Tape 94, Side A

...[…]… ...{…} at the engagement [You will surely be at the engagement] Eh? [With Hashem's help, on Monday, this coming Tuesday] Yes? [On Tuesday, one day before Yom Kippur] Oh [One day, two days..] Baruch Hashem [One day before Yom Kippur] {Before pidyon}, the day {the...} will it be open here today? [It will, it will, yes, we will come back here after Rosh Hashanah] Yes [Everyone will be here on Shabbos too] Until, until after Kippur [Until Kippur, Kippur, I don't know, surely each person will do it at his own home, but there will also be people here] Ah, ah [With Hashem's help] Ah, ah, good, with help… ...an apartment and furnishings and clothes and everything [With Hashem's help] {Oy, oy} [With the help of the Creator of the world] Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy [We were just now speaking about the Ten Days of Repentance with the rabbi] Ah [So I advised him like this, I said, instead of saying "with Hashem's help" We will say "with the help of the Holy King"] Ah, ah.. [This..] That is after, after Rosh Hashanah [Yes, after Rosh Hashanah, in three, in four days] Ah [Rosh Hashanah comes out Tuesday and Wednesday, right?] Tuesday and Wednesday [Now we have Thursday] Thursday, yes [Friday, Shabbos] Yes [Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evening the engagement] On Friday evening [Tuesday evening] Tuesday evening, and on Wednesday eve.. [And on Wednesday, the eve of Yom Kippur] The eve of Yom Kippur [Exactly] And Thursday, Kippur [Thursday, Kippur] Yes, oy, Master of the World… ...I think Rabbi Teichner will also be here [Yes, yes, with Hashem's help] Tell him that he should be

[I spoke, I spoke with him] Yes? [When I came here, I told him immediately] He, he, that he should take me [That he is invited.., without a vow, yes, if not, I will try to obtain something] I want to rejoice at the engagement, and afterward at, at, at the wedding, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, do, do not delay the wedding, in its proper time [No, no, yesterday we spoke about it, and we are not delaying We are doing it even in another month, with Hashem's help] How old is she? [She is five months younger than me, five months younger than me] How, how much is that [Twenty-one] Good, good, good [I am twenty-one, and she is twenty and a half] Good, good, good, good, does she work? [With Hashem's help, she will begin] Eh? [She will begin working soon] She will begin working? [Yes] She does not yet work anywhere? [No, meanwhile not, at home] She will never work [What?] It is not good for the woman to work in other places [No, perhaps she is a teacher..] A teacher? That is good [With Hashem's help] Yes? [She is a teacher of crafts and writing] Only not, not {in all houses} [No, no, God forbid] She is a teacher? [She is a teacher, she studied at "Ohr HaChaim"] At.. ["Ohr HaChaim"] At "Ohr HaChaim" [Yes, do you know where "Ohr HaChaim" is? In Bnei Brak] In Bnei Brak [That is where Rabbi Teichner's mother is a supervisor] Yes? Yes? Nu, and she did not, did not, did not know about her? [Now I told Rabbi Teichner, and Rabbi Teichner told his mother, and said to me: "Listen, you have a girl from Heaven"] {… Good, good, good} [From the Holy One, blessed is He] Ah, never forget to thank and praise Hashem, for this great miracle, and this great kindness that we have no, we have no conception, it is a kindness, it is a treasure, the treasure of all treasures

Ah… ...Master of the World, Master of the World, oy, oy, oy, ay, ay.. And afterward, with the help of Hashem blessed be He, I want to merit to be at the bris milah and at the wedding [Oh, with Hashem's help] {And at your joyous occasion} [With Hashem's help] Yes, I have, Baruch Hashem, I have time, I have a blessing from.. I have a blessing from our holy Rabbainu [Yes?] Yes [For the bris milah or what, or for the wedding?] Eh? [Why?] I have a blessing from our holy Rabbainu [Yes?] That I will live a long life [With Hashem's help, with the help of the Holy King] Only I, who, who knows? God forbid, perhaps sin will cause it, I, but, but I have a blessing And not one thing from his words returns empty and void, everything that he said, we see I drew close to our holy Rabbainu seventy, about seventy years ago [Yes] And I managed to suffer, to suffer from this, what I suffered You know there was great opposition from the whole world [Opposition to Breslov, I know] Yes, and I, in the place where I lived in Teveria, in Tzfas, was the root of the opponents [Yes?] {Nu} great ones, great ones [Of the opponents] Chassidim and.. yes, and they were all opposed to me, and called me, and called me a "traitor," I.. But what I suffered, it is impossible to tell and impossible to explain So I suffered very much, and it was not, not my will to have this But I, now I see the greatness, the greatness of the value of, of.. Of the suffering and anguish that one suffers for a holy matter [Today one sees it, after a certain time one sees the..] Yes, yes, yes, afterward one sees [The good] Ah, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem ["Taste and see that Hashem is good"]

