קצט

My beloved son — my dear one. I received your letter on Friday together with the letter of Rabbi Chaim. Just now you should know — that on Friday I was called again before the official — and he showed me that he had transcribed my declaration [הַדִּיפְרָאס — *difras* — the Russian word for a written declaration or deposition. The official has taken Reb Nussun's own letter of self-defence and transcribed it formally into Russian as an official statement] from my letter into his language — and read it before me. And I also called Rabbi Yisrael Chaim — and he too read it before me — and it corresponds precisely to what I wrote. May Hashem Yisborach have mercy that everything be for good. At present — as it appears — no response whatsoever has come from Kamenetz [קַאמִינִיץ — Kamenetz-Podolsk: the regional administrative capital of the district — the seat of the higher provincial authority to which this case has been referred] at all. And blessed be Hashem — I observed the holy Shabbas here — and to Hashem is the salvation that I will sit all the days that I wish in His great kindness [שָׁבַתְתִּי שַׁבַּת קֹדֶשׁ פֹּה — the extraordinary relief and gratitude: having been expected to be expelled, Reb Nussun was still in Breslov for Shabbas. He sees this as a direct gift of divine kindness] . Only now we need to pray to draw down salvation and mercies — that the verdict of the judgment come out for my benefit — that I be completely acquitted in the judgment — as in truth I am innocent of any sin in this matter — for all is false accusations. And our enemies will kneel and fall and be ashamed and be greatly terrified and so forth — and to Hashem belongs the salvation. And the above-mentioned official told me himself — that all of this must be sent to Kamenetz — to the provincial governor [הַגַּארְדְּנִיטְשֶׁא — the *gardnitche* — the Russian provincial governor or chief administrator of the Kamenetz district] — and afterwards there will still be further investigations. [סְלֶעדֶסוֶוע — *sledestvoye* — the Russian word for judicial investigation or inquiry] At present we have the leisure to draw close to Hashem Yisborach and to pray before Him — specifically through this — for we have no one to flee to except Hashem Yisborach . And behold — the days of the judgment and the great verdict of Rosh Hashanah are approaching and coming — and Rosh Chodesh Elul has already been blessed [בֵּרְכוּ רֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ אֱלוּל — the Shabbas before Rosh Chodesh Elul on which the new month is announced in shul. Elul begins the forty-day season of *teshuvah* culminating in Yom Kippur — and Rosh Hashanah is now imminent] — and we must tremble and fear greatly before this judgment that touches on eternal life — and one cannot bribe with money nor appease with words. And all the fear of the legal judgment that is upon me that we have now — it is in order to remember and not forget the fear of the judgment of Rosh Hashanah — and how much more so the fear of the great and awesome Day of Judgment. For all fears and all fallen dreads must be elevated — so that one fears nothing and dreads nothing except Hashem Yisborach alone — and one must know and believe that all the fears and dreads that pass over a person — and especially fears like these that we have now — all are in order to remind us to tremble and fear Hashem Yisborach. And as soon as one remembers the fear of Hashem — even though each one knows in his own heart that he is not clean at all — even so one can rejoice and live true life — for the fear of Hashem adds days — in the dimension of the fear of Hashem leads to life [יִרְאַת ה' תּוֹסִיף יָמִים — Mishlai 10:27 — and *yirat Hashem l'chayyim* — Mishlai 19:23: "the fear of Hashem leads to life." The fear of Hashem is not a constricting dread but a life-giving awe that opens up abundance] [Mishlai 10:27; 19:23] . And this is the essence of the completeness of fear — that specifically through the great fear one arrives at joy — as it is written: *v'gilu viradah* — rejoice in trembling [Tehillim 2:11] . And the essential — through the power of the true *tzaddik*. For as soon as one remembers how much one must fear and tremble from the enormity of one's own defects — one immediately gives life and joy to oneself with the fact that we are supported by such a great and wondrous power and so forth. And especially — for we have also merited to snatch some good points every day — to give ourselves life through this. And through this one can settle one's mind — and add every day all that is possible — and renew and strengthen the will and the holy yearnings every day — and bring the yearnings from potential into actuality through the speech of one's mouth. [אוּן טַאקֶי פָארְט אַשְׁרֵינוּ — Breslov Yiddish: "and yet, for all that — *ashreinu*!" The defiant joy that breaks through all circumstances. And: וָואס הָאבִּין מִיר זִיךְ וָואס צוּ שֶׁעמִין — "what do we have to be ashamed of?" The triumphant rhetorical question — spoken by the Rebbe himself — that Reb Nussun says must be remembered every time] How fortunate are we — that we know all this and even more and more. We will never be ashamed of having merited to know such truth — and so forth. And we must remember every time what he said: *vos hobin mir zich vos tzu shemen* — what do we have to be ashamed of? and so forth. Beyond this it is impossible to extend. The words of your father who awaits salvation. Nussun of Breslov.