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משיבת נפש - Meshivas Nefesh
לִפְעָמִים יֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁכְּבָר הוּא אֵצֶל הַפֶּתַח שֶׁל הַקְּדֻשָּׁה וְהוּא חוֹזֵר לַאֲחוֹרָיו, מֵחֲמַת שֶׁמִּתְגַּבֵּר אָז עָלָיו הַסִּטְרָא אַחֲרָא, וְהַבַּעַל דָּבָר בְּהִתְגַּבְּרוּת גָּדוֹל מְאד רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן, וְאֵין מַנִּיחִין אוֹתוֹ לִכְנס לְתוֹךְ הַפֶּתַח, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה הוּא נוֹפֵל בְּדַעְתּוֹ וְחוֹזֵר לְאָחוֹר לְגַמְרֵי חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, כִּי כֵן דֶּרֶךְ הַבַּעַל דָּבָר וְהַסִּטְרָא אַחֲרָא כְּשֶׁרוֹאִין, שֶׁהָאָדָם סָמוּךְ מַמָּשׁ לְשַׁעֲרֵי הַקְּדֻשָּׁה וְכִמְעַט שֶׁיִּכְנס, אֲזַי הֵם מִתְפַּשְּׁטִים עָלָיו בְּהִתְגַּבְּרוּת גָּדוֹל מְאד רַחֲמָנָא לִצְלָן, עַל כֵּן צְרִיכִין אָז הִתְחַזְּקוּת גָּדוֹל נֶגְדָּם לַעֲמד עַל עָמְדוֹ וְלִבְלִי לְהַנִּיחַ אֶת מְקוֹמוֹ וְלִבְלִי לְהַשְׁגִּיחַ עַל הַנְּפִילוֹת וְהַיְרִידוֹת וְהַבִּלְבּוּלִים שֶׁעוֹבְרִין עָלָיו, רַק לְהִתְחַזֵּק מְאד לְהִתְגַּבֵּר עֲלֵיהֶם וְלַעֲשׂוֹת מַה שֶּׁיּוּכַל בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם. וּבִרְבוֹת הַיָּמִים וְהַשָּׁנִים יִכְנס לָבֶטַח בְּעֶזְרָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ לְתוֹךְ שַׁעֲרֵי הַקְּדֻשָּׁה, כִּי הַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ מָלֵא רַחֲמִים וְרוֹצֶה בַּעֲבוֹדָתֵנוּ מְאד. וְדַע, שֶׁכָּל הַתְּנוּעוֹת וְהַהַעְתָּקוֹת שֶׁהָאָדָם נִתָּק וְנֶעְתָּק בְּכָל פַּעַם אֵיזֶה מְעַט מִן גַּשְׁמִיּוּתוֹ לַעֲבוֹדָתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ כֻּלָּם מִתְקַבְּצִים וּמִתְחַבְּרִים וְנִתְקַשְּׁרִין וּבָאִים לְעֶזְרָתוֹ בְּעֵת הַצּרֶךְ, דְּהַיְנוּ כְּשֶׁיֵּשׁ חַס וְשָׁלוֹם, אֵיזֶה דּחַק וְעֵת צָרָה חַס וְשָׁלוֹם. וְדַע, שֶׁיֵּשׁ אִילָן שֶׁגְּדֵלִים עָלָיו עָלִים שֶׁכָּל עָלֶה צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת גָּדֵל מֵאָה שָׁנִים וּמִסְתָמָא בְּאֵלּוּ הַמֵּאָה שָׁנִים בְּוַדַּאי עוֹבֵר עָלָיו מַה שֶּׁעוֹבֵר, וְאַחַר כָּךְ בְּסוֹף הַמֵּאָה שָׁנִים הוּא יוֹרֶה בְּקוֹל גָּדוֹל כְּמוֹ קְנֵה שְׂרֵפָה שֶׁקּוֹרִין אוּרְמַטְיֶע, וְהַנִּמְשָׁל מוּבָן מִמֵּילָא ( "לִקּוּטֵי מוֹהֲרַ"ן" חֵלֶק ב סִימָן מ"ח)
Every person must know: whenever some hispatzkus elokus [divine spark] flashes within him, or he is aroused by some new awakening toward Hashem, may He be blessed — at that moment he is provoked more and more, and he must be very strong so as not to fall from this. He must not weaken in his resolve because of it, even if this should happen thousands upon thousands of times, G-d forbid. Rather, he must strengthen himself greatly through the Torah — that is, he should strengthen himself to draw forth genuine Torah novellae [chidushay Torah]. And even one who does not merit this should at least strengthen himself to engage in Torah with a new awakening, and to fulfil all the words of the Torah in simplicity and wholesomeness, and not depart from the ways of the Torah, G-d forbid. For even though, by the light of his heart's burning ardor, he longs to be holy and set apart and completely detached from the vanities of this world — commensurate with the radiance of this divine sparkling — and indeed that is how it ought to be: nonetheless, if his inclination still overpowers him and provokes him yet more intensely at this very moment, he must not fall completely because of this, G-d forbid. Rather, let him strengthen himself at least not to depart from the ways of the Torah in simplicity, and fulfil the verse: "Do not be overly righteous, and do not be overly wicked" [Ecclesiastes 7:16–17] — so that he not be greatly wicked, G-d forbid, because he wanted to be greatly righteous and it did not work out for him. And then when he walks this path and is strong in it greatly, he will go safely on his way and will be able at any time to arouse himself toward Hashem, may He be blessed, and to close his eyes at all times from beholding this world, and to annul himself before Him, may He be blessed. And if he merits to truly annul himself now and truly exit from the perception of this world entirely as befits it — then truly how good. And if not, G-d forbid — at any rate let him not fall from this at all, but only strengthen himself to be a proper man in complete simplicity, according to the ways of the holy Torah, for the Torah shatters and annuls all the sitra achra that wishes to provoke us, G-d forbid. (ibid., Ois 16) Companions who are close to the true Tzadikim and who hold on to them — it is fitting that they strengthen one another and arouse one another. And the essence of the strengthening is through the greatness of the power of the true Tzadik, which is so great that he can raise even the most blemished soul that has not yet moved from the profane to the holy even by a hair's breadth — even him the Tzadik can raise and renew for the good with the greatness of his power. And this is the essential strengthening of each person — for even the worst of the worst, whoever he may be, even if right now whatever passes over him passes over him: as long as he holds on to the true Tzadik, he has wonderful and good hope forever. Also, each person must strengthen his fellow and arouse one another and strengthen one another in the service of Hashem, and each person should remind his fellow of all the good advice that they know and understand — each one according to what he received from his teacher. (ibid., Ois 13) It has already been explained above, regarding the thousands upon thousands of ascents and descents without measure that a person must pass through before meriting complete service of Hashem — and that even the greatest Tzadikim passed through all of this. The essential thing is to be very strong in one's resolve to hold on to the service of Hashem forever, not to look at anything in the world, not to abandon His service, may He be blessed, forever. And even if all the descents in the world pass over him, G-d forbid — nonetheless let him strengthen himself in the service of Hashem with all he can. The essential thing is not to despair, G-d forbid, but to begin anew each time as though he had not yet begun at all to enter into His service, may He be blessed — rather, now he begins afresh. And so every single time, always. And sometimes one must begin anew several times in a single day. (ibid.)
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