Chapter Thirty: Above Nature

Oy vey, oy vey — I have no strength and no words to speak of this. It is such a wonder as has never yet been in the world. Only Rabbenu — Rabbi Nachman — is such a wonder as has never yet been in the world! And all his matters are such wonders as have never yet been in the world!

The soul that draws close to Rabbenu — this is a wonder. And the Petek is another wonder. Everything is wonders. Every page of Rabbenu's books is a wonder — above nature. Our holy Rabbenu revealed such things, such wisdom, that one can live without eating and drinking, yes. And he occupies himself for our sake with mesiras nefesh even now — as in his lifetime, and more — to take us out of sins, from distant places, from defiled places, from such lowly places. And he prepared repairs, healings and salvations for each one at all times, in every trouble, in every place where one finds oneself. Such a thing has never yet been in the world — such a matter, such a wonder. And likewise this Petek is a wonder that surpasses all wonders. Such a wonder — how he wrote this and signed this. Sixty years ago it was already one hundred and twenty years since Rabbenu passed away.

In any case what I saw and understood from the Petek at the time I saw it — I cannot tell. One can understand from the joy — from what I felt in the heart. But even if I could speak — what I felt and what is in this cannot be revealed, cannot be told, cannot be spoken.

Nu — I tell it as it was, and even this not completely. I showed this in Yerushalayim to great kabbalists [masters of mysticism] and they were astonished and moved by it so much. This is very awesome — such teachings, such pleasure, such a revelation of the divine as has never been in the world!

One sees in this, without investigations and without analyses — one sees that this is true and firm and correct. One sees that no human being wrote this — not the language and not the writing. In any case I do not need to bring witnesses; there is no need for approvals. It is its own witness — the Petek witnesses for itself. When one sees it — one sees that this is a miracle from Heaven. One sees that this is not the work of human hands. Above nature! Just to see the signature of Rabbenu with nekudos — he writes and signs: Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman — this is the signature!

Our holy Rabbenu in his lifetime signed his name on his letters as "Nachman" — without vowel-points. And here is written "Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman" — with vowel-points. The whole world knows: "Rabbi Nachman of Breslov." But here he signed "MayUman" — because he dwells in the city of Uman in Russia. It appears that the Petek was created and made there in the place where he is found. So it is written in the Petek.

And he also revealed that I had not fasted on the seventeenth of Tammuz. No one knew — only I alone. I would cause desecration of G-d's Name — they would say that Breslov Chassidim do not fast on the seventeenth of Tammuz? I had such pain — I could have died from the enormity of the pain. Then he came to me: "You will die?! No — you are my dear student! Regarding you I said: Mayn fayerl vet tlien biz Mashiach vet kumen — My fire will burn until Mashiach comes. You must believe. Do not fear — be strong and courageous in your service!"

The Petek is all a wonder. Who could think that I am the dear student of our holy Rabbenu? This is a wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder beyond all estimation. Now I grasp and understand the meaning of this. Then I could not understand "My dear student" — but now I am strong in this very much. And blessed be Hashem — it is true. Blessed be Hashem this too is a wonder from our holy Rabbenu — that even I can grasp from this such wondrous words and such awesome secrets, such lights. It is impossible to understand…

"It was very difficult for me to descend to you" — looking at the descent: all the lines are straight. Nu — I fell completely. "I am his dear student?" It was hard for me to receive this. I was the lowest of all: "What — I? Who am I?" And if it was difficult for Rabbi Nachman to descend to me — this is a descent, G-d forbid… This is very awesome. I must dig a grave and bury myself alive from the enormity of the shame. Yet immediately after this descent he revives me, strengthens me, raises me from the depths of the abyss to the heights above — "My dear student." He writes to me midway through the line — where it was not necessary — and stops to write: "My dear student."

