִטְּשֶׁערִין, רַבִּי זַלְמָן מִנֶּעמְרוֹב, וּשְׁאָר אַנְשֵׁי הָעֲבוֹדָה שֶׁבְּאֲנָשָׁיו הַנֶּאֱמָנִים וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לְהַעֲלוֹת עַל הַכְּתָב גֹּדֶל יְקָר מַעֲלַת כָּל אֶחָד וְעֹצֶם רִבּוּיָם בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה עַד עֵת פְּטִירָתָם זַ"ל יִקְצְרוּ הָמוֹן יְרִיעוֹת לְסַפֵּר.
Siman 29. כט The Roll-Call of the Holy Men — "To Tell of Their Praises, Multitudes of Sheets Would Fall Short". Also the blazing of heart in the service of Hashem of Reb Aharon and Reb Yehoshua of Zsherin is beyond all measure. And similarly all his other men — such as Reb Naftoli z"l of Nemirov, and his brother Reb Yechiel, and the Rav Reb Aharon z"l of Breslov, the Rav Reb Shmuel Yitzchak z"l of Tsherin, the Rav Reb Yeshaya Sholem z"l of Medvedevka, the Rav Reb Yitzchak z"l of Charshtshevateh, the Rav Reb Ira z"l [who was afterwards in the land of Valachia], the Rav Reb Dovid z"l of Ladizhen, the Rav Reb Mordechai z"l of Teplik, Reb Gershon the grandson of the Maggid z"l, Reb Yitzchak the son-in-law of the Maggid z"l, Reb Yitzchak of Dashiv, Reb Kehas of Tirhovitza, Reb Ze'ev of Tirhovitza, Reb Abba the shochet and bodek [ritual slaughterer and inspector] of Tsherin, Reb Zalman of Nemirov — and the rest of the men of divine service who were among his faithful men. It is impossible to commit to writing the greatness of the preciousness of the level of each and every one, and the immense multitude of their [devotion in] Torah and prayer until the time of their passing z"l — multitudes of sheets would fall short to recount it.
## Segment 36
ל
וְכֵן אַנְשֵׁי הַמַּשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁבַּאֲנָשָׁיו כְּמוֹ הַנַּ"ל בְּאוֹת י"ז י"ט כ"ח, וּכְמוֹ רַבִּי נְתַנְאֵל מִטֶּעפְּלִיק וְרַבִּי שְׁמוּאֵל מִטֶּעפְּלִיק, וְהַנָּגִיד רַבִּי לֵיבּ מִקְּרוּמִינְטְשַׁק וּבְנוֹ רַבִּי יִצְחָק אַיְיזִיק חֲתָנוֹ שֶׁל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְכֵן רַבִּי יוֹסֵף חֲתָנוֹ הַשֵּׁנִי, ר' יִשְׂרָאֵל מִלִּיפִּיוֶועץ, רַבִּי אַיְיזִיק מִלִּיפִּיוֶועץ, רַבִּי חַיִּים שָׂארֶעס מִבְּרַסְלֶב, רַבִּי יַעֲקֹב מִבְּרַסְלֶב, ר' דָּוִד מִבְּרַסְלֶב, ר' זֵיילִיג מִבְּרַסְלֶב, ר' יִשְׂרָאֵל מִבְּרַסְלֶב, ר' צְבִי גִּיסוֹ שֶׁל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, ר' מֵאִיר, ר' אַבְרָהָם מִכְּפָר נָאוְושֶׁעלִיץ, ר' רְאוּבֵן יוֹסֵף, ר' מֹשֶׁה יִצְחָק מִטִּירְהָאוִויצֶע, ר' מֹשֶׁה וְר' גֶּעצִיל מִלַּאדִיזֶען, ר' לֵיבּ אַפְּטֶער, ר' עוֹזֵר מִלַּאדִיזֶען, ר' יוֹאֵל חָנָה מִלַּאדִיזֶען, ר' מַתִּתְיָהוּ מִלַּאדִיזֶען, ר' דֹּב חַיָּיאלֶעס, ר' אַהֲרֹן מִדַּאשִׁיב, וְר' מֹשֶׁה מִדַּאשִׁיב, וְרַבִּי שָׁלוֹם מִדַּאשִׁיב, וּשְׁאָר אַנְשֵׁי הַמַּשָּׂא וּמַתָּן שֶׁהָיוּ מְקֹרָבִים אֶל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל, רֻבָּם כְּכֻלָּם הָיוּ אֲנָשִׁים כְּשֵׁרִים וִיקָרִים וְנַפְשָׁם נִכְסְפָה גַּם כָּלְתָה לַעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְקָבְעוּ עִתִּים לְתוֹרָה וְלִתְפִלָּה כָּל אֶחָד כְּפִי יְכָלְתּוֹ וְאֶפְשָׁרוּתוֹ. וּלְבָאֵר עַל הַכְּתָב הַמַּעֲלוֹת וְהָעֲבוֹדוֹת שֶׁל כָּל אֶחָד יִקְצְרוּ הָמוֹן יְרִיעוֹת לְסַפֵּר, אַשְׁרֵי לָהֶם:
