Chapter Twenty-Five: Such Longing…

A Chassid came with great fervor to Rabbi Yisroel to tell him of the holy book that had ignited his heart for the service of Hashem — the book Hishtapchus HaNefesh [Outpouring of the Soul]…

Happy are we that we merited this — that our holy Rabbenu was revealed now in this darkness, that such a light was revealed as has never been. Such holiness, such truth — one does not see, one does not see. Now is the time of redemption. I see and feel that this present time is the right time. The light that will be — it will be such lights as cannot be estimated. We must yearn greatly and pray much before Hashem that we merit complete teshuvah. Only our holy Rabbenu repairs us and the whole world and gives us a new heart — every day a new heart.

I remember how Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner always spoke with Hashem as we speak to one another — sitting and speaking. This is how he sat with Rabbenu and asked of him to arrange for him something to do. And our holy Rabbenu illuminated him with every word — illuminated him for every place where he needed help, and he was made new. A complete wicked person who had been submerged in all the desires became such a tzadik, such a holy tzadik… One does not see such things.

I am not telling falsehoods and not exaggerating. I saw how Rabbi Yisroel spoke with Hashem in hot tears like fire! And the entire room, the entire place, was holy! Everything was wet from his tears — the ground and everything, yes. He spoke with Hashem in such tears — it is a miracle that he remained alive…

I saw this with my own eyes. And what I saw — it is nothing at all, not even as a drop from the sea. One does not see such a thing in the entire world. The entire world does not know that they need to speak with Hashem. The entire world — all the scholars, all the geniuses — do not know that they must speak with Hashem. They think: "What — do I need to speak with Hashem? What will come of this for me? Will I become a scholar from this?" They did not want it — they wanted to be a scholar famous in the world, with honor and money.

This is not for nothing — the people of our community, the people of Rabbenu, were holy people. Not for nothing. Our holy Rabbenu gave us every moment a new heart and such new holy words and new teshuvah. One does not see such a thing in the entire world. The whole world does not know — only to learn, to be a scholar and famous in the world. But to speak with Hashem?! Only Rabbenu makes this known to us. Our holy Rabbenu established for us to speak every day no less than an hour with Hashem. Nu — is this thing known in the world?!

I saw, I saw such truth, such mesiras nefesh… But this can only be received from Rabbenu. To speak with Hashem — only when one knows Rabbenu!

There is the Likutay Tfilos — all of Likutay Tfilos speaks with Hashem. Every Jew speaks with Hashem — prayer rises above everything. Likutay Tfilos renews us, repairs us, draws us close to the Torah and to Hashem truly. Such a thing has never been heard in the world — such a wonder. The whole world thinks: "One who speaks with Hashem is an ignoramus — he does not know how to study. He only knows how to speak with Hashem."

Ho — Likutay Tfilos… It is fitting that we be occupied with this much. One merits such lights as have not yet been revealed in the world! That we merit to recite much Likutay Tfilos and much Likutay Halachos — these are words of Mashiach. Our holy Rabbenu revealed a drop from the sea of what there is…

What is hisbodidus? Sicha — conversation before Hashem. One converse with, tells, speaks with Hashem what to do, what counsel. We learn from the Torah that sicha is the matter of Mashiach — Mashiach is from the language of sicha [conversation]. The matter of Mashiach is sicha — to speak and pray before Hashem with all one's heart and all one's soul. "And Yitzchak went out to converse in the field" [Bereishis 24:63] — he went, he had sicha, he spoke and conversed with Hashem about everything.

We see that Hashem gave him the name of Mashiach from the language of sicha — that he always spoke before Hashem. This is Mashiach — Mashiach is one who always speaks with Hashem…

Rav Noson explains and illuminates what Rabbenu says. He traveled from Breslov to Uman after the fire, and on that road Rabbenu revealed such words as it is impossible to reveal. To say "Master of the Universe…" — that contains all the wisdom, everything. To weep before Hashem always. The matter of sicha — this is Mashiach. He speaks and tells before Hashem everything that passes over him — that is sicha. Also the name "Nachman" is the matter of consolation and words — to speak with Hashem. Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman — he cast away all the wisdoms: only prayer!

The whole world — even the scholars and geniuses — are far from this. The whole world did not want to receive it: "What is this — prayer? What will come of it if one says 'Master of the Universe, Father, compassionate Father, have mercy on me…'?"

But a heart like Rabbenu's — there has never been in the world. He burns, as Rav Noson says: "In Breslov there burns a fire — give me that fire in my heart!"

Such a genius as Rabbenu has never been. As Rabbenu says: "A novelty like me has never yet been in the world!" What is the novelty? That he always converses with Hashem. Oy, oy — in Breslov there burns a fire. Give that fire into the heart within me…

I saw how Rabbi Yisroel wept with tears at Rabbi Shimon's holy tomb. He wept… I do not know if a person has so much water, so many tears: "Compassionate Father, compassionate Father, have mercy on me, have mercy on me. I want to sleep and eat — what will the purpose of this be? Have mercy on me that I may know how to eat, how to serve Hashem."