Oy vey, oy vey, {…..}, oy, oy Perhaps there is a glass of tea?… ...[The engagement, with Hashem's help, this you know, so that you will have no doubts It is women separately, men separately, certainly] Ah [With Hashem's help, everything is kosher and upright] {Baruch}, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem [Kosher and upright] From every side, from all sides [From all sides, there are people there, Baruch Hashem, there are God-fearing people there] Yes, brothers, her brothers [Her brothers, her brother too, Baruch Hashem, excellent] Yes? [She has two more sisters, Baruch Hashem] Perhaps you will merit to tell them about our holy Rabbainu, this, this surpasses everything Slowly, slowly [And the parents, Baruch Hashem, her parents' family] {….} [One, one tzaddik, a tzaddik] Oy, oy, oy [Tzaddikim, they are Torah and Torah, and Torah, and Torah] Yes, in the merit, in the merit, in the merit that you merited to draw close to our holy Rabbainu, this.. He, he gives us all kinds of counsel, all kinds of salvations That you merited to draw close to our holy Rabbainu in truth and with faith, this This thing will bring upon you all, all the blessings in the world, all the good bounty, all the blessings, yes [Rebbe Yisroel, without a vow, I want you to recite one of the blessings at my wedding, without a vow] No, no [Why not?] I have no strength and I have no.. [Blessing] I have no voice, I have no voice [There is a microphone today] Perhaps, one blessing perhaps [Yes, a blessing] A blessing [Without a vow, with Hashem's help] {…}, when are you thinking of making the.. [In Cheshvan, without a vow] In Cheshvan [Cheshvan] {..} [Middle, end of Cheshvan] Certainly [One needs to prepare, one needs to learn a great deal] Yes, yes, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, how, does she have an apartment? Does she have, does she have money?

She, is she a teacher? [We will manage, with Hashem's help] Yes, with Hashem's help [My parents are prepared to help me with everything, but we will manage] Ah, yes, your parents [My parents and hers] Do they have, do they have {what if} a livelihood? [They have fear of Heaven, more than money] Ah [Everything is the Holy One, blessed be He, the Holy One, blessed be He will help] {Are they Chareidi} your parents? [My parents?] So-so, so-so [So-so, so-so] Nu, may Hashem blessed be He have mercy on them [But with Hashem's help they will all return one day] All, everyone, yes ["Behold, days are coming, says Hashem"] Baruch Hashem, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, I know, I see now… ...Our holy Rabbainu traveled to Eretz Yisroel during wartime And there is a great story, what he went through, {…} presumably you saw it? [Yes] Yes, and Baruch Hashem he came to Eretz Yisroel in peace, and returned in peace by way of wondrous miracles What, what is impossible to grasp And when he came from Eretz Yisroel, there was the righteous Rav, the Maggid from the city of Trovitsa, Trovitsa He was unique, he was an old man, and our holy Rabbainu was like a child, twenty-something years old And he was, he knew him, the Baal Shem Tov, the Maggid of Trovitsa He was a gaon and a very great tzaddik, and he was a disciple of the Baal Shem Tov And he was unique among the true tzaddikim, he was the only one who nullified himself before our holy Rabbainu And said to him: that you are Rebbe [..] Do you know of this? It is in "Chayei Moharan" {……} And when he came from Eretz Yisroel, our holy Rabbainu was in some village, not far from him, from the Maggid of Trovitsa He, he traveled through there, and the village where Rabbainu was, was not far from Trovitsa

