תּוֹרָה ו - קְרָא אֶת יְהוֹשֻׁעַ

Torah 1099

Every person must diminish his own honour and magnify the honour of the Omnipresent, may He be blessed — and not pursue honour, but rather flee from it. Then he merits divine honour [k'vod Elokim] — and people do not scrutinise his honour, questioning whether he is deserving of it or not. But one who pursues honour does not merit divine honour — and therefore, even when he has honour, everyone scrutinises and investigates him, asking: who is this, and what entitles him to such honour? — and they dispute him, saying he is unworthy of it. [Understood from this is the matter of the dispute of Korach — who suspected Moshe of pursuing honour, and therefore scrutinised his honour. And regarding himself, Korach thought he had already merited divine honour — and therefore said: "All this greatness will in the future belong to..." — presumably through his own merit, as they said: "the father merits the son" — "and I am Edom [red — i.e. worthy]," for I have no further need of the silence [of humility].]

Through humility [anavah] one merits repentance [teshuvah] — for the primary repentance is when one hears his own humiliation, remains silent and still, and bears humiliations and the shedding of his blood [u-shfichus domim — being shamed to the point of blanching, as blood drains from the face] — through feeling his own lowliness, smallness, and abundant blemishes, and understanding that he certainly deserves to suffer the humiliations that come upon him. Through this he reduces the blood in the left chamber of the heart [m'ma'ayt ha-dom she-b'chalal ha-s'moli she-ba-laiv] and slaughters his Evil Inclination [zovaich yitzro hora]. And through this he merits the above-mentioned divine honour. ["Shfichus domim" — literally "pouring of blood" — refers to the extreme shame of being so humiliated that the blood drains from the face. Bearing this level of dishonour in silence is itself the highest act of repentance.]

Before repentance, one has as yet no true existence — as though he has not yet come into being in the world, since ""it would have been better for him had he not been created than to have been created"" [Eruvin 13b]. But when he comes to purify himself and do repentance, he then prepares himself to have true existence in the world. Therefore repentance is the aspect of Ehyeh [I will be] — that is: "I am preparing to come into being", as above.

Repentance is also the aspect of Keser [Crown] — for keser is an expression of waiting [hamtanah], as it is written: ""Wait a little for me and I will show you"" [Job 36:2]. And this is the aspect of repentance — as our Sages of blessed memory said [Yoma 38b]: ""One who comes to purify himself is assisted. This is like one who comes to buy balsam oil — they say to him: wait"" — for one must know that when he comes to purify himself and do repentance, they say to him: wait. That is — although he must hasten greatly to save his soul and flee from the midst of the darkness, nonetheless let him not be panicked by his thoughts when he sees his distance from prayer and from all matters of holiness. For it is necessary to wait until he merits complete rectification — and to proceed gradually according to how the true Tzadik guides him — for it is impossible to enter the domain of holiness all at once.

One must always hold fast to the quality of repentance [midas ha-teshuvah] — for even at the moment when a person says "I have sinned, I have transgressed, I have rebelled" — even that he cannot say without some ulterior motive [p'niyah]. It turns out that he must do repentance over his first repentance — that is, over the very utterance of "I have sinned, I have transgressed, I have rebelled" that he said.

And even if a person knows in himself that he has done complete repentance — even so, he must do repentance over his first repentance. For when he first did repentance, he did so according to the level of his comprehension [hasagah] at that time; and thereafter when he does repentance, he certainly perceives and comprehends Hashem Yisborach more deeply. It follows that according to his present comprehension, his earlier comprehension is regarded as a form of corporeality [gashmiyus] — and he must do repentance for having coarsened the exaltedness of His G-dliness, may He be blessed. Fortunate is one who merits such repentance. [And this is what our Sages of blessed memory said: "Had Israel observed two Sabbaths they would immediately have been redeemed" [Shabbos 118b] — meaning the two repentances which constitute the completion of repentance that brings redemption, as our Sages say [Yoma 86b].]