The tears of Rabbi Yisroel — that he wept on the tomb of Rabbi Shimon — were on the ground like pouring a pail of water, in winter, in the cold. It was full of water from the tears he wept before Hashem that He should have mercy on him. I have no words at all to speak of this — of how Rabbenu and his people wept that they should be given yiras shomayim. What did he ask? That he should be alone with Hashem — that he should speak and converse before Hashem. One must renew oneself every day and recite many prayers — then one will be the people of Rabbenu…

Oy — just to hear how Rabbi Yisroel would say "Master of the Universe" — that is enough for all one's life. Who can tell of such things — with such love, such courage, such holiness, such light… Just to hear one word, one single word of how Rabbi Yisroel said: "Master of the Universe, Father-dear, Father-dear…" He implored Him: "Father-dear… have mercy on me. I am so distant — I have distanced myself greatly. I am unable to pray. Father — have mercy on me…" What a hisbodidus, what a prayer — there is none in the world! Only our holy Rabbenu!

How he would go to the forest — no one knew — and he wept and cried out to Hashem: "Have mercy on me, Master of the Universe, Father-dear, Father-dear…" He said "Father-dear…" — it was fire!

Ay — Rabbi Yisroel, of blessed memory — he wept so much: "Master of the Universe, Father-dear, have mercy on me. I am so distant. I feel no taste from the Torah, from the prayer. I am very far — have mercy on me, have mercy on me, have mercy on me. Father-dear, Father-dear…"

Who can hear such words that burned like fire? And he was alone with Hashem and he wept before Him: "Master of the Universe — I cannot pray. I am not praying. I eat as I eat — what will the purpose be from me…" He wept before Hashem and before Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai — he wept and yearned so deeply. The entire table was wet from the tears. The floor too — the entire house became like pouring a pail of water from his tears. Yes — this is how the heart burned for Hashem. Whoever saw his face at the time he said "Master of the Universe, Father-dear, Father-dear…" — who can describe such dveykus, such sweetness? He was alone with Hashem and spoke with Him as with a compassionate Father. Who can describe, who can estimate such longing — such life…

Rav Mendl Litvak went to do hisbodidus. A great general came with his army and heard how Rav Mendl Litvak was saying: "Father-dear, Father-dear, Father-dear…" So the general stopped — and all the soldiers stopped — and he said to them: "Listen, listen to what this one is saying. Who has heard such a thing?!"

He stopped and could not go further. All the soldiers stood and heard the voices and the hisbodidus of Rav Mendl Litvak. So the great general said to the army: "If it were in my power — I would give him everything he wants. I would give him all the money, everything he asks — I would give him everything!" And he went…

Oy — what there is in the world. Just to hear the hisbodidus of Rabbi Yisroel, and of this one and that one — such hisbodidus… There is no such sweetness in the world, no such life — there is none in the world. Only our holy Rabbenu revealed a drop from the sea of what there is. Wonders…

Ahh! Rabbi Yisroel would recite Likutay Tfilos. Who can estimate what he felt with every single word of Likutay Tfilos? Tears flowed from his eyes like water. And he lived such a life — such a life, such a sweet life, a life of emunah and trust. He did hisbodidus every day in such voices, with such a heart… Who sees this! We do not know at all what happens in the world. Only our holy Rabbenu revealed a drop from the sea of what is in the world — such life-force, such Torah, such sweetness, such life. "You have been shown to know that Hashem is G-d — there is nothing else besides Him!" [Devarim 4:35] Novelties, novelties — new life.

Ay — what is this emunah that our holy Rabbenu reveals in the world — such yiras shomayim, such truth, such mesiras nefesh. One does not see and does not know at all of the light and goodness that we have. Our holy Rabbenu said: "If we had not heard and known that there is such a Master of the Universe in the world — oy… No one would want to earn money; they would want only to serve Hashem." People would give all the days of their lives — all the days of our lives — only to hear a single word that came from the mouth of Rabbi Yisroel. So and so shall it be.

Oy — just to see such prayer, such a voice, such longing — this is not from this world. This is Breslov…

Ahh — Rabbi Yisroel said "Sing to Hashem a new song" — a new song. Nu, nu…

Blessed be Hashem — all my joy: I am joyful that I merited to hear a single word of the hisbodidus of Rabbi Yisroel. A sea, a sea, a great sea — a single word "Master of the Universe" was a sea. It became a sea.

