Chapter 102

During this period much likewise passed over me on account of my children’s weakness and their pains, though with kindness and mercy. On the night leading into Monday of Parashas Reeh, my wife, may she live, developed a toothache. For almost the entire night she cried out with severe and bitter pain. Her pain was so intense that I truly feared it might injure her brain or damage her health entirely, Heaven forbid. I had hyssop, which I took and boiled in water. She took the liquid into her mouth and held it there for a time, and the severe pain subsided somewhat. Her head and eyes had already begun to ache from the intensity of the pain. She therefore rinsed her mouth several times with the hot hyssop water. During the most severe pain we likewise pleaded with Hashem, may He be blessed, amid weeping, that He spare us and quiet the pain, for it was truly a danger to life, Heaven forbid.

In sum, that night was one of great suffering for us, and we could only look to Hashem, may He be blessed, to heal her. Hashem, may He be blessed, helped, and the pain subsided somewhat. During the day it subsided completely. Although the pain subsequently began again many times, it was not nearly as severe. She likewise had a wound from which she suffered; she washed it with hot water and applied a bandage.

During the day my son, may his light shine, had sores and likewise suffered from severe chickenpox, until his entire face was filled with lesions and sores, may the Merciful One spare us. We had to labor to supervise him so that he would not scratch himself, for the sores might otherwise leave marks upon his face, Heaven forbid, as is known. Our anguish and suffering on account of the pain of his sores were likewise great. He cried out and wept, for he was a child who was weak by nature and could not bear the pain.

Above all, our trust was in Hashem: to beseech Him, to accept everything with love, and to know that sufferings scour away sins, purify the soul, and are entirely for the good. One must only beseech Hashem, saying that we have no strength to bear sufferings, and that Hashem possesses abundant mercy, so that without any suffering we may merit every good, both in this world and in the World to Come. Yet if, God forbid, the deliverance is delayed, one must look forward, wait, and accept it with love, as the Gemara states: “The remedy for suffering is acceptance and silence.”

Then my son, may his light shine, and my son Alter also began to suffer pain in their eyes. Alter was still exceedingly weak from his grave illness on Lag BaOmer, as related above, and had left the hospital on the twenty-fifth of Sivan, as stated above. They suffered for some time, and from day to day the eye disease and their pain intensified. My wife, may she live, obtained some remedy and put drops into their eyes; afterward, however, she became afraid to treat their diseased eyes herself and went with them to Dr. Ticho’s hospital. On the first occasion she paid several shillings, and he applied ointment to their eyes and also instilled drops. He said that their eyes were very seriously diseased and that she was compelled to bring them twice each day; each time, moreover, she had to pay three grush for each child.

It was also a labor for her to walk each day with the two children: she carried one in her arms and held the other by the hand as she went from the Old City to Ticho Hospital. There she sat and waited until she could enter the doctor’s room, and afterward she had to wait there until the second appointment as well, for it was a great exertion for her to return home and then go there once again.

In sum, this caused us great anguish and suffering. It was difficult for us to bear the children’s distress and pain throughout the entire day and night, and the pain in their eyes. The magnitude of the toil and hardship we endured from the children for several weeks, by day and by night, cannot be estimated. Our distress was also very great because of the grave danger to their eyes; we required mercy from Heaven that their eyesight should be preserved.

Great, too, was our exertion morning and evening—indeed, throughout the entire day and night—to bathe their eyes with cold boric water every ten minutes. We could not take pity upon them and allow them to sleep; at the very most, every quarter-hour we had to open their eyes and wash them as stated above, and every hour to instill drops. They would not permit it and cried bitterly, and we were compelled to suppress our compassion and torment them in this manner each time, day and night, without respite. We ourselves had no sleep in our eyes, and it was truly anguish of soul to behold this. A considerable time passed in this manner, until the doctor instructed us to come only once each day.

Even this was very difficult for her—to walk each day with the two children. We also had to tend the children throughout the entire day and night; there was also the money, six grush each day, that had to be paid; and there was the painful suffering of the children, who could not open their eyes. We had to take them into a dark place and employ various devices, even striking or frightening them so that they would open their eyes slightly, lest, God forbid, the black part of the eye be burned by the heat in their eyes. In sum, thank God, we suffered greatly from this, and our eyes looked toward Heaven, that He have pity and mercy upon us and speedily heal them completely with a perfect recovery.