The Path to Jerusalem — Yeshivah Stipend and His Father's Support

I ask of your honor to speak regarding yeshivah money [a regular stipend from a Jerusalem yeshivah institution] — as he promised me while he was still here [i.e., when R' Alter was in Tzfas or Meron with him], and as I wrote to him in the first letter [a reference back to Letter 1, where this request was first raised] — and to present me favorably before R' Zerach Epstein [ר' זרח אפשטיין — the contact at the Jerusalem yeshivah institution], and to speak with him regarding the yeshivah, and perhaps they will give me money and a stipend from my father [meaning: in addition to yeshivah money, perhaps his father in America will also send funds] so that I can be there.

[Yiddish:] "For here I am going to ruin." [Hebrew parenthetical:] (Because here I am going to ruin.) And let your honor write to me in detail whether he has spoken with him and what he replied — all in detail. And let your honor write to me the situation there — in spiritual and material matters — and whether there are apartments available. And tell R' Zerach that I am the friend and companion of the young man Shlomo [R' Shlomo Atik — who is apparently already known to R' Zerach Epstein and can serve as a reference], and that G‑d willing, when I come I will learn with him together all day. And for the sake of Heaven — please reply to me immediately with a clear and correct answer.

And please — in particular — pray on my behalf on the 11th of Cheshvan [י"א חשון] — the yahrzeit of our mother Rachel [יאצ"ט של אמנו רחל — the anniversary of the passing of Rachel our Matriarch, buried in Beis Lechem. The 11th of Cheshvan is the traditional date of her yahrzeit; it is a day of prayer and intercession, particularly at her tomb. R' Shmuel asks that prayers be offered for him at her grave.] — to pray there on my behalf.

Behold — dear souls — know that on the contrary: Hashem loves the distant ones who draw close to Him — as brought in the Kitzur Likutay Moharan[ליקו"מ = לקוטי מוהר"ן — "Likutay Moharan." The standard abbreviated form used here.] on the Torah [yud — §10] — see there.

And the person — when he is far — and pulls himself toward Hashem — every single pulling — however small — away from the Sitra Achra[ס"א = סטרא אחרא — Aramaic: "the other side." The standard abbreviation for the demonic/impure forces.] — through closing the eyes from evil — and fleeing from evil thoughts and sinful musings — with sit-and-do-not-act[שב וא"ת = שב ואל תעשה — "sit and do not act." The halachic principle of passive restraint — applied here to evil thoughts: don't act on them, simply redirect the mind.] — to think other things — in order to drive away the evil thoughts. And in particular: when the person's first actions pass through his mind — and he breaks his lust — not to muse or think about this. And he fulfills: "And Joseph fled and left his garment" [Genesis 39:12 — Potiphar's wife grabbed Joseph's garment and he fled, leaving the garment behind. Applied here to the person's mind: the "garment" (beged) is the thought — the external wrapping of the mind. When an evil thought grabs hold, one must flee and leave the "garment" — the thought — behind, just as Joseph left his physical garment.] — [this is the thought that is the garment of the mind] — "in her hand and fled and went outside" — and he did not want to enter into plaintiff-and-defendant with the evil inclination. So too must every person. As brought in the holy Zohar on the verse "to do his work" — what is the "work" of the person in this world? To fight with the evil inclination. [Zohar I:190b — on Genesis 39:11 "to do his work" — the Zohar teaches that Joseph's "work" alluded to his soul-work: to combat the evil inclination. And "the work" of every Jewish person in this world is this combat.]

On the contrary — this is the teshuvah hamishkal literally — through this: that the thoughts come upon him — and he flees from them — through this he extracts all the holy sparks that he brought into the Sitra Achra — and this is truly the rectification of the covenant.

And the essential: the person needs to greatly strengthen himself — even though in truth the person must feel his lowliness and his distance and his deeds — in order not to become arrogant, G-d forbid — and to be ashamed of his deeds — for through this all his sins are atoned — as our master the Rebbe זצ"ל brings in Torah 6 in Likutay Moharan — in the Torah "Call out to Joshua" — the essential of teshuvah: when one hears his humiliation — [the truth is that his intention is for all the humiliations that people humiliate him — but one who is humiliated by no person — the essential simple meaning of "his humiliation" is: the humiliation within himself — that he feels within himself the shame that he is so far from Hashem — (and he feels the shame more than those whom others humiliate) — and in particular when he sees and it seems to him that his companions merit more than he does and so on] — "let him be still and silent" — receive it with love — and let it be an atonement for the sins.

