Chapter 118

When they had completed the silent Shemoneh Esrei as stated above, everyone prepared himself and assembled together in the small chamber beside the tomb of Rashbi—may his merit protect us—and it was time to appoint an emissary of the congregation to stand before the amud. R. Avraham asked several of the younger members of our fellowship to lead, but they did not know how to pray with the Rosh Hashanah melodies and rite and therefore refused. They likewise did not wish to appoint R. Avraham Baruch for the reason stated above—that he was a mourner, may the Merciful One spare us. In addition, they wished those who led the prayers and sounded the shofar to be specifically members of our fellowship; better still would be men who had merited to be in Uman, but at the very least they were to be members of our fellowship who believed in Rabbainu, of blessed memory. R. Avraham, may his light shine, was consequently compelled to serve as the prayer leader for Shacharis as well.

He began the repetition of the Shemoneh Esrei and the liturgical poem “I am afraid as I open my mouth,” and so forth, followed by all the other liturgical poems, with intent, awakening, and sweetness. He was an elderly man experienced in this service, for he had prayed for many decades in the city of Uman in our kloyz, at the place of Rabbainu’s tomb, where all the members of our fellowship certainly prayed together with the great and awesome intent for which they were known. It was therefore pleasant and beneficial to hear something resembling the prayers offered there, and I derived immense satisfaction from his service before the amud.

I followed literally every word that issued from his mouth and was deeply aroused by them. I contemplated each utterance, whispered it with my lips, and used it to pour out my conversation and my heart before Hashem. At the same time I lay as though in sleep and dormita, gazing, as it were, toward Hashem with my eyes and heart without speech, in accordance with the custom on Rosh Hashanah before the shofar blasts, as is known from the writings of the Arizal.

All the liturgical poems were recited through “Adiray Ayumah” and onward until Kedushah, all with intent and awakening and with prolonged pauses. We then recited the Kedushah of Shacharis together with the poems incorporated into it, as is customary, all with awakening, intent, and strength. The remainder of the Shemoneh Esrei followed, beginning with “You are holy,” and so forth. Every utterance and every blessing literally refreshed my soul and gave me great awakening and spiritual vitality, all in the Rosh Hashanah melody and rite. At the conclusion of the blessing “the holy King,” everyone together clapped loudly for several moments.

He then began “You have chosen us” with great awakening, deliberately lingering over every word and every utterance, as he had likewise done in the opening blessings. At “Remember us for life,” all the people raised their voices together and recited it with the leader in the familiar stirring melody and sweetness. At the conclusion of “Shield of Avraham,” everyone clapped loudly and answered “Amen” in a strong voice. The blessing “You are mighty” began with renewed awakening and spiritual vitality. Everyone together recited “Who is like You, merciful Father?” with awakening, sweetness, and the melody described above. At the conclusion of “Who revives the dead,” all again clapped loudly and answered “Amen” in a strong voice, as above.

The blessing “You are holy” then began with new awakening. The prayer “To God Who arranges judgment,” through “Who examines hearts,” and so forth, was recited amid profuse weeping by every person and great awakening. “From generation to generation, proclaim Him King” was likewise said with awakening. Then came “And therefore, may Your Name be sanctified,” “And therefore, place Your fear,” “And therefore, grant honor,” joy, and so forth—every utterance and every word with awakening, sweetness, and melody. “And therefore the righteous,” too, was recited word by word with great awakening and sweetness.

It is related in the name of Moharnat, of blessed memory, that he would prolong and raise a tremendous commotion during the words, “And therefore the righteous shall see and rejoice.” They asked him, “R. Noson, why do you make such a commotion over these words?” He answered, “Why should I not make a commotion? They lived in this world, departed from the world, and nevertheless remained righteous; surely they have reason to rejoice.”

Thereafter came “And You, Hashem, shall reign”—every utterance and every word with awakening, sweetness, spiritual vitality, and melody—followed by “You are holy” with great awakening. At the conclusion of “the holy King,” a great tumult arose: everyone stood, clapped stormily, and answered a mighty “Amen,” and so forth and so forth. The service then continued. We had no Kohen to bless us with the Priestly Blessing. Everything through the conclusion of the Shemoneh Esrei was recited with awakening and sweetness.

The Holy Ark was then opened, and we recited the prayer Avinu Malkeinu—which is said throughout the Ten Days of Teshuvah—each verse amid weeping and powerful awakening. This was especially so with “Our Father, our King, return us in complete teshuvah,” and so forth. The congregation first recited each verse together, after which the prayer leader repeated it with great awakening. So it was with “Inscribe us for a good life,” and so forth, through the conclusion.

Immediately afterward everyone together recited “By David: Hashem is my light,” with intense awakening and prolonged pauses; the prayer leader then repeated it with awakening and sweetness. The Psalm of the Day was recited with intent and awakening. They then prepared for the Torah reading. Chacham Aharon, the Sephardic man who resided there permanently, took the opening of the Ark for himself. One member of our fellowship performed hagbah, raising the Torah scroll and displaying its writing to the congregation. R. Moshe, our Torah reader, read the portion. I was called in place of a Kohen, as I had purchased the aliyah on the eve of Rosh Hashanah, as stated above, and a Mi SheBeirach was recited.

All those who had purchased aliyos on the eve of Rosh Hashanah were called to the Torah. R. Avraham was called for the third aliyah, as customary. R. Asher Zelig, although he had refused to purchase an aliyah, was nevertheless given one for the sake of peace. R. Avraham Baruch desired Maftir on the second day of Rosh Hashanah, as was his regular custom, so he received no aliyah that day but performed hagbah. The Sephardic man Aharon mentioned above received Maftir and recited the blessings and the Haftarah of Channah with great awakening.

After the Torah reading it was customary to allow approximately an hour or more for rest, so that people could go to the mikveh and prepare themselves for the shofar blasts, and so forth. On this occasion, however, we had already waited several hours for the prayers of the second minyan, as stated above; midday was approaching; Mussaf had to be prayed before the seventh hour; and the shofar blasts themselves would certainly occupy considerable time. R. Avraham therefore announced that the interval would be only ten minutes.

The others stood firm and prevailed upon him to allow half an hour for going to the mikveh and reciting the Zohar passage before the shofar blasts. We went to the exceedingly cold mikveh in the courtyard. After immersing, I recited the ten chapters of the Tikkun HaKlali beside Rashbi—may his merit protect us—and the Zohar passage said before the blasts, and aroused my heart to teshuvah. It is the custom throughout Israel to awaken profoundly to teshuvah with weeping and spiritual arousal before the shofar blasts. This was all the more true of us, who knew Rabbainu, of blessed memory, and his Rosh Hashanah in Uman, and who now stood beside the tomb of the divine Tanna Rashbi—may his merit protect us—who could exempt the entire world from judgment, and so forth. We certainly experienced very great awakening, and so forth.