Chapter 15

Thursday night arrived, the night of the Tenth of Teves - the anniversary of the passing of our teacher Moharnat, of blessed memory. They again gathered together to travel to Rachel’s Tomb, may her merit protect us, amen, and remain there all night, as stated above. I, however, did not wish to do this, particularly because it was the yahrzeit of Moharnat, of blessed memory. I wished all the more to be included in the collective body of the members of our fellowship, for there was great spiritual arousal then in the delivery of the Torah teaching and in the dancing.

I did, however, send my eldest son, may he live, with them, so that he would remain with them throughout the night. He acted stealthily: about an hour before evening he came and took his tefillin discreetly, so that his mother would not see, lest she refuse under any circumstances. He also took a few pieces of bread, for on the following day they would have to fast, since it was the Tenth of Teves. He went to the place they had designated for meeting, and they traveled safely. I told my wife that he had gone outside the city to attend the banquet of the members of our fellowship in Meah Shearim and would therefore lodge there that night.

I remained in the city to attend the banquet that the members of our fellowship in the city would hold, because I thought Rabbi Avraham, may he live, would come from outside the city to be with us, as he had in the preceding year. In that year the Tenth of Teves had fallen on Sunday. On Shabbos morning, after the prayer service at the Western Wall, my companions Rabbi Yaakov Zev and Rabbi Tzvi Aryeh and I devised a plan to go together to Meah Shearim for seudah shlishis [the third Shabbos meal], to hear the Torah teaching from Rabbi Avraham and to remain there for the evening banquet; for “In the multitude of people is the King’s glory,” particularly when we would hear words from Rabbi Avraham, may he live.

For us, however, this then entailed immense self-sacrifice. Who could guarantee that we could walk from the Old City to the area outside the city at that time, because of the fear of the Arabs? Nevertheless, because of our great longing for this, we paid no heed to it. We resolved that no one should know of the matter: we would come to pray Minchah early at the Western Wall and would then walk together outside the city.

We did so after the Minchah prayer, and Rabbi Orenstein of the Western Wall joined us (for he was going to his home outside the Old City and did not understand why we were risking our lives in order to walk outside the city). We went by way of Nachalas Shivah. In truth, we experienced mortal fear, and every single step constituted self-sacrifice for us, until, Baruch Hashem, we traversed the route safely.

We reached the bais midrash in Meah Shearim and saw that they had not yet prayed Minchah and that Rabbi Avraham was not yet there. We went to Rabbi Avraham’s home, and he rejoiced with us and spoke words with us there. We derived such vitality from this that this alone made all the trouble and toil worthwhile. Meanwhile they prayed Minchah in our bais midrash. When we returned, the congregation was already standing in Shemoneh Esrei, and so we went to the shtiblach [small prayer rooms] in Meah Shearim to hear the Torah reading.

Afterward we went to seudah shlishis in our bais midrash, where a long table had been arranged for several minyanim of men. We three sat together, and all the members of our fellowship marveled that we had come. We studied a Torah teaching from Likutay Moharan that Rabbi Avraham recited from memory, as was his custom. There was great spiritual arousal; we danced many dances, much music was played, and many zemiros were sung. This continued for several hours. We prayed Maariv and kindled many lamps, for the gathering was great and numerous - “ben poras Yosef” - until the bais midrash was filled from one end to the other.

Nevertheless, we drew vitality from the fact that we dwelled in the Old City, for this was a merit in its own right; one sensed it chiefly and precisely when going outside the city. We wished to recite Kiddush Levanah, but the sky was overcast with clouds and it could not be recited. After Maariv they announced that after an hour or more people should come for the commemorative banquet of Moharnat, of blessed memory.

We saw, however, that Rabbi Avraham had no desire to go. We went to Rabbi Avraham’s home, heard Havdalah, and sat there for a short time. We saw that Rabbi Avraham had little desire to attend the banquet, while we yearned and longed for the Old City. My companion Yaakov Zev was aroused and said to us, “Perhaps we should travel together with Rabbi Avraham to the Old City.” We were all aroused by this. He said that there was no time to wait, because the period of special restrictions in the Old City would soon begin - namely, the curfew, during which it was forbidden to walk in the streets. We therefore had to act immediately. He went and hired a taxi for us, and I traveled with the aforementioned companions, Rabbi Avraham and his wife. We also took our companion Rabbi Yisrael Dov with us.

We came to the Old City and entered the home of Rabbi Noson, son of Rabbi Pinchas Yehoshua, for the members of our fellowship from the Old City were sitting there at the banquet. Great joy arose among them because such an idea had occurred, and the members of our fellowship from Meah Shearim likewise marveled at it. We washed our hands for the meal and ate the meal together. We spoke many words concerning Rabbainu, of blessed memory, and Moharnat, of blessed memory, and danced a great deal amid many songs and dances. We remained there until midnight.

We then entered the synagogue of Batei Machaseh and recited the Chatzos prayer, Tikkun Leah, after which we went to sleep. In the morning we prayed the vasikin service in our bais midrash with great spiritual arousal. In sum, we derived immense delight from the manner in which we conducted ourselves on the yahrzeit (this had taken place in the preceding year).

