Chapter 98

During that year and in that period, the evening prayers were recited in darkness because of the mandatory blackout. The study session between Minchah and Maariv was then discontinued, as was the nighttime study of many people. Throughout the entire night people remained in darkness, and they ate early, before evening.

On that Shavuos, people remained awake here in Batei Machseh in the small room near the beis midrash, whose windows and door had been covered. They were compelled to remain shut in throughout the entire night. The room was filled with people, and I could not endure the oppressive air and odor. I therefore remained awake alone in my home, in the small room that had few windows—the ligentshik. A lamp burned at the side within an enclosure, in such a manner that its light did not shine outside.

On Fridays most batei midrash prayed early, and people ate the Shabbos meal by the lamps at an early hour. Here in Batei Machseh they prayed at the proper time. In the large beis midrash, however, Kabbalas Shabbos and Maariv were prayed in darkness. They also prayed in the aforementioned small room, where there was a small amount of light because the room had been covered.

I prayed in the large beis midrash. We likewise kindled the Shabbos lamps in the aforementioned ligentshik, within the enclosure, as stated above, and ate the Shabbos meal at its proper time. This continued throughout the entire summer, during which people suffered from the darkness and blackout. They had thought that the prohibition would soon cease and they would again be permitted to illuminate as before. They therefore did not wish to exert themselves to devise means of blacking out the batei midrash so that lamps could be kindled within them, nor to do so in the homes.

The authorities were also exceedingly strict at that time concerning the prohibition of light during the blackout. Even when people covered the openings with sacks and other objects, it was said that this was insufficient; the covering had to be specifically black and red. Before the Days of Awe, however, when people remain in synagogues and batei midrash for long periods in prayer and Selichos, and after they saw that the blackout regulations were continuing for so long, they exerted themselves and made proper coverings for the windows. From then onward they again prayed and studied in the batei midrash and synagogues as before.

On that Shabbos Chazon I prayed in the beis midrash of Batei Machseh in darkness, as stated above. Our home, too, was almost dark, for the lamps burned at the side within the enclosure, as stated above. On the morning of the holy Shabbos I prayed Vasikin as always in Batei Machseh. The Torah reading was Parashas Devarim. As always, they read the haftarah from a manuscript of the Prophets written in Ashuris script upon parchment like a Torah scroll. They chanted the haftarah as a lament, using the melody of Eichah.

This surely aroused me to repentance and petition before Hashem, may He be blessed. The reader concluded with weeping and tears upon his cheeks. Afterward I went to our beis midrash. There the haftarah was read from a Chumash, but in another melody—not the melody of Eichah, but a special melody of arousal for this haftarah, as is customary among all Chassidim. Through it one is aroused to repentance and shame, but not to mourning and weeping as through the melody of Eichah.

From there we went to the Western Wall to pray Mussaf with arousal. I remained there for a long time in prayer, Tikkun Haklali, hisbodedus, and further prayer. There is surely abundant arousal at the Western Wall on this Shabbos. One remembers that this is the holy place concerning which people make the heavens tremble so intensely with weeping and petitions during Bein HaMetzarim and especially on Tishah BeAv, and concerning which we continually say, “If I forget you,” and so forth. One is surely aroused and pleads from the heart that Hashem, may He be blessed, return and have mercy upon us.

In any event, this Shabbos contains arousal both through the prayers and readings, as stated above, and at the Western Wall. One experiences arousal and repentance, but with vitality. Afterward we ate the meal of the holy Shabbos with joy, arousal, and shame. Then came sleep, for sleep on Shabbos is a delight. I brought to mind the days that had passed and the days that were approaching and was aroused to repentance and prayer. Afterward I studied the regular lessons and the works of Rabbainu, of blessed memory, particularly the teachings concerning the Shabbosos of Bein HaMetzarim and Shabbos Chazon. The heart is surely aroused through them to repentance and awe.

At that time I studied in Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim, Part II, Hilchos Birchos HaReiyah, Halachah 5, which discusses these days at length and contains great arousal to repentance. Afterward we went to pray Minchah, and the third meal was likewise conducted with arousal. Thus this holy Shabbos passed over us. Parting from it was exceedingly difficult for me, for every single moment had been very precious and important to me, filled with vitality and delight. One consoles oneself, however, that very soon the next Shabbos will arrive. All the vitality and consolation amid everything that passes over a person continually is the holy Shabbos, which is a semblance of the World to Come.

Thus this Shabbos, which was the source of vitality amid these bitter days of anguish and mourning, likewise passed. On Motzaei Shabbos we ate the Melaveh Malkah meal and sang the zemiros of Motzaei Shabbos, for all this is included in honoring the holy Shabbos: just as one honors it upon its arrival, so is one obligated to honor it upon its departure.

Sunday of Parashas Vaeschanan, the seventh of Av, then arrived. From this day the obligation to mourn becomes more stringent. According to the Shulchan Aruch, even one who is compelled to eat meat and drink wine must at least abstain beginning on the seventh of Av, for on that day the nations entered the Sanctuary and wrought destruction for three days; toward evening of the third day they set it aflame. Tishah BeAv was surely already near, and one felt the anguish and mourning more intensely.

After prayer I studied my regular lessons with my son, may his light shine, as on every day. We studied the laws of Tishah BeAv and Bein HaMetzarim in the Shulchan Aruch, the Torah discourse “Bereishis—In the Sight of All Israel,” which discusses the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, and so forth, and also the halachah concerning Birchos HaReiyah. Meanwhile my friend Rabbi Yom Tov, may his light shine, arrived and studied the aforementioned halachah together with us. We were greatly aroused together.