Tape 103, Side A

...[In it is told about the childhood days of Rebbe Yisroel Ber Odesser Until he reached the age of seventeen, the age at which he became acquainted with Breslov Chassidus, with Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner)]… ...[What did we say th.. with Father, with Father] [{Nu}.. he came to awareness at age seven, eight] [At age eight?] [Nu, Mattisyahu wants to hear, what did you do at age seven, eight?] Eh.. [Mattisyahu is “dying” to hear] [Ah] Oy, oy [...] {I} descended from the roof [At age eight] At age six, seven, eight, but at the time when I came to awareness, I was still a small child I still was not, I was not even able to say Tehillim even [….] But the heart was burning for Hashem Yisbarach, and I very much wanted, I loved the Torah very much Torah study and mitzvos and faith and.. [At age eight?] Yes, a small child Then I would descend from the roof, and enter our house.. [Were the parents religious?] And our house was.. [They were Karlin chassidim] Like a cave without windows [Ah, ah] And the heat was very terrible, and I was like someone whom they immerse, who immerses himself with his clothes in the sea, in water [in sweat, from so much sweat] From so much sweat Nu, and I endured it, and.. and when I left the house, I could not breathe {How beautiful Teveria is}, and I ascended some steps near the roof Then I felt such vitality, coolness, air [Yes] And I descended, and I immediately descended, and.. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy But a week passed like this, then Father saw, he saw th.. that I was wasting it Because I was using the kerosene, and I did not.. the kerosene, we had a bottle of kerosene from Shabbos to Shabbos So on Sunday, every Sunday they needed to buy a bottle of kerosene, and it was for Shabbos, yes

And I, when.. {when I used}, when I studied by the lamp, then some of the kerosene was missing So for Shabbos there was no, there was no kerosene, so he said: “What do you want from me? You are using up my kerosene” And likewise there was an incident, I loved a mitzvah very much, and even though I did not know [What a mitzvah is] But I knew, I felt that the mitzvah of tzedakah is very great It is a very holy mitzvah, and it is very awesome In Teveria there was an old man, a great elder, whose name was Rebbe Yosef Noach [Noach] He had two names.. [Rebbe Yosef Noach] Yosef Noach, and he was poor, and he had a wife, and he would go begging from door to door There are poor people who do not go begging from door to door; he is poor, but they give to him with dignity {They} give some coin, some tzedakah with dignity, but he would go begging from, from door to door And I saw that he went begging from door to door, so I had great pity on him Who knows whether he has a piece of bread to eat? So in the morning, when I went to cheder, to cheder to study, then Mother.., then Mother gave me Gave me a slice of bread, so that I would have something to eat until noon, perhaps I would be hungry, perhaps, good And I was very happy, I took the bread.., she gave me several drops of {bread} on the bread And I asked her: “Mother, give me a few more, give me two, three drops” [More] [Of what?] So she said to me: “What is this? What? What do you want? [Drops of what..?] I need the oil for, for Shabbos” [Drops of oil] Yes, oil, kerosene is {oil} Nu, so I went, I went to cheder, and no one knew I went to this poor man, and found him at home, and took the slice of bread and gave it to him, and he took it from me and I was so happy that I merited to perform a mitzvah, the mitzvah of tzedakah

