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השתפכות הנפש - Hashtatfchus HaNefesh

1

עִקַּר הַתְּשׁוּבָה הוּא תְּפִלָּה כִּי תְּשׁוּבָה הוּא בִּבְחִינָה לְמַעְלָה מֵהַתּוֹרָה שֶׁשָּׁם נִתְהַפֵּךְ הַכּל לְטוֹבָה וּזְדוֹנוֹת נִתְהַפְּכִין לִזְכֻיּוֹת וְלָזֶה זוֹכִין עַל יְדֵי תְּפִלָּה, כִּי תְּפִלָּה הוּא גַּם כֵּן בְּחִינַת לְמַעְלָה מֵהַתּוֹרָה כַּמְבאָר בִּפְנִים וְכַנַּ"ל וְעַל כֵּן מִי שֶׁרוֹצֶה לָשׁוּב לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בֶּאֱמֶת עִקַּר הַתְּשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה הוּא עַל-יְדֵי תְּפִלָּה, דְּהַיְנוּ שֶׁיִּתְפַּלֵּל תָּמִיד לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ שֶׁיִּמְחַל וְיִסְלַח לוֹ עַל מַה שֶּׁפָּגַם וִירַחֵם עָלָיו מֵעַתָּה וְיַצִּילֵהוּ מֵעֲווֹנוֹת כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת כָּל אָדָם הוּא בְּסַכָּנָה גְּדוֹלָה וַעֲצוּמָה בְּזֶה הָעוֹלָם וּבִפְרָט הַבַּעַל תְּשׁוּבָה שֶׁכְּבָר נִכְשַׁל בַּמֶּה שֶׁנִּכְשַׁל וּבְכָל יוֹם יִצְרוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם מִתְגַּבֵּר עָלָיו וְכוּ' וְאֵיךְ יִזְכֶּה לָשׁוּב כִּי תֵּכֶף כְּשֶׁרוֹצֶה לְהִתְגַּבֵּר עַל מַה שֶּׁצָּרִיךְ לְהִתְגַּבֵּר מִתְגַּבְּרִין עָלָיו בְּיוֹתֵר, עַל כֵּן הָעִקָּר הוּא תְּפִלָּה וְהִתְבּוֹדְדוּת שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לְהַרְגִּיל אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְהִתְבּוֹדֵד בְּכָל יוֹם בֵּינוֹ לְבֵין קוֹנוֹ וּלְהַפִּיל תְּחִנָּתוֹ לִפְנֵי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ הַמָּלֵא רַחֲמִים בְּכָל עֵת שֶׁיְּזַכֵּהוּ לָשׁוּב בִּתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה בֶּאֱמֶת וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם רוֹאֶה שֶׁאֵינוֹ פּוֹעֵל עֲדַיִן בִּתְפִלָּתוֹ כִּי עֲדַיִן מִתְגַּבְּרִין עָלָיו בְּיוֹתֵר, אַף-עַל-פִּי-כֵן יַעֲשֶׂה אֶת שֶׁלּוֹ וְיִתְפַּלֵּל תָּמִיד לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ אוּלַי יָחוּס אוּלַי יְרַחֵם כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: "קַוֵּה אֶל ה'" וְכוּ' וְאָמְרוּ רַבּוֹתֵינוּ זִכְרוֹנָם לִבְרָכָה, וְאִם לא נִתְקַבְּלָה תְּפִלָּתְךָ חֲזר וְקַוֵּה וְכָל זְמַן שֶׁאֵין הָאָדָם חָזָק בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁתָּמִיד יְקַוֶּה לַה' וְיַעְתִּיר אֵלָיו אַף אִם יַעֲבר עָלָיו מָה עֲדַיִן אֵין תְּשׁוּבָתוֹ שְׁלֵמָה כִּי מִי יוֹדֵעַ מַה יֵּלֵד יוֹם, אוּלַי יָבוֹא עָלָיו נִסָּיוֹן אוֹ מִכְשׁוֹל וְכוּ' וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ אִם יַעֲמד בְּקִשְׁרֵי הַמִּלְחָמָה אֲבָל אִם הָאָדָם חָזָק בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ אִם חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, לא יַעֲמד בַּנִּסָּיוֹן וַאֲפִלּוּ אִם יִהְיֶה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֵיךְ שֶׁיִּהְיֶה אַף- עַל-פִּי-כֵן יְקַוֶּה תָּמִיד לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בִּבְחִינַת: "וְאַצִּיעָה שְּׁאוֹל הִנֶּךָּ" אָז הוּא בָּטוּחַ בְּוַדַּאי שֶׁבְּוַדַּאי יִזְכֶּה לִתְשׁוּבָה שְׁלֵמָה כִּי סוֹף כָּל סוֹף יָשׁוּב לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ מֵאַחַר שֶׁחָזָק בְּדַעְתּוֹ שֶׁלּא יִפּל מִשּׁוּם דָּבָר שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם (שָׁם, הִלְכוֹת אוֹנָאָה, הֲלָכָה ג) : .

1

One who is resolute in prayer and repentance will ultimately succeed because they are highest The main repentance is prayer, for repentance is an aspect higher than the Torah (see Words of Rabbi Nachman article 3, reference 6), for there, everything is turned around to the good, and intentional transgressions are inverted to merits, and one merits to this through prayer, for it is also an aspect higher than the Torah, as is explained inside and mentioned above (see Words of Rabbi Nachman, article 75, and reference 3 there). And therefore whoever wants to truly return to Hashem Yisburach, the essential consummate repentance is by means of prayer, that is, that he should constantly pray to Hashem Yisburach that He should pardon and forgive him for what he defected, and He should have compassion on him from now on and He should save him from sin. For in actuality every person is in great dire danger in this world, and especially the baal-teshuva (-one who returned in repentance), who already blundered in what he blundered, and every day a person's (evil) inclination overbears upon him etc. (Kedushin 30b), and how will he merit to return (-repent), for immediately when he wants to overcome what he needs to overcome, they overbear upon exceedingly? Therefore the main thing is prayer and hisbodidus, that one needs to accustom himself to do hisbodidus everyday between himself and his Maker, and to cast his plea before Hashem Yisburach, Who is full of mercy at all times, that He should merit him to return in true complete repentance. And even if he sees that he still does not accomplish with his prayer, for they still overbear upon him exceedingly, even still he should do his part and he should pray constantly to Hashem Yisburach, perhaps He will have mercy, perhaps He will have compassion, as it is written (Psalms 27:14): “Hope to Hashem etc.,” and our Rabbis o.b.m. exposited (Brachos 32b): and if your prayer wasn't received, return and hope. And as long as a person isn't firm in his mind that he will always hope to Hashem, and implore Him, no matter what transpires over him, his repentance is still incomplete, for who knows what the day will bring, perhaps he will be confronted with a test or a pitfall etc., and who knows if he will hold up in the intensity of the battle. However, if the person is resolute that even if Heaven forbid he does not withstand the test, and even if it will be Heaven forbid what will be, even still he will always hope to Hashem Yisburach in the aspect of (Psalms 139:8), “and (if) I lie in scheol (-hell) behold You are here,” then he is certainly assured, that he will certainly merit to repent completely, for at the very end he will return to Hashem Yisburach, since he is strong in his mind that he will not fall from anything in the world. (Likutay Halachos, Laws of Overpricing, law 1).

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