Siman 30. ל The Men of Commerce — A Long Roll-Call of Faithful Disciples. And so too the men of commerce among his people — as mentioned above in sections 17, 19, 28 — and such as Reb Nesanel of Teplik and Reb Shmuel of Teplik, and the Nagid [magnate] Reb Laib of Krumintshak and his son Reb Yitzchak Aizik the son-in-law of Admoyr z"l, and likewise Reb Yosef his second son-in-law, Reb Yisroel of Lipivetz, Reb Aizik of Lipivetz, Reb Chaim Sores of Breslov, Reb Yaakov of Breslov, Reb Dovid of Breslov, Reb Zelig of Breslov, Reb Yisroel of Breslov, Reb Tzvi his [ Admoyr's ] brother-in-law, Reb Meir, Reb Avrohom of the village Navshelitz, Reb Reuven Yosef, Reb Moshe Yitzchak of Tirhovitza, Reb Moshe and Reb Getzil of Ladizhen, Reb Laib Apter, Reb Ozer of Ladizhen, Reb Yoel Chono of Ladizhen, Reb Matisyahu of Ladizhen, Reb Dov Chayyoles, Reb Aharon of Dashiv, and Reb Moshe of Dashiv, and Reb Sholem of Dashiv — and the rest of the men of commerce who were close to Admoyr z"tl. The majority — virtually all of them — were proper and precious people, and their souls yearned and even burned with longing for the service of Hashem, may He be blessed. And they set fixed times for Torah and for prayer, each one according to his ability and means. To set down in writing the virtues and the divine service of each one — multitudes of sheets would fall short to recount it. Fortunate are they!
## Segment 37
לא
ר' עוֹזֵר זַ"ל מֵאוּמֶן הָיָה בִּתְחִלָּה מִכַּת הַמִּתְנַגְּדִים, וְאַחַר־כָּךְ הָיָה הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בְּעֶזְרוֹ לְהַכִּיר אֶת אֲמִתַּת מוֹרֵנוּ מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל עַד שֶׁנִּבְעַר לְבָבוֹ מְאֹד מְאֹד לְהִתְקָרֵב אֵלָיו, וְהָלַךְ מִיָּד עַל צִיּוּן אַדְמוֹ"ר וּפִיֵּס אוֹתוֹ בִּבְכִיָּה וּצְעָקָה גְּדוֹלָה עַל כָּל דְּבָרָיו אֲשֶׁר דִּבֵּר מִקֹּדֶם. וְכַאֲשֶׁר נוֹדַע הַדָּבָר לִבְנֵי מִשְׁפַּחְתּוֹ שֶׁהָיוּ מֵהַחֲסִידִים הַחֲשׁוּבִים וְהַנִּכְבָּדִים שֶׁבָּעִיר, רָצוּ לַהֲרֹג אוֹתוֹ בֶּאֱמֶת וּבִפְשִׁיטוּת. וְתֵכֶף וּמִיָּד רָץ אֶחָד מֵאַנְשֵׁי שְׁלוֹמֵנוּ וְהוֹדִיעַ לוֹ שֶׁיִּבְרַח מִיָּד לְעִיר אַחֶרֶת הַסְּמוּכָה. וְיָשַׁב שָׁם בֵּין אַנְשֵׁי שְׁלוֹמֵנוּ עַד שֶׁנִּתְקָרֵר אַפָּם וַחֲמָתָם מֵעָלָיו, וְחָזַר וּבָא לְבֵיתוֹ לְשָׁלוֹם:
Siman 31. לא Reb Ozer z"l of Uman — From Fierce Opponent to Devoted Follower; His Family Seeks to Kill Him. Reb Ozer z"l of Uman — at first he was of the camp of those who opposed [ misnagdim ]. And afterwards Hashem, may He be blessed, helped him to recognize the truth of our master, Moharan"as z"l — until his heart burned very greatly with desire to draw close to him. And he went immediately to the gravestone [ tziyun ] of Admoyr [in Uman] and appeased him with great weeping and outcry over all that he had said [against Breslov] previously. And when it became known to the members of his family — who were of the important and distinguished Chassidim of the city — they literally and simply wanted to kill him. And immediately one of our fellowship ran and informed him that he should flee at once to another nearby city. And he sat there among our fellowship until their anger and fury over him cooled — and he returned and came home in peace.
