הִתְחַזְּקוּת

Sometimes a person is already at the very doorway of holiness [peh hapesach shel ha'kedushah] — and he turns back, because the Sitra Achra [the Other Side] and the ba'al davar [the adversarial force] then assail him with an enormously powerful assault, may the Merciful One protect us, and do not allow him to enter through the gateway. And through this he falls in his mind and retreats entirely, Heaven forbid. For it is the way of the ba'al davar and the Sitra Achra — when they see that a person is literally close to the gateways of holiness and is about to enter — they then spread themselves against him with an enormously powerful force, may the Merciful One protect us. Therefore one must then summon great strength against them — to stand firm in one's place, to not abandon one's ground, and to pay no heed to the falls and descents and confusions that pass over him; rather to strengthen oneself greatly to overcome them and to do what one can in the service of Hashem. And with the passage of days and years, one will safely enter, with Hashem Yisborach's help, through the gateways of holiness — for Hashem Yisborach is full of mercy and greatly desires our service. And know: all the movements and uprooting whereby a person is detached and uprooted each time even a little from his physicality toward the service of Hashem — they all gather and join and connect and come to his aid in time of need, when there is, Heaven forbid, any pressing distress [dochak] and a time of trouble, Heaven forbid [chas v'shalom]. And know: there is a tree upon which leaves grow, each leaf requiring a hundred years to grow; and presumably during those hundred years it passes through whatever it passes through. And at the end of the hundred years it shoots with a great sound — like a firearm [urmatzye — Yiddish: a rifle]. And the parable is self-understood.

A person must strengthen himself in the service of Hashem with whatever he can — even as he is, just as he is — and rely upon Hashem Yisborach's immeasurably great mercies, for He will certainly not abandon him even if he has transgressed what he has transgressed. The past is gone [he'avar ayin] — and the essential thing from here onward is that he should no longer do so — and he should be shaiv v'al ta'aseh [sitting and not acting — i.e., passively refraining] in any case, both in deed and in thought; for the thoughts of such a person [who has fallen] are also considered action — for even in the World of Action [Olam Ha'Asiyah] there is thought; and he must be shaiv v'al ta'aseh in deed and thought as above. And as for what happens to him of its own accord [mimailah] — he should not pay attention to it or look upon it at all. And know that it is inevitable that all of the above-mentioned will pass over him — for this is the essential complete teshuvah: when a person passes through those very same places and dimensions that he was in before, and now he turns his back on them and forces his yetzer [inclination] to no longer do what he did — both in deed and in thought as above. This is the essence of complete teshuvah.

It has already been explained above regarding the thousands and tens of thousands of ascents and descents — without measure — that must pass over a person before one merits to the service of Hashem in completeness; and that even the greatest tzaddikim passed through all of this. And the essential thing is to be very strong in one's mind — to hold on to the service of Hashem forever and to pay no heed to anything in the world, and never to abandon His service, blessed be He. And even if one should pass through, Heaven forbid, all the falls in the world — even so one should strengthen oneself in the service of Hashem with whatever one can. And the essential thing is not to despair, Heaven forbid — but rather to begin anew every single time, as if one had not yet begun at all to enter His service, blessed be He, and is only now beginning fresh; and so every single time, always. And sometimes one must begin anew several times in a single day.

When a person sees that he has been praying and beseeching and entreating at great length for so long a time to merit drawing close to His service, blessed be He — and even so he is not regarded at all, and it seems as if they are not listening to him; on the contrary, it seems to him as if he is being pushed further away from His service in every manner of distancing, as if he is not wanted at all — and through this he falls in his mind and loosens himself from the service of Hashem, Heaven forbid: then he must be very ashamed of himself for this — for having entertained thoughts against Hashem Yisborach's ways; for in truth Hashem Yisborach is certainly compassionate and gracious, etc., and certainly wishes to draw him close, etc. Therefore one must return and strengthen one's mind — to begin anew every single time as above.

Every person, according to his own level — the more he wishes to enter the service of Hashem, the more the ba'al davar assails him and provokes him. It is like two people fighting each other: when one sees that his companion is gaining strength against him, he then summons all his power and gains even more strength against him. And from this comes the fact that sometimes the ba'al davar assails a person more than usual — and this is because the evil sees that some good has begun to awaken in the person, and so it gains strength against him all the more. Therefore a person must be wise regarding this matter, and "through strategies make war" [Proverbs 24:6] — to strengthen himself against the evil with great fortification every single time. [Translator's note: No source citation appears in this edition for this teaching.]

Sometimes it seems to a person that it is far from him that he should merit eternal life [chayyei Olam HaBa] — given the greatness of his distance from Hashem Yisborach. Even so, he should be strong and courageous in his mind to draw toward and yearn and long always for Hashem Yisborach, and to do with joy what he can in the service of Hashem; and he should be willing to serve Hashem always all the days of his life even without Olam HaBa. And even if it should appear to him that there will be Gehinnom for him, Heaven forbid — let it be whatever it will be: he is obligated to do what is his at all times and to engage in the service of Hashem with whatever he can — to seize and do some mitzvah or Torah or prayer and the like; and Hashem who is good in His eyes will do.

Even if a person does not merit to the service of Hashem — even so, as long as he still hopes to Hashem Yisborach, he certainly must strengthen and fortify himself greatly in this alone as well — in the dimension of "Be strong and let your hearts take courage, all who hope to Hashem" [Psalms 31:25]. And he should not fall in his mind from anything in the world — for there is no greater evil than falling [nefilah], may the Merciful One protect us. And so too every single person must strengthen his fellow, that he should not fall in his mind from anything in the world. And even if he knows about himself that he is as he is — even so he should strengthen his fellow; for it is easier to strengthen one's fellow than to strengthen oneself — for "a prisoner cannot free himself" [Talmud Bavli, Berachos 5b], etc. And when he merits to not cause his fellow to fall, Heaven forbid — even though he knows about himself that he is far from the service of Hashem — but on the contrary he strengthens him with all forms of strengthening, and revives him [v'ychayaihu] and restores him [v'yshivaihu] with all manner of words that restore the soul [hameshivin es ha'nefesh] [Translator's note: the source contains a deliberate wordplay — v'yshivaihu [restores him] and hameshivin es ha'nefesh [that restore the soul] share the same root שוב [return/restore]. The person who cannot return himself to G-d can still be the vehicle through which restoring words flow to another — and these very words of restoration are themselves from the same root as teshuvah]: through this it is possible that afterward he himself will merit to return and come back to the service of Hashem through this.

Regarding certain people who draw close to the service of Hashem Yisborach and then draw away — even so, even the temporary drawing-close [hiskarvus shel lifee sha'ah] is also precious in the eyes of Hashem Yisborach — even though afterward what happened, happened, Heaven forbid.