Chapter Forty-Three: To Seek the Truth

A Chassid came to request that Rabbi Yisroel speak about our holy Rabbenu before a gathering of people…

I am not truly of the type who should be approached with such requests and presentations. I do not love making a public display…

We in these generations are entirely far from everything — this is the truth. Nu — and even so, Hashem is merciful: "The kindnesses of Hashem have not ended." Even in these generations, even as we are — if we seek truth, not honor, not wanting honor and not chasing after honor — then Hashem helps even in our generations.

So we need only to give ourselves over to Hashem to help us that we merit to speak words of grace, words of emunah — because we are entirely distant. All of this is by kindness, all by miracle, all by kindness. This is the truth.

Even we who are greater — who think we want to do good things — if we conduct our affairs in the usual way: to speak nicely, "Good — see you later. Good — thank you very much…" But the essential is that the heart should burn for Hashem. One must think: "Perhaps when I meet this person or that person, perhaps some good will emerge from it — to draw close to Hashem."

Blessed be Hashem — I see: when I drew close to our holy Rabbenu and became a Breslov Chassid, the whole city of Teveriah came to me: "What — are you mad? Breslov?! One needs a different Chassidus — but not Breslov." And I bore all the liars — I could not bear them. Hashem showed me good merchandise: Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner. And he merited and illuminated within me such precious things as do not exist in the world — nothing like this in the world!

Blessed be Hashem — I had the sense and understood that Rabbi Yisroel was very good. And he had such joy when he saw that I was drawn after Breslov. He came to Teveriah for my sake. Something great was made between us — I loved Rabbi Yisroel and Rabbi Yisroel loved me. There was good life between us — very precious things: Breslov. I loved Breslov very much. And blessed be Hashem that I have held on. My father did not know I was a Breslover. I did not listen to him. "For what? Let him hold to what he holds and I have, blessed be Hashem, precious things."

He said to me: "I see you are a Breslover — I take no pleasure in this. Breslov? Who wants Breslov? I want you to be in a different Chassidus. I don't like Breslov."

I said to him: "Father — listen to what I say to you: only Breslov!"

He did not want to — but I explained to him that this is a good thing and I succeeded. I did not want to leave him: "Father — see, see how good Breslov is." And so it was.

The opposition was very strong and I did not know what it was. I only knew that Rabbi Yisroel came to Teveriah and a great uproar was made. Today when I find one person who wants Breslov — then I am a great wealthy man to have found such a person. Blessed be Hashem — Hashem loves us and gives us always good gifts, such gifts… Drasha geshank [a wedding sermon gift — a term from the story of the Seven Beggars, meaning: a gift of true blessing]. Each one can merit at every place and time.

And Rabbi Yisroel — Rabbi Yisroel opened all the gates for me. Through him I merited to understand and see wondrous things…

Rabbi Yisroel found in some synagogue on a lectern the Tikun HaKlali — and through this drew close to Rabbenu and became Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner. I remember the bond between myself and Rabbi Yisroel — all the time, all the years, always. I truly could not be a single moment without Rabbi Yisroel — I could not live without Rabbi Yisroel. Because there was between us such a bond and such love as is unique in the world. Such a bond is not an ordinary thing.

My entire intention was not to honor Rabbi Yisroel — my entire intention was to search: perhaps I would find some light, perhaps he could illuminate within me some light of how to truly serve Hashem. That was the essential. And he too — the same thing. His intention was not to elevate himself above me. His matter was only so that perhaps he might succeed in illuminating within me some spark from our holy Rabbenu — that it would be good for me in this world and the World to Come. This was the essential of our intention and the essential of our bond. Because of this we succeeded. We merited such a bond that has endurance. It is already eighty years since Rabbi Yisroel — and his matter has not ceased. But the beginning was that Hashem arranged that a bond was made between Rabbi Yisroel and me. He came from Uman to Eretz Yisroel — he came to me at Meron. I should have traveled to him — but he came to me. He was the first who drew close me and other souls to our holy Rabbenu. A great controversy arose. He had begun drawing people close to Rabbenu long before he began drawing me close — and this was the essential of his work, the essential of his purpose: to leave in this world the light of Rabbenu, to bring the light of Rabbenu into people. And these people would tell their friends and a different world would be made. And this was the essential of his intention — not to show that he was great and that he would be famous and people would say "Rabbi Yisroel is such a Rebbi…" On the contrary — in this he was such a humble person as does not exist in the world. He was so modest that no one knew of him. He wept before Hashem and served Hashem with all his strength, all his soul, all his might — as it is written: "with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might." He did not merely say this as one is accustomed to say.

