כט

Hear our voice, Hashem our G‑d — have pity and mercy upon us; and accept with mercy and goodwill our prayer. Our Father, Father of mercy — do not hide Your face from me and do not conceal Your ears from my outcry [cf. Psalms 55:2]. Do not harden your heart against your destitute brother — and do not close your ears from my cry [cf. Deuteronomy 15:7]. May Your innards and Your mercies be stirred upon me. For it is now many times that I have yearned and longed to see the splendor of Your might — and we have been crying out and praying and beseeching before You for so many days and years, evening and morning and noon I speak and moan [Psalms 55:18]. And we have been imploring Your face always — that You turn Your face toward us and draw us through Your mercies to Your service in truth; and we have still not been saved; and salvation is far from us. For the exile has grown very, very long upon us — in body and soul; and every day our afflictions multiply more than the day before. And in truth we know — that it is not because Your hand is too short that You have not saved us [cf. Isaiah 59:1]; and not because Your ear is too heavy that You did not hear our prayers. Rather our iniquities have separated between us and You [cf. Isaiah 59:2] — for through my many iniquities I have become distant from goodness to the utmost distance; until all the words of my supplications and requests are far from true good; for I do not speak from knowledge [da'as]. And because of this I do not merit to speak any word that is heard and accepted — until all my words cannot even be called words at all: since they are not drawn from the holy da'as and there is no good in them. And now what shall I do, my Father in Heaven? And from where shall I seek help — to merit to draw true good into my words; to merit through this to speech that is heard and accepted? For You know, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — that right now I have no support at all in anything I need in the physical or in the spiritual — in great matters or small ones; except to ask of You as a pure free gift and as a generous act of lovingkindness: that You be gracious to me with gratuitous grace and give me all that I need for the service of Hashem; and draw me near to You through mercies in such a way that I merit to complete teshuvah before You in truth. For there is not a single small thing in the world pertaining to the service of Hashem that would be easy for me to do — and I have no counsel or stratagem; for the counsel itself is as hard for me to fulfill as the very thing I need. Therefore right now I have no hope except upon Your abundant mercies. And if, G‑d forbid, You were to deal with me even one part in thousands and tens of thousands according to the measure of my evil deeds — and You wished to search my prayer and supplication for whether there is any good in them, so that my speech be heard and accepted: I would not know where my help would come from; for I know in truth that all my words are distant from true good to the ultimate distance.

Master of the Universe — I am very distressed, very bitter. I said: come what may — I shall run my words before You; I shall speak and it shall give me relief. Perhaps He shall pity, perhaps He shall have mercy. Perhaps Hashem will see my affliction [cf. II Samuel 16:12]. And from the earth I speak and from the dust I whispered [cf. Isaiah 29:4] — perhaps there is hope; perhaps He shall pity the poor and destitute; perhaps He shall have mercy. For You are good and do good to all — to the wicked and to the good alike [cf. Talmud Berachos 7a]; and You are certainly able to find in my words also some good points — even though they are in concealment and great hiddenness and the ultimate smallness and great obscuring; until my words are unworthy of being heard and accepted because of the concealment of the little good that is hidden in them. Even so You are abundant in lovingkindness and multiply goodness — and before You are revealed all secrets and the multitude of hidden things from the beginning of creation; and You can in Your great lovingkindness reveal even the little good that is in my words. For You know, Master of the entire universe — that even though I have blemished greatly against You: I sinned and transgressed and rebelled before You from my youth until this very day and have done evil in Your eyes — even so my intention in my words is for good; for I yearn and long and desire and ache in truth for Your service in truth: that I merit through Your mercies to truly turn from evil and to always do good in Your eyes. And even if my deeds are not seemly at all — even so the words of my requests and supplications are in truth and in truthfulness. And You have taught us through Your true tzadikim to always pray and beseech before You about all that we need in order to draw near to the service of Hashem in truth. For even though You gave us freedom of choice to choose the good and to reject the evil [cf. Deuteronomy 30:19] — even so prayer and supplication is effective even for this itself: that You incline our heart toward You in truth and bend our inclination to subjugate itself to You; and help us and compel us to abandon the path of wickedness and to hold to the good and upright path — the path of life. And in truth I have no hope except upon this: upon prayer and supplication and outcry and crying and calling to You — that You draw me near through Your mercies to Your service in truth; and that You bend my inclination and subdue and break my desire; and that You deal with me according to Your lovingkindnesses — in such a way that I merit to truly turn from evil; and to always do good in Your eyes from now and forever.

