אות - רלא

I further heard from the man mentioned above that he entered before him many times wanting to speak with him, and he could not open his mouth to speak before him what was in his heart. And once he was standing and serving him, and he intended to speak with him immediately but could not open his mouth at all. Afterward Rabbainu, o.b.m., commanded him to hand him his shoes to put on for the honor of the holy Shabbos — for it was after leaving the bathhouse on Shabbos eve. And then at the time when he handed him his shoes, Rabbainu, o.b.m., answered of his own accord and said to him: Accustom yourself to speak before Hashem Yisburach — and then you will also be able to speak with me. Afterward at a time when he merited to speak with him, when he entered and also wished to speak but it was very difficult for him to speak — Rabbainu, o.b.m., answered and said: A mighty warrior girded his loins to conquer a strong fortress. And when he came to the gate, there was woven upon the gate a web of spider silk that blocked the gate. Is there any foolishness like this — that he would retreat from his battle because of the spider silk blocking? (The analogy is self-understood.) And afterward he said to him: The essence is speech. For through speech one can conquer everything and be victorious in all battles. And he said: Even though one can engage in hisbodidus in thought, nonetheless the essence is speech. And the analogy is understood by itself — regarding how difficult it is for a person to speak before Hashem Yisburach or before the true Tzadikim what is in his heart. And all this is from the shame and heaviness that he does not have the boldness of holiness[419] — this is certainly great foolishness. For he wants to conquer through his speech a great battle which is the battle against the Evil Inclination. And now when he is close to doing so — to conquer and break fortresses and open gates through speech — and because of some slight impediment from his faint-heartedness and the like, he should prevent himself, Heaven forbid, from speaking?! For that impediment is considered as the blockage of spider silk against the fortresses he wants to break through his speech. He also told me — the man mentioned above — that Rabbainu commanded him to have two hours of hisbodidus per day: one hour to walk and yearn and prepare himself to speak, arranging his heart for this — and afterward to speak for one hour. 419. RAK: Betzah 25a; Avos 5:20; Likutay Moharan 22, 147, 271; Likutay Halachos, Choshen Mishpat, Gift 5; Fence around a roof 4.