I gave him bread to eat, I gave him bread Nu, and I went to cheder, and this was on Sunday, on Sunday, I already studied, I had begun Chumash [At age five] At age five, at age six, but I studied Chumash So his custom, on the day.., the rebbe’s, on Sunday he would tell them He would tell them several sections of the lesson that they needed to study that week, from the parashah, he said: “Children, you know, the parashah of the week is..” For example, Parashas ‘Noach,’ or ‘Korach,’ Parashas ‘Noach’ So they heard, that “This week is Parashas.. [Noach] We need to study Parashas ‘Noach’” Nu, afterward he told them {what it is\an incident}, some, several stories from Parashas ‘Noach’ From the Ark, how large the Ark was, the main points, so that they would know, that they would know {what was being discussed} [To draw them close to the study] And at the time of the study they already knew certain things Good, good And I, because I had given the bread to the poor man, to.. [To the poor man] I had nothing to eat, and I was hungry [Hungry] I was hungry, and I was by nature of a weak body, a weak body, and.. and.. {..} And from the magnitude of the weakness, I did not hear at all what he was telling, “This week is Parashas ‘Noach’” He wants to know which children are good and which children are not good So he as.., suddenly he stood, he asked this child: “Tell me, which parashah is this week?” And when he knew, Parashas ‘Noach,’ he was a good child But there were children who did not remember; it was necessary to allow time th.. th.. for him to remind us Parashas ‘Noach,’ he came to me: “Which parashah is this week?” I knew nothing, as though I were not in this world, {I was as though in.. in.. in.. another judgment} nu, he waits, he waits and anticipates, perhaps I will remember, I, what is it

But I don't know anything, 'Noach,' 'Noach,' ah, what, what, {what is he waiting for} So he, he waited and waited for an answer, and there is no answer, no, I don't know So he asks me: “Where were you? You weren't, you weren't here at all? Where, where? In what world were you? What is this? You don't, you {{}}, I am speaking and.. and I am giving all, all my strength And I, and you don't hear?” So he was in great anger at me, and struck me [Blows] And struck me cruel blows [Pshh..] He struck me: “What is this? I am speaking, and you.., for nothing? And you do not know even what Even one utterance, where were you?” And nevertheless, nevertheless, I saw that I need the bread, so.. because I receive blows and these blows, I had pain from the blows, and I also had shame, I was ashamed before the children no, he did not strike even one child, only Yisroel Ber [The humiliations began from then] The humiliations were more, more, more, more painful than the blows, {….} [This is the preparation for Rabbainu] Oy, oy, I tell all this, so that we should know how much Hashem Yisbarach [Loves us] Loves simplicity, I was not a scholar and not.. and.. and.. and.. and.. and.. And only simplicity, in this I was, I loved the Torah and the mitzvos and faith and fear of Heaven very much, and when I saw someone learning, or he, he, he is simple, and he says Tehillim, then I thought: “Ah, this man, this man.. he thinks about, about the true ultimate purpose This man, fortunate is he, he occupies himself with Tehillim and he learns” Afterward.. yo, there are several stories, there are several stories Because I prayed with more fervor than all the children

All the children {…} pray like, ah.. [Ordinarily] But I counted out the words as one {counts} money, as they count money, and with love and with simplicity, {..}.. [Boruch Atah.. like this] {…}, in any case, in this synagogue where I prayed, this was the synagogue Close to us, so I prayed in the synagogue [Of the Karlin Chassidim?] This synagogue.., no, no, I was a Karliner, but it was Boyan [Of the Boyan Chassidim?] Boyan, but because it was very close, neighboring right by our house, I entered there to pray, and there, in the Boyan synagogue, there was one old Chassid, and he was a distinguished and important man, he was an administrator, he was an administrator of the kollel, he was an administrator, and.. [Ah, an administrator of the kollel] Yes, and he was a great miser [What was his name?] Reb Yaakov Kasir [Reb Yaakov Kasir] Reb Yaakov Kasir, yes This matter {…}, but this was seventy years ago, this is already… ...[ ] [Now you can continue] Yo… ...[Was in the synagogue] I, my father was poor, and he did not have the means to buy me a siddur, a siddur I, I wanted a siddur with Chatzos, with Tehillim, with Ma'amados, and with all the supplications and prayers Nu, so Reb Yaakov Kasir gave me every.., gave me almost every day a coin, an important coin So I took all the coins and gathered them, so that I would have enough to buy a “Kol Bo” siddur That it should have all, everything {the prayer}.. Nu, and Hashem Yisbarach helped me, there were several circumstances, in Teveria such a siddur was not to be found, such a siddur Only for children, for praying, but a siddur with all {the matters}, with all, with all.. a “Kol Bo” there was not, only in Yerushalayim

