Tape 3G, Side Aleph

this — and moreover a great strengthening from this dream — that "there is no despair in the world at all." I had already fallen into the pit and I had nothing — with no hope at all — and there is water! (Saba laughs.) And also — what, what Rabbainu revealed. Oy voy — oy voy — what… what the holy Rabbainu made from simple souls — completely distant — completely distant from Torah, from Yiddishkait. {These were} coarse people — who did not know even the scent of Torah — they did not know. And when they drew close to Rabbainu, there were made from them such holy tzaddikim as had never been — beyond, beyond nature. (Saba laughs.)

This is a new matter. And one sees — Dovid HaMelech — Dovid HaMelech in Tehillim — all of Tehillim: "Mizmor, Mizmor, Mizmor" — "L'Dovid Mizmor" — "LaMenatzayach l'Dovid Mizmor" — "Mizmor." There is — there is "Mizmor" and there are several modes of — of — of speech. Oy. Yoy. Oy, oy, oy. And also "Mizmor shiru laShem shir chadash" — "a new song." Dovid HaMelech did not say — he said: "a new song." He is entirely new — he is new. "A new song" — the holy Rabbainu is the "new song." The holy Rabbainu is this song. And here in the Petek — Rabbainu reveals a small — a slight thing: "Na Nach." (Saba laughs.) Yes. Sixty years I did not know of this. I only knew that this is a wonder — that this revives me — that this… Yes. Every time it fell upon me — when I had fallen — I took the Petek and read it. And I was — and there came about — and there came about a different matter. And there came about "a new song." (Saba laughs.) Oy, oy, oy. And like this there are many "new songs" — "new song" — "new song." Dovid HaMelech — he is Rabbainu — this… The holy Rabbainu is — the holy Rabbainu surpassed all the tzaddikim — all the tzaddikim that were from the day the world was created.

This is a wondrous matter of the Holy One Blessed Be He — that then there should be — that… in the final generations — what there will be — what, what there will be — some heresy, some falsehood, some deeds. And the Holy One Blessed Be He saw and knew. So He knew: ah — in the final generations? The holy Rabbainu must — must descend into this world. Rabbainu Rebbe Nachman — his soul — in this world. If not, Heaven forfend — there would be such destruction as — without any hope. Only Rabbainu. (Saba laughs.)

And the holy Rabbainu already hinted at this in the Ma'asiyos — that they led a soul to immerse it — so that it should descend into this world. Yes. So came — so came the Sam — the Angel of Death — the yetzer hara — the evil one argued. He had arguments. There is a Din Torah — what is this? Is this ownerless? He said: "What — what? If this soul descends into the world — then I have nothing — I have nothing to do — nothing at all. And is it — is it for naught…" He — he argued: "Was I created for naught? For what purpose were you created? Then I have nothing — I have nothing to do — nothing at all." Yes. And they went — afterwards he… They said to him: the soul must descend into the world! And you — and you — devise a strategy for yourself, devise a strategy!" (Saba laughs.) So, so he — he went to think of a strategy. He returned, he said: "I already have a strategy! (Saba laughs.) Yes. He said… He can descend — Breslov — there will be such a machlokes!" (Saba laughs.)

Such words — this is in Chayay Moharan in print. But not — no, no, no, no — the world does not feel it. The world is so coarse that even the great ones — even geonim — do not feel what there is in this, what… Yes. How — how do they have a share in this — in Breslov? Yes. Each one according to — according to his mesiras nefesh — according to, according to what he suffers…

He said to her: "Divorce, divorce, divorce." (Saba laughs.) Rebbe Nassan — we know nothing of how Rebbe Nassan and his people were able to live. There was such humiliation and such cruelty — even upon non-Jews there is no such cruelty — yes — Breslov! (Saba laughs.) Yes. Oy voy, voy. And I — and I merited to be such a warrior. I stood against great ones who were important and great in all the world. In Yerushalayim — Yerushalayim was a city of geonim — of great Torah scholars. And not every one was important or well-known. And Rav Moshe Klirs — he was known throughout the world and in Yerushalayim. And everyone held him in the highest regard — and they had (not understood). And his name was that he was a gaon and wise and learned and discerning — a tzaddik — an upright man. He had all the names, yes — that he was so great. And I knew of this — I was born in Teveria and he was the rabbi in Teveria. I had heard of this and knew of this. And I became Breslov — I drew close to Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner). (Saba laughs.)

