Fires of Israel - Part 31

I remember, I was drawn close in a time that there was such a type of hunger, I was with R' Yisroel (Karduner o.b.m.). When R' Yisroel would go to Meron, I would go with him to Meron. Nu, I was there in Meron, and it was some few days which we didn't have what to eat, not a piece of bread. So I thought that we must go into Tsfas (-Safed) among people, among Jews, so that we can have something, a piece of bread, let it be something, something sparing, something, here there is (decisively) absolutely nothing!

Fine, so I said to R' Yisroel'n that we need to go into Tsfas, we cannot endure! I wanted that we should travel to Tsfas, I wanted a piece of bread. So he said to me, “Until three days, if absolutely nothing arrives he (Heb: we) will go,” Three days! Two days passed by. On the third day I already awaited that we would go to Tsfas, and there arrived three kilo of flour from R' Nussun Tirhavitzer (-a Breslover in Tsfas)….

- - It is not possible to tell over even one word, You don't know what this means! One must put the (-his) ears and the (-his) heart, “good good” (-very well) to every word, to be able to merit to what is necessary! - And similarly to the Legendary Tales, and similarly to Likutay Moharan, this is the fundamental – this shines into us the light of the Torah! Without this everything is sealed (/blocked/hidden)!

All our words are only for this, so that we learn out from them how we need to have the Rebbe'n. And this is here, here (Heb: all here)! Everything, everything, from the beginning to the end!

This that I merited to see with my own eyes, what I saw by R' Yisroel'n, from this I became aware of something that the world does not know! Such things that I saw with my own eyes – which were entirely something else! Out of mesiras nefesh (-self sacrifice), out of such sorts of lowliness and such sorts of degradation which are not in the world! And that is how I merited to be slightly aware to know from Rebbe'n, epes (-something).

I received from all of our men, from R' Shlomo (Wexler o.b.m.) - - I didn't sit (-live) in Jerusalem to be seen (-hangout) with them, I traveled! I made a trip with mesiras nefesh (-self sacrifice)! HY had mercy on me, that every time (that) I traveled, I received news, such precious - -

However the foundation was R' Yisroel, without R' Yisroel'n I would not have merited to this, everything was through R' Yisroel'n!

I was by R' Shlomo, and similarly by everyone, I traveled to receive from them. And HY had mercy on me, he administered such roundabouts that I merited to receive a lot from them. However, if I would not have known from R' Yisroel'n, there wouldn't have been anything at all, I would have had absolutely no affinity. He was the foundation, my heart, my heart!

And from this were made such things which are eternal, we have no conception. Now I see that the truth has such a type of power – I saw such a type of avoada (-devotion), such a type of truth, and I had meseeras nefesh (-self sacrifice), and I had battles with the whole world! And how I remained steadfast – all the hardships of the world transpired, besides for the opposition there were more hardships, there was hunger – it was engulfing from all sides! And in this way it was hidden - -

Nu, when it happens, one doesn't realize, however, now I see that from the onset when I drew close to Rebbe'n, how there were orchestrated factors, wonders, so that I will be entirely something else! (So) I should have such words which will illuminate the world! And this letter

(*”The Petek” - The story of this wondrous letter in short, as Saba told it over elsewhere; it was a few years after the passing of his mentor R' Yisroel Karduner o.b.m., on the fast day of the 17th of Tamuz in the year 5682 (-1922), after his devotions from midnight till the morning as was his way, he felt weak and sickly and decided that it was necessary for him to break the fast, immediately afterwards he realized that it had been unnecessary, and he was struck down with tremendous depression for having eaten, and he couldn't find anything to uplift himself (and this was on top of his regular regimen of dire hardships and opposition etc..) For several days he lay immobile on a bench in the synagogue of Rabbi Meir Bal Hanais, it was frightful even to see him. Finally Saba said to HY, it is true that I did something wrong, but I want to repent! What is this depression?! This can cause a desecration of Hashem, people will say that this is the end of all the Breslovers etc. etc.. As he lay there he had a strong notion in his head, almost as if there was a voice inside telling him to go to his room, to his locker, and open a holy book, and there he will find a cure. So he schlepped himself over, and opened up a volume of Likutay Halachos, there was a paper there which he didn't pay attention to, figuring that it was a bookmark, he read a little from the holy book and got a little encouragement, but it wasn't enough, and now he was filled with even more despair, before shutting the book he took a look at the paper, and as he read it he was filled with so much joy, as much as he had been depressed the more he was imbued with happiness and hope. This is what the note said:

“Very hard it was for me to descend to you\ my precious student to tell you that I enjoyed\ greatly your service and upon you I said\ my fire will burn until the\ Messiah will come be strong and courageous\ in your service\

Na NaCh NaChMu NaChMuN MeyUMaN\

and with this I shall reveal to you a secret and it is\ full and heaped up from end to end (PTzPTzYH)\ and with strengthening of service you will understand it and a sign\ the 17th of Tamuz they will say that you are not fasting.”

Saba proceeded to dance away most of the night, and was forever inspired and encouraged by the Petek to reach the highest devotion, loyalty, and nullification to HY. After sixty years, Saba understood that the time had come to fully exploit the power of the Petek to help bring the world to the Divine truth.)

- this is greater than everything! It is greater than everything!

This imbued me with such a type of joy, and such a type of daas (-realization of knowledge), there are no words that can be said to convey what this imbued me with! Nu, go scream, “I am Solomon”….. (*The Medrash in Ruth 5:6 recounts how a demon replaced Solomon on the throne, banishing him. Solomon went around telling people the reality that it was in fact he who is Solomon, but no one would believe him). If there is even one person who accepts this, it is yet something! - -

It is not so simple, it isn't something so simple, how can there be such a thing?! We see – a great soul, a Rosh Yeshiva (-dean of a yeshiva), a kabalist - - but here there is just something of an empty vessel… this is from the Rebbe'ns wonders, this is from Rebbe'ns wonders!

And this is what the holy Rebbe loved, just simplicity! To run away from the “chaizoo <appearance/facade of> hai <this> alma <world>,” from “Kuvoad <honor> hamidooma <imaginary, phoney, mock, feigned>,” not to hold of oneself - - I can not hold from myself… If one is a lamdan (-skilled scholar)- if he is humble this is a tremendous thing! But a nothing?!….

[The tomb of R' Yisroel Karduner]