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ערך תוכחה

ערך תוכחה

עצות ישרות - עצות ישרות

2

**************** לפעמים כשאדם מוכיח את עצמו או את חברו ומתחיל להזכיר המעשים רעים שעשה, אזי שכיח שיפל עוד יותר ויותר, כי נופל בדעתו מאד, ויש שנפלו מאד על ידי זה וכל זה נמשך מבחינת התוכחה שאינה כראוי, שמחלשת כח הנשמה על ידי שמעוררין הריח רע של עוונות, כי עקר התוכחה צריכה להיות בבחינת מטה כלפי חסד, לחפש למצא בעצמו וכן בחברו על כל פנים איזה נקודות טובות, והתוכחה תהיה בדרך חסד לחזק את עצמו ואת חברו בהשם יתברך ולבטח ברחמיו העצומים, שיש אצלו חסד כזה, שגם כל המעשים רעים יכולין להתהפך לזכויות, אפלו אם הרבה לפשע מאד, חס ושלום, כי עם השם החסד והרבה עמו פדות וכו', ועקר התוכחה תהיה באפן שיחזק את עצמו ואת חברו להתעורר להשם יתברך ולהתחיל מעתה להתקרב אליו יתברך, ולא שיקלקל יותר על ידי תוכחתו, שיפל חס ושלום יותר ולתוכחה כזאת אין זוכין כי אם על ידי שמקשרין עצמו לצדיקי הדור, שהם בחינת משה, שעל ידי תוכחתם מוסיפים ונותנים ריח טוב בהנשמות. הלכות ציצית, הלכה ה', אות ז):

2

Now — in the footsteps of the Mashiach, at the end of the exile — when the exile and the baal davar and the sitra achra intensify greatly — and the essential [intensification] is that heresy [apikorsus] has spread and is spreading greatly in the world — all of this intensification is the aspect of the birth-pangs [chevlei leida] — the birth-pangs of the Mashiach. For all of this derives from the root of the judgment of the aspect of the vacated space aforementioned. And therefore there is now no power to stand against them — except through the power of the very great Tzaddikim aforementioned: who can enter there — into the aspect of the vacated space — and sweeten the judgment at its very root. Through which the entire power of the yetzer hara of all who come into the world — drawn from there — is nullified. Therefore every person must be careful to lay the tefillin of Rabbainu Tam — which are drawn from the aspect of the high expanded consciousness of those Tzaddikim aforementioned. In order to receive power from them — to shatter the yetzer hara that has now greatly intensified — drawn from there. Sometimes when a person rebukes himself or his fellow and begins to recall the evil deeds that were done — it is common for him to fall even more and more. For he falls greatly in his mind. And there are those who have fallen greatly through this. And all of this derives from the aspect of rebuke that is not as it should be — which weakens the power of the soul through arousing the foul odor of sins. For the essential rebuke must be in the aspect of tilting toward kindness [mateh k'lapei chesed]: to seek and to find in oneself — and likewise in one's fellow — at the very least some good points. And the rebuke should be in the manner of kindness — to strengthen oneself and one's fellow in G-d — and to trust in His immense compassion. For He has such kindness — that even all the evil deeds can be transformed into merits. Even if one has greatly multiplied transgression, G-d forbid. For "with G-d is kindness, and with Him is abundant redemption, etc." And the essential rebuke should be in a manner that one strengthens himself and his fellow to awaken toward G-d — and to begin to draw close to Him from now on. And not that through his rebuke he causes even more ruin — that the person falls even more, G-d forbid. And for such rebuke one can only merit through binding oneself to the Tzaddikim of the generation — who are the aspect of Moshe. Through whose rebuke [the rebuke of such Tzaddikim] they add and bestow a good fragrance upon the souls.

3

עקר החיוב לדבר עם חברו ביראת שמים ולהאיר בו הדעת האמתי הוא רק בשביל להרחיב דעתו של חברו, כי העקר - להוציא את עצמו ואת חברו מבחינת מחין דקטנות לבחינת מחין דגדלות, הינו להשתדל שיתגדל ויתרחב הדעת ביותר בכל פעם, שזה בחינת הרחבת גבול ארץ ישראל, בחינת: והרחבתי את גבולך, על כן כל אחד העוסק בזה לדבר עם חברו מהדעת הקדוש האמת, ובכל פעם צריך לזהר לעסק סיג לדבריו ולשתק במקום שצריכין לשתק, בכדי שלא להרס את הגבול של חברו לגמרי, שזה בחינת אסור הסגת הגבול, שלא די שאינו משתדל להרחיב גבולו של חברו, אף גם הוא מצר לו ביותר ונכנס בתוך גבולו, כי כל אחד מישראל יש לו גבול בפני עצמו בדעתו להשיג ולהבין עד הגבול דיקא בבחינת: ועלית אתה ואהרן וכו', ודרשו רבותינו זכרונם לברכה: אתה מחצה לעצמך ואהרן מחצה לעצמו וכו', ועל כן אף על פי שבודאי מצוה גדולה לדבר עם חברו בכל פעם ביראת שמים ולרחם עליו ולהוציאו מעוונות וקלקולים שלו, אוף על פי כן צריכין לזהר מאד, שיהיה העסק לטובה ולא לרעה, לתקן ולא לקלקל יותר, חס ושלום, שלא להסתכל ביותר בגנותו של חברו ובחסרונותיו, כי רב הקטטות והמריבות ושנאת חנם נמשך רק מזה, מה שכל אחד מסתכל שלא בעין יפה בחברו ומחפש למצא בו רק הפגמים ומדות רעות, עד שנדמה לו, שאי אפשר לסבלם, וממילא כמו כן מסתכל בו חברו גם כן להפך, כי כמים הפנים לפנים וכו', עד שנתעורר שנאת חנם וקטטות ביניהם, עד שעל ידי זה נחרב נחרב בית מקדשנו ונתארך עלינו הגלות, והכל רק על יד על ידי שנאת חנם, כמו שאמרו רבותינו זכרונם לברכה, שכל זה בא רק על ידי זה שמסתכל ביותר בחברו, כי באמת צריכין לדון את כל אדם לכף זכות, כי אף על פי שבודאי צריכין לדבר עמו ולהאיר דעתו ולהוציאו ממה שצריכין להוציאו, שכל זה הוא בחינת דין ומשפט, כמבאר בפנים, אבל צריכין שיתגבר הרחמנות לכנס עם חברו לפנים משורת הדין, לבלי להסתכל בו לרעה כי אם לטובה לטובה ולדונו לכף זכות תמיד, שיוכל לדבר עמו, וכמבאר במקום אחר, שזה בחינת מצות ועשית הישר והטוב, שמזה למדו רבותינו זכרונם לברכה לעשות לפנים משורת הדין, וגם למדו מזה דין בן המצר, שהוא בחינת המצוה להשתדל ולהרחיב את גבול חברו, ושניהם - אחד. (הלכות שותפין בקרקע, הלכה ה', אות יד טז):

