Chapter 29

During those days I likewise learned of the wedding that our friend Rabbi Meir Anshin, may his lamp shine, was making for his son in Batei Ornstein. I resolved in my heart to go, although he had not invited me (apparently because there had been no opportunity for us to see one another, for our homes were very far apart and only on rare occasions would we meet in the street and speak together). He was my long-standing friend, and he had also served as the intermediary between me and my friend Mr. Haberman concerning the printing of Likutay Moharan.

I went to the Batei Rand neighborhood to my friend Rabbi Gedaliah, and we proceeded together (for I had thought that the wedding would be there, since I did not know where the chuppah would take place, but he already knew) to Batei Ornstein near Zichron Moshe. We saw that it was still early and entered the synagogue there. We spoke together concerning Rabbainu, of blessed memory, etc., and thus spent some time. We then saw that the groom had arrived with many other people; we too went down there. The house was already filled with people, and we sat among the members of our fellowship and spoke together until they went out to conduct the chuppah.

Rabbi Michal Dayan officiated at the kiddushin, and Rabbi Avraham, a grandson of Moharnat, of blessed memory, recited the sheva brachos, etc. Immediately after the chuppah we reentered the house, where they ate lekach and drank wine, and we danced a little. They said that the meal would be served later that night, so we went from there to pray Minchah and Maariv in Meah Shearim. I wished to return to the Old City, but because I had promised Rabbi Meir that I would come to the meal, and because they told me that members of our fellowship from the Old City would be present and would spend several hours dancing, after which I could travel back to the Old City together with them, I remained in Meah Shearim until night. There I met my friend Rabbi Yaakov Melamed, a member of our fellowship, and we walked together. We then met Rabbi Yitzchak Meir, who joined us in going to the wedding.

In the middle of the road Rabbi Yaakov Melamed remembered that he had a shavua haben—that is, a vach nacht on the night before a circumcision—at the home of an acquaintance and wished to go there first. I asked him at whose home it was. When he told me, I learned that it was with the family of one of my relatives, and I said that I too would go. Rabbi Yitzchak Meir likewise said that he would go, and we went together to the Shaarei Pina neighborhood.

We went upstairs into the house and found people there. I also found my relative, who was the son-in-law of my mother’s brother (the infant’s father was his brother). He asked me why I had not attended the bris that he himself had recently held, and I replied that I had known nothing whatever about it. We studied Zohar passages concerning circumcision, ate sweets, etc., and recited Kreyas Shima and Vihi Noam, etc., in accordance with the Jewish custom of reciting them in the home of a woman who has given birth.

Afterward we walked from there through the courtyard and past the house in which I had lived when I first came from abroad. I looked at it and recalled that period to myself, reflecting on everything that had passed over me from then until now. We also passed through the Geulah neighborhood by the shop that had once belonged to Rabbi Yechiel, one of the members of our fellowship. Rabbi Yaakov Melamed asked whether I remembered the period when, together with several newly drawn adherents—who are now among the prominent men—we had studied there together throughout every Thursday night concerning Rabbainu, of blessed memory. They had drawn near through me at that time, and at midnight we would proceed from there to the Western Wall. He himself had been drawn near to Rabbainu, of blessed memory, through this. He yearned exceedingly for that period, recalled the vitality he had then felt, and remembered that at the time he had thought he would always possess such vitality, etc.

I too recalled that entire period, when I had infused a spirit of life into the whole fellowship. Many young men had then drawn near, and there was such vitality at that time. We also passed the shop in which “Anav Press” had been located, and I recalled the immense self-sacrifice with which I had printed there all the books of Rabbi Avraham, of blessed memory: Koachvay Or, Sichos VeSipurim, etc., and Biur HaLikkutim. I reminded myself keenly where I stood in the world and why I was now silent and asleep, etc. The entire walk was worthwhile to me merely in order to remind myself so vividly and thereby receive an awakening in my mind and heart.

We entered the wedding house, where the guests were already seated for the meal, and they asked me to sit down with them. I asked where the members of our fellowship from the Old City were. They answered that men from there had already come, spent a little time dancing, etc., and returned to the Old City. This caused me anguish and suffering: how would I return home alone? Moreover, by then I had presumably already missed the automobile traveling to the Old City. At any rate, I hurried and began to run, hoping that I might still catch it.

Rabbi Meir urged me to remain, but I explained that this was impossible and that under no circumstances could I afterward walk alone to the Old City. Even now I was exceedingly afraid and did not know what counsel to take for myself.

I ate something and drank lchaim to Rabbi Meir, the groom, and all the people. I took leave of Rabbi Meir with a handshake and great friendship, and ran to the Nachalas Shivah neighborhood in the hope of catching the automobile. The automobile had already departed. I stood there in anguish, not knowing what to do, for I was exceedingly afraid to walk alone to the Old City, and I remained standing there for a long time.

A Sephardic sage from the Old City happened to meet me and said that we should walk together. We did so, and I rejoiced exceedingly that Hashem had arranged this for me. We spoke together, and he told me that they had recited the entire Book of Psalms three times during a taanis dibbur [fast from speech] in the synagogue of Misgav Ladach Hospital. He also told me that one of their great sages had addressed them with deeply searching words of moral exhortation, producing immense and powerful spiritual arousal. Through these conversations the road passed safely, and I arrived home in peace.

During those days it also befell me that my eldest son, may his lamp shine, became very ill with a severe cough and fever. He lay in bed on Erev Shabbos and throughout Shabbos, and this caused us immense anguish and suffering. I literally wept from the greatness of my anguish and prayed extensively for him on Shabbos. I arranged a Mi Shebeirach for him at the Torah scroll during Shacharis and Minchah. On Motzaei Shabbos I called Rabbi Shalom Zlatnik. He examined the inside of my son’s throat and applied more than twenty bankes [cupping glasses]. He said that the boy had caught a severe chill and ordered him to remain in bed throughout the week. The entire week and still longer passed with him gravely ill, after which he began to improve.

But then my other son, may his lamp shine, also took to coughing and developed a severe cough of the kind called whooping cough, accompanied by fever. This too caused us much anguish and suffering. Before this child had recovered, my youngest son likewise began coughing severely; he continued suffering from it until close to the present time. In addition, he contracted the pox called wind pox—that is, chickenpox. I considered it, however, a miracle from Heaven and an act of individual Divine providence that we had had him inoculated against smallpox at Chanukah, for through this he would be spared actual smallpox, and in fact he had not contracted it from my other son, may his lamp shine, who had previously suffered a very severe case. At any rate, a great deal passed over us then on account of all this—much anguish and suffering, and many prayers and tears—until Hashem helped us and they recovered. May Hashem grant us the merit of seeing nachas from them and from all our descendants. Amen.