לא

Sunday, Adar Rishon [Adar Rishon — "the First Adar" — this year is a Jewish leap year with two months of Adar; Adar Rishon falls in late February or early March; Purim will be celebrated in Adar Sheni — the second Adar], 5638 [= late February or early March 1878 CE] — the Holy City of Teverya.

To the honor of our ohavainu, my strong friend, my truly and wholeheartedly beloved, truly my son — the honor of our teacher Reb Nussun, may his candle shine — together with peace upon his father, may his candle shine — and together with peace upon his son, the wise child, the honor of our teacher Reb Sender Chaim, may his candle shine.

Thanks to G-d for our lives — life and peace are with us. May I merit to hear from you life and peace and the fullness of good. It is a wonder to me that for three weeks I have had no letter at all from you — and my eyes are consumed [עיני כלות למכתבכם — "my eyes are consumed / spent waiting for your letter" — an echo of Psalms 119:82 and 123: "my eyes fail for Your word / my eyes look to You"; the image of eyes worn out from straining toward the horizon, watching for something that does not come; a vivid, anguished physical image of longing and waiting] waiting for your letter — for your lives are truly as my own life. And now I have come to recount my heart before you [לספר לבבי לפניך — "to tell / to recount my heart before you" — the verb lesaper means to tell, to narrate, to recount as one tells a story; the writer does not simply "pour out" feeling but recounts it, tells it; this verb connects directly to the closing teaching of this very letter: that King David told everything before G-d through the Psalms — sipur, narration, is the act; the writer is doing to the recipient exactly what he says David did before G-d] — that for these eleven months we have had no letter whatsoever from my son-in-law Yisroel, may his candle shine — together with peace upon my daughter and my grandchildren, may they live. And also from my wife's sons. And I have certainly written to them — without any exaggeration — eight letters. And also to your father-in-law, our ohavainu, I also wrote several letters — and requested of him to urge my sons with some letter — at least to give us life from their good health. And particularly for my wife, may she live, who weeps and wails almost day and night. And this morning there arrived a letter from Uman — sealed in the envelope — on a quarter of a sheet — within a large envelope. And on this quarter of a sheet there is a letter from Reb Nussun Lirsman [ר' נתן לירסמאן — Reb Nussun Lirsman; Lirsman or Lehrsman is the surname — likely from German/Yiddish Lehrer-Mann — "teacher-man"; a common construction in Eastern European Jewish surnames of this era] to me.

And I am writing to you a copy of what he wrote to the hand of his father-in-law Morainu v'Rabbainu Reb Nussun, may his candle shine, and to his mother-in-law Miriam Brina, may she live:

"I and my wife and the members of my household and my daughter, may she live, and my son-in-law Morainu v'Rabbainu Shmuel, may his candle shine, and my son Nachman and my son Dovid Yosef, may his candle shine, and my son Shimshon, may his candle shine, and your son Yitzchak, may his candle shine, and his wife — all of them are in life and in peace."

And he did not even sign himself — this is the entirety of his letter. And it dissolved the tension of my spirit within me [והפיג רוחי בקרבי — v'heivig ruchi b'kirbi — "and it dissipated / dissolved my spirit within me" — the word heivig means to make vanish, to dissolve, to disperse the tension or heaviness; here it means the suffocating weight of the spirit's anguish was momentarily dissolved by the letter's arrival; relief, not joy — a releasing of held breath]. Therefore, my friend, my truly beloved — perhaps there is with you some letter from your father-in-law, may his candle shine — perhaps he wrote to you on behalf of my son. I have great melancholy [מרה שחורה — marah shechorah — "black bile" — the medical-spiritual term for melancholy and depression; the writer diagnoses his own state with clinical precision] — for apparently this is not in his own handwriting. But no one else knows there the names of my grandchildren from my daughter Chaikeh, may she live — all of them in detail. Therefore my spirit rattles within me [מקשקש רוחי בקרבי — mekashkesh ruchi b'kirbi — "my spirit rattles / trembles within me" — keshkesh — to shake, to rattle; not a gentle flutter but a rattling, as of something loose and shaking inside; a different and more agitated sensation than the dissolving of relief above — three distinct physical images of the spirit in this passage]. Therefore, my friend, my truly beloved — perhaps there is something from my son — do not withhold it from me [לא תכזב ממני — "do not deceive me / do not withhold from me / do not let me down" — from the root meaning to fail, to prove false, to withhold what was hoped for; an urgent, pleading imperative: if you have any news at all, share it — do not leave me disappointed and let down] — for my heart melts within me [נמס לבי בקרבי — an echo of Psalms 22:15: "my heart is like wax, it melts within my innards"; the heart losing its solid form, becoming liquid with grief]. And also if you have any letter from your father-in-law, may his candle shine, on your letter that you wrote to him.