The true Tzadik is in repentance all his days — for even when he knows in himself that he has done complete repentance, he is still doing repentance over his earlier comprehension, which now counts in his eyes as corporeality — compared to the comprehension of the exaltedness of His G-dliness, may He be blessed, that he attains now. And so he conducts himself all his days — going each time from one comprehension to a deeper comprehension, and doing repentance over the first comprehension. This is the aspect of the World to Come, which will be entirely Shabbos, entirely repentance — for the primary World to Come is the comprehension of His G-dliness, may He be blessed. And at every moment, as they attain a deeper comprehension, they will do repentance over the first comprehension. And whoever has a brain in his skull can understand from this the greatness of the Creator, may He be blessed, and the greatness of the Tzadikim. Fortunate are they and those who cleave to them.

One who wishes to return to Hashem Yisborach must be exceedingly well-versed in halachah [baki ba-halachah] — so that nothing in the world, whether in ascent or in descent, should cause him to fall or to distance himself. In whatever passes over him he should strengthen himself — as it is said in Yiddish: "der haltn zikh" [to hold on to oneself] — and fulfil: ""If I ascend to Heaven, You are there; and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there"" [Psalms 139:8] — for even in the lowest depths of the netherworld one can draw oneself close to Hashem Yisborach, for He, may He be blessed, is found even there — in the aspect of: ""and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there.""

When one wishes to walk in the ways of repentance he must be well-versed in halachah — and he must possess two kinds of expertise: expertise in running [baki b'ratzo] and expertise in returning [baki b'shuv] — which is the aspect of going in and going out [ayel v'nafik]; the aspect of: ""If I ascend to Heaven, You are there; and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there."" That is: whoever wishes to return to Hashem Yisborach must gird his loins and strengthen himself in the ways of Hashem always — both in ascent and in descent — which are the two aspects of: ""If I ascend to Heaven, You are there; and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there."" Meaning: whether he merits some ascent — to some level great or small — even so let him not stand still there and not be satisfied with that. And he must be exceedingly expert in this: to know and to believe that he must go further and further, etc. — this being the aspect of expertise in running. And conversely: even if he falls, G-d forbid, to wherever he falls — even to the lowest depths of the netherworld, G-d forbid — even there let him never, under any circumstances whatsoever, despair of himself, G-d forbid — whatever the situation may be. Rather, let him search and seek Hashem Yisborach — and strengthen himself in whatever place he is, in whatever way he can — for Hashem Yisborach is found even in the lowest depths, and even from there one can cling to Him, may He be blessed. This is the aspect of: ""and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there"" — the aspect of expertise in returning. For it is impossible to merit repentance except when one possesses both these expertises. And in truth it is a very great expertise to merit knowing that one must labour and toil in the service of Hashem always, and to look forward at every moment to reaching a yet higher level — and yet despite all this, not to fall on account of anything. And even if one's situation is whatever it is, G-d forbid — even so let him not fall in spirit at all — and let him fulfil: ""and if I make my bed in the netherworld, behold You are there,"" as above. And when he possesses both these expertises he is then walking in the ways of repentance — and then the right hand of Hashem is extended to receive his repentance. And he merits the honour of Hashem — and through this he becomes the aspect of a human being [adam] sitting upon the Throne [ha-kisei]. Fortunate is he.

Repentance must fulfil three conditions: that he "see" with his eyes, that he "hear" with his ears, and that his "heart understand" — and he returns [v'shuv]. For a person must direct his eyes and his heart carefully upon his ways and contemplate his eternal purpose; and settle himself thoroughly, thoroughly — and listen carefully to all the words of our holy teachers. Then he will merit true repentance.

The primary repentance comes through humility — for a person must place himself as nothing, like a desert to be trodden upon; and pay no attention whatsoever to the disputes and humiliations with which others humiliate him; and hold fast to the quality of silence [midas ha-sh'tikah]; and be among those who hear their shame and do not respond, as above. Then he is called truly wise and merits repentance, which is the aspect of Keser [Crown]. Through this one merits true and eternal honour — which is divine honour, as above — and a good portion in the World to Come. And this is the primary repentance and rectification for all his sins. And he will merit to be included in the aspect of the human being sitting upon the Throne, from which judgment goes forth upon all who come into the world.

One must strive always to seek every merit and every good thing that can be found in Israel — and to judge every person favourably [l'chaf z'chus], even those who dispute and humiliate him. Then he will always be saved from dispute — and through this he makes a precious Crown for Hashem Yisborach from many kinds of precious stones.

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