## Segment 38
לב
עוֹד סִפֵּר לִי אֶחָד מִיּוֹדְעָיו וּמַכִּירָיו שֶׁבָּחַר לוֹ פַּעַם אַחַת אֵיזֶה מָקוֹם מִחוּץ לָעִיר סָמוּךְ לְהַנָּהָר הַהוֹלֵךְ שָׁם, וְהָיָה יוֹשֵׁב שָׁם כָּל יְמוֹת הַשָּׁבוּעַ מִמּוֹצָאֵי שַׁבַּת קֹדֶשׁ עַד עֶרֶב שַׁבָּת, וּבְמוֹצָאֵי שַׁבַּת קֹדֶשׁ כְּשֶׁהָלַךְ לְשָׁם לָקַח עִמּוֹ קְצָת לֶחֶם כְּפִי שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ בְּדֹחַק גָּדוֹל לְכָל יְמֵי הַשָּׁבוּעַ לֶחֶם צַר וּמַיִם לַחַץ. וּמֵעֵת קוּמוֹ עַד שָׁכְבוֹ לֹא מָשׁוּ שְׂפָתָיו מִצְּעָקָה וּתְפִלָּה וְתוֹרָה וְשִׂמְחָה וְכוּ'. וּפַעַם אַחַת מְצָאוּהוּ שָׁם עֲרֵלִים וַיִּקְחוּהוּ וַיָּבִיאוּ אוֹתוֹ לָעִיר. וְהוּא לֹא הִבִּיט גַּם עַל זֶה כִּי לֹא הִתְבַּיֵּשׁ מִשּׁוּם אָדָם. וּמוֹרֵנוּ מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל אָמַר עָלָיו שֶׁהוּא קִיֵּם בִּשְׁלֵמוּת מַאֲמַר חֲכָמֵינוּ זַ"ל (בְּרָכוֹת ס"ג) "הַמְנַבֵּל עַצְמוֹ עַל דִּבְרֵי תּוֹרָה" וְכוּ' אַשְׁרֵי לוֹ:
אָמַר הַמַּעְתִּיק:
וְכֵן כָּל הָאֲנָשִׁים שֶׁנִּתְקָרְבוּ לְהַמְקֹרָבִים שֶׁל אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל בִּפְרָט אוֹתָם שֶׁנִּתְקָרְבוּ לְמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל וְקִיְּמוּ וְעָשׂוּ כְּפִי מַה שֶּׁהוֹרָה אוֹתָם מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בְּדַרְכֵי אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל וּבַעֲצוֹתָיו הַקְּדוֹשׁוֹת, כֻּלָּם בָּעֲרוּ לְבָבָם לַעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ וְהָיוּ צַדִּיקִים גְּמוּרִים, כְּמוֹ ר' יִצְחָק דֹּב מִטֶּעפְּלִיק אֲשֶׁר בִּתְחִלָּה יָשַׁב בְּטִירְהָאוִויצֶע, אֲשֶׁר אֲפִלּוּ כָּל הַמִּתְנַגְּדִים הֵעִידוּ וְהִגִּידוּ שֶׁהָיָה צַדִּיק תָּמִים. וּפַעַם אַחַת אָמַר עַל עַצְמוֹ כְּשֶׁהוּא בָּא עַל צִיּוּן אַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל, מוֹשְׁכִין אוֹתוֹ בְּכַנְפֵי כְּסוּתוֹ: יִצְחָק בֶּער עֲשֵׂה תְּשׁוּבָה. וְהָיָה נוֹסֵעַ בְּכָל עֶרֶב רֹאשׁ
חֹדֶשׁ עַל צִיוּנוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ.
