He received his letter just now. And he has not yet finished the prayer — for he was somewhat weak as is his way after Shabbas — and was late in his prayer. Just now — know that he has already received praised be G-d a new travel pass — and it is in his mind to travel if Hashem wills tomorrow after midday — and his mind is firm not to delay further. And Hashem will help him in His chesed to travel to the place he travels — to prostrate himself at the place he will prostrate himself. Which in truth he does not know at all yet how far the matter reaches — but this he knows clearly with Hashem's help — that he must travel there at every time — and in particular for the holy and awesome and very very dread Rosh HaShanah. And also he must arouse and strengthen you with all his strength with all kinds of words of truth in the world — that you should also merit to be there — for it is your life. And even though you already know a little of this — still one must begin anew now — in particular for Rosh HaShanah — when that is the essential renewal for good. And there is much much very very much to speak about this — but the leisure and paper are not sufficient.
And also the letter from Rabbi Mordechai he received — all this before he stood to pray the Mussaf prayer of Rosh Chodesh Elul — with one gold coin — and read it well. And they informed him that the calf was lost and they need mercy that the cow should give her milk. May it be His will that it be so.
And behold all our troubles and the bitterness of our soul is from the sin of the calf — and we need the cow to atone for her son — as Rashi explains. [וַאֲנוּ צְרִיכִים שֶׁהַפָּרָה תְּכַפֵּר עַל בְּנָהּ — from Rashi on Bamidbar 19, who explains that the red cow comes to atone for the sin of the golden calf: the mother comes to atone for her son. Reb Nussun weaves this together with the news about the literal calf and cow in Rabbi Mordechai's household — and elevates the particular to the universal: all our troubles — spiritual and physical — trace back to the sin of the calf — the fall from faith and closeness to Hashem. The remedy is the cow — the aspect of pure sacrifice and teshuvah] And all of this in order to merit that the blood (*dam*) be troubled and become milk (*chalav*). And behold you have been trading in leeches — and if you merited to conduct the business as fitting — it would have been fitting that the leeches draw out the bad blood from within you — until it is turned to pure blood — which is permitted money — the money of Israel. For *"damim"* — bloods/monies — has two meanings. [דָּמִים תַּרְתֵּי מַשְׁמָע — the Hebrew word damim means both "bloods" and "monies/payment." Reb Nussun plays on both meanings: trading in leeches (which draw blood) is also connected to purifying money — for the pursuit of money stirs the blood and causes its confusions. The rectification of livelihood is simultaneously a rectification of the blood and the passions] And from the confusions of the blood which are hard to purify — come illness and all the preoccupation of livelihood and all the disputes and humiliations and bloodshed — about all of which you are beseeching just now. You need a great salvation that your son return to his strength in completeness quickly — the Master of mercies — Creator of healings — may He fulfil your requests quickly. And Rabbi Mordechai asks to be saved for the future — and all need the salvation of our G-d — may Hashem fulfil all the requests of Israel for good.
And all of this is the secret of the kavanos of Elul — which is to subdue the blood in the left cavity. And the rectification is through converting it from dam (blood) to dom (silence) — to bear humiliations and bloodshed from several sides. [מִדָּם לְדֹם — from *dam* (blood) to *dom* (silence). The secret of the month of Elul: *aleph* (*א*) is added to *dam* (דָּם) to make *dom* (דּוֹם) — silence, stillness. The *aleph* alludes to the *aleph* of *anochi* — of Hashem's own presence entering into the blood and stilling it. This is one of the most profound teachings of Reb Nussun's Elul letters — drawn from Likutay Moharan I:6 and elsewhere] For also what settles upon every person in his own eyes — and it seems to him as if — G-d forbid — there is no hope — this too is the aspect of bloodshed — that one must bear all — and say: let whatever will happen to me happen. And if G-d forbid there is no World to Come for me — even so the truth is the truth. And I desire and yearn only for the truth to its truth — for in the end of all ends the day of my reckoning will come — and the necessity to lie on the earth — and potsherds will be placed on the eyes — and the body will decay in the grave. Even though it is now shame and mockery to speak of this — and in particular as the wise men have multiplied who know their wisdoms — but praised be Hashem Who made His chesed wondrous with me — that I know all the secret of these wisdoms. But they are falsehood and lies and vapour that evaporates. And in the end of all ends one must give a full accounting — but even so — G-d forbid and G-d forbid to fall in one's own eyes because of this. And this is all the kavanos of Elul — which is the aspect of *baki b'halachah* — *baki b'ratzo* — *baki b'shov.* [בָּקִי בַּהֲלָכָה בָּקִי בְּרָצוֹא בָּקִי בְּשׁוֹב — from Likutay Moharan I:6 — *baki b'halachah*: expert in the law — meaning: knowing where the boundary is. *Baki b'ratzo*: expert in running forward — rushing toward Hashem with full heart. *Baki b'shov*: expert in returning — knowing how to return and not be lost even when one falls] *"Im esak shamayim sham atah — v'atzirah she'ol hinecha"* — "if I ascend to heaven — You are there — and if I make my bed in the depths — You are there" [Tehillim 139:8] — the aspect of going out and returning (*ayeil v'nafik*). And how much and how much we spoke about this — how much and how much one must strengthen oneself about this. And Rabbi Mordechai writes to him that it still seems to him that there is no hope — G-d forbid — if so you have left no life to any creature. Know and believe me — there are those much worse than you — and they also need to give themselves life through the above-mentioned kavanos of Elul.