The Petek is all a wonder. Who could think that I am the dear student of our holy Rabbenu? This is a wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder, wonder beyond all estimation. Now I grasp and understand the meaning of this. Then I could not understand "My dear student" — but now I am strong in this very much. And blessed be Hashem — it is true. Blessed be Hashem this too is a wonder from our holy Rabbenu — that even I can grasp from this such wondrous words and such awesome secrets, such lights. It is impossible to understand…

"It was very difficult for me to descend to you" — looking at the descent: all the lines are straight. Nu — I fell completely. "I am his dear student?" It was hard for me to receive this. I was the lowest of all: "What — I? Who am I?" And if it was difficult for Rabbi Nachman to descend to me — this is a descent, G-d forbid… This is very awesome. I must dig a grave and bury myself alive from the enormity of the shame. Yet immediately after this descent he revives me, strengthens me, raises me from the depths of the abyss to the heights above — "My dear student." He writes to me midway through the line — where it was not necessary — and stops to write: "My dear student."

Is "my student" alone not enough? Why "my dear student"? He could have written simply: "To descend to you to tell you that I greatly enjoyed your service." No — he writes: "My dear student!"

"To tell you that I greatly enjoyed your service" — such words… I cannot pray, I cannot bring any holy thing from my mouth. I am so distant. And he writes "my dear student"! And why does he need to descend so much to tell me that he "greatly enjoyed my service"? I did not enjoy it at all — and he enjoyed it!

And why is it written "to tell you" rather than "to inform you" or "to reveal to you"?

No — "to tell" means face to face! He speaks with me as one person to another: "to tell you that I greatly enjoyed your service." Do you know this? This is news!

And what is to be told? "To tell you that I greatly enjoyed your service" — this that you turn everything to good and believe in Rabbenu.

"I greatly enjoyed your service" — this is the sadness and heartbreak I had over the transgression of not fasting on the seventeenth of Tammuz.

"Your service" — I did not feel any service at all. What face do I have?

"I greatly enjoyed your service" and "regarding you I said" — these are two separate matters. You can strengthen yourself: "Be strong and courageous in your service."

"Regarding you I said" — though you did such a thing and are as you are: "regarding you I said." What did I say of you? Our holy Rabbenu said in his lifetime one hundred and eighty years ago: "My fire will burn until the coming of Mashiach" — as written in Chayay Moharan. And here he reveals in the Petek: "What I said then — that was said regarding you!" That through me the light will shine until the coming of Mashiach. "Nu — will you be in sadness?"

Nu — what can I do; so it is written. And I am alive — this is no trivial matter. I live by great miracles. I see I was already very close to the grave and Hashem returned me again to this world.

Strengthening — "Be strong and courageous!" I had fallen completely and he says: "Be strong and courageous in your service!"

"Be strong and courageous" — this is his matter, his healing. Two words: "Be strong and courageous." He gives us healings — the healing: "Be strong and courageous in your service."

How many times has our holy Rabbenu warned us greatly to be strong and courageous. If not — G-d forbid, not good. Only: be strong and courageous. The Ba'al Davar wants only to cause falling — this is a battle, a great battle. We must believe in the words of the tzadik. If he says "Be strong and courageous" — we must fulfill it! Believe! Receive! Only: be strong and courageous!

And simply — we see that all the words of Rabbenu are living and enduring forever. All the words of Rabbenu are the totality of all the Torah, the totality of all the souls of Israel — all the Jews! All the Torah portions and all the conversations and everything that passes over each and every one. Rabbenu's matter is not for one person — but for each and every one of Israel. So also the Petek is a totality: "to you" means — not only to me. The intention is to the entire world. The entire Petek was written for each and every one of Israel and speaks to each and every one! "To tell you that I greatly enjoyed your service, my dear student" — written without a name. It is for each one who truly studies Rabbenu's books. If one suddenly awakens to serve Hashem, to do teshuvah, to return to Hashem — this is "my student" and: "I greatly enjoyed it — it brings immense delight to Hashem." The Petek has great power for each person who has any trouble and needs salvation. One should sing with joy Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman and focus — it can help us to merit above all else to draw close to the Torah and true emunah. There are many beliefs — even the gentiles have their beliefs. But all is falsehood. True emunah — this is a special matter…