I merited to see Rabbi Yisroel, may he rest in peace. I saw with my own eyes such a person who gave his heart to Rabbenu and who devoted himself entirely only to printing and drawing souls to Hashem. And I saw what this is, what Breslov is — there are no words to say. Such heroism… It is impossible to understand that there is such heroism in the world as Rabbi Yisroel who served Hashem through Rabbenu. He was so cleaved and bound to Rabbenu — and our holy Rabbenu illuminated within him. He was so bound to Rabbenu that all those who truly served Hashem — Breslov Chassidim — said of him: "Who can compare himself to Rabbi Yisroel!" Even from the side of the opponents who had fear of Heaven — everyone said he was a man of wonder. Rabbi Yisroel was such a servant of Hashem as one does not see in the world. He had such mesiras nefesh that they could not understand how a person has such power — how he had such power! He was unique in the world!

I remember that Rabbi Yisroel walked every day to the mikveh of Tzfas — the Ari's mikveh. And the mikveh was cold — warm as fire, so intense was the cold. And he went to the mikveh in winter, in Tzfas. The mikveh was like entering boiling water, yes. And he entered — I do not know how. I went with him and saw this mikveh. I saw that he entered the mikveh as if I were drinking some cup of liquid — without any movement showing it was hard for him…

And also for us — if we want to succeed, we must seek truth. In every matter: only truth. One must say to oneself: "I am willing to walk four amos or more, so that perhaps through this I will merit to hear some word that will be good for me in the service of Hashem." This is the essential of life-force — not like those accustomed to travel to an admor…

Hoy — Master of the Universe! Would that we merit to find the true tzadik. But if one seeks — one finds, if one seeks in truth. The matter of Rabbenu is only truth. All the tzadikim walked in ways of truth — but there is admor and there is admor. The matter of Rabbenu is the ultimate perfection with no perfection after it. The matter of Rabbenu is such pure and clear truth as has not yet been in the world!

The matter — the bond between us and Rabbenu — is only truth. As I was with Rabbi Yisroel. What I merited to know and to cleave to Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner — this is a very great thing. And as more time passes, I see more and more that this was our matter — the bond between myself and Rabbi Yisroel. It was such a wondrous matter that this was the beginning of the redemption. He was a man of wonder — entirely for Hashem, entirely truth. He was cleaved to Rabbenu with such emunah, with such light, as is still not seen in the world. I found no one else — only him alone!

Hoy — Likutay Tfilos! Whoever says Likutay Tfilos — finds the truth!

False belief is nothing — it is not truth. False emunah is death. So it is nothing, worth nothing. On the contrary — it harms. It is nothing.

Our holy Rabbenu said: "Before the coming of Mashiach, in the final generations, there will be two husks." So said Rabbenu.

"One husk: heresy." Not believing in the Torah and the commandments, in Hashem. Heresy is one husk.

"And the second husk: false beliefs."

There are two husks — heresy and false beliefs. But both are husks — an aspect of Amalek. Nothing comes of this; on the contrary it harms. And our holy Rabbenu is emunah — such pure and clear emunah as has never yet been in the world. Only he can bring into our hearts the ultimate truth — that the essential is to serve Hashem without honor and fame. For with honor and fame — there is nothing!