And the entire essential commotion and great accusation against us is because our great Rebbe — zacher tzaddik livrachah — wants to revive the dead and literal corpses — those who have fallen in their own minds from the multitude of their immense sins — literally like corpses. As also I in my poverty know a little of this — and all the more so he himself — of blessed memory. And all the great commotion against us is only for this reason. For he with his great power is engaged in their rectification and their salvation. And the essential in this aspect is that he wants to illuminate in them that the whole earth is full of His glory — *"Hakitzu v'rannenu shochney afar"* — and they kick against receiving his goodness. But what is it to us — let each one go his own way — and we in His wondrous chesed will fulfil: *"achaztihu v'lo arpenu"* — "I held him and would not let him go." [Shir HaShirim 3:4] And the messenger is urgent — and the obligation to be brief for he is very preoccupied. And know that even so one must always strengthen oneself in joy — and this is the essential strengthening. *Ki cheduvas Hashem hi ma'uzchem* — for the joy of Hashem is your strength. [Nechemiah 8:10]
The words of your father and your friend and your teacher — who desires the rectification of your souls forever — Amen so may it be His will.
Nussun of Breslov.
Overview: Sunday, Rosh Chodesh Elul — Breslov. To Yitzchok. He received his letter just now. He has not yet finished the prayer — was somewhat weak after Shabbas — and was late. He has already received praised be G-d a new travel pass — and will travel tomorrow after midday — mind is firm not to delay further. Hashem will help him to travel to the place he travels — to prostrate himself at the place he will prostrate himself. He does not know yet how far the matter reaches — but this he knows clearly — that he must travel there at every time — and in particular for the holy and awesome and very very dread Rosh HaShanah. And also he must arouse and strengthen you with all his strength — that you should also merit to be there — for it is your life. Even though you already know a little of this — still one must begin anew — in particular for Rosh HaShanah — when that is the essential renewal for good. There is much much to speak about this — but leisure and paper are not sufficient. Also received letter from Rabbi Mordechai — all before standing to pray Mussaf of Rosh Chodesh Elul — with one gold coin. They informed him that the calf was lost and they need mercy that the cow should give her milk. Then: all our troubles and the bitterness of our soul is from the sin of the calf — and we need the cow to atone for her son — as Rashi explains. All of this in order to merit that the blood be troubled and become milk. Trading in leeches — if conducted as fitting — the leeches should draw out the bad blood until it turns to pure blood — permitted money — the money of Israel. For damim has two meanings. From the confusions of the blood come illness and all the preoccupation of livelihood and disputes and humiliations and bloodshed — about all of which you beseech just now. You need a great salvation that your son return to his strength quickly. And all of this is the secret of the kavanos of Elul — to subdue the blood in the left cavity. The rectification is through converting it from dam (blood) to dom (silence) — to bear humiliations and bloodshed from several sides. For also what settles upon every person — and it seems to him as if there is no hope — this too is the aspect of bloodshed. Let whatever will happen to me happen. If G-d forbid there is no World to Come for me — even so the truth is the truth. G-d forbid and G-d forbid to fall in one's own eyes because of this. This is all the kavanos of Elul — baki b'halachah — baki b'ratzo — baki b'shov. "Im esak shamayim sham atah — v'atzirah she'ol hinecha" — the aspect of going out and returning. Know and believe me — there are those much worse than you — and they also need to give themselves life through the kavanos of Elul. Then: the entire essential commotion and great accusation against us is because our great Rebbe — zacher tzaddik livrachah — wants to revive the dead and literal corpses — those who have fallen literally like corpses. And all the great commotion against us is only for this reason. For he with his great power is engaged in their rectification and their salvation. And the essential is that he wants to illuminate in them that the whole earth is full of His glory — "Hakitzu v'rannenu shochney afar" — and they kick against receiving his goodness. But what is it to us — let each one go his own way — and we in His wondrous chesed will fulfil: "achaztihu v'lo arpenu." And know that even so one must always strengthen oneself in joy — and this is the essential strengthening. Ki cheduvas Hashem hi ma'uzchem.