Chapter 116

We began Maariv at its proper time and recited “Barchu” with the customary sweetness and melody. R. Avraham, may his light shine, likewise led the prayers with joy, melody, and sweetness. We prayed with joy, spiritual vitality, awe, and awakening, lingering over every section, such as “Who brings on the evenings” and “With an everlasting love,” and so forth.

Each person prayed with heartfelt intent and awakening, in awe and joy, in the aspect of “rejoice with trembling.” Rosh Hashanah embodies the sanctity of the entire year; it is the head and mind of the whole year. As Rabbainu, of blessed memory, said, Rosh Hashanah was the principal thing for him, and so forth. He would pray the Shemoneh Esrei of Maariv on the first night of Rosh Hashanah for many hours, and said that for him the rectification of the entire period through Simchas Torah was completed on the first night of Rosh Hashanah, and so forth.

In sum, the silent Shemoneh Esrei lasted a long time, amid awakening and intent, and so forth. We then recited the psalm “By David, a psalm: Hashem’s is the earth,” which is said on the nights of Rosh Hashanah. The congregation recited it verse by verse with the prayer leader, amid stormy clapping, the Rosh Hashanah melody, and great awakening—both leader and congregation—and its recitation occupied a considerable time.

We afterward recited the psalm said before Aleinu, “Sound the shofar on the new moon,” and so forth, followed by Aleinu with great awakening and intent, and Kaddish with intent and awakening. Then, with pleasant countenances and joy, each person wished his fellow, “Gut Yom Tov,” and blessed him: “May you be inscribed and sealed immediately for a good life in the book of true tzadikim.” Each person went to every other person, grasped both of his hands in love and joy, and bestowed this blessing upon him. So they proceeded until every member of the congregation had received the blessing from every other member, with joy and love. The exchange of greetings and blessings occupied some time, as they wished one another “Gut Yom Tov.”

We did not dance, for the custom of the members of our fellowship is not to dance on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, said that on the first night of Rosh Hashanah he and all his people pass through judgment—“On the first night of Rosh Hashanah he passes through judgment with his people.” It is taught that perfectly righteous people are immediately inscribed and sealed for life, and “whoever is attached to one who is pure is pure”: those bound to the tzadik are therefore likewise regarded as tzadikim, as explained in Likutay Halachos.

The Gemara likewise states: “The king and the congregation enter into judgment; the king enters first, before anger increases, as it is written first, ‘to execute the judgment of His servant,’ and afterward, ‘the judgment of His people.’” This is explained in relation to Klal Yisrael: Israel enters judgment before the nations, and so forth. It appears to me that the inhabitants of the Land of Israel likewise enter first, for the Land of Israel is called the “mistress,” whereas the lands outside Israel are called the “maidservant,” as stated several times in the Gemara. So too, the tzadik and his people enter before all Israel, and so forth.

For this reason we do not dance, since the dread of judgment must rest upon one’s countenance. We likewise speak hardly at all. Sichos HaRan states that on the first day of Rosh Hashanah it is fitting to minimize speech, and the greater a person is, the more strictly he is judged concerning this. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, did not even recite the liturgical poems on the first day of Rosh Hashanah, except those composed by HaKallir.

One must likewise remember on Rosh Hashanah to think only good thoughts—that Hashem will deal well with us, and so forth—and not to think evil thoughts, God forbid. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, said, as recorded in Sichos HaRan: “On Rosh Hashanah one must be wise and think only good thoughts—that Hashem will deal well with us—and not think the opposite, God forbid.”

The principal inscription and judgment take place in thought, and thought also possesses great power, as explained elsewhere in Rabbainu’s words. The Adversary therefore exerts himself at that time to cause a person to think evil thoughts, God forbid. One must accordingly be wise and think only good—that Hashem will deal well with us and grant us a good year, and so forth.

It appears to me that for this reason the Gemara obligates us to eat sweet and rich foods, as it is written, “Eat rich foods,” and so forth, as well as leeks, beets, and the like, and to recite the corresponding Yehi Ratzon formulas, as is stated. All this is intended to engender good thoughts and demonstrate that we trust Hashem to bring forth our judgment into the light and deal well with us, for a symbolic sign possesses significance.