And on the contrary — through this he can merit to the Crown. And this is "a fence for wisdom is silence" [Pirkei Avos 3:13 — "A fence for wisdom is silence." Rabbi Akiva. Applied here: the silence born of shame and the feeling of smallness is a higher level than the wisdom itself — it is the fence and protection surrounding wisdom, standing above it.] — for the silence from the shame and the feeling of smallness — is higher than the wisdom — which is the divine service — when one does not feel the smallness. And this is the aspect of "humility more than all" — for the humility and the smallness that the person feels within himself — however he is — is higher and better than a person who has not sinned and serves Hashem and feels within himself greatness and the pride of Hashem — may G-d protect us. And therefore certainly it is a good attribute — that the sins are atoned — and when one feels one's smallness and one's distance. But not to fall, G-d forbid. And on the contrary: to know with complete certainty that Hashem is with him — and that he is close to Hashem — and he can still merit the highest ultimate level.

And if he will truly regret the past — and guard himself for the future — and request from Hashem for the future — then he should believe in Hashem that Hashem will certainly bring him close. But he needs great waiting and strengthening — not to fall from the argument of the evil inclination — seeing that what still passes over him passes over him. He must fulfill what our Sages of blessed memory bring there in that Torah: to be expert in the descent and expert in the ascent — to be strong — to hold always to Hashem — even if what passes over him passes — and even "and if I make my bed in Sheol" — literally in the depths of Sheol — let him not retreat from Hashem, G-d forbid. And let him do what he can still do — and then "the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah." Your friend who wishes you all good forever. Shmuel HaLevi Horovitz 📜 Translator's Summary — Letter 42 [Added by the translator] This forty-second letter — written Wednesday, 27 Sivan 5723 — addressed to Avraham Mordechai Falbrbaum and his friend Yitzchak Moshe Ansbacher — contains a tightly packed teaching on teshuvah, the role of the Tzaddik, Joseph's flight, teshuvah hamishkal, and the paradox of feeling lowliness while not falling.

The Tzaddik as essential (§1): The Ba'al Shem Tov: the penitent's essential rectification is only through the Tzaddik. R' Shimon bar Yochai: if you must hang — hang from a great tree (Sanhedrin 9b).

Joseph's flight = teshuvah hamishkal (§3): Hashem loves the distant who draw close (Kitzur LM §10). Fleeing evil thoughts with sit-and-do-not-act. The "garment" Joseph left behind = the thought/intention the person flees from. Zohar: "to do his work" = to fight the evil inclination. Teshuvah hamishkal: when thoughts come and one flees — this extracts the holy sparks from the Sitra Achra = true tikkun habrit.

Lowliness and silence (§4): LM Torah 6: the essential of teshuvah = hear one's humiliation = feel one's own smallness and distance — this atones sins. "A fence for wisdom is silence" (Avos 3:13): the silence of shame is higher than wisdom. "Humility more than all" (Anava yoser kulam): the person who has sinned and feels lowliness is higher than the person who has not sinned but feels pride. But do not fall — know Hashem is close. Expert in descent and ascent — the right hand of Hashem extended.

Key terms: Ba'al Shem Tov — teshuvah through the Tzaddik · Im basa lihanak — tele b'ilan gadol — hang from a great tree; Sanhedrin 9b · Kitzur LM §10 — Hashem loves the distant who draw close · Vayanos Yosef vaya'azov bigdo — teshuvah hamishkal — Joseph's flight; extracting sparks from the Sitra Achra · Zohar — la'asos melachto — "to do his work" = fight the evil inclination · LM Torah 6 — bizu'on = bizu'ono b'atzmo — humiliation within oneself = feeling one's distance from G-d · Seyag l'chochma shtikah — Avos 3:13 — silence from shame higher than wisdom · Anava yoser kulam — humility more than all; the sinner who feels lowliness higher than the proud righteous

Volume One • Letter 42

📜 Translator's Summary — Letter 42 [Added by the translator]

"After greeting you with great love — I write to you: I have held your letter — and I am praying for you all the time. May Hashem accept our prayers favorably. Amen. So may it be His will."

"And I received your letter [R' ... may his light shine] from Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul with the check of 5 dollars for a pidyon. Although it is very hard for me to write — and time does not take me into account — for I am busy with my sessions — and composing and arranging books — both from the holy Rebbe and in general on the lineages of families of Tzaddikim and Geonim."

"In any case[עכ"פ = על כל פנים — "at least / in any case."] — it is impossible to be dismissed without anything — something to write of Jewish matters. The weekly Torah portion: 'When you go out to war' — meaning: the war against the evil inclination — which is the hardest war — as brought in Proverbs: 'one who rules his spirit — has captured a city' — that to conquer oneself is greater than conquering the greatest city. When anger comes to a person toward someone — and he holds back the anger — and does not act cruelly — neither in deed nor in speech — and he is silent because of teshuvah and atonement for sins — this is called: killing the evil inclination — as the Rebbe brings in the Torah 'Call out to Joshua' — for the essential of teshuvah is to hear one's humiliation — to be still and silent. And also: even when no one humiliates — only the shame from being far from Hashem — and receiving this with love — that it should be an atonement for sins — this is the essential teshuvah."

