צא

And behold — our way always in Breslov is to pray on the seventh day of Pesach very early in the morning — from the very break of dawn — as is the custom of all the descendants of the Baal Shem Tov zichrono livracha and those who follow them. But in Odessa I thought that certainly we would not have a minyan to pray so early. But Hashem Blessed be He helped us to strengthen our hearts with joy — until we merited that ten gathered to us. And we immersed in the mikveh as was our way always. And we prayed the entire prayer in a minyan. And we said all the liturgical poems. And we read the Torah. And we also heard Birkas Kohanim from R.Y. who had come with Rabbi Yehuda Eliezer. And afterward I waited until they completed the prayer in the synagogue. And afterward I circumcised the child according to the law. Praised be G-d. And through all of this our hearts were aroused to very great joy. And so it was — praised be G-d — that on the seventh day of Pesach we were in very great joy — in dancing and many circles — all day long until evening. First in Rabbi Sh.'s house where I ate. And afterward we entered the circumcision house. And the greatness of the joy we had there — there is no measure to it. For we aroused all the assembled people there to the joy of the festival and the joy of the bris milah. And even the father of the child — who was by nature a melancholy person — and when we entered his house he was very far from joy — but afterward through the greatness of the joy we roused him to great joy — until he and other people far from joy — all of them danced in honor of the festival with great joy. And it is already explained among us what a great mitzvah it is when one gladdens a person who is in sadness and melancholy — in particular on a festival at such a seudas mitzvah. Afterward we entered Rabbi Tzvi's house. And there too we had great joy and danced greatly. And praised be G-d — all of the sixth day — which was the seventh of Pesach — passed in great joy with the help of Hashem Blessed be He.

And similarly on the Shabbas following — which was the last day of Pesach — at first at the time of the morning meal we were very remote from joy and dancing — from the greatness of the exhaustion of yesterday. But even so in my mind I greatly longed to speak from the Torah of Rabbainu zichrono livracha and to be in joy. Until Hashem Blessed be He helped me — and I was conversing and telling the assembled people who came to us — whatever came to our mouth. Until from within the words we entered into the Torah on the verse "Vayeshasef" and so on [Samuel I, 15] — which is an acronym [rashay teivos]: Shavuos, Sukkos, Pesach — and about Avraham establishing the morning prayer, and so on — and about the attainment of Divinity which is only possible through tzimtzumim [contractions], and so on — as all of this is explained in §30. And I greatly, greatly enlivened all the listeners. Afterward we merited to be aroused through this to great joy — until the joy reached our feet. And we returned and danced greatly. Until also all of the holy Shabbas day passed in great joy. And the joy of the last days was greater than the joy of the first days of Pesach. Blessed be Hashem who has helped me until here — and strengthened our hearts in joy. For "the joy of Hashem is our strength" [Nehemiah 8]. On Sunday after Pesach — I was very eagerly pursuing hiring a ship. But it was impossible — for it was then their holiday — three consecutive days.

On Wednesday — Parshas Shemini — the eleventh of the Counting — we entered to broker R.A. And he went with us to the city gates (called prigivarniye). And immediately and at once we hired a ship for the sum of one hundred rubles for both of us. And my heart was somewhat doubtful at first — how to give such a sum. For what remained in my hand for the other essential travel expenses from there onward — even of such a sum — was not enough. And it is known that from Istanbul to Eretz Yisroel the way is longer than from Odessa to Istanbul. But even so — I cast my burden on Hashem Blessed be He and hired the ship. Praised be G-d. And salvation belongs to Hashem.

While I was in Odessa — I wished to meet the immigrants who were staying there who had come in order to travel to Eretz Yisroel. But it did not come to my hand. For some of them had traveled at the beginning of winter to some small town near Odessa — because several men with their wives and those proceeding from their loins had come in the summer of the past year 5581 to Odessa. But because of the reports of the noise and dangers of the Greek war — all of them had been detained in Odessa. And some of them had traveled to the town mentioned above in order to be there throughout the winter days — because of the very great expense of Odessa — for residing in large cities was hard upon them. And some of them had remained in Odessa. And one woman was in Rabbi Henich's house — which was my lodgings. But I did not speak with her at all about the journey to Eretz Yisroel — for what would it help me if she traveled with me? And in particular since I understood that she too was not content to travel immediately. And other people who wished to travel to Eretz Yisroel — I did not see them before me. For in Odessa I did not pray in the study hall. Therefore I did not see them — except one person: Rabbi Aharon Yehuda mentioned above. And behold — Hashem arranged that on some day there came before me a certain poor man — I saw him standing in Rabbi Tzvi's house mentioned above. And I recognized in him that he was one of the immigrant people who wished to travel to Eretz Yisroel. And I began to speak with him. And he acknowledged to me that he wished to travel to Eretz Yisroel. And I asked him: perhaps there were here more somewhat well-off people who wished to travel to Eretz Yisroel? He replied: is there not here Rabbi Yosef Franzois of Tarnopol — who has been sitting here a long time with his wife and son — and he is a very wealthy man?

And immediately he took us to his lodgings. And I found him lying on his bed in the afternoon sleep. But he was not asleep. And I entered to him and began to speak with him. And immediately he began to tell me of the very great immense danger that existed now — Heaven forbid. And that it was impossible to travel now. And he said that just recently he had received several letters from there — that it was impossible to go on the White Sea. And in the meantime he told me how the Greek — may his name be blotted out — was very strong. And that he had many lands of which we know nothing. And he sits there and wages mighty wars with the Ishmaelite. And because of this it was impossible to travel now. And at first this somewhat weakened my mind. But immediately I said in my heart that this too is only an obstacle that comes for the sake of the longing — as explained above. And he also told me that he was greatly preventing and delaying many people who had come here — that they should not travel to Eretz Yisroel. And I immediately saw that he was a messenger of the yetzer hara to obstruct the path to Eretz Yisroel. And I took my leave of him. And from then onward I did not wish to ask at all about those traveling to Eretz Yisroel — lest they weaken my mind Heaven forbid. And also the Odessa people who knew me — all of them with one voice said it was not fitting to travel now to Eretz Yisroel from the greatness of the danger Heaven forbid. But Hashem Blessed be He strengthened my heart to pass over all of this — and to place my trust in Hashem Blessed be He. Until He helped me in His mercy to travel through His great kindness. Praised be G-d.