מה

Thursday, the Torah portion of Balak [the portion of Balak's attempts to curse Israel and Balaam's blessings; early July 1878], 5638 — here in Teverya.

To the honor of our beloved, my strong friend, the veteran Chassid, the wondrous one — Morainu v'Rabbainu Reb Nussun — together with peace upon the honor of your dear father Morainu v'Rabbainu Reb Tzvi.

Thanks to G-d for our lives — blessed be G-d — all of us are in the way of life and in peace. May I merit to hear from you life and peace in fullness — without any admixture of judgment at all [בלי שום תערובות דין כלל — "without any admixture of judgment at all" — a Kabbalistic concept: the divine attribute of strict judgment mixing into and contaminating the flow of blessing; the prayer is for pure, unalloyed blessing unmixed with any element of strictness] — and may the One Who said to His world "enough!" say to your troubles "enough! enough!" [the Shaddai teaching — doubled here: "enough! enough!" — a doubled urgency of petition]. Omain Netzach Selah Va'ed. So may it be His will.

Your letter from Wednesday of Chukas and from Sunday of this week I received today together — and from the content of the matters I had great grief. And from several matters I had nachas — from what you wrote to me that your son, may his candle shine, had blessed be G-d healing for the eyes — and from the matter that transpired with our friend Reb Dov, may his candle shine, and with all the Anash — and you spoke there holy words of Rabbainu ז"ל and his holy disciple — and surely this is the main comfort and our hope to eternity. And from our friend Reb Aitzikel, may his candle shine, who traveled to the place of the Holy of Holies — may Hashem Yisbarach guide him to his heart's destination in going and returning in good life and in peace — and may he accomplish in material and in spiritual as his soul desires.

And from what you wrote to me about your wife, may she live — that her expenses are very great, beyond your capacity to bear such expenses — I certainly have very great grief — for I know it is beyond your capacity. But what you wrote to me — that you are literally like one shredded and ravaged [כמו מטרף — k'miteref — "like one torn, shredded, ravaged" — the image of an animal torn by a predator; an extreme image fully acknowledging the severity of the husband's anguish before gently redirecting it] — what will the suffering and worry accomplish when they multiply? What can she do — she is already traveling and enduring illness and thinking: perhaps Hashem Yisbarach will have mercy on her and give her healing. For you know that the entire world is very much bewildered on the matter of doctors — and people lend themselves to doctors [אנשים לווין להדאקטורים — "people lend themselves to doctors" — a striking phrase; they give themselves over to doctors on loan, placing themselves in the doctors' hands as if lending their bodies temporarily; the language suggests both desperation and the sense that the arrangement is conditional and temporary] — and from Yerushalayim people come every week to Haifa to bathe in the Dead Sea — and they too have great expenses. For a human being cannot bear illness and thinks: perhaps from this or from that some healing will sprout for them. And particularly your wife — who is a woman in her youth and endures such an illness. And people of the world are found in great numbers who maintain that she will surely have healing. G-d willing, Hashem Yisbarach will help her in His abundant mercies — and have mercy on you as well — and send her swiftly and soon a complete healing.

And few are they [וזעירין אנון — ze'eerin inun — Aramaic: "few are they" — the standard Talmudic Aramaic formula; a code-switch into the Aramaic of the Talmud for this observation; the writer is noting that even within the Breslov community, only a small minority hold strictly to the position of not consulting doctors] among the Anash who are strong in the words of Rabbainu ז"ל on the matter of doctors — not to engage with them. Therefore your being shredded and ravaged accomplishes absolutely nothing — not at all — no [כלל כלל לא — three degrees of negation stacked upon each other: "at all, at all, no" — the triple negative is a rhetorical intensification; the frantic torn-apart state accomplishes nothing — this verdict is given in the most absolute possible terms]. Rather: one needs settled composure of mind [ישוב הדעת — yishuv ha'da'as — the foundational Breslov virtue of mental groundedness and composure; the capacity to act from stability rather than panic; the specific antidote offered to the torn-apart state] — and to pray to Hashem Yisbarach and recount before Him: Master of the World — You know that I do not have the capacity for these expenses — therefore have mercy on me and send a complete healing to my wife, may she live. And with the money I need to give to the doctor and the expenses — may it be for my livelihood, so that I can engage in Your Torah and Your service.

And from your letter I see only that you are in panic — for you wrote to me that you want me to write via the post a letter and you will pay me the postal money — and you did not write to me to where to write. And may Hashem Yisbarach have mercy on you and on your wife, may she live, and on your son, may his candle shine, and on your father, may his candle shine — and lighten from upon you all the harsh judgments — and through all kinds of sweetening — from the encompassing intellect and from particular intellects and from the encompassing redemption — may He cause to sprout upon you all kinds of salvation — and turn what is not in its proper order into what is in its proper order. And Hashem Yisbarach is all-capable.

And you know that she herself has great grief from the fact that she has such expenses — and the great longing she has for her son, may his candle shine. But she came there and people tell her that she will surely have healing — and she cannot govern her own soul [אינה יכולה לתת עצה בנפשה — "she cannot give counsel to her own soul" — the Talmudic expression for the capacity for self-determination and inner governance; once she is already in Yerushalayim with doctors telling her she will recover, her soul's own counsel — her inner capacity to direct herself differently — has been overwhelmed by circumstances and external voices] — and when she was at home, then you had time to settle your composure. But for this one must be strong in the words of Rabbainu ז"ל — and trust only in Hashem Yisbarach.

More news there is none — only life and peace. And may the Almighty G-d give you mercy — and I await your salvation at all times in fullness — in body and soul and money. Nussun from Breslov