And.. and he, and it became known to him that our holy Rabbainu had come, Baruch Hashem, from Eretz Yisroel, and he was in the village And then he he, he was, not, was not ready, dressed, was not ready for the journey, he needed to dress and.. So he immediately began to run, and said, and said, that they should follow him with a wagon And he ran with such force, such speed, that he arrived before the wagon; the wagon set out immediately after him And he came to our holy Rabbainu before the wagon came, because such fervor He was unique among the great tzaddikim, in that he recognized the, the, somewhat the greatness of our holy Rabbainu And he was an old man, said, said to Rabbainu: "You are my Rebbe," yes And it was truly, not, not, not, not just merely with the mouth, mere speech [By how many years was he older than him?] Eh? [By how many years was the..] The Maggid? [Was the Maggid older than the Rebbe, than Rabbainu?] He was an old man, eighty, eighty years old, he ran like, like, like a child He ran to see our holy Rabbainu when he came from Eretz Yisroel [How old was Rabbainu when he was in the Land?] Once.., Rabbainu? [How old was Rabbainu?] Rabbainu was about twenty, twenty, twenty-eight, twenty-six years, and seven years When he came from Eretz Yisroel Once.., it is written in "Chayei Moharan," came, the Maggid had, he was a gaon And he, there is an approbation from him on the "Shulchan Aruch" of the Rav, of the Tanya [On the "Shulchan Aruch," or on the siddur?] Eh? [On the "Shulchan Aruch," or on the siddur] Of, of the Tanya, of.. [On the "Shulchan Aruch" of the Tanya?] On his "Shulchan Aruch" [Or on the siddur of the Tanya?] No, no, no, on the "Shulchan Aruch," on, on some book of his, on his books

Nu, it appears from this, that he was not.., after all this is just some, just He had some matter, a very deep matter, and.. and it was very difficult for him And he was by several great, holy tzaddikim, and asked them about it And they told him some answer, but he was not satisfied And he, {and he began} to think that he would ask Rabbainu And he came to Rabbainu, and our holy Rabbainu told him a Torah about it, about that which was difficult for him, and he {said} yes and when he heard this Torah from Rabbainu's mouth, then he saw that it was not human intellect, this, this, this was very awesome; he went out of his mind, and he thought, that such a Torah could not be put into writing Afterward Rebbe Nassan came and wrote this Torah, and he put it in writing, {yes} Then he said to our holy Rabbainu: "You are a very awesome novelty" This is what the Maggid of Trovitsa said to our holy Rabbainu He saw that this, this was a wonder, a very awesome wonder Then Rabbainu said to him, he said to him that you, that you are an awesome wonder, great and very awesome Then Rabbainu said to him: "A novelty..", he said to him such a new wonder, very awesome "You are a very awesome novelty" Then Rabbainu said to him: "A novelty like me has not yet been in the world," yes And when he came from Eretz Yisroel, Rabbainu said on Shabbos, at Shalosh Seudos, at Minchah, after Minchah, at Shalosh Seudos he said this Torah, this Torah, "For, when you pass through the waters, I am with you" This Torah he said to him: “Ah, you have a portion in the.., in this some portion, {yo}, and you will be enlivened {through this} {…} [Likutey Moharan 73] 73, "When you pass through the waters, I am with you" [But this is not..] {This is important\not simple} [This is not the Torah concerning which he, the Maggid of Trovitsa, had the question?] Eh?

[Isn't this the teaching about which the Maggid of Trovitz had the question—is this that teaching?] After the journey from the Land of Israel, after he returned from the journey to the Land of Israel It was on Shabbos; he said a teaching on Shabbos night, and also at the Third Meal; at the Third Meal he also said a teaching And this is, this is the teaching of the {Third Meal} [“When you pass through the waters, I am with you”; and behold, the Torah is concealed and revealed, and the Holy One, blessed be He, is also concealed and revealed. That is, what is revealed to us is the garment and the externality, and what is hidden from us is the inwardness And behold, every person must rouse himself to attain the inwardness—what is hidden from him But how can he reach what is hidden from him? Through prayer for its own sake, by binding the thought to the speech] {{….. ….}} prayer for its own sake [Yes] {Yo}, that he bind.. [What is prayer for its own sake? What is called prayer for its own sake?] Yes [That he bind the thought to the speech of the prayer with a firm and strong bond For the Holy One, blessed be He, yearns for the prayers of the righteous. And why? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, desires kindness—He] desires kindness [And always wants to bestow beneficences and blessings.. And the beneficence cannot, and no beneficence can descend] Yes [Except through a vessel called ‘ani’] ‘Ani’ [As it is said: ‘And I will bless them’] ‘And I will bless them’; ani—this is the blessing of.. this is all the blessings; the bounty and the blessing are through the vessel ‘ani’ “And I will bless them” [And the aforementioned vessel is made by each Jew when he prays in a manner in which he binds the thought to the speech] to the speech [For every Jew is called a tzaddik, as it is said: ‘And Your people are all tzaddikim’] ‘All tzaddikim’ [And the tzaddik is called ‘aleph’] ‘Aleph’ [From the expression ‘alufeinu mesubalim’] ‘Alufeinu’