"For if things would always go smoothly in Judaism — one could make a mistake and think that one has already reached a level — and receive pride — which is worse than everything — as the Rebbe brings in Torah 107 in Likutay Moharan: 'Ki Seitzei lamilvama al oyvecha' — 'when you go out to war against your enemy' — which is the evil inclination — 'and Hashem your G-d will give him into your hand' — that the evil inclination will entice you in your thought — that you are already a Tzaddik — in the aspect of 'a righteous man rules in the fear of the One' — and 'Hashem your G-d is in your hand' — that is: everything you want — you already accomplish — and this is truly not good — for there is nothing worse than arrogance." [תורה ק"ז בלקוטי מוהר"ן — "Torah 107 in Likutay Moharan." LM Part 1, §107 — a teaching on the verse from Parshas Ki Seitzei: "When you go out to war against your enemy — and Hashem your G-d will give him into your hand." The Rebbe teaches: the "enemy" is the evil inclination[ק"ז = קז — the number 107. The section of LM Part 1, §107 — on the verse from Ki Seitzei and the trap of arrogance as the evil inclination's last weapon.] — and "Hashem your G-d will give him into your hand" means: when the evil inclination can no longer prevail against you through sin, it will seduce you into thinking you are already a Tzaddik — a subtle and even more dangerous trap.]

"For when the evil inclination has no more counsel with the person — it throws him into arrogance. And what is the remedy? — 'And you shall take captive his captives' — with what he wants to catch you — catch him instead. On the contrary: if it is already so — that I have arrogance — then Hashem is completely far from me. For as the person appears: the essential is when he knows his state and is lowly in his own eyes — then Hashem is with him. But however great he is — if he knows he is great — then Hashem is far from him. Therefore[א"כ = אם כן — "and therefore / if so." The logical conclusion.]: if I hold myself as great — then Hashem is completely far from me."

"And this counsel the Rebbe gives to the greatest Tzaddikim — who are already completely pure — and their greatness is truly great. All the more so simple people like us — we must look around at what happens with us — so that we should not make the mistake — only we must give ourselves life with the mercies of Hashem — which are very great — 'and I [dwell] with the crushed one' — and the merit of the true Tzaddikim who lower themselves for the honor of Hashem — to all the lowly ones — to give them life and to save them — and to heal them from all their wounds — and to delight them with all the delicacies of the world — all for the honor of Hashem — for such is the will of Hashem from the greatness of His mercies."

"And this is indeed the Torah 'Ki Seitzei' in Likutay Moharan Part 2 §82 [לק"מ ח"ב פ"ב — "Likutay Moharan Part 2, §82." ח"ב = Part 2 (Tannina); פ"ב = peh(80) + beis(2) = 82. LM Tannina, §82 — the teaching that things go "out of order" (shelo k'seder) for a person when he has arrogance — but when he nullifies himself completely before Hashem — then things proceed "in order" (k'seder) — kindness and mercy — the divine Name of Havayah in its proper sequence.] — that things go out of order for the person when he has arrogance — but when he nullifies himself completely before Hashem — that he is nothing — only everything is from Hashem — then things go for him in order — kindness and mercy — the divine Name Havayah in order. And this is the path of the month of Elul: 'I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me' — both in this Torah — and in Torah 6 'Call out to Joshua' — where 'If I ascend to the heavens — You are there' — means: when things go well with the person in Judaism — and he thinks he has already ascended to the heavens — he should know that he is still very far — for His greatness has no limit. And conversely: 'And if I make my bed in Sheol — You are there' — if he thinks he is already completely in Sheol — he should know that Hashem is there with him — for there is no despair at all in the world — and everything is only from the mercies of Hashem — and His wonders and His greatnesses (that is: His kindnesses and mercies) have no limit."

"And the strengthening must be taken: to always seek Hashem — and to seek the lost objects — to long toward Hashem — that He should help to rectify what he corrupted — and that he should be close to Hashem — and not despair from seeking — through Torah and prayer and verbal confession and good deeds[מעש"ט = מעשים טובים — "good deeds."] — all this is called seeking — and hisbodidus — and whatever he does should be for the sake of the unification of the Holy One and His Shechinah[קוב"ה = קודשא בריך הוא — Aramaic: "the Holy One blessed be He." The standard Zoharic/Talmudic designation for G-d.] — to rectify and unify what he blemished — and not to despair — even if one seeks and finds nothing at all, G-d forbid — on the contrary: one loses even much more — he should know with certainty that he will find — and in the end everything will be turned to good. So may it be His will. Amen."

