סט.

Counting of the Omer Even though in truth one must hasten and hurry very, very greatly to deliver oneself — and especially one who has already stumbled and been trapped in what he has been trapped in, Heaven have mercy — even so, it is impossible to force the hour. And one must wait and wait greatly for the salvation of Hashem in wholeness: "until Hashem looks down and sees from Heaven" [Lamentations 3:50]. But even so — within the time of waiting and delay — it is forbidden to forget and to remove one's mind from this. Only to yearn and to hope and to look forward (with longing and longing, etc., and strong will and arousal) — and to count and to number the days. And to long and to yearn at every moment: when will he merit to the day of his soul's salvation in wholeness (meaning to receive the Torah anew)? Like one who longs and yearns for something — the way is to count the days until he attains his desire. Until he merits to draw down upon himself the aspect of the holiness of the Torah. But not every person merits to this — to be so strong in his mind — and to wait and to look forward to the salvation of Hashem — even while what passes over him passes.

A person must think about himself all the days of his life every single day — and remember well every single day — for he must know that all his days are counted and numbered and fixed in number and reckoning — in order to hasten greatly (and to overcome himself to seize some good points, as much as he can) to deliver his soul. But the adversary strengthens against him and wishes to undermine the days of his counting — saying to him: what is it to you, and what gain is it that you count your days at every moment and think about your end every day — since you see that with all this you have not managed to be as Hashem Yisburach desires in truth? But if he is wise about the true truth — he will say and reply in his heart: would I then cease entirely from counting my days, Heaven forbid? For even so my end will come — and I am compelled to give an accounting from every day and every day. Therefore — even if what passes over me passes — I will stand at my post, to guard and to do and to look forward and to wait for the salvation of Hashem. And within that time I will seize good in every way I can — every single day — a little or a great deal. And when he is strong and courageous in this way — counting and numbering his days — even though it seems to him that he is not fulfilling his obligation today. And even if the truth is so — even so he will not undermine his counting because of this. For even so… my days are counted and numbered — and therefore I am obligated to set all my heart and my aim and my hope — to wait and to look forward to the salvation of Hashem. For one who guards and watches and waits for the salvation of Hashem — certainly he has a day. For in the end the day he awaits will arrive — that he merits to truly draw close to Him Yisburach. Before the receiving of the Torah — Israel was warned lest they break through to ascend to Hashem. One must repair the contraction of the minds — so that the mind does not go out beyond the boundary of holiness — so that one does not think evil thoughts and external wisdoms and vain wisdoms and all kinds of thoughts that are outside the boundary of holiness. And also within holiness — the mind must not go beyond the boundary: in the aspect of "in what is too wondrous for you do not investigate" [Ben Sira 3:21]. (Which is the aspect of the warning of "lest they break through to ascend to Hashem" — meaning it is forbidden to break through to ascend to Hashem — only gradually and in measure.) (In the aspect of patience and waiting.) Even though a person must be very careful every single day to fulfill his daily obligation in every way possible — for he must know that all his days are counted and numbered, and he will be required to give an accounting from every day and every hour, and he has in his world only that day and that hour. And therefore certainly a person must be very alacritous every single day — to strengthen himself to draw close to Hashem Yisburach as much as his hand can find in his power to do — even so, he must be careful for his soul that the alacrity does not cause him, if beyond measure, an utter breach, Heaven forbid. For this is a great principle — that in every matter and every measure there is good and evil within it. And the adversary always lies in ambush for the person — to trap him in his snare, Heaven forbid — through all kinds of stratagems and cunningness in the world — what the mouth cannot speak and the heart cannot think. Therefore a person must look well upon his ways at every time — so that he not be trapped in the net of the adversary, Heaven forbid. For certainly at first the adversary strengthens to completely prevent the person from the path of life — and to turn his ways entirely to the paths of death, Heaven forbid. But when he sees that the person is somewhat aroused and wishes to return to Hashem, etc. (to pray and to learn) — then he spreads himself against him and prevents him through many preventions and weaknesses and confusions without measure.

May Hashem save us. …Through which all will merit to teshuvah. …Through which the redemption will come. Many ascents and descents must pass over each and every person — which cannot be explained in writing. Especially one who has already stumbled as he has stumbled. Therefore if he wishes to have compassion upon his life — to improve his end — he must go (and run) on his hands and his feet to the true Tzadik and his disciples and the disciples of his disciples, etc. Even in these latter generations — in which the concealment within concealment has intensified without end. And we now in this dark generation are at the very edge and the end — where Israel stands at the place where the boundary of Israel ends — where the holiness of Israel concludes — beyond which the holiness of Israel does not extend. Even so, it is forbidden to question His ways — for His thoughts are very deep. For the Tzadik has already preceded and given us — that he will complete everything as he desires and bring everything to the good, true, and eternal purpose. Even so: "From the floods of many mighty waters — the breakers of the sea — Hashem on high is mighty" [Psalms 93:4]. For even though the many waters are mighty, mightier than the breakers of the sea — they overpower every person so greatly — even so, from all of them "Hashem on high is mighty." And the Tzadik has already preceded and given us… But Hashem Yisburach had compassion upon His world — and in His love and His compassion He gave us the Tzadik who is in the aspect of Moshe — who arouses us at every moment to return to Hashem Yisburach — however things may be. Even if he has transgressed the entire Torah thousands of times — for His mercies are very abundant and there is hope for all — always, all the days of his life.

Israel Dov Odesser