[And the ‘nun’ is called speech, because speech is malchus] Malchus is the mouth [In the manner of “malchus is the mouth”] Nu [And malchus is called ‘nun,’ as it is written: ‘May his name endure—yinon’] ‘May his name endure—yinon’; Rashi explained [Rashi explained: “An expression of kingship,” and the yud..] ‘Yinon’ is an expression of kingship [And the ‘yud’ is made through thought] And ‘yinon’ is ‘nun’ [Yes, malchus is called ‘nun,’ as it is written: ‘May his name endure—yinon’; Rashi's explanation: “An expression of kingship”] So we already have ‘aleph’ and ‘nun’ [Now the ‘yud’] Now {we need, this is} the letter ‘yud’ [And the ‘yud’ is made through thought] Ah, nu [Which he binds to the speech, as mentioned above] Ah [For thought is called ‘yud,’ as it is written:] So [“Then Moshe will sing,” and Rashi explained: “‘Yud’ was said in reference to the thought”] ‘Yud’ {{this is in reference to the thought}} [And the vessel called ‘ani’ is completed] Ah, ‘ani’ [And the bounty descends and is completed, and the bounty descends and the desire of Hashem, blessed be He, is fulfilled, for He desires kindness] {Yo} [And therefore Hashem, blessed be He] Yearns [Yearns for their prayers. And it is known that one who receives pleasure from another is called ‘nukva,’ meaning, in relation to him] in relation to him [And it follows] Yes [When Hashem, blessed be He, receives pleasure from the Jewish people from their prayers, He becomes, as it were, a nukva in relation to the Jewish people And this is what is written: “A woman, a pleasing aroma to Hashem” For through the pleasing aroma that Hashem, blessed be He, receives from the prayers of the Jewish people, He is made in the mystery of ‘woman’] ‘A woman,’ “A woman, a pleasing aroma to Hashem,” {and what pleasing aroma} [“And a female shall surround a man”] Shall surround a man [If so, the inwardness becomes externality] Externality is an expression of ‘garment,’ {this, this is a garment} [Yo, and this is the explanation of the verse: “When you pass through the waters”; “and you pass” is an expression of ‘revelation’]

‘Revelation’ [As it is written: “And Hashem will pass through to smite Egypt,” and Onkelos translated] Yo [‘And Hashem will reveal Himself’] {‘And He will reveal Himself’} [And “water means only Torah”] Only Torah [And the explanation is: when you want what is hidden in the Torah to be revealed to you, ‘ani is with you’ That is, see to it that you make the vessel called ‘ani,’ as mentioned above] ‘Ani,’ this is to con.. when one merits to bind the thought to the speech, to the speech Every word that comes out in the prayer—the entire thought must be there; not to cause, not to think about some, some matter, even anything in the world; only the thought should be bound to the word that he brings out of his mouth… ...May He have mercy on Malkiel; he, he is a very precious soul. His faith and trust—this is wondrous and awesome He doesn't have.. Always, he is always joyful, {yes} [That is how one must be, always joyful] He has no money, he has none; Hashem, blessed be He, provides him everything in its proper time, and in its time—what he needs I heard {from him} wonders, wonders He owed one man money, so he went—he does not want {to hold back} other people's money for himself—he, he went to pay him back; then he took out more money, and returned it to him, and gave him more money, and more stories like these. He is a master, a master of miracles [That is the Holy One, blessed be He] He—his faith and his truth, it is very awesome [One must believe in this path, believe strongly, and accept it Every thing, every step, every pace, every finger, every movement—the Holy One, blessed be He] Blessed is Hashem, blessed is Hashem, ah, ah “May You gladden”; this is great joy. And give thanks and acknowledgment to Hashem, blessed be He, for this great miracle and kindness. You have truly been renewed; these are life, new life [Yes] New life