So there were miracles for me. Rav Moshe Klirs says: "Not to be Breslov!" And my father says: "Not to be Breslov — what, are you mad? What — what is this? How, how can such a thing be?" (Saba laughs.) Yes. And Rav Motl of Slonim — Rav Motl — he was also great in Torah. Not — not — not as famous as Rav Klirs. Rav Klirs was famous in Yerushalayim — everyone held him in high regard and stood before him as before a king. Yes. This is a known and well-known thing. Yes. And he pursued me over Bre… over — over the fact that I was Breslov. Yes. And I was a warrior against Rav Moshe Klirs and against Rav Motl of Slonim.

Rav Motl was also great — a great gaon in Torah. But the talents of Rav Motl were greater than those of Rav Moshe Klirs. Yes. Because he was — he was exerted greatly until, until, until he reached his level. And Rav Motl did not need to exert himself — he only had to see a thing once in the Gemara, in the Midrash — he saw it only once — and he acquired it forever and ever. Yes. And Rav — and Rav Moshe Klirs — his grasp was not so — not as quick as Rav Motl — and he knew this himself. But he — he had a famous name in Yerushalayim and in all the world.

And I stood against him. I drew close to Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner). And he pursued me and spoke with me: "Breslov — we — we have heard from great ones, from holy tzaddikim — about Breslov." What? I had not heard — this — this is such a wondrous thing. (Saba laughs.) Yes. And Rav Motl — I was a poor child. And Rav Motl of Slonim — he — he was a great scholar. But he was also a lover of mitzvos like simple people — a mitzvah. Yes. Not like Rav… Rav Moshe Klirs — a mitzvah was small in his eyes — only genius, wisdom. But Rav Motl — he had both. He was also a lover of mitzvos. And — Teveria is a small city — he knew me. And also beyond that — Teveria is a small city — he… I — I found favor in his eyes. He saw me — that I was not talented. But my truth and my heart — he loved me very much. I was in his home as if at home — more than home, more than my own home. I came with him — I prayed with him and slept at his place and studied with him at night. Yes. And he… And there was such a bond between us. But I was a simple child and he was Rav Motl of Slonim — he was a gaon and great and wise — and wise. And I did not know — even — even as a gnat compared to him. Yes. Good. And there was great love between us — he studied with me — he loved me as — as his own son. And he had two daughters — the daughters were like my sisters.

Soroh and Feige. (Saba laughs.) My sisters. Yes. And I came with Rav Motl — they gave food in the morning, at noon — to Rav Motl. So they also brought for me as well — bread. Yes. I was like — like a son — an only son. Afterwards when I merited to draw close to Rabbainu — when I merited — Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) came to Teveria. The episode had already occurred — how I drew close to Rebbe Yisroel — it was that night. All night I was with Rebbe Yisroel in the synagogue of the students of the Baal Shem Tov. And all the city knew — because my mother was weeping and — in all the places — she searched for me in all the synagogues and cried: "My son, my son, my son." All the city came: "What? What?" They thought someone had passed away — someone had died. (Saba laughs.) They came: "What is all the weeping and shouting?" She — so she told: "A man came and bought bread, and he ate the bread in our home, and he took Yisroel Ber and he — and he went the whole night. I woke for work and Yisroel Ber is not here — is not here."

