חנוכה ד

But in truth, all of these thoughts and musings are only the doings of the adversary, who finds him a pretext to separate himself from behind the Omnipresent, G-d forbid, so that he will go after his cravings, G-d forbid. For in truth, there is no despair in the world at all — as Rabainu, of blessed memory, cried out with a great voice that never ceases (in these words: “Gevald! Do not despair of yourselves!” And he drew out the word “Gevald” very much, etc.).

For every person must have much, much pass over him before he merits entering into holiness. Just as Adam HaRishon experienced one hundred and thirty years during which he wanted to repent, and specifically in all those 130 years, spirits came and, etc., and heated him, etc., as our Sages of blessed memory said. And certainly, his Daas was greatly weakened each time, for he already had a great Evil Inclination, as is explained in the words of our Sages of blessed memory. And certainly, the adversary wanted to cause him to fall in his spirits each time. But he strengthened himself against it at every time and did not abandon the ways of his t’shuvah that he engaged in throughout all 130 years — until he merited at the end of the 130 years to give birth “in his likeness, in his image” — to Shais, from whom the world was founded, and from whom came the Patriarchs and Moshe and Mashiach, etc.

And even though Adam HaRishon sinned and we still need to rectify in every generation, even so, if he himself had not strengthened himself to rectify what he rectified, it would have been very difficult to rectify. And also, he would not have merited what he merited. But through his strengthening and his effort to return to Hashem, blessed be He, through all the descents and fallings that passed over him, he merited that he passed away with a good name, for all his days he was a great tzaddik and chassid, as our Sages of blessed memory said. For this is the essential trial of a person: that he strengthen himself through all the descents in the world, the Merciful One save us — through everything that passes over him — that always, each day and at every time, he will begin anew, and will accustom himself to forgetting — to forget what has passed over him, and consider in his mind as if he were born today, etc. — as is explained in our words, many counsels and wondrous ways regarding this matter of how to strengthen oneself at every time; see there — it will be sweet to you forever.

And this is “And you shall count for yourselves” — “for yourselves,” “for your own selves” specifically — that each one must count the S’firas HaOmer, which is the aspect of the aforementioned encouragement, for himself, according to what he is. And he should not fall in his spirits because it seems to him that his friends, his peers, are much better than him. For even though it is a good trait to be humble and to consider every person better than him, but if he falls in his spirits through this, G-d forbid, this is not humility; on the contrary, it is great arrogance — that it does not befit him to do some service for Hashem, blessed be He, and he is still so far, and his friends have already merited what they have merited. For it is forbidden to question the Omnipresent, and who knows from what place he comes and in what places he has been drawn through his deeds? For no person is similar to his fellow at all.

And likewise, every person who wants to emerge from his impurity and contamination — which is the aspect of S’firas HaOmer, so that they may be purified, etc. — must count the days for himself specifically, and his peers should not cause him to fall at all, G-d forbid. And this is “And you shall count for yourselves” — “for yourselves,” “for your own selves” specifically — and understand well.

And it is similar to what Rabainu, of blessed memory, wrote on the verse “Avraham was one” (Yechezkel 33:24) — that the essential manner of Avraham Avinu’s, peace be upon him, drawing close to Hashem, blessed be He, was through always thinking that he was only one in the world, and he did not look at any obstructor or impeder or confuser, etc.; see at the beginning of Likutay Tinyana regarding this matter.

And in truth, just as there are many kinds of obstacles from the wicked obstructors or opponents who wish to prevent [a person] from the truth through various persuasions and enticements and words of mockery and smooth-talk, etc., so too there are many kinds of obstacles and discouragement even from one’s friends and true loved ones. And all of this is impossible to explain in writing; rather, each one will understand for himself according to his situation. And against all kinds of obstacles and discouragement in the world, one must go in the aforementioned way — in the aspect of “Avraham was one” — to think as if he were alone in the world, as above. And this is the aspect of “And you shall count for yourselves” — “for yourselves,” “for your own selves,” as above.