One sees that this is from Hashem, from Heaven, without, without any, without any action, without any.. [Everything is directed from Above] Yes [Everything is directed] One must be careful to derive a lesson: that everything is from Hashem, blessed be He—only faith We do not understand, but faith—this is faith truly about, about.. {….} it is truth If there is faith, but in something false, it is not called faith; it, it.. [Correct] Yes, blessed is Hashem, we merited to know from our holy Rabbainu, who instills in us such faith, that he.. New; such faith that.. such faith that we only need to accept {….} [We need to learn] Ah, blessed is Hashem, blessed is Hashem. And I, I also see by me several, several wondrous things For example, this Aharon—he is a baal teshuva [Yes, I know] You know about this And he—I cannot bear it—he, he regards me as a great person, as.. But I know the truth. I, I say to him: You need to be careful. Here, Breslov is truth, and if you believe in me, that I.. {….} This, and this is the opposite. I, I am a completely simple man Only I, I merited, through Hashem's kindness, to know a Breslover chassid What is this? If I had not known this man, my teacher Rebbe Yisroel—Rebbe Yisroel was his name [Rebbe Yisroel, what?] Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner) [Kardonner] Kardon—he was from a city, there is Kardon, there is Kardon in Galicia, in Russia [And you merited to know him?] They call him Kardonner, Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner), but his family name is [Yes] Halperin [Heiklin?] Halperin [Halperin?] Yes, that is his family name [Yes] And.. and he also had sorrow, sorrow, great sorrow and great suffering from drawing close to Rabbainu

Because then the whole world was [an opponent] Opponents, yes, you know about that [Yes, I know that there were many opponents to the teachings of Chassidus in general, and to Breslov in particular] Yes But you know what you know, but what I know, you do not know [No, you know much more] What I saw, what I saw, what Rabbainu, the holy Rabbi Nachman, can make of a human being born of woman Such a holy man, this, this is beyond nature What I saw by him, just to hear his voice, a voice, a voice, it was pleasant And he was always cleaving to Hashem, blessed be He, particularly in Torah and prayer No, no, no, I saw, I never heard such a thing in my life Because of this I drew close, by me it was.. and Hashem, blessed be He, brought causes about, yes Causes, miracles, all of them miracles I was, from the time I came to awareness, when I was little, six, seven years old I loved the Torah and fear of Heaven and faith very much, but.. But I had great bitterness, I suffered greatly from the evil inclination, there is an evil inclination, and it wants only this world It wants all, all, all of this world, all the desires and all.. nu, {….} And I saw, I was God-fearing, and I loved the Torah very much; when I saw a person who knew books And he spoke idle things {mainly}, and did not, did not guard his time, then I said: "What is this? Is he crazy? If I could, could read from a book, then I would, I would not, I would not rest No, no, I would not be idle for even one moment," yes [Yes, from the Torah] Yes I heard about all kinds of Chassidus, and only of the name 'Breslov,' I never heard in my life that there was a name 'Breslov' in the world A kind of Chassidus whose name is 'Breslov,' I did not hear, I did not hear

But Hashem, blessed be He, knows, knows the heart, He knows the thought and the heart ['He knows the secrets of every living thing'] Yes, yes ['He searches the chambers of the innards'] Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes ['He sees the kidneys and the heart'] Yes ['And nothing is hidden from before Your eyes'] Yes [….] So He saw that I abandon myself and disgrace myself before people I {...}, when I saw one old and God-fearing man, then I {wanted}.., then I told him my whole heart So that he would take me out of the darkness and the desires [From the darkness, and show you the light] Yes, Hashem, blessed be He, saw my heart, and He wanted to do kindness with me, to draw close to Rabbainu—and how? I do not even know that there is Breslov in the world; how will I, how will I draw close to Rabbainu? So Hashem, blessed be He, brought about a cause, that I was in the courtyard of the yeshiva, I after, after.. I studied in the yeshiva in Teveria by the grave of Rabbi Meir Baal HaNess, do you know? [Yes, yes] You were there [I know it in Teveria] Yes, it stands between the.. between the fields, between fields, between mountains, between.. [Yes] Yes And I loved to go out to walk among the mountains, in the fields, even, even before I drew close to Rabbainu; and when I became seventeen years old, I had very hard wars with the evil inclination [yes] What does one do? I did not know of Rabbainu, I did not know, so Hash.. so Hashem, blessed be He, brought it about, th.. That I went out of the yeshiva to the courtyard, and in the cour.,. to take a cup of tea, and in the courtyard stood a garbage can And I saw.., a can, a garbage can [Yes] And I saw there "sheimos," a book like this without, without, without, without a cover, without, without a beginning and without an end, "sheimos," nu, I was God-fearing, and it was in disgrace, in disgrace in a garbage can