"Elul is days of teshuvah from love — kindness — will and mercy — and preparation for Rosh Hashana — which is the head of the year. And everything must be with joy from love. And Erev Rosh Hashana: a pidyon — for our Chassidim — and recite the Tikkun HaKelali in connection to the Rebbe — as if one is by the Rebbe at the gravesite. And so: the verbal confession — and Prayer 4 in Likutay Tefillot. And Rosh Hashana: think good thoughts that Hashem will do good for us — and weeping from within joy — and connect oneself to all the gatherings of our Chassidim — 'in the midst of my people I dwell' — and eat rich foods and so on — 'for the joy of Hashem is your strength.' And the Ten Days of Repentance: one can rectify each day all the days of all the years — Shabbos: all the Shabbosses — Sunday: all the Sundays — and all the days of the week — and everything must be with joy and strengthening. And Yom Kippur: to confess — to draw out the arrows from the soul from the sins — these are the ten times 'al chet.' [יו"כ מתוודה זיין ארוס נעמין די פיילען פון דער נשמה פון די זינד דאס איז די 10 מאל 'על חטא' — "Yom Kippur: to confess — to draw out the arrows from the soul from the sins — these are the ten times 'al chet.'" A striking Breslov image: the sins embedded in the soul are like arrows. The ten confessional passages of "Al Chet" — each beginning "For the sin that we have sinned before You..." — are the ten acts of drawing those arrows out. Each confession extracts one arrow from the wound. The full ten repetitions of Al Chet throughout Yom Kippur = ten extractions = the complete purification.] And Sukkos with a beautiful esrog — also Simchas Torah — all is teshuvah in joy — for the essential is joy with weeping: joy over the salvations — and weeping over what is still lacking — and the joy should be more than the weeping — for 'in joy you shall go out' — and the essential is that one holds firm."

[After inquiring after your precious wellbeing with great love — I am writing to you that I received your precious letter long ago — and I am praying for you all the time. May Hashem accept our prayers favorably. Amen. So may it be His will. And I received your letter from Erev Rosh Chodesh Elul with the check of 5 dollars for a pidyon — even though it is very hard for me to write — and time does not take me into account — for I am busy with my sessions — and composing and arranging books — both from the holy Rebbe and in general on the lineages of families of Tzaddikim and Geonim.]

[In any case[עכ"פ = על כל פנים — "at least / in any case."] — it is impossible to be dismissed without anything — something to write of Jewish matters. The weekly Torah portion: "When you go out to war" — meaning: the war against the evil inclination — which is the hardest war — as brought in Proverbs: "one who rules his spirit — has captured a city" — to conquer oneself is greater than conquering the greatest city. When anger comes to a person toward another — and he restrains the anger — and does not act cruelly — neither in deed nor in speech — and he is silent because of teshuvah and atonement for sins — this is called: killing the evil inclination — as the Rebbe brings in the Torah "Call out to Joshua" — for the essential of teshuvah is to hear one's humiliation — to be still and silent. And even when no one humiliates — only the shame from what one is far from Hashem — and to receive this with love — that it should be an atonement for sins — this is the essential teshuvah. For if things would always go smoothly in Judaism — one could mistakenly think that one has already reached a level — and receive arrogance — which is worse than everything — as our master brings in Torah 107 in Likutay Moharan: "Ki seitzei lamilvama al oyvecha" — the evil inclination — "and Hashem your G-d will give him into your hand" — the evil inclination will entice you in your thought that you are already a Tzaddik — in the aspect of "a righteous one rules in the fear of G-d — and Hashem your G-d is in your hand" — that is: everything you want you already accomplish — and this is truly not good — for there is nothing worse than arrogance. For when the evil inclination has no more counsel with the person — he throws him into arrogance. And the remedy: "and you shall take captive his captives" — with what he wants to catch you — catch him. On the contrary: if it is already so that I have arrogance — then Hashem is completely far from me. For as the person appears — the essential is when he knows his state and is lowly in himself — then Hashem is with him — but however great he is — if he knows he is great — then Hashem is far from him. Therefore: if I hold myself as great — then Hashem is completely far from me. And this counsel the Rebbe gives to the greatest Tzaddikim who are already completely pure and whose greatness is truly great — all the more so: simple people like us must look around at what happens with us — so that we should not mistake — only we must give ourselves life with the mercies of Hashem — which are very great — "and I dwell with the crushed one" — and the merit of the true Tzaddikim — who lower themselves for the honor of Hashem to all the lowly — to give them life and save them and heal them from all their wounds and delight them with all the world's delicacies — all for the honor of Hashem — for such is the will of Hashem from the greatness of His mercies.]