For the same reason it was forbidden to eat sour and salty foods, and so forth; one is to display only sweetness and goodness. It is true that one must experience awe, teshuvah, and trembling before the great and awesome Day of Judgment, and remember to plead for mercy before Hashem; yet all this must be accompanied by joy and trust in Hashem. Thus the Shulchan Aruch states that on the eve of Rosh Hashanah people cut their hair, wash themselves, and dress in white, thereby demonstrating that we trust our Father, the merciful Father—Hashem, and so forth.

It is true that one must perform teshuvah and stand in awe and trembling, but all of it must be with joy and trust in Him, blessed is He. Likutay Moharan explains that the initial letters of the Hebrew words “In Your Name they rejoice all the day”—a verse recited on Rosh Hashanah before the shofar blasts—spell bechiyah, “weeping.” This teaches that the weeping itself must be joyful. Even teshuvah and remorse are best experienced with joy: a person weeps from an abundance of joy and yearning.

In sum, we did not dance then, although it is our regular custom to dance after every prayer service. We merely sang “Bar Yochai” in honor of Rashbi—may his merit protect us. We then kissed the holy tomb and offered several petitions, and so forth. It was also announced that on the following morning the prayers would be conducted with the vasikin minyan.

The late-rising men were displeased with this, since they were unaccustomed to praying so early in the morning. The Minchah service described above had likewise seemed strange to them, and so forth. They grumbled somewhat, but immediately fell silent, for we constituted the majority and they were only a very small number, and so forth.

Most of the members of our fellowship then set a table upon the long bench beside the holy tomb; the minority ate separately in their own rooms. We recited the Rosh Hashanah Kiddush with joy and spiritual vitality, ate the apple dipped in honey, and recited the Yehi Ratzon. There was almost nothing to eat other than bread, and so forth. I ate together with R. Yisrael Dov from the challah and fish he had prepared for me. We studied a little during the meal and recited Birkas HaMazon with a minyan.

We stood briefly before the holy tomb, and I recited Kreyas Shima before retiring with intent. I lay down to sleep in my place beside the holy tomb, but slept almost not at all. My eyes remained upon the holy tomb, and my eyes and heart looked to the holy tomb and the tzadik—that he be a favorable advocate for us and draw me near to Hashem. In my heart I engaged in hisbodedus before Hashem, asking Him to view me in accordance with His knowledge of my true welfare and my drawing near to Him, and to draw me close. Nearly all my petitions and all the desires of my heart concerned spiritual matters alone: that I draw near to Hashem and attain that which one must attain in this world, and so forth.

This was the consolation in my thoughts: the entire world is surveyed in one glance, and all pass before Him like sheep—that is, each person is individually surveyed before Him, and so forth. It is impossible for anyone to pass without being surveyed by Him, blessed is He. I would therefore certainly be surveyed before Him; He knew what I required for my healing, deliverance, and welfare in this world and the next, and knew that my desire and purpose were to draw near to Him, blessed is He. Throughout almost the entire Rosh Hashanah I placed myself upon this point. I persisted both before Hashem, as it were, and before the tzadik, that they survey me for good in accordance with their knowledge of my welfare, and so forth. In sum, I slept almost not at all, but looked with my heart, eyes, and thoughts toward Hashem and the tzadik.

Midnight then arrived and people began to awaken from their sleep. They washed their hands and roused everyone sleeping beside the holy tomb. We recited the Morning Blessings and then Tikkun Chatzos—Tikkun Leah alone, for Tikkun Rachel is not recited on a day when Tachanun is omitted, all the more so on such a Yom Tov and a day of rectification of the soul. Each person then recited what he desired. I recited Tehillim, the Tikkun HaKlali, Rosh Hashanah prayers, and hisbodedus. We also went to the cold mikveh in the courtyard.

We occupied ourselves in this manner until the dawning of the day. R. Avraham, may his light shine, then entered and roused everyone to pray, and we began immediately. R. Avraham Yaakov led the prayers. We recited the Morning Blessings, “Vayehi Achar,” and “A person should always,” and so forth; then the offerings and Ketores through “Hodu”; afterward “Hodu” itself and the additional Shabbos psalms, such as “For the conductor” and “Sing joyfully, O righteous,” through Baruch SheAmar; and so forth, continuing until “Barchu.”

Some members of our fellowship had not managed to begin the prayers as early as we had and were compelled to hasten so that they could pray with the congregation. All the members of our fellowship thus prayed with the vasikin minyan. We recited “Barchu,” and so forth, said Kreyas Shima at its appointed time, and stood for the Shemoneh Esrei at sunrise.