[Yes] Yes, so I took them in order to throw it into the genizah; there was a genizah, old books that were torn that stand like this, so they put them in the genizah; there were many "sheimos" in the genizah {It was} this book was also in the genizah [But not in a garbage can] Eh? [Only that it should not be in a garbage can] Yes, yes So I went with the book to throw it into the genizah, and before I threw it, before I threw it.. It was like this, "sheimos," {...} "sheimos"; before I threw it I saw that the name of the book was "Hishtapchus HaNefesh." I was accustomed to reading many books, mussar books and Chassidic books, and.. yes, and I had not seen a book like this whose name was "Hishtapchus HaNefesh," I had not seen, no So when I saw that the name of the book was "Hishtapchus HaNefesh," I thought in my mind: "Maybe, maybe this is good for me, maybe this is providence from Hashem, blessed be He, that I should have this book," yes So I began to read, I began to read, I began to read, I read one page And I saw that it was for me, that it was good for me Such good that it did not.. I immediately saw that it was very good for me And this is good for me, so that I will succeed in conquering all the wars, what, everything that I suffer So I did not throw the book inside the genizah, and I took it and slipped myself away from the yeshiva to the field To the field, among the mountains, {with} the book, and I began to read from the book And because I wanted to save myself from the evil inclination, I searched and searched, and searched, yes I had, I had favors, salvations, but such a salvation that I would have To conquer all the wars easily—no, I never had that in my life I read in the book a page, two pages, and immediately fulfilled what was written there And I saw such wonders, what I had not seen in all the days of my life; I search in books, and I see salvations

But such a thing, that I had such a wonder from the words of this book, I never had in my life But I did not know from whom it was; it was 'sheimos,' without a beginning and without an end, I did not know from whom it was Nu, and these 'sheimos,' the pages were like a treasure to me, I guarded them very much Because every, every day I went with the book into the field and read, and immediately fulfilled what, what, what I read, and I saw such wonders: nullification, nullification of nature, overturning nature One time I sat in my bed… ...And one friend came, I was a Karliner, there is Karlin Chassidus [Karlin] Have you heard? [I have not heard] Good, good, there is a kind of Chassidus whose name is Karlin, Karlin And.. and a friend of mine from the Karlin Chassidim came; I was a Karlin Chassid, and he was also a Karlin Chassid And he, and he saw that I was reading with fervor, with seriousness, with love, with great arousal, with fervor In the book, so he, he saw the book "Hishtapchus HaNefesh," so he said to me: "What are you doing? You are reading from this book?" {Yes}, but I had already tasted the taste of the book, and I saw wonders [He said that this book is not good?] Yes, certainly [He said that it is forbidden to read?] "The book is forbidden, forbidden, forbidden to read in this book; it is from the books of Breslov" Yes, so he said to me: "You are reading from this book?" And I became very agitated, and entered into great anger, and I said to him: "It is not your business; this book is good for me, it is a holy book, and I see great wonders from it" So he said to me: "Animal, you are an animal, you are not a human being, have you not heard of Breslov? That there is, that it is forbidden, forbidden to read the books of Breslov?"

So all the Admorim in the whole world are opponents of, of Breslov “And you…” So I said to him: “Let all the Admorim and all the kings and everyone.. come, I will not listen to anyone; for me it is good” So he, he struck me and said to me: “You are such an insolent one against all the Admorim, against, against all the Admorim, against the Rebbe, of Karlin [Yes] {He thinks that he..} “Everyone says it is forbidden to read the book, the Breslov books, and you want to read?” So he, he overpowered me, and took the book from me by force, I was left.. I did not want to give it to him in any way, but he was more, stronger than I And he took the book out of my possession by force, and went, and I was left an orphan, without the book But I had already read the book several times and tasted the taste So what I remembered, I would continue and go among, in the fields, in the field, and I prayed to Hashem Yisborach that He arrange for me.. I already, I, I was left without the book, but I had the gain that I heard That there is, there is a Chassidus ‘Breslov,’ that it is forbidden to study Breslov books So, so I prayed to Hashem Yisborach that He arrange for me, that He arrange for me Breslov books and Breslov Chassidim I want to be a Breslov Chassid, yes, yes, this is how I prayed to Hashem Yisborach And not much time passed, and in Tzfas lived my teacher, my holy teacher Rebbe Yisroel (Kardonner), Rebbe Yisroel, Rebbe Yisroel And he was such a wonder, the like of which does not exist in the world I grew up among great Chassidim, strict Chassidim, meticulous in the mitzvos and.. But I saw this man, I saw that everyone stands outside, that they know nothing Of faith, of Hashem Yisborach, of the Torah, they all study