So my mother needed to, she had a trip to Yerushalayim, so I gave her the coins so she would buy me a siddur with.. a “Kol Bo” siddur [All the prayers] That it should have Chatzos and Tehillim and Ma'amados and all, and all the supplications and all the prayers And so it was, she traveled to Yerushalayim, and bought me such a siddur, which was a beauty in the entire city of Teveria Whoever saw this siddur, he said: “Oh.. this, such a siddur, who can come to a siddur, such a siddur” Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy vey.. Nu, and also {in..} until the bar mitzvah I sought only to learn and fulfill the mitzvos and for fear of Heaven and to merit fear of Heaven with faith After the bar mitzvah, the family came to me {ah, and.. and more friends and my friends they were} And relatives of the family and friends and.. influenced me and spoke with me, that I need, I became bar mitzvah So I need to learn a trade, a tailor or a shoemaker, what, which trade, {nu} {..} [Nothing] Yo, and I said: “No, I, I do not want to learn a trade, I, I want only Torah Only Torah and fear of Heaven, a trade no, no, no” So they said to me: “You need a livelihood, and you are {a ch.. child}, the father cannot, cannot give you {a dowry, and.. and.. and..} And.. kest (sustenance) {so}, and also you need to support the home” So I said: “I won't.. any trade” And I was very stubborn, and did not, and did not learn a trade And afterward {{….}} when I merited to draw close to Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner), and I told him the matter I saw that he derived much satisfaction from this Because then I did not know about Breslov, only my heart was burning so much for Torah, with love for Torah

{Yo}, and he said to me: “You did well, that you did not learn a trade,” yes Oy, oy, oy, oy [Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner)..] Shoyn, close it, close it, close it [How would you pray in.. when you were a Karlin Chassid? Would you shout..?] Ah, ah [How would you pray?] I would shout literally up to, up to the heart of the heavens [No] They all shouted, because everyone, because whoever shouted more, he was more of a Chassid, he was more important [Ah, it was a competition, who would shout louder] Yes, but I did not intend that this should be for importance, or for some ulterior motive Only I, my heart was burning for Hashem Yisbarach, and I shouted with such sounds And beside me was, sat an old man, his name was Reb Kehos [Reb Kehos?] Reb Kehos, yes And.. {..}, and he was, after the prayer he would shout at me and cry, and cry and say: “What do you want from me? You want to make me, ah.. [Deaf] {…}, deaf? You will kill me, kill me You shout, this, this is not a shout, this is in order to kill” [Would he hit you?] Ah? [Would he hit?] No, no, he wanted to hit, but he was a ben Torah and.. yes, God-fearing But he could not bear {this} He was, he suffered great pain from this, I did not know, but he {he felt} And this I.. th.. his grievance, his anger, I remember as though now, as though he is standing next to me now And he shouts at me: “What do you want from me?” [When you were aged thirteen, fourteen Did you know Reb Mottel of Slonim and the sages?] Yo, yes [Yes? You knew them? You learned under them?] Oy, oy vey

Reb Mottel was a great scholar, and a scholar does not seek mitzvos Only the main thing, the main thing—the ultimate purpose—is only to learn and to learn, and to learn And he was a Chassid and God-fearing, and.. and.. and he loved a mitzvah, to do a mitzvah, tzedakah and kindness So he knew that I have a poor and blind father, so he took me into his home And learned with me and spoke with me, and drew me very close And he was to me like, like a father, like a father And he spoke with me about Chassidus, and also about Admorim, and I received {from him} much And I thought about Reb Mottel that there is no one greater than him in the world; he is literally an angel I saw his good character traits; I was always with him by day and by night… ...[To whom did you say it?] I said it to them [To whom?] To.. the people who wanted me to learn a trade [Ah, you said to the people who wanted you to learn a trade—what did you say to them?] So, so they said to me: “From where, from where will you get a livelihood? The yeshivah does not provide a livelihood [You will not be a rav] {Furthermore} you will not be a rav, you are not talented, you will not be a rav [You will not be a rav, not talented, and the yeshivah will not provide you a livelihood] Yes [Yes] So I said: “Bread, bread and water, Hashem Yisbarach will provide that for me {{...}}” So they said to me: “Fine, you want to eat bread and water, but the wife and the children, they, they, they also..?” So I said: “If Hashem Yisbarach wills, Hashem Yisbarach, I hope that Hashem Yisbarach will give me such a wife Who will also {eat}.., will want to make do with bread and water”… ...{All} these stories pertain to drawing close to Rabbainu [Preparation] Preparation, all, all this [All the stories of childhood up until Rabbainu—this is preparation]