I had a great miracle. Had I not known Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner — I would have died long ago! I would not have known at all of such life that already exists: Likutay Moharan, Likutay Halachos, Likutay Aytzos…

Oy — I merited to know Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner. And I saw what a Jew is and what emunah is and what prayer is. I heard the voice that he would speak with Hashem. I merited to hear such a voice as the entire world knows nothing of at all. Such a voice — such sweet life… One does not know at all what is in the world. He argued with his mouth and with his hands and his feet: "Master of the Universe, Father, dear Father, compassionate Father — You are good. Have mercy on me. I am far from everything — I am unable to pray, I am unable to study. What will the purpose be from me…"

Hisbodidus of which the entire world knows nothing at all. The entire world knows nothing at all of the emunah and the life-force. They sleep, they eat and sleep. The world does not know — only to sleep and eat. But this will be revealed. Mashiach will come and everything will be revealed. Mashiach will come and repair the entire world — repair us and the entire world. There will be the world of repair. It will be very hard work for Mashiach — he must overturn the entire world from one extreme to the other. "Then I will transform for the peoples a clear language, that they all call in the name of Hashem, to serve Him with one shoulder." [Tzefaniah 3:9] Mashiach will come and the glory of Hashem will be revealed and the glory of His kingdom will be revealed. There will be joy throughout the entire world — such joy that all will dance. In every house, in all the streets — nothing will be heard but the sounds of joy and dancing.

Oy, oy — is there anything better than this? To say "Master of the Universe"?

Master of the Universe, Father-dear, Father-dear — have mercy on me. I am so distant. I have distanced myself greatly. I am unable to pray, unable to study. What will become of me? Have mercy on me, Father-dear, Father-dear…

But Rabbenu…

Rabbi Yisroel sang together with the friends in the sukkah in Tzfas, with the Four Species in his hand…

Rabbi Yisroel Kardoner went to Uman from his father's house. He went to Uman without money. And his father said to him: "Give back the shoes — give back the clothing. You are not my son. I do not want to know you. Leave here! You are Breslov!"

The father of Rabbi Yisroel was very wealthy — he was the great merchant of the city. Rabbi Yisroel had a large inheritance — but his father gave nothing to Rabbi Yisroel. He said to him: "You are not my son — you are Breslov. You will receive no inheritance at all!" So Rabbi Yisroel remained without an inheritance. He is not his son — he is Breslov…

I also — my father was blind and there was great poverty in the house. And both of them wept — father and mother: "Do not be in Breslov. Have mercy on yourself and on us — do not be in Breslov. Who will take you as a son-in-law? No — no woman from any person will take a Breslover. You will not marry — you will die a bachelor, without children, without a wife. What will become of you?! No — do not be in Breslov." And I said: "Only Breslov — I want only Breslov!" My mother passed away — she had a fainting spell. Hashem performed miracles that she returned to life.

"You will have no wife, no children, no money." And today — I have a wife, and I have children, and I have money…

Blessed be Hashem — today we have a room, we have a bed, we have a cabinet and we have everything. The Breslovers have today conquered the whole world. Mashiach has not yet come? He will come soon — the time of redemption is very close. What is "close?" Two hundred years is also close; one hundred years is also close. We have suffered five thousand years — so is one hundred years not counted? But blessed be Hashem — already it is known that Rabbenu is the redemption. Likutay Moharan is already the redemption. Likutay Tfilos is the redemption. Likutay Halachos is the redemption. Every word of Rabbenu is the light of the redemption.

Our holy Rabbenu is such a secret as has never existed since the day of creation — never. We received the Oral Torah and there were such tzadikim — but Rabbenu… Such a wonder has never been in the world!

Is there in the world anything like Likutay Moharan? Is there in the world anything like the Sipuray Maasiyos? Is "Shivas HaBetler" [The Seven Beggars] to be found anywhere else in the world? Do you see anywhere else in the world such stories?! The entire world says and knows that there are no stories like these in the world!

Our holy Rabbenu is such a secret as has never existed since the day of creation — never. We received the Oral Torah and there were such tzadikim — but Rabbenu… Such a wonder has never been in the world!

There was already Moshe Rabbenu and all the tzadikim: Avraham, Yitzchak, Ya'akov — but Rabbenu…

Rav Noson once sat in his sukkah. He was a genius — he knew the names of all the true holy tzadikim. And he began to think and said: "At first there was Avraham, Yitzchak, Ya'akov, Moshe Rabbenu…" He revealed about each one: "This one had such a novelty — he revealed such wonders. And this one had such a novelty — he revealed such wonders. But Rabbenu…" And so he thought about every tzadik and at the end said of them all: "But Rabbenu…"

"This one had such a wonder, such a novelty; this one had such a wonder, such a novelty — but Rabbenu… He is the 'Flowing Stream, Source of Wisdom' — now there is the 'Flowing Stream, Source of Wisdom'!"

Our holy Rabbenu surpassed all the great ones — above everything. And his truth — there is no truth like it, no wisdom like it! All his words, his every word is all the Torah! He will repair us and all the sinners and all the wicked — so he said; not we. He will repair, repair, and repair — anew. There are things that cannot be repaired — but he makes them new! He is completely new. Every moment he is new and makes us new! He said: "A novelty like me has never yet been in the world!" Nu — was he seeking honor and fame? However much he said, it still does not even reach some fraction of it…