Chapter 73

Thus the eve of this sacred festival passed over us. We went to pray the Maariv service of the holy Yom Tov in our beis midrash. We sat for a short while and spoke, with illumination of mind, about the great sanctity of this sacred festival and about Rabbainu, of blessed memory.

Afterward we prayed Maariv with joy and arousal. Rabbi Avraham, may his light shine, led the prayers with his melodies. Following the service we danced to the melody of “Atah Nigleisa,” with arousal and tears. It was then announced in the synagogue that people would remain awake there throughout the night and that tea and sugar would also be provided. Everyone should therefore come to remain awake and recite Tikkun Leil Shavuos there, and so forth.

We went home, recited Kiddush, and ate the Yom Tov evening meal. Afterward my son, may his light shine, went to our beis midrash to remain awake with them throughout the night. I did not go, however, because at that time the order of the government—may its glory be exalted—concerning the blackout had begun. This was because Italy had then also entered the war, and fear of enemy aircraft had begun, God forbid. The blackout caused great burden and difficulty in the homes with respect to eating the evening meal. Most people ate toward evening, and at night they kindled no lamps at all. Even on Erev Shabbos, many batei midrash prayed early and in darkness.

For this sacred Yom Tov, however, because one must remain awake throughout the night and recite Tikkun Leil Shavuos, the large synagogues made arrangements with curtains and cardboard over the windows and the entrance. Our beis midrash also made the aforementioned arrangements. Here in Batei Machseh, however, the large synagogue had not yet been so prepared; only the adjoining room had been treated in this manner. They closed its windows and entrance so that, God forbid, not even a spark of light should escape outside. Apart from this, there was severe crowding, and the room was too small to contain the people, since none of them had suitable conditions in their homes for reciting the Tikkun because of the blackout. The air was therefore exceedingly oppressive, and for that reason I did not go.

I chose instead to recite it in our small outer room at home—the ligentshin—which was easy to black out. Indeed, until this day all our activities at night take place only in this room, for it alone was blacked out. Moreover, because of the weakness of my heart and mind, I could not endure being among people. I therefore remained in my outer room and recited Tikkun Leil Shavuos there alone. Yet because of my extreme exhaustion and the ordeals that had passed over me, as stated above, I could not restrain myself from dozing a very little from time to time.

I desired with all my strength to prevent myself from dozing even for a single moment—as little as the blink of an eye. It is brought from the Arizal, of blessed memory, that one should not doze even for one moment and is then assured that he will live out his year, and so forth and so forth, and that the entire course of a person’s life depends upon this night. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, likewise said that on Shavuos the principal matter is the wakefulness with which one remains awake, whereas on Hoshana Rabbah the principal matter is the recitation. Nevertheless, it was utterly impossible for me not to doze slightly from time to time. I strengthened myself and continued reciting the Tikkun until after midnight.

Afterward I strengthened and overcame myself and went to the room in Batei Machseh, but it was wholly impossible for me to remain there. I went to our beis midrash, where conditions were more comfortable and agreeable. There, too, they danced nearly the entire night, with dances and melodies as at a wedding, in accordance with our custom in the kloyz in Uman. The dancing did not cease from the beginning of the night until morning. The people rotated: some recited while others danced, and then they exchanged roles, and so forth. This accords with what is brought in the Zohar, that “those who remain awake are the bridal attendants,” and so forth, and “they must rejoice,” and so forth, throughout the entire night. I, too, participated in this. I also recited Tikkun Leah at midnight.

At midnight some also went to the Western Wall, while others went to immerse in the mikvah of Rabbi Yishmael Kohen Gadol near the Mount of Olives in Silwan. I completed the Tikkun and afterward recited the Zohar on Ruth known as Har Adonai, which is a great matter, and so forth. During the predawn watch, before the rise of dawn, we went to immerse in the mikvah. This mikvah is associated with the fiftieth gate of holiness, and so forth, as is brought in Likutay Moharan, Lesson 56. The holy Zohar and the Arizal, of blessed memory, likewise speak at great length of the greatness of this mikvah: through it one is purified of sins and defilement and draws upon oneself abundant mercy and the sanctity of the Torah, and so forth.

Before the light of morning I recited Shir HaShirim, which is a remedy and a segulah for one who has a sick person in his household, and so forth, as is brought in Chayay Moharan. I also recited prayers concerning healing and pidyon. While I was within the water of this sacred mikvah, I pleaded abundantly on the child’s behalf. Rabbainu, of blessed memory, also brings that if one remains beneath the water until one can scarcely breathe, one sweetens judgments, and so forth, because one nullifies oneself entirely before Hashem, may He be blessed, as in the state that preceded Creation, when there was water within water, and so forth.