And as is brought in the story of the Wise Man and the Simple Man (HaChacham v’HaTam) : it is explained there that the Tam [Simple Man] was a shoemaker, etc., and he could not do the craft properly, and his shoe had three corners, etc. And he would take great pride in it — how beautiful and lovely this shoe is, etc. And his wife would ask him: “If so, why do the other craftsmen take three gold coins for a pair of shoes and you take only one and a half?” He answered her: “What does that matter to me? That is his work and this is my work.” (“Dos iz yenems maaseh in dos iz main maaseh.”) “And further, why should we talk about others? Let us rather begin to reckon how much I earn on this shoe, from hand to hand: the leather costs such-and-such,” etc. (see there, all of this well.)

And understand, for in this story, most of the world understands many things that pertain to the service of Hashem, blessed be He — that one must conduct himself in the ways of t’mimus [simplicity / wholesomeness] and be in joy always, even in poverty and great financial pressure. And also, his service and his prayer are not complete at all; even so, he should be joyful in his portion always. And he should not look at the world at all — that they have livelihood many times more than him, and they have food and drink and fine garments, etc. (and even so, they are always full of worries and many deficiencies). And also in the service of Hashem, in Torah and prayer, they are thousands of times greater than him. And even so, he should not fall in his spirits from this at all; rather, he should be joyful in his portion always.

As explained there: that his bread was to him all the foods in the world, etc. And his shoe, which he finished over many days with great effort, and which was full of deficiencies, and from which he earned far less than others — even so, it was exceedingly precious in his eyes, and he took great pride in it, and did not look at others at all, and said: “What does that matter to me? That is his work and this is my work,” as above.

And Rabainu, of blessed memory, himself hinted, after telling this story, that his intention was regarding prayer and the service of Hashem — as is brought there at the end, where Rabainu, of blessed memory, said: “And if the prayer is not as it should be, it is a shoe with three corners” — and understand; see there. That is, as above: that one must conduct himself with great simplicity, like the ways of the aforementioned Tam, and one must examine all the details of the story to take for himself mussar and counsel from the words of the aforementioned Tam, and go in his ways, and be in joy always. And the world should not confuse him at all. And even his friends who merit far more prayer and service than him — even so, he should not fall in his spirits from this at all, but rather be in joy always, in every single good point that he earns from his prayer and service, however it may be; see there in the story and understand.

And this is the aspect of Shavuos, when the Torah was given. For the Torah is the essential Daas of the aspect of Moshe, who illuminates in bain and talmid, in daray maalah and daray matah, and makes known to them that Hashem is G-d. The essential revelation of this Daas was on Shavuos through the receiving of the Torah, regarding which it is said: “You have been shown to know that Hashem is G-d,” etc. (D’varim 4:35). As it concludes there: “From the heavens He let you hear His voice, and upon the earth He showed you His great fire,” etc. (D’varim 4:36) — which was said regarding the Giving of the Torah.

For during all the days of the S’firah, we prepare ourselves for receiving the Torah, and we are engaged in drawing upon us an illumination from there, from the aspect of the Daas of the Torah, so that we can prepare ourselves to receive it (as is explained by us elsewhere: that at the time of preparation for a mitzvah, there is drawn upon a person assistance from Above from the holiness of the mitzvah itself that we are preparing ourselves to perform; see there). And therefore, in all the days of the S’firah, we draw the mochin (as explained in the Kavanos [of the Ari z”l], explaining in detail each specific moach that is drawn each and every day of the days of the S’firah; see there) — namely, the illumination of the aforementioned Daas that is drawn from the chacham, the true tzaddik, who is the aspect of Moshe, as above. But the essential drawing of this Daas in its completeness is on Shavuos, through receiving the Torah, which is the essential aforementioned Daas.

And this is the aspect of the Ten Commandments that were given on Shavuos. For the Ten Commandments are the aspect of all the tikkunim explained in the aforementioned teaching.