אות-יז

Speak to G-d like an enamored toddler cajoles his father

It is very good for someone who is able, to pour out his words before Hashem Yisburach piteously and pleadingly, like a son who yearns before his father, for behold Hashem Yisburach already called us sons, as it is written (Deuteronomy 14:1), “You are sons to Hashem your G-d.” Therefore it is very good to express one's words and troubles before Him Blessed He like a son who complains before his father with cute and endearing motions which are called “piyestin”- (playing, cooing), and even if it seems to someone that in accordance to his conduct he is not like a son before Him Blessed He, even still, behold Hashem Yisburach called us sons, as mentioned above, because (Kedushin 36a), either way (-whether or not Israel act befittingly) they are called (by You) sons etc., (so) it is on me to do my part, to make myself as a son, as mentioned above. And how good it is when one can arouse his heart with entreaties until he cries and sheds tears like a son before his father. (Words of Rabbi Nachman 7).

And see the book “Ullim LiTrufa” (Leaves for Healing, letter 254), where it is written there: And I saw in Medrash Rabbu (Vayikra Rabbu 2-3), that it brings down (there) the verse (Jeremiah 31:19/20), “Is Ephraim a dear son to me? Is he a child of (my) delight? For whenever I speak of him (/for it is sufficient the words (of Torah) which I put in him, to effect), I surely remember him more.” And it says there: Which (age) is a delightful child? Around the age of two or three years old. And another said, around four or five years old. And the commentaries (see Eitz Yosef) there explain, that one said around the age of two or three year old, for even though such a young toddler cannot speak, only hintingly, or partial words, even still his father delights in him, with his speech, and fulfills his desire. And one said, around the age of four or five years old, for then his speech is complete, and he makes requests from his father with full verbalization: “Give me such a thing or such a thing.” And his father fulfills his request. And even though it is not explained so much over there, I explained the matter more, because I, in my poverty, took out from here a great deal of inspiration regarding what he o.b.m. admonished us, for one to express his words before Him Blessed He every day etc., because thank G-d, I understood from this Medrash powerful encouragement and arousal for this. Because it is understood and conveyed from this, that even when a person cannot speak at all before Him Blessed He, or to express his words well, even still it is precious in His eyes Blessed He, even if he speaks only hintingly and with partial words like a two or three year old baby, and sometimes Hashem Yisburach helps, and he speaks entire phrases like a toddler of four or five years old. And in this way Israel is precious in His eyes Blessed He, when they speak and converse their needs before Him Blessed He, and they are called a “child of delight”. And see there what is written (there) on the end of the verse, “for when I speak of him;” My Word (the Torah) that I put in him is sufficient etc.. It can be understood from there the utter preciousness of the spoken word, and it is impossible to explain so much in writing, and it is compulsory to be brief, however, you can understand for yourselves from this, hints to strengthen oneself, in the matter of speaking and conversing between oneself and his Creator, however possible. True, it is certainly better to speak explicitly with complete articulation, however, even when one cannot speak properly, it is precious in His Eyes Blessed He even the speech which is called “piyestin” (playing, cooing), like a delightful child of two or three years old. And understand this well to fulfill all this with simplicity, for it is your eternal life, for it is impossible to pass through this world peacefully, only through this which is written here, for our strength is only with our mouth etc. (Medrash Shocher Tov 22:20), see there.

And the essential thing is that he merit to know his power, as mentioned above. But since the sitra achra lies in ambush very much against a person, and the more a person transgresses the more the sitra achra suckles from him and swallows him — it therefore sometimes swallows him so completely that it reaches the very inner essence of his Jewish holiness, and it strengthens and prevails to swallow that point as well. But the moment it wants to swallow the inner essence of his holiness, that point stands in the sitra achra's throat — for this point of his inner holiness has very great power, and therefore the sitra achra cannot swallow it in any manner. And not only can it not swallow it — this very good point stands in the sitra achra's throat until it is forced to vomit and expel all the holinesses it swallowed from this soul. And from this comes the fact that sometimes a person is aroused to teshuvah after several transgressions — as mentioned above — for the inner point of holiness is truly a possessor of great power, and when it sees that the sitra achra wants to swallow it completely, it strengthens against it until it is forced to vomit. But certainly no person can rely on this — for one who says "I will sin and repent" will be given no opportunity to repent. For sometimes the sitra achra can prevail so much that it truly and completely swallows, as we see how many wicked people did not return in teshuvah even at the end, and were cut off and lost forever, G-d have mercy. Therefore one must certainly flee from transgression with utter flight. But after one has already transgressed whatever one has transgressed, G-d forbid, one must know and believe that there is no despair in the world at all. Even if he has already tried thousands of times to be upright and failed, and fell to whatever he fell — even to complete and serious transgressions, G-d forbid — even so there is still hope for him as long as his soul is within him.