But I saw compared, compared to him, he is unique, he is unique in the world, there is, there is, there is none like him But I did not, did not know him, and I did not know that in Tzfas, in Tzfas there was Rebbe Yisroel I did not know him and did not know But Hashem Yisborach first informed me that there is a Breslov Chassidus, that it is forbidden to study {his book} So I prayed to Hashem Yisborach that He give me, that He arrange for me Breslov books and Breslov Chassidim I prayed, and Hashem Yisborach did wonders with me, supreme kindness In Tzfas lived my holy teacher Rebbe Yisroel, I did not know him and had not heard of him He was, he was staying {}in Meron And he served Hashem there in solitude, there was not a single creature, he had the key to the synagogue Of Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai, yes, and he was there alone in hisbodedus And he also went among the mountains to do hisbodedus and to pray, and he occupied himself with the service of Hashem with self-sacrifice What did He do, Hashem Yisborach wanted Rebbe Yisroel to go from Meron, from Meron to Teveria, to Yisroel Ber {A wonder, I to Yisroel b..} But Rebbe Yisroel would not leave Meron, even if he has all, all the money in the world, all, all, all.. He, he will leave Meron, Rebbe Shimon? [{Because of} Rebbe Shimon Bar Yochai?] Yes, he will leave such a holy place and go to Teveria? What does he have, what does he have in Teveria? {After all, every place in the world}, only, only Meron, Meron The family lived in Tzfas, and he was in Meron the whole week, and he went from day, every Friday he went from Meron to Tzfas, nu, who, who would say that Rebbe Yisroel would go to Teveria? How, how? [Rebbe Yisroel Ber you say, from Teveria to Meron?] Yes, yes, so it is a pity, a pity that you were not…

...Hashem Yisborach knew that Rebbe Yisroel would not move from Meron to Teveria, what did He do? He sent him an illness on a hand, on, on his hand, and the pains, and very great pain And the pains intensified from day to day, from hour to hour, such pains that it is impossible to speak one utterance He could not pray, nor do any service And he did not, did not attribute anything to the natural way, only [Everything is the Holy One Blessed Be He] Everything is the providence of the Creator, when he saw such a thing, then he began to think: Perhaps it is the Creator’s will that he go to Teveria What is there in Teveria? In Teveria the climate is warmer than Meron and Tzfas [And he will be healthy] He will not be healthy, but, but there will not be such great pains, so that he can pray and occupy himself with the service of Hashem But nevertheless no, even though he had all such pains and began to think about it He, he was in doubt, he, he had doubts Whether he should go, whether he should leave Rebbe Shimon and go to Teveria, whether not Because he thought perhaps, how is such a thing possible, when a person is in distress, he further flees from Meron, from Rebbe Shimon, to Teveria? One needs to flee to Rebbe Shimon, to pray, to ask for healing, {not, not to go} But he was, he was in doubt, perhaps it is the Creator’s will that he go to Teveria, perhaps not So as long as he did not know clearly, that the Creator’s will was that he go to Teveria, then he would go immediately, but he did not know So he had hisbodedus, and he asked much of Hashem Yisborach that He illuminate in his thought, in his mind, what to do—if it is the Creator’s will that I go to Teveria, I am traveling immediately to Teveria So I want to know only what is the Creator’s will, if not, if yes, if yes, if not So he had hisbodedus about this, and he had doubts, whether to go, whether not to go

So, so he prayed so much, until Hashem Yisborach illuminated his eyes and brought about a circumstance So that he saw clearly, that he knew clearly that the Creator’s will was that he go to Teveria This was on Wednesday, on Wednesday He… ...Rebbe Yisroel early in the morning and went to the donkey owner, and hired a donkey to go to Teveria On Thursday, the eve of Shabbos, he can go Sunday, after Shabbos No, he, since he knew clearly that the Creator’s will was that he go to Teveria, so he went on Thursday; he came to Teveria And just when he descended from the donkey, he needed a loaf of bread to eat the evening meal {...}…