T274 PNC - The Wicked Who Toil to Achieve Complete Denial

Know that there are wicked people who labor and toil all their days to uproot themselves completely from Hashem and from His Torah. Why? Because the holy point of Israel's kedushah that still remains within them — even when they are total resha'im — keeps confusing them, sending them thoughts of teshuvah and fear of the great judgment. Because of this they get no pleasure from their averos and ta'avot — that little point won't let them be. So they desire and toil to reach total denial in their da'at, G-d forbid, in such a way that they will have no remaining inclination toward the truth. But this requires very, very great toil over many many years — Hashem save us. The Yiddishkeit inside them keeps confusing them, and never lets them go.

And know — there are some of them who, when they finally reach the very thing they desired (complete kefirah without any doubt of truth, G-d forbid), in that very moment they die from the world. And then they see the truth. Their last achievement is the punishment that delivers them to face it.