[And this is indeed the Torah "Ki Seitzei" in Likutay Moharan Part 2[ח"ב פ"ב = חלק ב' פרק פ"ב — "Part 2, §82." ח"ב = Part 2 (Tannina). פ"ב = peh(80) + beis(2) = 82. LM Tannina §82 — on the divine Name Havayah proceeding in order when one has humility.] §82 — that things go out of order for the person when he has arrogance — but when he nullifies himself completely before Hashem — that he is nothing — only everything is from Hashem — then things go for him in order — kindness and mercy — the divine Name Havayah in order. And this is the path of the month of Elul: "I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me" — both in this Torah and in Torah 6 "Call out to Joshua" — where "If I ascend to the heavens — You are there": when things go well in Judaism — and he thinks he has ascended to the heavens — he should know he is still very far — for His greatness has no limit. And conversely: "And if I make my bed in Sheol — You are there": if he thinks he is completely in Sheol — he should know Hashem is there — for there is no despair in the world — and everything is from the mercies of Hashem — whose wonders and greatnesses (that is: kindnesses and mercies) have no limit. And the strengthening must be: to always seek Hashem — and seek the lost objects — to long toward Hashem — that He should help to rectify what was corrupted — and to be close to Hashem — and not despair from seeking — through Torah and prayer and verbal confession and good deeds[מעש"ט = מעשים טובים — "good deeds."] — all this is called seeking — and hisbodidus — and whatever one does should be for the sake of the unification of the Holy One and His Shechinah[קוב"ה = קודשא בריך הוא — Aramaic: "the Holy One blessed be He." The standard Zoharic/Talmudic designation for G-d.] — to rectify and unify what was blemished — and not to despair — even if one seeks and finds nothing at all, G-d forbid — on the contrary: one loses even more — he should know with certainty that he will find — and in the end everything will turn to good. So may it be His will. Amen.]

[Elul is days of teshuvah from love — kindness — will and mercy — and preparation for Rosh Hashana — which is the head of the year — and everything must be with joy from love. And Erev Rosh Hashana: a pidyon for our Chassidim — and recite the Tikkun HaKelali in connection to the Rebbe — as if one is by the Rebbe at the gravesite — and so the verbal confession — and Prayer 4 in Likutay Tefillot. And Rosh Hashana: think good thoughts that Hashem will do good for us — and weeping from within joy — and connect oneself to all the gatherings of our Chassidim — "in the midst of my people I dwell" — and eat rich foods and so on — "for the joy of Hashem is your strength." And the Ten Days of Repentance: one can rectify each day — all the days of all the years — Shabbos: all the Shabbosses — Sunday: all the Sundays — and all the days of the week — and everything must be with joy and strengthening. And Yom Kippur: to confess — to draw out the arrows from the soul from the sins — these are the ten times "al chet." And Sukkos with a beautiful esrog — and Simchas Torah — all teshuvah in joy — for the essential is joy with weeping: joy over the salvations — weeping over what is still lacking — and the joy should be more than the weeping — for "in joy you shall go out" — and the essential is that one holds firm.]

This forty-eighth letter — Thursday, 9 Elul 5720 (same date as Letter 47) — is addressed to two unnamed correspondents. It is written in Yiddish first and then in Hebrew translation. The dominant theme is the Torah portion "Ki Seitzei" as an allegory for the war against the evil inclination.

"Ki Seitzei" = the war against the evil inclination (§2): Proverbs 16:32: "one who rules his spirit has captured a city." Holding anger without acting = killing the evil inclination. LM Torah 6: the essential of teshuvah = hear one's humiliation = be still and silent. Receiving shame from one's own distance from G-d with love = atonement. LM §107: when the evil inclination can no longer prevail through sin, it seduces the person into thinking he is already a Tzaddik (the "righteous man rules in fear of G-d" trap). The remedy: "capture your captor" (Deuteronomy 21:10 — "and you shall take captive his captives") — use the very thought of arrogance against itself: if I think I am great, then G-d is completely far from me. LM Tannina §82: things go "out of order" with arrogance; "in order" (kindness and mercy, divine Name Havayah) with complete self-nullification. "I am to my Beloved and my Beloved is to me" = the path of Elul. Psalms 139:8 both directions.

Elul and Rosh Hashana (§2): Elul = teshuvah from love. Erev Rosh Hashana: pidyon, Tikkun HaKelali in connection to the Rebbe, verbal confession holding LM, Prayer 4 in Likutay Tefillot. Rosh Hashana: good thoughts, joy with weeping, connection to all Breslov gatherings. Ten Days: each day repairs all its weekday counterparts. Yom Kippur: the ten confessions = drawing out ten arrows from the soul. Sukkos with esrog; Simchas Torah. Joy with weeping — joy more than weeping.