Master of the Universe — my understanding is narrow and my heart is closed and my hands are heavy — to set forth and explain all my speech before You. Have pity and compassion upon me; have pity upon me according to Your abundant mercies. And help me that I always merit to praise and to glorify the true tzadikim with all kinds of praise and might and glory and honor and splendor — until I merit through the praise of the tzadikim to elevate the da'as; until through this the holy da'as be drawn — true good into my speech. And may all my words be truly good words — until I merit from now that all my words be words that are heard and accepted in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who come into the world. And may the merit and power of the true tzadikim that we merit to praise and glorify — shield us like an eagle that rouses its nest and hovers over its fledglings [Deuteronomy 32:11]; until we merit through them to stir: acquire wisdom, acquire understanding [Proverbs 4:5] of holiness; and may we merit that our minds and our da'as that were stolen from us through our evil deeds be returned to us. And may I merit to complete my da'as in great holiness — until I merit to receive all my words from the holy da'as and to draw true good into my speech; until all my words be words that are always heard and accepted; and may no word go out of my mouth that is not heard and accepted. Rather may You grant me merit through Your abundant mercies — and may You always be with my mouth at the time of my speaking; and may You always draw true good into all my words; until all my words be words that are heard and accepted in the eyes of all. Whether when I need to set forth my speech before You and to pray and to beseech and to entreat and to press You, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — about all that I lack: may I always merit to speak before You good words, words of grace and supplication; words that are heard and accepted by You. And may my words enter into Your heart — in such a way that You fill all my requests with mercy and draw me near to You in truth. For my needs are very, very many in the physical and in the spiritual — beyond all measure and reckoning; and I have no support or trust except upon Your abundant mercies and Your great lovingkindnesses. And whether when I wish to speak to myself words of reproach and to rebuke myself — so that I be no longer cruel to my body and my soul and spirit and neshamah; and I wish to stir compassion upon myself: may I always merit to speak to myself words that are heard and accepted — in such a way that my words enter my own heart; and may I merit to stir myself to return to You in truth; and to abandon from now my evil way and my shameful deeds and my very confusing thoughts. And may I merit from now to concentrate my mind and to bind myself in a firm and strong bond to You always — and may I not allow my mind and my heart to begin to incline toward any desire, G‑d forbid; and toward no confusion in the world. And may I merit to truly turn from evil — in thought, speech, and deed; and to yearn and to long for You always with complete faith; and to habituate myself in Your service in truth with all my heart — in body, soul, and money; to give over everything to You and to abandon everything for the sake of Your true good will. And whether when I must and am compelled according to Your true good will to speak words with people to stir them to Your service — or for some purpose and matter that is Your will: may You grant me merit through Your mercies always and draw good from You into all my words; in such a way that my words always be words heard and accepted in the eyes of all. And may I never speak idle words — rather may all my words be good words; words from which great benefit comes to Your Name and Your service in truth; words that are heard and accepted; that I merit to effect through them matters that are Your true good will.

And therefore have mercy upon me, my Father, Father of mercy — Father of lovingkindness: and save me and help me speedily and have compassion upon me with Your great compassion and Your true graciousness. And may You grant me merit from now to the general rectification [tikkun haklali] which is the rectification of the covenant [tikkun habris]. And may You forgive and pardon me for all my iniquities and sins and transgressions that I sinned and transgressed and rebelled before You — and in particular what I blemished before You in the blemish of the holy covenant [pegam habris kodesh] from my youth until this very day: in thought, speech, and deed; through the sight of the eye and the hearing of the ear and through the other senses; whether in error or in willfulness, whether under compulsion or willingly. Both the blemishes I blemished in what is permitted and the blemishes of what is forbidden — over all of them may You forgive and pardon me, O G‑d of forgiveness, gracious One Who multiplies forgiveness [Nechemiah 9:17]. And may You help me and save me and deliver me from now from all kinds of blemishes of the covenant — and may You sanctify me with Your supernal holiness; until I speedily merit to the rectification of the covenant in completeness. Help me and save me, my Father in Heaven — for I do not know what to speak at all; for there is no language in the world through which I can set forth my speech. Rather I cry out to You alone with a bitter voice — with a great and bitter cry, with sighing and groaning, with outcry and wailing and shouting; with all kinds of voices and cries and sighs in the world. My voice to Hashem — and I cry out; my voice to Hashem — and He hearkens to me [Psalms 3:5]. My voice to Hashem I cry — my voice to Hashem I beseech [Psalms 142:2]. To You, Hashem, I call and to Hashem I plead for grace [Psalms 30:9]. What profit is there in my blood, in my going down to the pit — will the dust praise You? Will it declare Your truth? [Psalms 30:10]. Have pity and compassion upon me; have pity and have mercy upon me. Help me and save me and grant me merit to the rectification of the covenant in truth — for my eyes look forward to Your mercies and Your true lovingkindnesses, to gratuitous grace; and my hands are spread out to Your graciousness. And as long as my soul is within me — I shall cry out and call to You; and I shall sit and wait and look forward to Your mercies. Whether as children or as servants: if as children — have mercy upon me as a father has mercy upon his children [Psalms 103:13]; and if as servants — my eyes are turned toward You; until You be gracious to me and bring me out of confinement [Psalms 142:8] and free me from the blemish of the covenant and save my soul from the pit. And may You guard me and save me from now from all kinds of blemishes of the covenant in the world — in hands and feet and eyes and other senses; in thought, speech, and deed: in all of these may I merit to be holy and pure from all kinds of blemishes of the covenant in the world. And may You speedily grant me merit to the rectification of the covenant in truth — in the ultimate completeness; at the level of truly righteous ones. Until I merit through the rectification of the covenant to repair all the sins and iniquities and transgressions that I sinned and transgressed and rebelled before You. And all kinds of blemishes that I blemished in the 365 prohibitions of the Torah — which correspond to the 365 sinews [cf. Talmud Makkos 23b]: may I merit to repair all of them through the rectification of the covenant, which is the totality of the sinews — which is the general rectification [tikkun haklali]. And may I merit to repair and to refine all the blood of all the 365 sinews. And may You remove and nullify and take away from all my blood all kinds of blemishes and turbidities and impurities — that I cast into them through the blemishes I blemished in the 365 prohibitions of the Torah. And through Your abundant mercies may You remove and nullify all kinds of stains that I have caused the Shechinah, as it were — through the overpowering of the impure blood that overpowered through my many iniquities; until I have caused the Shechinah, as it were, the aspect of very much menstrual blood [dam nidah]; until through my iniquities the Shechinah descended into a very great exile. And through my many iniquities I caused a separation between the Holy Blessed One and His Shechinah [ifrashusa bein Kudsha Brich Hu u'Shchintei]. She dwells among the nations and finds no resting place [Lamentations 1:3] — as it is written: Jerusalem sinned greatly — therefore she has become a thing of [menstrual] impurity [Lamentations 1:8].

