Chapter 24

Although they spoke with me at length, urging me to remain with them for several more days, they could not prevail upon me. In particular, Baruch Hashem, I had neither rested nor whiled away the time at all; because I knew that I would be traveling, I guarded even the moments and occupied myself with all my strength in the service of Hashem, as stated above. I did not idle away any time, as they did, for they thought that they had time and therefore spent some of it on eating, sleeping, and other matters, as stated above.

The new avreich likewise completed his prayer and prepared himself to travel with me. They too completed their prayer and walked with us from the holy tziyun amid powerful and intense spiritual arousal and yearning. I likewise took leave of the other holy tziyunim and of Rabbi Elazar, of blessed memory, and went outside filled with intense longing and yearning; tears almost flowed from my eyes because of my great longing for this holy place, with yearning and desire almost to the point of the expiration of the soul. We walked together until we reached the place where the automobile bound for Haifa would come. We stood there and waited for it to arrive, remaining there perhaps more than an hour, until we thought that we had already missed it.

They were glad, thinking that perhaps we would remain together with them (for it is easier to remain there when there are other people together). We, however, told them that this was impossible, for we were compelled to travel. I could not bring myself under any circumstances to spend that Shabbos without hearing the Aseres HaDibros (and when would I hear them again, other than on Shavuos?), nor could I spend my first Shabbos without a minyan, eating only a piece of bread as on a weekday, and without Shabbos garments, etc. The Shabbos meal and Shabbos garments are a great matter; and the new avreich was compelled to be in Haifa for his business and work.

They themselves also began to consider which of them might travel to Safed for Shabbos and afterward return to Meron. In sum, we waited for about an hour until a taxi passed. The driver asked whether we wished to travel to Haifa. We told him that we had Egged tickets, and he replied that this was fine, for he would accept our bus tickets for the fare. We parted from one another amid abundant longing and yearning, and the new avreich and I traveled safely in the taxi. He thanked me profusely for having aroused him to travel to Meron, and also for having aroused him to remain until then and to serve Hashem. He felt that he had merited what he had merited, and that from the day he had attained mature understanding until then he had never merited anything like it, etc.

Throughout the entire time that we traveled together to Haifa, I spoke with him at very great length concerning Rabbainu, of blessed memory, and told him a little about my own drawing near to Rabbainu, of blessed memory. He purchased a copy of Likutay Moharan from me, gave me one shilling, and promised to give me the second shilling at another time. Baruch Hashem, I had a good journey, for we traveled by taxi and were also alone, since no women were traveling with us, etc.

We arrived in Haifa, and I hurried to travel onward to Jerusalem, for it was Erev Shabbos. I had with me nine copies of Likutay Moharan that I had taken along to deliver to one of the members of our fellowship in Haifa, for he had asked me to bring them to him in the hope that he might be able to sell them. During our earlier passage through Haifa there had not been sufficient time to deliver them, because we had traveled in haste; and now, in particular, I was hurrying to return home. I therefore gave the books to this avreich, supplied him with an address, and asked him to be so kind as to deliver the books to that address. He promised me that he would do so.

We parted from one another with great friendship and a handshake. On Lag BaOmer I saw in Meron the member of our fellowship to whom I had sent the books. He told me that a full week had passed before the avreich learned his address and found his home and brought him the books, but that he had still not sold them. With great difficulty I obtained two shillings from him, and that money assisted me with our return journey on that occasion.

I immediately boarded an automobile traveling to Tel Aviv. On this leg of the journey, however, I suffered from the travel because I was not seated in a suitable place of the kind I prefer. I reached Tel Aviv and immediately boarded an automobile traveling to Jerusalem, but on that automobile as well I suffered greatly in trying to find a suitable place for the journey where I would not be seated opposite women. Baruch Hashem, I passed through it safely until I arrived home in peace, with joy and gladness of heart over what, Baruch Hashem, I had merited to seize in this transitory world.

I arrived home safely, and my wife received me joyfully. I, however, bore a profound impression from this journey and had become another man, my heart filled with spiritual arousal toward the service of Hashem. I prepared myself for holy Shabbos by going to the mikvah and to the Western Wall to welcome Shabbos, and throughout that Shabbos I felt shame and spiritual arousal from having beheld the face of the tzaddik.

As is brought in Teaching 72 of Likutay Moharan II, which begins, "Eternal Life," it is explained there that beholding the face of the tzaddik is itself a great merit, for through it one merits the shame and humility of Moshe Rabbainu, peace be upon him, like the shame experienced by Israel at the Giving of the Torah, as it is written, "So that His fear may be upon your faces, that you not sin."

Rabbainu, of blessed memory, explains that even when extending a spoon to his mouth, a person will feel exceedingly ashamed. On that Shabbos I studied this awesome teaching with my son, may his lamp shine, and with the son of my friend Rabbi Yaakov Zev. I experienced great spiritual arousal from this teaching and also sensed within myself something of the aspect described in it. For some time I felt myself in this state of arousal. My friends - Rabbi Yaakov Zev, etc. - envied us on account of this and asked me why I had not likewise remained there for holy Shabbos. Rabbi Avraham Sofer, however, told me that I had acted in full accordance with law and proper practice by returning for holy Shabbos, because of the reasons stated above that applied to me.

They too remained there for holy Shabbos, stayed until Monday, and then returned to Jerusalem. We all rejoiced over the journey that, Baruch Hashem, we had merited to make together.