Chapter 112

Throughout this period we thought that R. Avraham was merely speaking of traveling but would not actually go. In the end, however, he departed early, before Shabbos. While we were praying together in the Shaarei Shamayim Yeshivah as stated above, he took leave of us and set out on his journey. He once again asked R. Yaakov Zev to travel, but R. Yaakov Zev answered that he could not, and so forth. R. Avraham separated from us and departed, while we remained for the Shabbos of Nitzavim-Vayeilech. On the first day of Selichos, R. Yaakov Zev led the prayers.

From the time R. Avraham and a small number of people departed, my conflicting opinions concerning what to do—whether to travel or not—grew still more intense, and I could devise no counsel for myself, and so forth. I spoke with several members of our fellowship, especially with every one of those who had been in Uman, and attempted to persuade them to travel as well. They answered with their arguments that this should not be done, and so forth. I replied that it was my desire and intention to travel and remain only for the eve of Rosh Hashanah, then return for Rosh Hashanah itself—a course that would be satisfactory according to every opinion, and so forth and so forth.

I also spoke with R. Moshe of Tshenstochov about the journey. He answered that he could not bring himself to travel for Rosh Hashanah; he would travel to Meron only for Yom Kippur. I then began speaking with several of those who intended to travel and appealing to them not to go, for by then my judgment had inclined toward not traveling. They, in turn, presented their view and arguments that it was good, fitting, and proper to make the journey.

I likewise spoke with R. Yisrael Dov and presented reasons not to travel. He inclined my judgment in precisely the opposite direction—toward traveling—and set forth his reasons. He had also received a tradition from R. Yisrael of Kardan, of blessed memory, that when it was impossible to travel to Uman for Rosh Hashanah, one ought to be in Meron with Rashbi—may his merit protect us—on Rosh Hashanah, and so forth. R. Yisrael Dov told me that he would break through every kind of obstacle and be there. His wife opposed him because of the livelihood, and also refused to assume responsibility for the children so that he could pray on Rosh Hashanah, and so forth; yet he paid no heed to any of this.

Even so, my own judgment inclined more strongly toward not traveling—or, if I did travel, toward returning for Rosh Hashanah, and so forth. This was the answer I gave all the members of our fellowship who asked what I intended to do, and so forth. At home, too, I told my wife that I would travel only on condition that I return for Rosh Hashanah, and so forth; such was indeed my intention.

On Monday night I was at the home of R. Tzvi Aryeh, and we discussed the matter together. I explained my opinion and my reasons for remaining only through the eve of Rosh Hashanah and returning for Rosh Hashanah itself. He too told me that he was bewildered and confused as to what to do, and that R. Avraham had caused us anguish by bringing such confusion into our minds. Nevertheless, he took up Likutay Halachos and showed me how it speaks of the greatness of spending Rosh Hashanah with true tzadikim who have already departed this world, of blessed memory, and so forth—more than it speaks of the importance of being at the largest gathering. Moreover, we had already tested being at the gathering for several years, whereas we had not yet tested this. Reason suggested that it would benefit us in several aspects of the service of Hashem. Although his legs were diseased and he could not walk to the mikveh, he would nevertheless exert himself to travel, and so forth.

I told him that I intended to travel, spend the eve of Rosh Hashanah there, and return after the prayer service for Rosh Hashanah itself. He laughed at me and said that this was impossible, and that R. Avraham would be incensed if I came for the eve of Rosh Hashanah and then departed from there, and so forth.

In sum, while I was in his home my mind became resolved that, one way or another, I would travel, if Hashem willed. Perhaps I would return for Rosh Hashanah, and if I could not, I would remain there. At any rate, I resolved to travel, and arranged with him that we would journey together early Tuesday morning.

On Monday I went to Meah Shearim to prepare myself for the matter and to seek money for the expenses. I visited R. Yisrael Dov and spoke with him once more about the journey. He remained firm in his judgment that one must travel to Meron for Rosh Hashanah, and so forth. I told him that I, too, was traveling. He was astonished, for only the day before I had spoken with him and had been exceedingly far from traveling, whereas now I was already prepared to go.