3

The essential obligation to speak with one's fellow in fear of Heaven — and to illuminate within him the true divine knowledge — is only for the sake of broadening one's fellow's mind. For the essential [goal] is to bring out oneself and one's fellow from the aspect of moichin d'katnus [smallness of mind] to the aspect of moichin d'gadlus [greatness of mind]. That is, to strive that the mind should grow and expand more and more every single time. Which is the aspect of the broadening of the boundary of the Land of Israel — the aspect of: "And I will enlarge your boundary" [Exodus 34:24]. And therefore each person who engages in this — to speak with his fellow about the true holy knowledge — must every single time be careful to make a boundary [seyag] for his words and to be silent where one must be silent. So as not to demolish one's fellow's boundary entirely. For this is the aspect of the prohibition of encroachment [hasogos gevul]. For not only does he not strive to broaden his fellow's boundary — but he also oppresses him more and enters into his boundary. For every single person of Israel has a boundary for himself in his own mind — to attain and understand up to that very boundary — in the aspect of: "And you shall ascend — you and Aharon, etc." [Exodus 19:24] — and our Sages of blessed memory expounded: "you to your half and Aharon to his half, etc." And therefore even though certainly it is a great commandment to speak with one's fellow every single time in fear of Heaven — and to have compassion upon him and to bring him out from his sins and corruptions — even so, one must be very careful that the engagement be for the good and not for harm — to repair and not to cause more ruin, G-d forbid. Not to look too much at one's fellow's disgrace and his deficiencies. For most of the quarrels and disputes and causeless hatred derive only from this: that each person looks at his fellow not with a favorable eye — and seeks to find in him only the blemishes and evil character traits — until it seems to him that it is impossible to bear them. And naturally likewise his fellow also looks at him in the same reverse manner — for "as water reflects the face, etc." [Proverbs 27:19]. Until causeless hatred and quarrels are stirred between them. Until through this our Temple was destroyed — [was destroyed] — and the exile was prolonged over us. And all of it only on account of — [on account of] — causeless hatred. As our Sages of blessed memory said. And all of this comes only from looking too much at one's fellow. For in truth one must judge every person to the scale of merit. For even though certainly one must speak with him and illuminate his mind and bring him out from what he needs to be brought out from — and all of this is the aspect of judgment and law [din u'mishpot] — as explained in the inner teachings — even so, one must overpower oneself with compassion to enter with one's fellow beyond the letter of the law [lifnim mishuras hadin]. Not to look at him for bad — only for good — [for good] — and to judge him to the scale of merit always. So that one can speak with him. And as is explained elsewhere — that this is the aspect of the commandment: "And you shall do what is right and good" [Deuteronomy 6:18]. From which our Sages of blessed memory derived [the obligation] to go beyond the letter of the law. And they also derived from this the law of bar metzra [the neighbor's right of first refusal] — which is the aspect of the commandment to strive to broaden one's fellow's boundary. And both are one.

4

4

And therefore even though certainly it is a great commandment to speak with one's fellow every single time in fear of Heaven — and to have compassion upon him and to bring him out from his sins and corruptions — even so, one must be very careful that the engagement be for the good and not for harm — to repair and not to cause more ruin, G-d forbid. Not to look too much at one's fellow's disgrace and his deficiencies. For most of the quarrels and disputes and causeless hatred derive only from this: that each person looks at his fellow not with a favorable eye — and seeks to find in him only the blemishes and evil character traits — until it seems to him that it is impossible to bear them. And naturally likewise his fellow also looks at him in the same reverse manner — for "as water reflects the face, etc." [Proverbs 27:19]. Until causeless hatred and quarrels are stirred between them. Until through this our Temple was destroyed — [was destroyed] — and the exile was prolonged over us. And all of it only on account of — [on account of] — causeless hatred. As our Sages of blessed memory said. And all of this comes only from looking too much at one's fellow.

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