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משיבת נפש - Meshivas Nefesh

1

הַתּוֹרָה וְהַמִּצְווֹת הֵם רְחָבִים מְאד בְּלִי קֵץ וְתַכְלִית (כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: "לְכָל תִּכְלָה רָאִיתִי קֵץ רְחָבָה מִצְוָתְךָ מְאד") וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר לְהַשִּׂיגָם, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה עִקַּר הַהִתְגַּבְּרוּת וְהַהִתְחַזְּקוּת עַל יְדֵי שֶׁיּוֹדְעִים שֶׁאֵין יוֹדְעִים כְּלָל. כִּי עִקַּר הַהִתְחַזְּקוּת עַל יְדֵי שֶׁמַּאֲמִינִים בְּהַדַּעַת הַקְּדוֹשָׁה שֶׁמֵּאִיר לָנוּ הַצַּדִּיק הָאֱמֶת שֶׁמְּלא כָל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ וְכוּ, אֲבָל תֵּכֶף כְּשֶׁבָּאִין עָלָיו קֻשְׁיוֹת, וַאֲפִלּוּ כְּשֶׁקָּשֶׁה לוֹ עַל עַצְמוֹ עַל שֶׁאַף עַל פִּי כֵן הוּא פָּגוּם וּמְגֻשָּׁם כָּל כָּךְ וְרָחוֹק כָּל כָּךְ מִקְּדֻשַּׁת הַתּוֹרָה, אֲזַי תֵּכֶף צָרִיךְ לִבְרחַ מִכָּל אֵלּוּ הַקֻּשְׁיוֹת, כִּי אִם יִרְצֶה לְתָרֵץ הַקֻּשְׁיוֹת אֲזַי יִכָּנֵס בְּקֻשְׁיוֹת וּנְפִילוֹת עֲמֻקּוֹת עוֹד יוֹתֵר. עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ לִשְׁתּק בְּמַחֲשַׁבְתּוֹ וּלְקַיֵּם סְיָג לַחָכְמָה שְׁתִיקָה, רַק לְהִתְגַּבֵּר בְּכָל עז לַחֲטף אֵיזֶה נְקֻדּוֹת טוֹבוֹת כָּל מַה שֶּׁיּוּכַל תּוֹרָה וּמִצְווֹת וּבִפְרָט תְּפִלָּה וְתַחֲנוּנִים וְשִׂיחָה לִפְנֵי קוֹנוֹ וְלִבְלִי לְהִסְתַּכֵּל עַל כָּל מַה שֶּׁעוֹבֵר עָלָיו. כִּי צְרִיכִין לִהְיוֹת עַקְשָׁן גָּדוֹל בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם, כִּי בֶּאֱמֶת אֵין יוֹדְעִין כְּלָל רַק לְקַיֵּם כְּמוֹ שֶׁצִּוָּנוּ רַבֵּנוּ, זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה, לִבְלִי לְיָאֵשׁ אֶת עַצְמוֹ בְּשׁוּם אפֶן כִּי אֵין שׁוּם יֵאוּשׁ בָּעוֹלָם כְּלָל. רַק לִכְסֹף וּלְהִשְׁתּוֹקֵק וּלְצַפּוֹת בְּכָל עֵת לִישׁוּעַת הַשֵּׁם, כִּי לִגְדֻלָּתוֹ יִתְבָּרַךְ אֵין חֵקֶר כַּמְבאָר מִזֶּה עוֹד הַרְבֵּה בִּמְקוֹמוֹת אֲחֵרִים (שָׁם אוֹת ס)

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The essential thing is faith [emunah], which is the aspect of Shabbos. For as long as one has faith, he will certainly return to Hashem in truth. Therefore a person must strengthen himself through this very fact — that the Ba'al Davar and the sitra achra want to bring him down, G-d forbid. Through this very fact he should strengthen himself. For the Ba'al Davar schemes against his soul to bring him down at all times, by implanting in his heart that he has sinned and blemished so greatly that it is no longer possible for him to return and repair such transgressions and blemishes — particularly given that there are people who have truly corrupted very greatly, as they know about themselves that they have transgressed many great and weighty transgressions for many days and years. And some have already begun several times in teshuvah and the service of Hashem and afterward fell as they fell — each one according to his fall. And therefore the Ba'al Davar implants in their hearts each time that their hope is already gone because of the extent of these blemishes. But in truth through this very thing a person can revive and strengthen himself — for since he still knows and believes that a transgression is a great blemish through which one blemishes all the upper worlds: if so, he still has faith! And since he still has faith, he certainly has hope without doubt. For since he believes that one can corrupt — certainly one can repair also. For it is known that heretics and philosophers do not believe at all that one corrupts the upper worlds through transgression — from which they derive their empty and false reasons for Torah mitzvos and transgressions. But we, the holy nation, who believe that a transgression G-d forbid is a very great blemish in the upper worlds, etc.: because of this the Ba'al Davar wants to bring him down. But he, on the contrary, through this very fact should revive himself — since he still has faith! For as long as a person has some point of holy faith he still has hope — for certainly there are such remedies that even he can return to Hashem in ease through some satisfaction that he provides Hashem in his place — through which he will merit to return to Him in truth through the power of the true Tzadikim, until he can merit teshuvah so complete that all the sins are transformed to merits, as our Sages of blessed memory said. And all of this through: "all Your commandments are faith" [Psalms 119:86]. (Halachos of Techumin, Halacha 5) Even the simple people [prostokim], and even the wicked, and even the nations of the world — though separate from Israel — all receive vitality from the Torah. Therefore even one who is a simple man — such as one who cannot study or who is in a place where he cannot study — even so he too receives vitality from the Torah. Therefore even then he must hold himself to fear of Heaven in whatever way he can, even during the hours he is idle from Torah. And even one who cannot study receives vitality from the hidden Torah through the great Tzadik who conducts himself with simplicity at times. (ibid., Ois 78)

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