Chapter 11

I took my tallis and tefillin, several oranges, a piece of bread, and several books. At home I offered some excuse, etc., and went to the Egged station. I waited there. The time at which they had told me they would leave had already passed, and I did not see them. I therefore experienced grief and suffering, for perhaps they had already departed. Nevertheless, I sat there and waited for some time, until they came; I rejoiced greatly when they did. We bought tickets and sat together in the automobile. I recited Tefillas HaDerech and Psalms, etc., until we reached Tel Aviv. We immediately boarded the automobile to Haifa and traveled as far as Haifa. By then I had only several grushim left of the money, because I had purchased a round-trip ticket, which was cheaper, etc. Now I still needed more than half a pound to reach Meron, etc. Where was I to obtain it?

When we reached Haifa they wished to continue immediately, but I wanted to delay a little so that I could seek the member of our fellowship. They did not wish to wait. We asked at the station, “How long will it be before an automobile departs for Tiberias?” They said approximately twenty minutes. I left my belongings with them and hurried off in panic and haste to find his address and home. I exerted myself greatly until I found his house. I found him at home, but he was speaking with several people; every moment was literally like a year to me. At last he greeted me and told me that he had sold a little, but that he had no money at present. I was quite literally shocked and frightened over what would come of this. In sum, I told him that he must lend me the money, without any excuses. Hashem helped me: he took half a pound that he was required to pay for rent and gave it to me.

I immediately hurried back, but feared that they might already have left, for more than half an hour had passed. I went in panic and haste, strayed somewhat from the way, and finally reached the Egged station, where I found them. They told me that it was a miracle for me that they had not departed: they had met the owner of an automobile from Safed who was returning home, and he would take them for the same sum charged by the large bus. They had therefore been delayed until I arrived. I was filled with joy, and we immediately sat in the automobile and traveled in gladness.

We traveled together by taxi to Tiberias, intending to lodge there. A dispute arose among us as to where to stay. They had a place to lodge, whereas I did not. I answered them that I would not move away or separate from them: “Is this how one treats traveling companions?” When we reached Tiberias, entered the Egged bus station, and prayed Minchah there, Hashem arranged that the same taxi in which we had traveled to Tiberias took us on to Safed. We arrived there toward evening.

Another dispute then arose among us concerning where to lodge in Safed. He said that he had an acquaintance who was in the hospital in Jerusalem and had sent greetings through him to his household, and that he would therefore lodge there. I explained to him that it would be better to lodge at the hachnasas orchim [guesthouse for wayfarers]: they received guests there with great honor, with a separate room and beds already made. It was also close to the buses and situated on a side road rather than in the well-known marketplaces.

People in Safed, when they see us Breslover Chassidim coming to the holy sites and to Meron, etc., regard us as madmen. The world understands that journeys should be undertaken only for business and trade and to earn money, etc. It does not understand traveling solely for the good of the neshama, and in particular traveling to the graves of tzaddikim and seeking guidance concerning the service of Hashem, prayer, and hisbodedus. Even those who understand the greatness of men who withdraw from work and occupy themselves exclusively with Torah understand this, at least, only as the study of Shas and poskim. But to set aside so much, exert oneself, spend money, and undertake journeys for matters of hisbodedus and for prostrating oneself at the graves of tzaddikim - this they do not understand at all.

According to the truth, however, and according to the words of Rabbainu, of blessed memory, the primary matter is hisbodedus and an accounting of the soul. These are attained to an ever greater degree at the graves of tzaddikim, for such places are especially conducive to them. In particular, at Meron, at the grave of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, may his merit protect us, amen, the awakening and self-nullification before Hashem are beyond all estimation or measure. Apart from the divine service that I merit there, in only a few days I accomplish more there in the service of Hashem than in several months at home.

Beyond this, there is the spiritual awakening that remains in my own mind each time I travel away from there. I am transformed into another person, and I feel within myself my lowliness and my distance from Hashem, blessed be He; all my aspiration is then toward prayer and the service of Hashem. I certainly merit very, very much each time I am there. In particular, I am able to express far more words of hisbodedus and prayer, with holy awakening and yearning from the depths of the heart. All the matters of this world are then nullified for me. It is then for me akin to an aspect of the World to Come and quite literally a taste of Gan Eden. It is therefore surely worthwhile for us to break through every kind of hindrance in the world.

But these people - the world, which does not experience this - regard us as madmen. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, on the contrary, teaches that a journey should be undertaken solely and specifically for matters of the soul: perhaps one will find someone with whom to engage in conversation about the service of Hashem; perhaps one will awaken him, or perhaps be awakened by his companion concerning the ultimate purpose.

Especially great is traveling to a tzaddik, for an angel is created from every step, and one elevates every place upon which one treads to the aspect of “above place.” (The same applies when one journeys to the Land of Israel: every step is exceedingly precious, etc.) Traveling for livelihood or trade, however, is, according to the words of Rabbainu, of blessed memory, an aspect of a deficiency and blemish in faith, Heaven forbid, for one does not believe that Hashem can provide for him in his own place without his having to undertake journeys for it, etc.

It was therefore better to lodge there in the guesthouse, because it lay off to the side, where people would not see us so readily and mock us. (Although the men with whom I then traveled were not Breslover Chassidim, they were not opponents; they were friendly and close to the Breslover Chassidim. Yet when the world saw them traveling together with me, people called them Breslovers as well. They were not entirely pleased by this, for they were ashamed of it, etc.)

I also explained to them that although I had relatives in Safed, I nevertheless did not lodge with them, because I did not wish to burden them on my account. I lodged only in the guesthouse, as stated above.