Key terms: Ki Seitzei = milchemes hayetzer — war against the evil inclination · U'moshel b'rucho miloched ir — Proverbs 16:32 — ruling one's spirit · LM §107 — arrogance = the worst fall; the evil inclination's last weapon · V'shavita shivyo — capture your captor — Deuteronomy 21:10; turn arrogance against itself · LM Tannina §82 — shelo k'seder with arrogance; k'seder with self-nullification · Ani l'dodi v'dodi li — the path of Elul · Yom Kippur — drawing out the arrows from the soul — ten times al chet · Joy with weeping — joy more than weeping

Volume One • Letter 48

📜 Translator's Summary — Letter 48 [Added by the translator]

In the aspect of "And Moses drew close to the thick cloud [ומשה נגש אל הערפל — "And Moses drew close to the thick cloud / darkness" — Exodus 20:18. When the people of Israel heard the divine voice at Sinai, they retreated in fear — but Moses drew close into the very thick cloud of divine concealment. Applied here: the obstacles (arpel — thick cloud, concealment, darkness) are not something to be avoided but to be entered and broken through — for specifically there, inside the thick cloud of concealment, is where Hashem is found most intensely.] " — that is: the very denseness of the obstacle — for there specifically — there is the divine — specifically through the obstacles the essential drawing close to Hashem is accomplished. For through this the soul is refined and purified from the physicality and the turbidity and the filth — and one makes from the obstacles beautiful and fine vessels — to receive specifically from within them all the true and eternal divine goodness and the supernal lights — for without anything it is impossible[א"א = אי אפשר — "impossible." The standard impossibility marker.] to receive.

Acheinu HaTzaddikim (our righteous ones)

The vessels — the letters of "vessels" (keilim) are the letters of "shame/humiliation" (kelimah). [הכלי"ם אותיות כלימ"ה — "the letters of 'vessels' (keilim) are the letters of 'shame/humiliation' (kelimah)." A brilliant Hebrew wordplay: כלים (keilim — vessels, receptacles) and כלימה (kelimah — shame, humiliation, embarrassment) contain the same letters — כ, ל, י, מ — rearranged. The spiritual insight: vessels of holiness are formed through shame and humiliation. The capacity to receive divine light is built precisely through the humiliation that one endures on the path to G-d. One cannot receive without a vessel — and vessels are made of kelimah.] Through the humiliations and shames and disgraces that the person endures to draw close to Hashem — through this the vessels are made. And this is the essential of teshuvah: to hear one's humiliation — to be still and silent — through this one is refined and purified — and kills the evil inclination — and it becomes nullified in the heart from the lusts. And if the person has no humiliations from others — he must be ashamed of himself before Hashem — for being so physical and so far from Hashem — and he is still far. And he must receive these afflictions and obstacles and humiliations with love — for this is his essential rectification.

And through this he merits to true teshuvah — which is the aspect of Crown — in the aspect of "Crown — wait for me, little one, and I will crown you." [כתר לי זעיר ואחוך — "Crown — wait for me, little one, and I will crown you." An Aramaic phrase from the Zohar (Zohar II:2b) — the Crown (Keter) speaks and says: "Wait for me, small one, and I will crown you." The Keter is the highest of all the Sefirot — it is the level of perfect teshuvah — and it is also the level of waiting. The Crown says to the aspirant: wait — be patient — wait for me — and then I will crown you. This is why the Rebbe teaches that teshuvah is in the aspect of Keter — and Keter is in the language of waiting (המתנה).] For one must wait — greatly greatly — almost all the days of one's life — until one merits to enter into the holiness in truth. And specifically through the waiting — and specifically through what passes over the person — and he yearns toward Hashem — and pulls himself in truth every time[בכ"פ = בכל פעם — "every time / each time." The standard phrase: b'chol pa'am.] from all the descents and the obstacles — these are holy vessels for the service of Hashem. For it is impossible to enter into holiness all at once — rather one must wait much time — in the aspect of the Omer count: seven times seven — Ahyeh times Ahyeh — in gematria equals Emes (truth). [ספירה ז' פעמים ז' אהי' פעמים אהי' בגימ' אמת — "the Omer count: seven times seven — Ahyeh times Ahyeh — in gematria equals Emes / Truth." A Kabbalistic calculation: אהי' (Ahyeh — "I will be" — the divine Name associated with Keter) has the numerical value of 21 (alef=1 + heh=5 + yud=10 + heh=5). אהי' × אהי' = 21 × 21 = 441. And אמת (emes — truth) also equals 441 (alef=1 + mem=40 + tav=400). The forty-nine days of the Omer count are the process of seven times seven — which equals the product of Ahyeh times Ahyeh — which equals Truth. To reach truth / to reach the true Keter requires passing through the full forty-nine days of counting.]

That is: Ahyeh — this is the essential of teshuvah and the humiliation — when the person says "Ahyeh" — "I am about to become" [I am ready to be] [אהי' — "I will be / I am about to be." Ahyeh (אֶהְיֶה) — the first-person imperfect of the verb "to be" — meaning: I am in a state of becoming, I have not yet arrived, I am on the way. The Rebbe teaches: the person in teshuvah says "Ahyeh" — I have not yet been a Jew as I should be, I am not yet close to G-d, I am still in the process of becoming. See LM Torah 6 — "Kra es Yehoshua."] — [See Torah 6 — "Call out to Joshua" — §6 in Likutay Moharan] — "until now I have had no Havayah at all in the world — for it would have been better for me not to have been created than to have been created — since I have acted against the will of Hashem." But one does not exit with one Ahyeh[פ"א = פעם אחת — "one time / once." Pa'am achas — a single iteration.] — for one needs yet again and yet again — and then one merits to the Truth.