And this was the beginning of the battle. And the Turks were savage people — they — only if they saw that some person had hands and feet — hands and feet — they took him for the army. (Saba laughs.) Yes. So she thought: "Perhaps I have hands and feet — so perhaps they took me into the army." (Saba laughs.) She wept and the whole city was in an uproar. Ah — in the morning they saw me and Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner). So they said: "Oy voy — Yisroel Ber was the whole night with Rebbe Yisroel — so certainly he — he became Breslov. He was the whole night with Rebbe Yisroel." (Saba laughs.) Who — who had the courage to speak with a Breslov Chassid — or to read a Breslov book? He was afraid lest it should be — lest there should be even mere suspicion. So why {would learning this Torah} — he would not find a marriage match. (Saba laughs.)

And blessed be Hashem — I did not attend to this and did not look at anything. Rav Moshe Klirs and Rav Motl of Slonim and a marriage match — all of it — I gave everything — everything. Only what I saw — what Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) is — what is, what, what this is. Yes. (Saba laughs.) Until today I have this name. It is already eighty years since I drew close to Rebbe Yisroel and they were all such opponents. And I — and I — blessed be Hashem — received all the bullets — all — all the humiliations and all the troubles — with love and with great heroism. And they all were nullified from this. They saw my heroism. This is not in the natural order — they did not understand it.

And Rav Motl of Slonim — he thought — he — only he... I saw from Rav Motl that he was great in Torah and… yes. And I studied with him. Nu — this was a miracle. If he says "Breslov — no!" — then immediately… But I saw what I saw. I saw Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — I only saw him. The very first time in my life I did not know who he was — so I said: "Oy voy — this man is a tzaddik. I need him very much. If I could have some connection with him — I would — I would merit to serve Hashem in truth as I want. How — but how will I have a connection with him? He will buy the bread and pay and go — and how?"

So I — as I was thinking about — about — about a connection — if only I could have a connection with this man — with this tzaddik — so he asked me: "Perhaps it is possible for me to eat the bread at your home?" So I felt: "What is this? He knows what I am thinking — what I want? But — what is this? He has no — somewhere to sleep — to eat — what is this? Is this the place of a hotel?" (Saba laughs.)

In particular he — Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — saw the — the — the apartment of ours. It was like a cave — a cave. This, this, this… And inside the cave small children were sleeping. And they needed to bake the challah — on Thursday night they needed to bake the challah. Yes. And he asked: "Perhaps it is possible to eat the bread?" So there was — there was a wonder in my eyes: "How does he know what I think — what I want? Who — who said — who told him?" So, so thoughts arose in me: perhaps he is… But I wanted to ask the father. I — I cannot bring in a guest without asking the father. Nu — so I was afraid: "What are you asking the father? The father will strike you and despise you — what are you — you are asking such a thing? There is — there is — this is a cave and they need to bake bread. What are you asking such a thing?" (Saba laughs.) But I said: "Whatever will be — I will ask him." And I asked him. And he agreed. And what came about came about. All night I was with Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — in the lake — on a table in the lake. And from that night until now — blessed be Hashem — I hold my ground. Blessed be Hashem.

But what passed over me and over Rebbe Yisroel — what we suffered — Rebbe Yisroel: if one were to give him all the money in the world — for one day — he, he would give it, he would not want the money and would not want — would not want such a task. And he gave his soul for me. What? One person — Yisroel Ber — what will come of this? Will the redemption come from this? (Saba laughs.)

And he saw — this — how it was arranged. He descended from the donkey from Tzfas. He descended — in Teveria he descended from the donkey. So he met Rav Binyamin Barzal and asked him: "Show me where to buy bread." And he showed him to us. And from this came about — from this was built a structure for generations — for generation after generation — for the world — forever. This is a wonder — how I was to Rav Motl of Slonim as an only son — and I upheld him — I — I held him in high regard as a tzaddik and gaon and… yes, yes. And I saw — I slept at his place — I studied with him at night — and there was between us a bond of great love. Yes. And he said to me: "Breslov — Breslov — no!" He told me many things — he instilled poison against Breslov in me — what this one said — what that one said — what this one said. And I — and I — and I believed in all of them. If — if they say about Breslov this — but I saw Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner). This was — this had come about — I merited to such heroism as there is no such heroism in this world. Such heroism — how I stood against, against such great ones. Yes. And also against my father and my mother and against all the family. Yes. Everyone wept — everyone had great pity for me — what will become of him. "He has become Breslov — Yisroel Ber has become Breslov." (Saba laughs.)