And also — three weeks ago I sent a letter to your son-in-law Morainu v'Rabbainu Tzvi — at the address of Reb Yekusiel Kaminska — if I did not err in the address. Therefore I wrote a letter to your father-in-law as well. And also on your behalf I wrote greetings of peace. And also I wrote a letter to my sons — how is it possible that my sons do not write to me for such a very long time — not a single letter? Therefore I asked of you: perhaps you have some news — write to me and give life to our souls. And also the following: that our friend Reb Aizikl wrote to me several times to write him some letter — to have some comfort [איזה ניחא — eizeh nicha — Aramaic: "some comfort / some ease" — the Aramaic word nicha means ease, rest, relief; a gentle code-switch into Aramaic for an emotional nuance] for his household — for he wanders and roams and is unable to come to his home. And I will G-d willing also write him some letter to give life to his soul — for to give life to the soul of a Jew is not a small matter, G-d forbid, but rather as if one has sustained an entire world [כאלו קים עולם מלא — an echo of the Talmudic teaching [Sanhedrin 37a]: "whoever sustains a single soul of Israel, Scripture accounts it as if he had sustained an entire world"; the writer applies this to the act of writing a letter of spiritual sustenance]. And I have greatly requested to hurry and reply to me on my letter — and to write to me whether Reb Dov, may his candle shine, comes to you, blessed be G-d. And also about my wife, may she live — what she did with her son, may his candle shine — and about the health of their bodies. And also — to write whether you have heeded my counsel to set fixed times for the books of Rabbainu ז"ל and his holy disciple with constancy. For now, in the midst of the swooping distress that hovers over us [בתוך מעוף מצוקתנו — "in the midst of the me'of of our distress" — me'of literally means "flight / flying" — from עוף, to fly; it appears in Isaiah 8:22 in a context of overwhelming darkness and anguish; the image is of distress that descends on one with the speed and force of a swooping bird — not merely "turmoil" but distress that swoops down and overwhelms; "our swooping distress" captures the active, attacking quality of the image] — which has intensified over us and over all Israel — there is no counsel to give life to our souls except the cold water upon a weary soul that flows from the Hinnuvme [הננמ"ח — the acronym for הנחל נבע מקור חכמה — "the stream that flows from the source of wisdom" — the title and description of Likutay Halachos by Reb Nosson of Breslov ז"ל; one of the most beautiful and precise names for this work in the entire collection]. And to cling to them through prayer and supplication. And beyond this there is no other counsel — for He is my stronghold and my refuge in the day of my distress. And everything that passes over you — train yourself to recount before Hashem Yisbarach everything that happens to you — for Rabbainu ז"ל and his holy disciple show us that King David our righteous Mashiach laid the foundation of the book of Psalms from this [יסד מזה ספר תהלים — "founded / laid the foundation of the book of Psalms from this" — the verb yasad means to found, to establish, to lay the foundation; the same root as yesod — foundation — one of the ten sefiros; King David did not merely write or collect the Psalms — he laid their foundation in the practice of telling-narration; the book of Psalms is built on the foundation of sipur — recounting before G-d; this connects directly to the opening of the letter where the writer himself uses lesaper — to recount — his heart before the recipient] — everything that passed over him he recounted before Hashem Yisbarach. And we are sick people of the kind described [חולים כאלו — "sick like those ones" — referring to a specific type of spiritually ill patient described in the teachings of Rabbainu ז"ל and Reb Nosson ז"ל: those whose illness is of the soul and requires medicine drawn from a very elevated, spiritual source; not sick people in general but the specific category requiring the elevated healing] — who must draw our healing from a very great and very high place — and learn from them straight paths on which to walk. Words of one who truly loves you, Nussun from Breslov