Mesiras Nefesh To Print Breslov Books
Mesiras Nefesh (-self sacrifice) For the Printing There was a Jew who sold beverages. He sold wine, whiskey, all types of beverages. His name was Rabbi Yom Tov Zlotnik. He was famous, a litvak (-of the school of Lithuania which promoted talmud study over chasidus). Except he drew close with such a burning heart – that he couldn't be held to the store, with the (-his) family, with the (-his) children, just the Rebbe, just the Rebbe! And he would print, in those times there still was not any “Keren Hadfasa” <”Printing Fund” of Breslov>, and there still was no one to print for, however he yearned to print, to print, and to print. In short, he took to printing Restoration of the Soul, Outpouring of the Soul. And one man alone can not give all he owns for the printing, however, I knew that he had in him such a burning heart – such – for Rebbe'n. He had a store, and he had somewhere a room, a small room, that he used to learn in there the books of Rebbe'ns, I used to go into the room. And I had a large home (-family), and by me, at home, there was not a piece of bread, the children went about like that. And I went to R' Yom Tov Zlotnick, nu, if I tell him, then it implies that I came to R' Yom Tov so that he give me money – one needs bread. So I didn't speak of it…. He was astute, and he understood that my entire goal with this was only to merit to draw the world close to Rebbe'n, it is necessary to print the Rebbe'ns books. I wanted to strengthen this Jew so that he holds strong in this. In short, it was Friday after midday, I girded myself with brazenness, with determination. The way it is, I am bashful to beg alms by myself... In short, I went inside the store, the guy was confounded, he sees such a type of expression, with such fervor, with such determination, he recognized. In short, they gave me. In short, I went from one store to another, I saw that HY was showing me success and they were giving me. And in that year (-in Yiddish this can refer to the present time) in that time – I made seventy-five pennies! Nu, I went – not for bread – not for me! I went so that there should be encouragement for this young man. Yeah, I went with seventy five pennies and gave it to him in the hand! Absolutely nothing, not one penny! Friday before nightfall, I gave him directly so that he would have for the printing… (Someone asks: “It was a lot of money?”) Ah! Today it has absolutely no estimation (- or the opposite – value) – there is absolutely no comprehension of what money was then! I wondered at myself, but I went with such fervor, like the Burgher (*Story #10 of a Burgher and a Pauper, see there)…. * Nu, one can think – one can suppose that I am saying idle chatter, bygone stories; bread, money. No! These are all precious ways, this is not in the world, this is just through the power of the holy Rebbe'n that can do such things – that there can be a poor person who makes (-collects) seventy five pennies and goes directly giving it over so that he will have encouragement to print…. And this is not naturally possible, this is supernatural, above space, such a type of thing. And this is only with the power of the holy Rebbe'n can one do such a thing, can such a R' Yisroel be made, and can make such a poor man – he was crazy and went from one store to another, and they were confounded by him, and they gave him nice donations - - and he was successful, he made seventy five pennies in such a short time!…. *** The Main Thing is to Draw To the Tachlis - - And similarly when one does not give heart (-pay attention), one doesn't give heart to the holy Rebbe'ns words, one doesn't give heart to what we came to the world for, for what we live in the world. And one must draw himself very much – like the holy Rebbe taught us, that the main thing is just for the tachlis (-ultimate purpose, end) – is just Torah and prayer… (*Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 51; Story #12 of a Prayer Leader, see there his creed and exhortations). And by the world a bonafide craziness (*Story of the Prayer Leader) – he doesn't search at all?! He searches just for the Future World, just learning, just praying, and this world he lets go completely!… This I saw in actuality only by R' Yisroel'n! The way of the world is – even he that understands that the main thing is not money, but even still, one needs money… yeah. And similarly honor, and everything, and one makes peace – one makes peace with all the bodily desires. Just the holy Rebbe! [-who teaches us the way of the true tachlis]! (*Likutay Halachos, Orach Chaim, Laws of Passover 7:9-10, “And everyone knows that there is no tachlis in the world, except to adhere to avoadas (the service of) Hashem all the days of one's life, but few are those who know true aitzoas (advice, remedies) how to veer away and retract from the darkness, and they don't know recourse for their souls how to behave in such a way as to merit to be a truly kosher person etc., and in truth it is impossible to receive any aitza (advice, remedy) except from the true tzaddikim of the generation etc..). *