"This Letter Is All Tears and Blood" — The Desperate Cry from Uman

My dear brother — I am greatly astonished at you — that you cause me such great pain — in that you write me no letter at all. Throughout all this time I received from you only one letter — from the week of Parashas Beshalach. And I have already sent you a long letter in Parashas Beshalach — to R' Noton's address. And in it was a letter to my wife, may she live. And similarly I sent you another letter after Purim — at your own address. And in it was a reply to your letter. And also the entire first section of Kochvei Or — Anshei Mohara"n — and also a little of my own practice. And similarly another letter to R' Noton's address — with the second section of Kochvei Or — Emes V'Emunah — and a few awakening letters that I had sent. And in Chol HaMoed Pesach I sent you a letter to your address — containing Part Four: Sason V'Simcha — and the completion of Hiskarvus Mohara"n from Anshei Mohara"n. And now — I am already sending you the fifth letter to R' Noton's address — with 8 pages of copied manuscript conversations and precious stories — still not printed. And the section of Hiskarvus Mohara"n at length. For the sake of Heaven, for the sake of Heaven, for the sake of Heaven — please take immediately all the writings from all the letters — and store them in my package — and guard them in the very best safekeeping. And do not lend them to any person. And write to me immediately a reply — what you have received.

[Yiddish:] "And now, my dear warm-hearted righteous brother — Oh (Gott!) — have compassion! Have compassion regardless! And have compassion regardless and regardless! Save me regardless, without any excuse in the world — none whatsoever. You must know: truly, purely, clearly — if you want to still have the merit of seeing me alive in this world — do not be silent even one moment. For know — the strength to endure has truly, truly given out. And this is not a child's game — but truly: I am afraid I may depart from the world before my time — here in the diaspora. And then nothing will help anymore. Therefore — seize it while I still live! For afterward — you will be among those who cry out and are not answered." Remember: I am telling you this beforehand — remember well! Do not think I am merely frightening you. Only the One G‑d knows the truth — that this is without exaggeration, not even a thousandth part. For I cannot write to you — from anguish of soul. And this letter is entirely tears and blood from the depths of the blood of the marrow. Not so quickly can I write such a letter again. After this letter — I must lie down from weakness — for I am putting my strength and the blood of my marrow into this letter. Because I no longer have the strength to hold on. No! No! No! Remember well — do not take this lightly — that this letter should sit well in your thinking. Do not put it aside — for if you put it aside, you are putting aside my life, G‑d forbid. For may I only hold on — even if you already do something, and G‑d, blessed be He, already helps — even more so: if G‑d forbid you are lax — and this should take time — G‑d forbid — it should be in your eyes as though you are watching me lying dead, G‑d forbid.

Therefore I ask you — again and again and again — that this should not be light in your eyes. For know: I am still barely breathing. Seize it — seize it — seize it — while I am still on my feet. I can no longer hold on at all. Not even one day — one day is like ten years in my eyes — for I can no longer be here. No, no, no — I must come home as quickly as possible. I cannot write — for my heart is filled to overflowing. And all my heart is buried in this letter. Therefore, my dear warm-hearted brothers — you are my vitality. Save me! Save me! Save me! Oh, oh, oh — save me! I do not want to know at all how. I do not want to know at all. Once and for all — do what you can — without any excuse in the world whatsoever. Oh (Gott!) — have compassion! Have compassion! Have compassion! Save me truly — without deceiving yourselves at all — seriously, truly! My vitality goes out — homeward. May I only hold on! I cannot speak at all — only one word: Hoshia! Hoshia! [Hebrew: "Save!" — the desperate biblical cry] And truly — in the innermost depths of my heart — my soul cries out greatly. And my voice goes from one end of the world to the other — as at the moment of separation of the soul from the body. And beyond this — I have done what is incumbent upon me. G‑d forbid — whatever happens — I have done my part. Beyond this — what is decreed for you in Heaven to merit. I announced to you beforehand:

Immediately act in the matter of the formal request: My name: Shmuel Gorvitz son of Yeshayahu. My age: 41 years. Born in Jerusalem. We were Russian subjects. And at the time of the war — when they expelled the Russians — they expelled me too. I have no particular occupation — only I am capable of several occupations. I observe religion.

I ask you greatly: immediately do whatever you can — without any delay whatsoever. And write to me how long it will take until it is concluded well — and all the details: everything you wrote in the formal request — and who is the sender of the request — every detail. Please do this in this matter and reply immediately with a good clear reply. Strengthen yourselves and be strong — and Hashem will be with you. And know: there is absolutely no other path for me except for you to send me the formal request. Therefore — please: rush to my aid — to save me from my distress. Please — have compassion, pity, and mercy on me — with all your strength and all your being — with true self-sacrifice — to save me from the torrent of many mighty waters. And now, my dear R' Yaakov — how have you forgotten me? Is it possible? Is it possible? Is it possible — such a thing? Please — write to me of your welfare in full detail. And of the welfare of R' Yisrael Dov, may he live. And of all the fellowship. And of my son Nachman, may he live. And what is the situation with my father-in-law and my wife — whether they want peace. And in what manner. And whether you transmitted the letter to them that I sent you — and what they replied. And what your view is and the view of the fellowship in this matter. And ask me forgiveness for why I did not write until now — for I have absolutely no idea what world I am in — since I left you. One word: I cannot hold on any longer. And after this letter I am compelled to lie down from the weakness I put into it. And I ask you: please reply immediately — whether you are doing this — and how much time it will take.

And know: you will certainly not regret this — G‑d forbid — not in this world and not in the World to Come. From me — your friend truly: Shmuel son of Feiga. The letter I wrote to R' Alter — please read it as well — for it is also for you.