From the time I was born, from the time that.. all this was preparation for drawing close to Rabbainu, {..}… ...{….much….} [When you were small, the Karlin Chassidim would drink tea and coffee, and you drank more tea than everyone?] More than everyone, I shouted more than everyone, {and I drank more} [More than everyone, in order to be a true Karlin Chassid] {..}… ...I was in anguish, in very great troubles, and I searched for counsel on how to save myself, and did not, and did not find it until Hashem Yisbarach ar.., I am telling only chapter headings, {not everything} [No, no, tell, ah..] But it is impossible, it is impossible to tell everything, {...} [Tell, what? You remember; I know very well that you remember] Ah.. {I, ah}, yo I searched and searched; I found, found Reb Hirsh Litvak [What did you do with Reb Hirsh Litvak?] {…….}, he was a student of the “Chofetz Chaim,” and he was the.. glory of the entire city [Reb Hirsh Litvak?] And he was, and he was also the glory of the yeshivah [What counsel did he give you?] Ah? [What counsel did he give you?] What? [Did Reb Hirsh Litvak give you counsel? What counsel for the service of Hashem did he give you?] Ah, he, he, he spoke with me And he knew by heart the.. the entire sefer “Reishis Chochmah” He studied the sefer “Reishis Chochmah” so much, for several hours every day while standing, yes And I loved, I loved this, {and I saw this} And I had great esteem for, for, for Reb Hirsh; Reb Hirsh, he, he studies “Reishis Chochmah” so much, and he—I asked him, and he had mercy on me and studied “Reishis Chochmah” and “Zohar” with me In order to instill faith and fear of Heaven in me

And afterward, when Hashem Yisbarach brought it about, Hashem Yisbarach knew that I need Rabbainu So He brought about such circumstances, that I should merit to draw close to Rabbainu And this, and this was all miracles, miracles and wonders, miracles and wonders First of all, what, I had {rebbes} before Rebbe Yisroel, and they studied “Reishis Chochmah” with me And seforim.. and they drew me close to Torah, to Hashem {Yisbarach} [Would you recite a lot of Tehillim before this?] Yes [How much every day?] That I already do not remember.. [Every day would you..?] But, but I searched, searched for Tehillim, searched for seforim, and.. [But you drank a lot of tea and coffee] Yes Afterward I saw, one can live without tea and coffee [Perhaps you remember some other story] In particular, I merited—what I saw from Rebbe Yisroel; I saw that he does not need tea He gets up at Chatzos and not, without tea, without coffee [Rebbe Yisroel] {So..} [Perhaps you remember some other act of tzedakah that you did when you were small, besides the bread?] Besides the bread.. No [No, and yes] I, there are, there are many things [I know that you are embarrassed] Nein (no), but, but I, I do not want to say something that I, that I do not remember clearly [Hashem..] Yes [Let him say what he remembers clearly . The kerosene and the oil, {it illuminates, so that I, so that I will see clearly} Father said that I cause him such troubles; I, I burn the, the, the kerosene And on the day th.. on Erev Shabbos there was no kerosene, “Yisroel Ber, Yisroel Ber came and took the kerosene” And mother said: “The oil? I need the oil for Shabbos” I asked for another {shva}, two drops, two {drops} [Would you get up at Chatzos?] Ah? [Sleep at Chatzos?]

