אות - נו

He previously related that in his youth he had very, very great fear of death — and was very frightened and afraid of death to a great extent. And then he used to request from Hashem Yisburach to die for the sanctification of the Name. And he went in this for a long time — and he does not remember exactly how long, but he knows it was a great length of time, perhaps a year, that he went in this and always requested this. And there was no conversation or prayer in which he did not request this — that he would depart for the sanctification of the Name. And from his great fear and awe at that time of death as mentioned, this itself — that he used to pray for this — was for him literally a surrender of his soul for the sanctification of the Name. Because his fear was very great at that time from this. And from what was mentioned I understood: that the thing which overwhelms a person and in which he is immersed — that specific thing is what he must break for the sake of Hashem Yisburach, because that is the essence of his service [Berachos 54a]. And as our Sages o.b.m. said [on Deuteronomy 6:5]: *"And with all your might"* — "there are those for whom their money is more precious than their body" [Berachos 61b]. And understand.