And this is the aspect of Pesach and the Omer and Shavuos. "Pesach" is the aspect of the beginning of the person's drawing close to Hashem — for so it is every year in general and in particular and in the most particular detail. And so too throughout the year[ג"כ = גם כן — "also / as well."]: when the person begins to draw close to Hashem — this is the aspect of Pesach — the Exodus from Egypt — in haste — that is: to flee from the Sitra Achra[ס"א = סטרא אחרא — Aramaic: "the other side." The demonic/impure forces.]. And to flee to the Torah and the service of Hashem — one must do it in haste — and not think about what will be of me and where I will take my sustenance from — just as Israel went out of Egypt and "they also did not prepare provisions for themselves." For one who is in a pit and does not want to exit while calculating: "what shall I do when I exit — where shall I take my sustenance — and where shall I be healed from my illness?" — this is a complete fool. For first: exit from the pit — and afterward Hashem will help. And so it is when one must flee from the pit of destruction — from the evil inclination and its lusts and its stratagems — one should not think anything about what will be afterward and so on — only trust in Hashem and flee from what one must flee from. And so too: to flee to the Torah — one must do this with alacrity — for the adversary[בע"ד = בעל דבר — "the adversary / the prosecutor." The evil inclination as spiritual prosecutor.] can delay the person all the days of his life — to waste his days in vain and emptiness. And therefore: to the Torah and the service of Hashem — one must flee to them with alacrity — in the aspect of Pesach — the Exodus from Egypt[יצי"מ = יציאת מצרים — "the Exodus from Egypt." The standard abbreviation: Yetzi'as Mitzrayim.] — in haste.

But when one is already sitting with the book — and with the divine service — and with the Tzaddik — then one needs the Omer count — and it is forbidden to rush and hurry — only in the aspect of the waiting — wait — time — times. And every single movement in holiness — and every small movement — however it may be — in whatever manner it may be in holiness — [even though one must be greatly ashamed about any manner it may be] — but let it be very precious to him — the service. Just as the pure simpleton gave life to himself through his work — even though he had no face to stand against the other craftsmen. And when one merits to strengthen oneself all one's days in the Omer count that one is counting — even though one falls greatly again and again and always — then in the end one merits to the holiness of Shavuos — which is the final purpose — for then one merits to the giving of the Torah — which the angels did not merit to this — for they do not count the Omer and they have no obstacles and no descents. And Shavuos is the holiness of the Crown — "Crown — wait for me, little one" — and if they do not count the Omer — and even if they are missing one day from the days of the count — they cannot receive the Torah — as brought in the holy Zohar on Parshas Emor. And so too regarding the service of Hashem and the connection to the Tzaddik — one must have the power and patience for the waiting — and for all that passes over him — whether physical or spiritual — and to strengthen oneself not to fall at all.

As brought in the Torah "Call out to Joshua" mentioned above — that one who wants to enter the paths of teshuvah must gird his loins and always strengthen himself in the service of Hashem — both in the ascent: in the aspect of "If I ascend to the heavens" — he should know that he is still very very far from Hashem — "for the high is above the high" and so on. And so the opposite: even when he falls, G-d forbid — however he falls — even into the very depths of Sheol literally — let him not fall from anything — and let him not think that, G-d forbid, he is far from Hashem — and let him know with certainty that Hashem is certainly with him — "and if I make my bed in Sheol — You are there." And as long as he is not strong in this — to always strengthen himself — not to turn away from Hashem and the Tzaddik — however he may be — he is not yet safe that he will draw close to Hashem — for he does not know what will still be with him — for the adversary lies in wait — "and do not trust yourself until the day of your death." And all the falls of the great people who fell completely — like Acher and Jeroboam and so on — because they could not strengthen themselves.

But when the person is strong in his mind — that he will always hold himself to Hashem — and will do what he can — whatever passes over him he will not fall, G-d forbid — and will always hold himself to Hashem — even in the very depths of Sheol literally — he will do what he can — then he walks in the paths of teshuvah — and "the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his teshuvah." For the essential is the strengthening — and so: to serve Hashem in joy. For even though truly one must mourn at midnight [להתאבל בחצות — "to mourn at midnight." The practice of Tikkun Chatzos — the midnight lamentation over the destruction of the Temple and the exile of the Shechinah — a central Kabbalistic devotional practice, especially beloved in Breslov. Performed at exactly midnight, it consists of reciting Psalms and lamentations (Tikkun Rachel — for the first half of the night; Tikkun Leah — for the second half). The author here reconciles this practice of mourning with the overarching requirement of joy.] and so during the days of affliction — and in particular on the Ninth of Av — for the exile of the Shechinah and the destruction of the Holy Temple[ביהמ"ק = בית המקדש — "the Holy Temple." The standard abbreviation.] — and the suffering of Israel — and the suffering and oppression of his own soul. But this too must be only in the aspect of yearning and longing toward Hashem — for what we have lost of such holinesses. But one must be consoled that certainly in the end of all things everything will be rectified. And the rest of the service of Hashem and Torah should be in joy and strengthening.