Yes, no, no, not exactly at Chatzos, but I loved to get up two hours, three hours before daybreak [What would you do?] And I went down.., Tehillim, Chatzos, Tehillim… ...And I was, I was.., Hashem Yisbarach gave me a soul such that I yearned for Torah I burned for Torah, for fear of Heaven Nu, I was, I was very {….} In any case, so what I saw, so.. that Chassidim, Chassidim conduct themselves with simplicity And I was the “first” and I.., and I was the greatest, the greatest For example: in Karlin they shout in prayer, and I shouted such shouts that could kill [You could kill the people] Yes, Reb Kehos said to me: “You are killing me, you are making me dead, what do you want from me?” A story from eighty years ago, or ninety years ago [You shouted: “I want Rabbainu..”] Aharon, stop… ...Nu, what was more {….} before the prayer, for example: They would get up half an hour before dawn “They got up half an hour before dawn..”, so they were called: “The great ovdim, the great tzaddikim of the generation” “He gets up half an hour before dawn” {So Rebbe Yisroel is already praying}, and.. and.. and.. and.. and when they get up.. [One needs to drink] Washing the hands, “First, begin to drink.. to drink” Nu, I saw that one needs to drink, I too.., I too.. saw.. “Drinking, drinking” And after this they lie on the bench, lie on the bench for an hour, or two [..] When I drew close to him.. After this Hashem Yisbarach helped me, and I saw Rebbe Yisroel “What is with them? They get up half an hour before dawn, and they are already “the tzaddikim of the generation” And Rebbe Yisroel gets up at Chatzos, and no one knows anything

And he does not need tea, he does not need anything, he needs only a mikveh, and.. and.. and.. and.. {..}” And subsequently Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner).. [Did you go to the mikveh? Before Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner), did you go to the mikveh?] Yes [Yes, every day?] Yes [Would the Karlin Chassidim go to the mikveh?] Yes, yes, not every day, but I, I was.. [From what age did you begin going to the mikveh?] {..}, ah? [From what age did you go to the mikveh] Before the bar mitzvah, ah, after the bar mitzvah it already was, ah.. There could not be a day without a mikveh Before the bar mitzvah, sometimes I went, I, I went {..} [..] {…..} This is all what, what, what, what, what passed over me This was all preparation for the “wedding,” preparation for drawing close to Rabbainu This is what I yearned for and wanted—only Torah and prayer and.. and.. and.. and.. and truth and.. To be hidden, no, t.. no.. yes And Hashem saw, this, this.. {……} [..] My heart, to be in this palace [It goes to waste if you do not know Rabbainu] Yes, certainly, {…} But, but such as these we had not yet seen, exalted, exalted, one sees a Breslov Chassid, “the Chassid” But such as these we had not seen.. Money is nothing, and the body is nothing, and no one helps anything Only Hashem Yisbarach, the Torah and.. and the mitzvos Where does one see such people? Even.. even among the Breslov Chassidim there were great ones, there were, there were precious Jews, true Jews {There were}, only su.. such as Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner), presumably they knew Such people—what Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) could do, no one can do Such a kind of utterly abandoned one, such a, “such as these..” [He would leave his children, leave the family] { Yo}, th.. There is great wisdom in this; within this simplicity there is {..} profound wisdom

Su.., such a kind of wisdom that does not exist in the world, within this sim.., within this simplicity [And what is the wisdom?] Such a kind of th.. th.. it is wisdom, what.. what.. what—there is no one with whom to speak {…} [A servant of Hashem] Certainly, certainly I saw among the Chassidim what they are, so there are precious Jews {among them} {Humility, …}, humility is a precious thing, a precious trait—humility But, he wanted everyone to know that he is humble, {…} [Ah.. ah.. ah.. this is what Rabbainu writes in one of the teachings] {Yes} . And likewise he is a “scholar” He wants, wants the entire world to think, that he should have a name: “He is such a kind of scholar, one of a kind in the world” Yes, it is not enough for him that he is a scholar, no [They need to know, to make it known] Yes {Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy}.. Yes.. what {..}… ...{…} more such things So this.. this is only main points, this is only some something of what I saw with my eyes, this {no one can know} such things…