וַאֲנִי הַכּוֹתֵב (הַמְאַסֵּף) שָׁמַעְתִּי מֵאָבִי הָרַב ר' זֶעלִיג זַ"ל שֶׁשָּׁמַע מֵר' יִצְחָק דֹּב הַנַּ"ל אֲשֶׁר חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים קֹדֶם הִסְתַּלְּקוּתוֹ כְּשֶׁשָּׁכַב עַל מִטָּתוֹ לִישֹׁן, בָּא אֵלָיו אֶחָד וְאָמַר לוֹ בְּזֶה הַלָּשׁוֹן: "קוּם הִגִּיעַ קִצְּךָ", וְהֵקִיץ מִשְּׁנָתוֹ בְּבֶהָלָה וּפַחַד גָּדוֹל עַד שֶׁמֵּחֲמַת הַפַּחַד נָפַל לְמִשְׁכָּב וְשָׁכַב בְּחָלְיוֹ אֵיזוֹ יָמִים וְחָזַר לְאֵיתָנוֹ. וְאָז סִפֵּר זֹאת וְאָמַר שֶׁבִּקֵּשׁ מֵהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיַּאֲרִיךְ לוֹ עוֹד אֵיזֶה זְמַן כְּדֵי שֶׁיּוּכַל לַעֲשׂוֹת תְּשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה. וְאַחַר־כָּךְ כִּכְלוֹת חֹדֶשׁ יָמִים מִזְּמַן הַמַּרְאֶה נִגְוַע וַיֵּאָסֵף אֶל עַמָּיו בְּשֵׁם טוֹב (בִּשְׁנַת תרי"ד). וְכֵן ר' מֵאִיר מִטֶּעפְּלִיק וְרַבִּי אֶפְרַיִם בֶּן רַבִּי נַפְתָּלִי זַ"ל וְרַבִּי יִצְחָק בֶּן מוֹרֵנוּ מוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל וְרַבִּי נַחְמָן מִטּוּלְטְשִׁין, וְרַבִּי אַבָּא בר"ש מִטְּשֶׁעהְרִין וְרַבִּי אַבְרָהָם דֹּב נֶכֶד אַדְמוֹ"ר זַ"ל, וְהָרַב רַבִּי נַחְמָן מִטְּשֶׁערִין זַ"ל בַּעַל הַמְחַבֵּר וּמְלַקֵּט סֵפֶר לְשׁוֹן חֲסִידִים וְדֶרֶךְ חֲסִידִים וְלִקּוּטֵי עֵצוֹת הֶחָדָשׁ וּשְׁאָר סְפָרִים וְהַרְבֵּה סְפָרִים שֶׁלֹּא נִדְפְּסוּ עֲדַיִן, וְכֵן כָּל הָאֲנָשִׁים שֶׁנִּתְקָרְבוּ בֶּאֱמֶת לְמוֹהֲרַנַ"ת זַ"ל בִּלּוּ כָּל הַיָּמִים לְרַבּוֹת הַלֵּילוֹת רַק בְּתוֹרָה וּתְפִלָּה וּתְשׁוּבָה וּמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים וְהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת. אַשְׁרֵי לָהֶם
וְאַשְׁרֵי חֶלְקָם:
Siman 32. לב Reb Ozer — A Week Alone by the River; "He Fulfilled — 'One Who Degrades Himself for Words of Torah'". One of his acquaintances and those who knew him further related to me that he once chose for himself a certain place outside the city — near the river that flows there — and would sit there the entire weekdays, from Motzai Shabbos Kodesh [the night after Shabbos] until Erev Shabbos [Friday]. And on Motzai Shabbos Kodesh when he went there, he would take with him a small amount of bread — barely enough under great deprivation for all the weekdays — bread of constraint and water of affliction. And from his rising until his lying down, his lips did not cease from crying out and prayer and Torah and joy, etc. And once some gentiles found him there and took him and brought him to the city. And he paid no attention even to this — for he was not ashamed before any person. And our master, Moharan"as z"l, said of him that he had fulfilled in perfection the saying of our Sages z"l [Berachos 63b] : "One who degrades himself for words of Torah" etc. Fortunate is he! The Compiler says: And likewise all the people who drew close to those who were close to Admoyr z"l — and especially those who drew close to Moharan"as z"l and fulfilled and acted according to what Moharan"as z"l guided them in the ways of Admoyr z"tl and his holy counsels — all of them had their hearts blazing for the service of Hashem, may He be blessed, and were complete Tzadikim. Such as Reb Yitzchak Dov of Teplik who at first lived in Tirhovitza — regarding whom even all the misnagdim testified and declared that he was a complete and perfect Tzadik. And once he said of himself, when he came to the gravestone [ tziyun ] of Admoyr z"tl, that they were pulling him by the corners of his garment, saying: "Yitzchak Ber, do teshuvah !" And he would travel every eve of Rosh Chodesh to his holy gravestone. And I the writer [the collector] heard from my father, the Rav Reb Zelig z"l, who heard from Reb Yitzchak Dov mentioned above, that one month before his passing — when he lay down in his bed to sleep — someone came to him and said to him in these words: "Arise! Your end has arrived." And he woke from his sleep with great fright and fear — to the point that from the fright he fell ill and lay in his illness for some days, and then recovered. And then he related this — and said that he had besought Hashem, may He be blessed, to extend for him some more time so that he could do a complete teshuvah . And afterwards, when the month from the time of the vision was completed, he expired and was gathered to his people with a good name [in the year 5614]. And likewise Reb Meir of Teplik, and Reb Efraim the son of Reb Naftoli z"l, and Reb Yitzchak the son of our master Moharan"as z"l, and Reb Nachman of Tultshin, and Reb Abba bar Reb Sh. of Tshehrin, and Reb Avrohom