And the study of the Shulchan Aruch every day — and the Tikkun HaKelali every day — and a little Likutay Moharan — and Likutay Tefillot — and Likutay Halachos — and hisbodidus every day — and the Oral Torah at night[תושבע"פ = תורה שבעל פה — "the Oral Torah." The entire Talmudic-rabbinic tradition transmitted orally. The abbreviation: תו[רה ש]בע[ל] פ[ה].] [תושבע"פ בלילה — "the Oral Torah at night." תושבע"פ = תורה שבעל פה — "the Torah that is by mouth / the Oral Torah." The Talmudic tradition (Avoda Zara 3b; Zohar) that the study of the Oral Torah (Talmud and halacha) is especially propitious at night. תושבע"פ is the standard abbreviation for Torah shebe'al peh.] — besides the other study sessions — Talmud, Tosafos, and so on[גפ"ת = גמרא, פוסקים, תוספות — "Talmud, halachic decisors, Tosafos." The standard abbreviation for the traditional trio of Talmudic study: the Talmud itself, the Tosafos (12th–13th century Franco-German commentaries), and the halachic decisors (Rishonim and Acharonim).] — according to capacity. And the connection to the true Tzaddik — which is the essential.

This forty-fourth letter — Thursday of Parshas Pinchas, Jerusalem — is addressed to Yitzchak Moshe HaKohen, a new correspondent with a priestly surname. It is one of the most kabbalistic and pedagogically rich letters in the later part of the collection.

Obstacles and vessels (§2): The world was created for free choice and tests. Moses entered the thick cloud — specifically there is where G-d is. The obstacle is the place of the divine. Keilim / kelimah: the same letters — vessels are formed through humiliation. LM Torah 6: teshuvah = hearing one's humiliation = be still and silent → refined → kills the evil inclination. If no external humiliation — be ashamed before G-d of one's physicality and distance. Keter = waiting ("Crown — wait for me, little one"). Cannot enter holiness all at once. The Omer: 7 × 7 = Ahyeh × Ahyeh = 441 = Emes (truth). Ahyeh = "I am about to become" — the teshuvah of becoming. One Ahyeh is not enough — must say it again and again until truth is reached. Pesach = flee in haste (from the pit, from the evil inclination, to Torah). Omer = sit and wait — every small movement precious (the pure simpleton). Shavuos = final purpose — the giving of Torah — which angels cannot receive because they don't count the Omer and have no obstacles. Missing even one day of the Omer → cannot receive Torah (Zohar Emor).

LM Torah 6, mourning, and daily program (§3): Expert in ascent ("If I ascend to the heavens — You are there" — still very far) and descent ("If I make my bed in Sheol — You are there"). Don't trust yourself until the day of death (Avos 2:4). Acher and Jeroboam: they fell because they couldn't strengthen themselves. Tikkun Chatzos reconciled with joy: mourning at midnight and on Tisha B'Av must be in the mode of yearning, not despair. Daily program: Shulchan Aruch, Tikkun HaKelali, LM, Likutay Tefillot, LH, hisbodidus, Oral Torah at night, Talmud and Tosafos — all according to capacity. The connection to the Tzaddik = the essential. Key terms: U'Moshe nigash el ha'arafel — Moses entered the thick cloud; the divine is specifically within the obstacle · Keilim — kelimah — same letters — vessels of holiness formed through shame/humiliation · Keter li ze'ir v'achovech — "Crown — wait for me, little one" — Zohar; waiting is the essence of teshuvah · Ahyeh × Ahyeh = 441 = Emes — Kabbalistic calculation of the Omer's purpose · Ahyeh = ana zamein l'mihavei — "I am about to become" — the teshuvah of becoming · Pesach = haste; Omer = waiting; Shavuos = purpose — applied to all spiritual work daily · The pure simpleton — gave life to himself through his simple work despite shame · Missing one Omer day → cannot receive Torah — Zohar Emor · Al ta'amin b'atzmecha ad yom mosscha — Avos 2:4 — don't trust yourself until the day of death · Tikkun Chatzos — midnight mourning; reconciled with joy as yearning, not despair · Tushbe"p b'lailah — Oral Torah at night; the propitious time for Talmud study