Letter 55 נ"ה

To the honored self of my dear brother, my soul's companion — the delight of my heart — and all my vitality — our Master R' Yaakov Zev, Brzhesky, may he live.

My dear brother — what is this — that you have not replied to any of the letters I sent you? Five letters — by registered mail — to your address and to R' Noton's address. And in them were all the writings of Kochvei Or: Anshei Mohara"n, Sason V'Simcha, Emes V'Emunah, and further writings from Rabbainu, of blessed memory. And I received no reply at all about them. What is this — and why? I cannot describe the depth of the suffering and pain I have from this — and the consuming of my eyes — every day, every hour, every moment. I cannot understand you — what this is with you. And I do not know what to think. And all the fellowship do not understand this — that you do not reply to the letters. [Yiddish:] "My dear brother — save me! Do not be silent! Oh (Gott!) — have compassion! Save me! If you want us to still see each other in this world — while we are still among the living — have compassion and commit yourself to demand me to you — without any excuse in the world! For my whole life depends on this! I can no longer hold on at all. Do not be the cause, G‑d forbid, of premature death — for my whole life depends on this. Do not be silent, do not be still! Rise up now, stand up now, please — be gracious — for this soul — please be gracious. Oh (Gott!)! Oh (Gott!)! Oh (Gott!)! Do not be silent. Oh (Gott!) — save me — while I am still alive! G‑d, blessed be He, knows the truth — that all my heart is buried in this letter. It is holy blood with tears. I am not writing even a drop from the sea — for I cannot write at all. But I tear out these few words by force — with 'Oh Gott!' — even though I cannot. Once and for all — I do not want to know anything! Take counsel — what to do — for this is a matter of life. Oh (Gott!)! Oh (Gott!)! Oh (Gott!)! Have compassion — truly — what great compassion is upon me. Have compassion regardless. I need great compassion — that I not die, G‑d forbid — for it is impossible for me to hold on here even one moment. Once and for all — seize it as quickly as possible. Do not be silent. Save my body and soul and spirit and neshamah."

"True, faithful, loving friends — how can you listen and be silent and not respond at all? Oh — have compassion! If you want me still to be alive in this world — my heart is filled to overflowing and shattered. I cannot write at all — only one word: Save! Save! Save! Have compassion! Have compassion! Tear open the seal of my heart and see how my heart weeps and bleeds within me. What shall I say to you — one word: save me. I have no idea at all. I am truly dazed and scattered from the time I left you. One word: I can no longer hold on at all. Oh — my dear warm-hearted precious brothers: R' Shlomo Veksler, R' Noton, R' Dovid Khalodenko, R' Yechiel, R' Gedaliah, R' Meir, R' Yaakov Zev, R.A.B.Tz. — why are you silent? Have compassion, beloved truly faithful friends — oh (Gott!) — save me! Oh — do what you can — for I no longer have strength to hold on — truly: it is a matter of life. If you knew and felt — you would not be silent for one moment. You would give over your souls. What shall I say, what shall I speak? What shall I say and what shall I speak?"

May G‑d, blessed be He, have compassion on me — and put it in your minds not to sleep — and only do with all your ability and all your strength — without any excuse in the world whatsoever. What you can do — for the strength to endure has given out. Oh — I cannot speak at all — only: if you want me to be alive — have compassion. Oh — please, please! Arouse yourselves! Please — have mercy, compassion, pity! Please — be gracious for this soul — please be gracious — for a wretched soul as mine — a miserable one as mine, etc. The One Creator of the world alone knows the truth of my heart. Oh — how I hold on one day. Oh — "better a dry crust and peace with it" [Proverbs 17:1]. Oh, oh, oh, oh — have compassion regardless, truly — without deceiving your hearts. Have compassion regardless. You will not regret this — not in this world and not in the World to Come. And beyond this — I have done what is incumbent upon me. I have done my part. And beyond this — whether you wish to fulfill: "Do not stand upon the blood of your neighbor." [Leviticus 19:16] I have removed my responsibility — for what more can I do? Shumu shamayim al zos! [Jeremiah 2:12 — "Be astonished, O heavens, at this!" — one of the most dramatic biblical exclamations of disbelief at an impossible situation] Send a formal request — as I wrote in my previous letters.

My name: Shmuel Gorvitz, age 41, born in Palestine. Left at the start of the war, etc. Write me a reply in full on everything. And how long will it take — write everything at length. My dear brother Yaakov, may he live — how have you forgotten me? Is it conceivable? Is it conceivable? Is it conceivable — such a thing? Please write to me of your welfare in full detail. And of the welfare of R' Yisrael Dov and of all the fellowship. And of the welfare of my son — and what is the situation with my father-in-law and my wife. And please write to me a joyful letter — about everything happening in Eretz Yisrael — and the complete story of the pogrom — and how many Jews were killed and who of those I know. And what is happening in Meron. And how Lag BaOmer was. And whether the prayers were with devotion. And whether there was awakening and joy. Write everything at length — to give life to my soul. Please write to me always — for this is all my vitality: to hear of your welfare. Please send me my father's address — and take it from my family. And if letters come from my father, etc., and from my family — please forward them to me. From me — your true friend: Shmuel son of Feiga. The letter I wrote to R' Alter — please read as well — for it is also for you.