קל

Hashem — You have searched me and You know; You know my sitting down and my rising up; You perceived my thought from afar. My path and my lying down You have winnowed — and all my ways You have become familiar with. For there is no word on my tongue: behold, Hashem — You know all of it entirely [Psalms 139:1–4]. Master of the Universe — Giver of the Torah; lover of His people Israel; Who chooses His people Israel with love: You through Your mercies gave us free will [bechirah] — that we have the power to choose life or the opposite, G‑d forbid. And this matter of the power of free will that You gave to humanity is a wonder of wonders; the greatest wonder among all the wonders of Your creations that You created in all the worlds (as is cited in several holy books) — for there is nothing more wondrous and awesome and mysterious and hidden in all the creation of all the worlds than this sublime wonder and this wondrous and hidden novelty: that there shall exist and be created in the world with Your power an entity that shall have the power of free will — to choose the path it desires; to have the power to do Your will or against Your will, G‑d forbid. And concerning this King David upon him be peace said: Wonderfully I am distinguished; wondrous are Your works — and my soul knows this very well. Knowledge too wondrous for me — it is exalted; I cannot reach it. Where shall I go from Your spirit — and where from Your face shall I flee? [Psalms 139:14–7]. And therefore I have come before You — Master of wonders; that You be in my help and save me and be with me always — that I incline the power of my free will toward You and toward Your will; that I merit always at every time to choose life — in the way of good and truth as Your will and the will of the true tzadikim desires; and not deviate from Your will right or left all the days of my life forever.

Master of the Universe — Master of all: You made known to us through Your mercies that the main power of free will of Israel — who received the Torah through Moshe our master upon him be peace — is only because You did not speak with Israel themselves directly to their faces; rather all Your words were with Moshe our master upon him be peace; and they heard in Your speaking with him. And because of this we have the power of free will over all the words of this Torah — for all that Hashem speaks to a person directly they are compelled to do without free will. And Moshe our master did not have the power of free will over the commandments of the Torah; rather all his free will was in the matter of: Moshe added one day on his own understanding [Shabbos 87a] — that is: in what You did not explain to him explicitly; and he was compelled to understand on his own how to conduct himself; and in this was all the power of his free will. And behold I in my poverty — since the desires and the traits overpower me as they do; and pursue me greatly at every time; and I have great free will over all the words of the Torah; and I need great strengthening and salvation and great mercies from You Blessed be He — that I merit to incline the power of my free will toward life; to choose the good and to despise the evil. And now what shall I do — since in addition to all this I am greatly confused in many matters: how to conduct myself in them; and my mind and my counsel is greatly divided in many matters that I do not know at all how to intend Your will in truth — how to conduct myself in them. And it seems to me that if I knew Your will in truth I would certainly conduct myself as Your will desires. And now — Hashem our G‑d — our Father are You; we are the clay and You are our Potter; and we are all the work of Your hands [Isaiah 64:7]. Teach me and guide me what I shall do and what I shall effect — for Moshe our master and the other great and awesome tzadikim; who had free will in matters such as these in which they were uncertain as to what Your will was; had great power and might. For they were mighty in power — doers of His word; resembling the very angels [Psalms 103:20]. And they had already entirely broken all the desires; and had no free will at all from the side of desire in any matter of the world. And therefore it was fitting that they should have free will in the aspect of: Moshe added one day on his own understanding — namely: those things in which they were uncertain; for they were truly fitting for this. But a person as coarse and thick as I — who has multiplied transgressions against You; and the desires still pursue me so greatly; and I am always thinking thoughts — to find counsel and a scheme and a remedy to push them away from me; and my power of free will is very coarsened. What shall I do — when in addition to this I am confused greatly; and there are so many doubts and divisions of counsel in many matters that I do not know how to conduct myself in them. With what shall I merit to find the straight and correct path in truth; in such a manner that I merit to draw close to You truly and to its very truth. Guide me, Hashem, in Your way; that I may walk in Your truth — unify my heart to fear Your Name [Psalms 86:11]. Lead me in Your truth and teach me — for You are the G‑d of my salvation [Psalms 25:5]. Teach me, Hashem, Your way — and lead me in an even path because of my watchers [Psalms 27:11]. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You — Hashem, my Rock and my Redeemer [Psalms 19:15]. Amen and Amen.