Siman 91

(11.) Kislev 5570 [1809], here in Breslov. In a dream I was sitting in my house [that is, in the small house where he was residing], and no one at all was entering to me — and it was a wonder to my eyes. And I went out to the second room, and there too no one was there. And I went out to the large house and to the beis midrash [house of study], and there too there was no one. And I resolved in my mind to go outside. And I went outside and saw that people were standing in circles, whispering to one another — this one mocking me, this one laughing at me, this one acting brazen toward me, and the like. And even my own men were also against me — some acted brazenly toward me, some whispered secretly about me, and the like as stated. And I called one of my men and asked him: What is this? And he answered: How could you have done such a thing — is it conceivable that you would commit such a great sin? And I did not know at all what they were mocking me for. And I asked the aforementioned man to go and gather some of our men — and he went from me and I did not see him again. And I resolved in my mind what to do, and I resolved to sail to some other country. And I came there and there too it was the same — people standing there and discussing this as well, for they knew about it there too. And I resolved to sit in some forest, and five of my men gathered to me. And I went with them to the forest and we sat there, and when we needed any food or the like, we would send one of the aforementioned men and he would buy for us what we needed. And I would ask him: Has the tumult quieted? And he would answer: No — the tumult is still very strong. While we were sitting there, an old man came and called me — and said that he had something to speak with me about. And I walked with him and he began to speak with me. He answered and said: You have done such a thing — how are you not ashamed before your forefathers? And he began to rebuke me regarding this. And I answered him: If I am ashamed before my forefathers, all the more so before my Master, Hashem Yisburach. And this answer came from my heart. And I entered to a city and went to the rabbi of the city. And the rabbi was a very old man. And I asked him what this was about. And he showed me in a book. And I looked in the book and saw that it was indeed written there that this was a sin. And I said: But I did not know! And he answered: Nonetheless, it is a sin. And I thought to myself: Is it conceivable that I should fall because of this? And there I encountered several men, and among them was one who was very brazen, and who began to slap me. And I was greatly pained by this. And I began to weep bitterly, and said: Master of the Universe! And suddenly it seemed to me as if I received new power, and I answered back and pushed away those who were causing me trouble. And I went out and came to a city, and there I found one of our men. And he said: They are speaking here too. And I resolved to go further. And I came to a certain place, and it seemed to me that there the matter had quieted somewhat. And I resolved to build a kloyz [small synagogue/chapel] there and to settle there. And this city had some people of ours. And I began to build the kloyz. And when I began to build it, they immediately began to help me greatly — and the building was built very quickly. And there I found rest. And I thought to myself: If I had had a fault in one thing, I have merited to build this kloyz — and this is enough for my rectification. (This is a sealed and concealed vision. And now many years have passed since Rabbainu o.b.m. passed away, and we see with our eyes how the tumult and controversy against him continues in the world. And we hope to G-d that in the end the truth will be victorious and his greatness will be revealed in the world — amen, may it be G-d's will.)