Dov the grandson of Admoyr z"l, and the Rav Reb Nachman of Tsherin z"l the author and compiler of the books Leshon Chassidim , Derech Chassidim , Likutay Aytzos HeChodosh , and other books — and many books that have not yet been printed. And so too all the people who in truth drew close to Moharan"as z"l — they spent all their days, and numerous nights as well, only in Torah and prayer and teshuvah and good deeds and hisbodidus . Fortunate are they and fortunate is their portion! Outlines of the Signs and Wonders Witnessed from Admoyr z"tl רָאשֵׁי פְּרָקִים מִן הָאוֹתוֹת וְהַמּוֹפְתִים שֶׁנִּרְאוּ מֵאַדְמוֹ"ר זַצַ"ל Preface — Reishis Dovor [The Beginning of the Matter] And now, in passing, I will also set before the student some outlines of the signs and wonders that were witnessed from Admoyr z"tl. For as, praise be to G-d, all my days I grew up among the sages in the wisdom of sincerity and simplicity — and these are the men of Moharan"as z"l who abandoned their honor with every manner of abandonment for the sake of truth. [And they accepted upon themselves every manner of disgrace and shame and every manner of insults and revilings and humiliations beyond measure and reckoning — and all the more so during the blazing of the controversy that was upon them in the year 5595 [1835 C.E.], in which every single one of them was in literal danger of being killed. For the common saying then at the Russian court was: "Mit tzehn toyzind kerblich farraybt men alding" — "With ten thousand kerblichs [coins] one can accomplish everything." And the opponents had more than enough money for this — for they considered the killing of one of his men z"l to be a mitzva of the highest order. For so the known oppressor had commanded and ordered them — and had written and sent letters to oppress them, pursue them, destroy them, and annihilate them.] It is a mitzva and an obligation upon me to make known to the coming generations their words that I heard from their mouths. For the great truth of their words has not been hidden from me — and it is clear to me as the day and as the sun — and I know that in righteousness and in uprightness are all the utterances of their mouths. And they are set apart from [their opponents] as light from darkness literally. [And after all these — even the things that I heard from them in the manner of a chain of transmission, mouth to mouth — where I do not know well enough who the people were through whom the story reached me — these I was not willing to write, for fear of the errors common in such stories. See what is known from the words of Moharan"as z"l regarding the saying of our Sages z"l that permitted the writing down of the Oral Torah. And therefore I noted next to each and every story the names of the people from whose mouths I heard it.] Of the stories written in the books that appeared recently — Adas Tzadikim , Kehal Chassidim , Pe'er MiKedoshim , Shivchay HaTzadikim — [and even though there are brought in them many stories from the Baal Shem Tov z"tl and from other true Tzadikim, of whom it is in truth visible that they reveal awesome things in the overturning of nature and foreknowledge of the future — but not like the stories written in those books mentioned, of which the majority of stories [are told] at the time of the wine-feast, where the teller is standing between the third and fourth cup and the listener is sitting and dozing — to the point that more than nine-tenths of them are falsehood, and the small amount of truth is compounded and changed and altered and mixed. With the exception of Shivchay Baal Shem Tov — it is true from beginning to end, as I heard this from the mouth of my father, may I be his atonement, who related it in the name of Admoyr z"tl — except that regarding some very small portion of them he said that they were not written correctly] — and from the rest of the stories that have gone from mouth to mouth and from ear to ear among the tale-bearers who have multiplied in these times: Behold, Admoyr z"l — in the greatness and immensity of the sweetness of his pleasant words to strengthen, and to arouse, and to revive, and to restore all the fallen souls — even had he been permitted to [openly] perform wonders, free choice would have been entirely nullified. And in truth it is precisely on this account that he was restrained from [performing open] wonders. And also when he did perform some wondrous thing, he afterwards