Oy voy, oy voy. This — however much I tell — it still is not — still not even a drop from the sea — what, what, what happened. "Seeing is not like hearing." (Saba laughs.) In this I see that the main thing is mesiras nefesh for the sake of the Holy One Blessed Be He — for the sake of Torah. Wisdom is also good. But — but the main thing — the foundation and the main thing of Yiddishkait — the main thing of Torah — is mesiras nefesh — the strong will. And also the holy Rabbainu hinted at this and said. There is a conversation where Rabbainu says: "Give Me your hearts — and I will lead you on a new path." This is a very old path — one that our fathers never walked. And yet it is entirely new. Nu — one must give the heart. And blessed be Hashem — I, I gave all my life and my heart — the father and the mother and all the world — I gave everything for the sake of drawing close to Rabbainu.

This is a wonder — this is a very wondrous thing. So there was the chief rabbi of the city — the great rabbi of the city. In particular — Rav Klirs — everything he said had to be fulfilled immediately. And he said — he said to me: "Breslov — no!" (Saba laughs.) And I did not listen to him at all. Yes. And he — and he thought: "There is no one — whom I tell and who does not listen to me — that is only Yisroel Ber." (Saba laughs.)

And also the dream — the dream that I had after the passing of Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) — it was the dream of the waves — of… I was at sea and there were waves — such great waves — like mountains, mountains. I saw a mountain of water coming (not understood) — I thought — and it came in anger — straight at me — straight. And I said: "Oy voy — in a few more moments it — it will reach me. What will become of me? Then I will die — there is, there is no hope — yes — then I will die." And so it was — it rose in anger — in haste — and went to kill me — as one goes to kill. It fell upon me and… And I was completely despairing. But I saw that I — that I am rising over — over the mountain — that I am rising in the water — rising, rising — until I reached the end and stuck out my head and remained alive. I was able to breathe air and remained alive. Such a dream? Good — the wave passed and I remained alive. But I see a mountain — a new mountain — a new wave — coming like this. What will be now? And not every time do miracles occur. What will become of me now? Nu, what? How is it coming? It — it does not ask me — it comes toward me. A new mountain fell upon me. And also — also there was a miracle that I rose in the water over the mountain — until — until — until I stuck out my head from the — from — from the water — and remained alive. Nu — good. Blessed be Hashem — two times. But — but the sea does not — it is turbulent and — and going — waves continue coming. What will become of me? What will come of this? Not every time… I — I felt the danger of what I had — such waves, such mountains. (Saba laughs.)

Nu — I was despairing. I saw the danger — what, what, what there is — every time there is — I see miracles — I rise over the wave — I rise over the mountain — I rise from the water — until I reach the end and stick out my head and breathe — and I remain alive. But — but perhaps — perhaps now — let us see what will yet be. I saw — I saw and felt the danger — where I was. Suddenly I see a great building in the sea — not far from me — such a building — a great, beautiful building — such beauty. I said: "What is this? What? How can such a thing be? In the sea — are there buildings?" Suddenly I saw — I saw nothing at all — only the waves — and suddenly I saw in the sea a magnificent and great building — a building! I was astonished: "How is it possible? In the sea — in the sea there is — can there be a building?" But I see a building. So I thought: perhaps this is a hint — about — about that… about the fact that I — that I will merit to be saved from the sea. Because there is a building. Perhaps I will reach the building. I certainly made great efforts and could not reach the building. And I was almost next to the building — and a wave came and swept me away. And I was distanced from the building. What? So what will be? I have a place of rescue — but I cannot — cannot… I have no strength to reach the build… There is — there is no possibility at all of reaching the building. It is right next to me — and I — and it is impossible for me to reach the building…