I therefore thought that today as well Rabbi Avraham would come to us in the Old City and that we would spend the time there pleasantly. In truth, Rabbi Avraham himself was also waiting for this. The younger men, however, had been aroused to travel to Rachel’s Tomb; my companion Rabbi Yaakov Zev was occupied with his work; and I was occupied with sending my son to Rachel’s Tomb, as stated above.

Consequently, there was no one with Rabbi Avraham to arouse him and bring him to the city. He thought that people would come to fetch him, but there was no one to do so, as stated above. He therefore remained in Meah Shearim and led the prayers at the amud in our bais midrash. They sat there for some time and afterward dispersed. A few people went with Rabbi Avraham to his home, while the majority went to Rabbi Yechiel, where the banquet was held.

In the Old City as well, apart from the many who had traveled to Rachel’s Tomb, as stated above, those who remained divided into two groups. One group was in our bais midrash; the other group - the elders - sat with Rabbi Noson, who always held this banquet. I remained at home and did not go anywhere, because I did not know what counsel to adopt: whether to go outside the city or remain in the city. At any rate, I had resolved that if I remained in the city, I would go only to Rabbi Noson’s home.

Meanwhile my companion Rabbi Yaakov Zev returned from his work, came to me, and asked me what my opinion was. I told him that I desired to go outside the city. He replied that he had no strength, and also asked where he would lodge that night. He requested that I go with him to some place here in the city. I told him that I would go only to Rabbi Noson’s home. He agreed, but first wished to see what the banquet in the bais midrash was like.

I went with him and stood outside, waiting for him until he entered and immediately came out. We went to Rabbi Noson’s home, where we kindled olive-oil lamps in honor of Moharnat, of blessed memory, and ate a few things. I then devised a plan with him that we should go outside the city immediately, for the desire burned within us to be with the majority of the members of our fellowship and to hear words from Rabbi Avraham. We rose from the table and went to see whether the automobile service from the Old City was still available, but we had already missed it and it was no longer running. We resolved to go on foot. Concerning where we would lodge that night, we reasoned that we would certainly prevail upon some other members of our fellowship to go with us to recite Chatzos at the Western Wall.

In sum, we walked on foot that night to the area outside the city, although we were afraid. We came to Rabbi Avraham’s home, but the people had already left him and he wished to sleep. We went to Rabbi Yechiel’s home, where we found all the members of our fellowship from outside the city eating a full banquet. They were joyful, studied from the books of Rabbainu, of blessed memory, and danced many dances. We remained there until midnight. We aroused several people to travel with us to the Old City to recite Chatzos at the Western Wall; they had already agreed, but then changed their minds and did not wish to go. They recited Grace after Meals there.

The two of us were therefore compelled to walk alone at midnight to the Old City. As may be understood, we were filled with fear throughout the entire way; Baruch Hashem, we traversed the route safely and entered the city in peace. I also had troubling thoughts and fear because I had sent my son to Rachel’s Tomb, lest, Heaven forbid, some calamity befall him. Throughout the night I suffered anguish and fear on this account. The two of us went together to the Western Wall and recited Chatzos there. Other members of our fellowship from the Old City also came to recite Chatzos. We remained there for some additional time and returned to our homes to sleep.

In the morning I prayed the vasikin service at Batei Machaseh and afterward went to our bais midrash. After the prayer service the young men returned from Rachel’s Tomb, with my son among them, and I rejoiced greatly to see them. They read from the Torah once more. His mother became angry with him over having gone without her permission to lodge outside the city and not assisting her with the preparations for Shabbos, but I calmed her.

He told me how they had conducted themselves throughout the night. They prayed Maariv there communally, having first recited the Tikkun Haklali together. After Maariv they sat down to eat together, studied the books of Rabbainu, of blessed memory, and also danced. Some of them then lay down to sleep on the benches, while others - my son among them - remained awake throughout the night. They studied Mishnayos Kerisos and the Zohar passages arranged in the work Tikkun Kares. Afterward they recited all the books of Psalms together; after each and every book they sounded the shofar and danced. They thus remained throughout the night until morning. In the morning they prayed, then left and traveled as far as Bethlehem, where they waited for some time until an automobile departed for the city.

My son, may he live, however, became ill with a stomach ailment. That night he had to relieve himself several times, and through this and the loss of sleep his countenance fell and he became ill. He could not go to pray on Shabbos. My wife, may she live, was filled with anguish and suffering on this account, and resolved never again to permit him to do such a thing.

Afterward I went to Shimon HaTzadik and recited Psalms, prayers, and the Tikkun Haklali there. My son, may he live, remained at home and did not go to the bais midrash. I went alone to welcome Shabbos at the Western Wall, in accordance with my recent custom, and prayed on behalf of my son, may he live. It is readily understood how that Shabbos passed over me. I wept profusely before Hashem that He should send him a complete recovery. I recited a Mi Shebeirach for him at the Torah scroll in our bais midrash and pleaded abundantly for mercy on his behalf, that He should send him a complete recovery. He remained ill for some time until he recovered; the illness, however, spread to the other children, and afterward they suffered severely from it. Thus all this passed over us, and, Baruch Hashem, we came through it all.