Likutay Moharan II, Torah 48: When a Person Enters the Service of Hashem

Likutay Moharan II, Torah 48: When a Person Enters the Service of Hashem When a person enters the service of Hashem, then the way is that they show him hisrachkus [distance], and it seems to him that they distance him from above and do not allow him at all to enter the service of Hashem. And in truth, all the hisrachkus is only entirely hiskarvus [closeness]. And great strengthening is needed very, very much not to fall in his mind, heaven forbid, when he sees that many days and years pass that he toils with great efforts for the service of Hashem, and he is still very far, and he has not begun at all to enter the gates of holiness. For he sees himself that he is still full of coarseness and physicality and thoughts and great confusions. And whatever he wants to do in the service of Hashem, any holy matter, they do not allow him, and it seems to him as if Hashem, blessed be He, does not look at him at all and does not want his service at all, because he sees that he cries out each time and beseeches and prostrates himself before Him, blessed be He, that He help him in his service, and even so, he is still very, very far. Therefore, it seems to him as if Hashem, blessed be He, does not look at him at all and does not turn to him at all, for He, blessed be He, does not want him at all. Regarding all these and the like, great strengthening is needed to strengthen himself very, very much and not to look at all this at all. For in truth, all the hisrachkus is only entirely hiskarvus , as mentioned above. And all the above passed over all the tzadikim [righteous ones], as we heard explicitly from their mouths that it seemed to them that Hashem, blessed be He, does not look and turn to them at all because they saw that for a long time they were requesting and toiling and doing and serving the service of Hashem, blessed be He, and they were still very, very far. And if they had not strengthened themselves greatly not to look at this, they would have remained in their original place and would not have merited what they merited. And the principle is, my beloved brother, be very strong and courageous and hold yourself with all your strengths to remain steadfast in your service, and do not worry and do not look at all at all the above or the like. And if you are very, very far from Him, blessed be He, and it seems to you that you transgress every hour actually against Him, blessed be He, even so, against this, know that such a person who is so coarse, every single movement that he detaches himself little by little from his physicality and turns to Hashem, blessed be He, is very, very great and precious. And even a very small point that he is removed from his physicality to Him, blessed be He, he runs with this thousands of parsaot in the upper worlds, as you will understand well from the story of the tzadik who was greatly overcome by atzvus [sadness], and so forth, as brought by us [in the Talks at the end of the book Sippurei Ma’asiyos ]. And regarding this, he should rejoice greatly and strengthen himself in simchah [joy] always, for atzvus harms very, very much. And know that as soon as a person wants to enter the service of Hashem, blessed be He, then immediately it is a great sin when he has atzvus , heaven forbid, for atzvus is the sitra achara [other side] (Zohar, Noach 71), and Hashem, blessed be He, hates it. And one must be very stubborn in the service of Hashem not to abandon his place, that is, the little bit of his service that he began, even if something passes over him. And remember this matter well, for you will need it greatly when you begin a bit in the service of Hashem.

For great stubbornness is needed very, very much to be strong and courageous to hold oneself to stand in one’s place, even if they cause him to fall, heaven forbid, each time. For sometimes there is one whom they cause to fall from the service of Hashem, as is known. Even so, he must do what is his, to do what he can in the service of Hashem, and not abandon himself to fall completely, heaven forbid. For all these falls and descents and confusions and the like are necessarily needed to pass through before entering the gates of holiness. And also the true tzadikim passed through all this. And know that there is one who is already at the opening of holiness and returns backward because of the confusions mentioned above, or that then, when he is close to the opening, then the sitra achara and the baal davar [evil inclination] overcome him greatly, very, very much, heaven save us, with great and very awesome strength, heaven save us. And they do not allow him to enter the opening, and because of this, he returns backward, heaven forbid. For such is the way of the baal davar and the sitra achara, when they see that the person is very, very close to the gates of holiness and almost enters, then they spread over him with great, very, very great strength, heaven save us. And we heard from a true tzadik who said that if someone, whoever it may be, had told him at the time when he was engaged in the service of Hashem at its beginning: My brother, be strong and hold yourself, I would have run and hastened greatly in the service of Hashem, blessed be He. For also over him passed all the above, and he did not hear any strengthening from any person. Therefore, one who wants to enter the service of Hashem should remember this well and strengthen himself greatly and do what he can in the service of Hashem. And with many days and years, he will enter securely with His help, blessed be He, into the gates of holiness. For Hashem, blessed be He, is full of mercy and wants your service greatly. And know that all the movements and removals that you are removed and detached each time a little from physicality to the service of Hashem, blessed be He, all of them are gathered and connected and bound and come to your aid at the time of need, that is, when there is, heaven forbid, some pressure and time of trouble, heaven forbid. And know that a person must pass over a very, very narrow bridge, and the principle and essence is not to be afraid at all.

And know that there is a tree on which leaves grow, each leaf needing to grow for a hundred years, and it is found in the orchards of the nobles, and they call it in their language “hundred years.” And presumably, when it grows for a hundred years, certainly something passes over it, and afterward, at the end of the hundred years, it shoots with a great sound like burning reeds, which they call ormatye [cannon]. And understand the lesson well.

And it is fitting to go with what is said in the teaching Azamra l’Elokai b’odi [Likutay Moharan I, Torah 282], that is, to seek and search to find in oneself some merit and some good point. And with this little good that he finds in himself, he should rejoice and strengthen himself and not abandon his place, even if he fell to what he fell, heaven save us. Even so, he should strengthen himself with the little bit of good he still finds in himself until he merits to return through this to Hashem, blessed be He. And all the intentional sins will become merits (see Yoma 86). And what did the Baal Shem Tov, may the memory of the righteous be a blessing, do on the sea when the baal davar enticed him, and so forth. And from this, you will understand how far you must strengthen and not despair yourself, heaven forbid, even if it be what it be. And the main thing is to be in simchah always and to gladden himself with whatever he can, even through milay dish’tusa [foolish words], to make himself like a fool and to do matters of foolishness and jest or jumps and dances to come to simchah , which is a very great matter.