Chapter 68

In sum, when they saw the child’s condition, and after they had also spoken with the aforementioned Dr. Rabinowitz, they resolved to do something exceptional. They gave us a note addressed to Hadassah Hospital, instructing the hospital to admit the child on their account and stating that they themselves would pay for him.

We went with the child to the number nine bus, which traveled to Hadassah, and rode to Hadassah Hospital. Our hearts were exceedingly bitter within us: who knew whether we would merit seeing him return to our home? In our minds, nine hundred and ninety-nine parts out of a thousand pointed, God forbid, in the opposite direction, and so forth; not even one part of those thousand inclined toward life, God forbid. We desired only that the child not expire, God forbid, in our hands or in our home, so that people would not spread accusations against us that we had caused the child to die in our hands, God forbid.

Yet “Is the hand of Hashem too short?” Hashem, may He be blessed, could help in a manner entirely beyond the natural order, like an actual resurrection of the dead. (And in truth, we saw that Hashem, may He be blessed, helped this child in a manner that was quite literally like beholding a resurrection of the dead with our own eyes. For he had already been actually expiring, God forbid, and scarcely possessed any remaining breath of life, God forbid; only Hashem, may He be blessed, helped through manifest miracles.) Throughout that period I continually reflected and thought that the child’s condition resembled the condition of the Jewish people, may the Merciful One save us: it was expiring, while the enemy, in the full force of his power, grew ever stronger and destroyed. At that time we heard that Hitler had conquered France with lightning speed, and so forth, and the danger henceforth—especially to Eretz Yisrael—was very great.

It appeared that one could scarcely look forward to any help, God forbid, and so forth. Nevertheless, I believed that Hashem, may He be blessed, could help in a manner entirely beyond the natural order. If I were to behold with my own eyes the miracles of Hashem, may He be blessed, with the child, so that he would remain alive, I would then be able to believe likewise in the miracles that Hashem, may He be blessed, would perform for the Jewish people as a whole, His holy nation—to deliver and save them, and so forth.

We rode on the bus until we reached Hadassah Hospital on Mount Scopus. We showed the note to the gatekeeper, and he permitted us to enter. We went in and proceeded to the office, where we gave them the note from the Medical Aid Committee. The clerk telephoned to ask whether a bed was available; they answered that there was one under the care of Dr. Rabinowitz. In the office he recorded my name and the child’s name, and so forth. I settled it in my mind that I would look only toward the good, and that with the help of Hashem, may He be blessed, we would come to visit the child until he recovered, even though it was beyond my reason to understand how this could be.

After he completed the registration, and so forth, he telephoned a nurse from that ward to escort us there. We ascended to the third floor, where the children’s ward was located. They brought us into the waiting corridor, for we had to wait until Dr. Rabinowitz himself would come to receive the child.

Meanwhile, I held the child in my arms, and my heart melted within me when I saw that he possessed virtually no breath of life—not even as much as a newborn infant. A Sephardi woman was also sitting there with an infant only several days old who was ill. I saw that the difference between her child and my son was like the difference between death and life. Although that infant was only a few days old, was severely ill, vomited, and discharged, and so forth, he nevertheless possessed vitality and was alive. My son, may his light shine, was already one year old, yet he had no vitality, may the Merciful One save us, and did not move any limb, God forbid.

As for the condition of our hearts throughout that entire day, only Hashem, may He be blessed, Himself knows it. It was as bitter to us as wormwood, and so forth, beyond the capacity of the human mind to assess. We sat thus with the child for a long time. I suffered greatly because I feared that the child might expire in my arms, God forbid. I also feared that when they saw his condition they would no longer be willing to accept him from us.

In sum, I held him in my arms in this manner for a long time. We asked the nurse to give us a little tea to place in his mouth, and she did so. Meanwhile another nurse came and again filled out a form with the names and many additional questions: whether he had ever been ill, what foods he ate, and so forth and so forth. She bathed the child and dressed him in hospital garments. In the meantime the physician also arrived. We waited there until, in accordance with their procedure, they placed the child upon a bed in a room. We then left. We asked the nurse whether, if we telephoned to inquire after the child, they would answer us. They said that they would, and instructed us to ask by the child’s name and for the children’s ward.