We discussed what we would do for food on Rosh Hashanah and on the Shabbos that immediately followed it. It was far too early to take food from home, and it would spoil. Moreover, I could not take food from home, for my wife, may she live, and the children, may they live, were certain that I would return for Rosh Hashanah. This certainty would prevent them from raising so many obstacles against my departure. If I attempted to take food for Yom Tov, however, they would realize that I intended to remain there for Rosh Hashanah and the obstacles would arise anew.

Although R. Avraham Baruch of Tiberias had said that he would provide for the food, and so forth, and Michel likewise said that food would not be lacking, and so forth, they could not be relied upon. R. Yisrael Dov instructed his wife to bake challos and good cakes for him, and also to buy fish, dry them in a pan with olive oil in the oven, and so forth. I told him that I would pay him if she would prepare these things for me as well, and he promised me that she would.

I searched for Michel in order to borrow money from him for the journey, but could not find him. Only toward evening, while I was praying Minchah at the Western Wall, did I see him. He told me that he would travel on the eve of Rosh Hashanah because he was occupied until then distributing milk to his customers, and he lent me money for the journey. Once my own mind had become resolved to travel, I spoke with several members of our fellowship in an attempt to incline them to travel as well, but I could not prevail upon them. I also spoke with R.M.G., who told me that he would travel for Yom Kippur, but not for Rosh Hashanah, and so forth.

That night I prepared myself for the journey. At home, however, and likewise among all the members of our fellowship who were remaining for Rosh Hashanah, it had been understood that I would return to Jerusalem on the eve of Rosh Hashanah in order to spend Rosh Hashanah there. Indeed, my wife and household waited for me until the evening of the first night of Rosh Hashanah, expecting me to arrive and be with them for Rosh Hashanah, as my wife later related to me. For this reason I did not take with me the quantity of food required for the two days of Rosh Hashanah and Shabbos, and so forth; moreover, food taken on Monday would spoil and become putrid by Shabbos, and so forth. I did, however, take the necessary books, my machzor, and my Rosh Hashanah garments, since I might be compelled against my will to remain.

Early Tuesday morning, after praying with the vasikin minyan and first visiting the mikveh and the Western Wall, I, R. Tzvi Aryeh, and Nesanel left the city for the Egged station. We purchased tickets for the express bus to Haifa and took our seats. There we found several additional members of our fellowship from Givat Shaul, as well as a newly drawn adherent, R. Gedaliah, may his light shine, and several more young men. Together we constituted most of a minyan.

While we were already on the bus, R. Yisrael Dov arrived, intending to travel with us. He had missed the bus, however, for no seats remained. He said that he would travel on the next bus. He merely gave me a sack of food to take for him, since it was difficult for him to carry it together with his other belongings. He intended to remain in Meron until after Yom Kippur.

A few moments later the bus set out with us. We were pleased that we had obtained good seats from the standpoint of guarding our eyes. We rejoiced greatly that we were traveling together and recalled the journey to Uman for Rosh Hashanah. We spoke together words of Torah concerning Rabbainu’s Rosh Hashanah and the greatness of Rashbi—may his merit protect us. We also sang melodies on the bus, including “Bar Yochai,” and so forth.

The period was a difficult one, especially for travel. During that month of Elul Tel Aviv had been bombarded: a synagogue had been destroyed and burned, and several Jews had been killed. Our prayer leader, R. David Chaldanke, experienced a great miracle. He lived beside that synagogue; the walls of his own home were also destroyed, and a fragment of a bomb struck his forehead and scratched it, and so forth. Although he sustained material loss, for his home was ruined and his possessions damaged, how exceedingly great were Hashem’s miracles in preserving the lives of those in his household!

Haifa, too, had recently been bombarded and several people had been killed. We were therefore afraid. We agreed among ourselves that as soon as we reached Haifa we would hire a taxi and travel directly to Meron, without delaying in Haifa at all—especially without waiting several hours at the Egged station for the bus to Meron, and so forth.