besought Hashem, may He be blessed, that the matter should be forgotten [as brought in Sichos HaRan , section 186] . And were I not fearful, I would say that this very thing — that Hashem, may He be blessed, placed in the heart of Moharan"as z"l not to elaborate the stories of his holy wonders [except in a few places where some slipped out from under his pen — such as: the foreknowing of the future concerning the extension of the time of the drought by two years; in Sichos HaRan section 185, regarding the overpowering of illness, may the Merciful One protect us, in the year 5567; there in the same section: regarding the death of the girl Sara Esther; there in the conversations [ hashmasos ], section 5: and what he said about himself, that if the book should be burned he would have a reprieve to live some more time; in Chayay Moharan , in the story of his journey to Lemberg, section 3 — see there; also the foreknowing of the future and the overturning of nature regarding the healing of the hand; in Sichos HaRan section 186; and regarding the healing of a sick person through the recitation of Shir HaShirim near the break of dawn; there in section 242: and regarding the visitation of the barren woman, there section 252: and regarding the healing of the sick woman who was near death and whose soul nearly departed; in Chayay Moharan in the conversations attached to the Torah teachings, section 52 — see there] — for it is not in these that His praise lies [as brought there in the conversations — see there] — this very thing itself is on account of the prayer of Admoyr z"l mentioned above having taken effect — that Hashem, may He be blessed, placed it so in his [ Moharan"as's ] heart, as mentioned, so that [the wonders] would be forgotten from the heart, as mentioned. And as indeed by now most of them have been forgotten on account of this. But despite all this, I took pity on the remnant of their survivors that had not yet been forgotten — and I set it to my heart to commit to writing at least some outlines of this, so that it should be a memorial for the men of our fellowship who are aware of these matters. — Translator's Note: Summary of Sections יז–לב and the Roshay Prakim Preface — Sections 17–32 complete the gallery of the Men of Moharan — the holy disciples of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. Each portrait is a gem. Reb Shimon (17–18): a merchant-mystic who practiced hisbodidus in forests by day and night, and burned his own Torah writings rather than see them published. Reb Dov of Tsherin (19–21): the faithful payer of his a fifth (chomesh) who, on his deathbed, expressed serene confidence before the Heavenly Court; his painful story of near-misses before drawing close, and the Rebbe's counterintuitive counsel — "sleep and eat, only guard your time." Reb Yudel and Reb Shmuel Aizik (22–23): who walked two hundred miles on foot to reach the Rebbe, and experienced the famous repeated cycling of awe-and-reassurance that was the Rebbe's unique mode of opening the heart. The Maggid of Tirhovitza and Reb Yitzchak his son-in-law (24): raised in Reb Zusya's household, guided to the Rebbe by Reb Zusya's dying words. Reb Yitzchak Aizik (25–26): commanded a full year of total silence; the Rebbe who rode through the night to defend him before his hostile father-in-law; the Torah revealed in a dream; the luminous death. Reb Yitzchak Yehuda (27): who renounced his renown for simplicity. Reb Mendil (28): carried out of his burning house mid-prayer by gentiles, never losing his dveykus . Section 29 is a formal roll-call of the men of divine service; section 30 a roll-call of the men of commerce — together naming over forty disciples by name and city. Reb Ozer (31–32): who went from fierce opponent to devotee, fled his murderous family, and spent his weeks alone by the river on bread and water, lips never ceasing from Torah and prayer. The Roshay Prakim preface is extraordinary: the author's declaration of why he writes — obligation to future generations; his testimony to the absolute truth of his sources; the historical notice of the murderous persecution of 5595 (1835); his careful methodology of citing sources by name; his analysis of the Rebbe's restraint from open miracles (lest free will be nullified); and the poignant observation that the Rebbe himself prayed that his wonders be forgotten — and they were, mostly. The author preserves what remains.