Master of the Universe — what shall I say, what shall I speak? G‑d has found out my iniquity [Genesis 44:16]. I was struck dumb in silence, I held myself still from good — and my pain was stirred [Psalms 39:3]. Have pity and mercy upon me — and act for Your sake; and for the sake of the true tzadikim; and for the sake of Your great Name; and for the sake of the cry and the roar of the Holy Blessed One and His Shechinah — as it is written: Hashem shall roar from on high — and from His holy dwelling shall He give out His voice; He shall surely roar upon His habitation [Jeremiah 25:30] — upon His own dwelling place [al nave dilei]. I have sinned — and He is bound in chains [cf. Midrash]. And She too cries out in bitterness in Her great exile from which She was separated from Her Beloved — and She cries with a bitter voice; with wailing and bitter weeping; kalanee me'roshi, kalanee mezeroa'i — it is too heavy for Me from My head, it is too heavy for Me from My arm [cf. Chagigah 15b]. Woe to us for we are destroyed; woe to us for our souls; woe to us for we have sinned; woe for our days and our years; woe and woe to us. For we have caused all this through our many sins and iniquities and transgressions — and She is disgusted by our debts; and Her clothes and garments are stained with stains from our iniquities. What shall we say and what shall we speak — O Full of mercy; pure of eyes; good and doing good to all; gracious and compassionate: do what You shall do — in such a way that You speedily grant us merit to repair all this. And grant me merit to the rectification of the covenant in completeness — in such a way that I merit through this to repair all the blemishes in the world; and may You forgive and pardon and atone for me for all my sins and iniquities and transgressions through Your abundant mercies. And may You stir through Your mercies the holy da'as — and draw from it whiteness [levanonis] to clarify and to purify and to refine all the blood of all 365 of my sinews; until all the blemishes and corruptions within them be repaired. And may You grant me merit to cast repairs to all the narrow and fine places where no repair can possibly reach — and through the rectification of the covenant that You grant me merit to through Your mercies; may I merit to cast repairs there also; until I merit to repair all kinds of blemishes with great completeness — the ultimate repair as You truly desire in truth. And may You grant me merit from now through Your abundant mercies — and help me and save me and always be with me; and may You guard my clothes and my garments — that no impurity or stain or spot come upon them. For You alone know the great magnitude of the blemish that affects the Shechinah Herself, and the supernal worlds — through the blemish of the garments when one does not guard them from stains and impurities. And the garments themselves bring a person to judgment for this when he does not guard them from stains. And through my many iniquities this matter too is very hard and heavy for me — to guard the garments from stains; for it is impossible that I not become distracted from them; and especially at the time of engaging in Torah and prayer and other activities: then stains come upon them, G‑d forbid, through distraction. And all this I have caused through my many iniquities and my very confusing thoughts — through which I do not merit to guard the garments and to maintain them in cleanliness and to save them from stains and impurities.

Regarding all these matters I have come to set forth my speech before You, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — full of mercy; Who bestows goodness upon the undeserving; You answer us with awesome deeds in righteousness, O G‑d of our salvation — the trust of all the ends of the earth and of the distant sea [Psalms 65:6]. Do wonders for the sake of Your Name. And help me and save me that I merit to repair all this in my lifetime speedily and quickly — that I merit from now to repair the covenant in completeness. And may I merit to raise and stir the holy da'as and to draw the holy whiteness [levanonis dikdushah] from the holy da'as — to repair the blemish of all the blood of all 365 sinews; which correspond to the 365 prohibitions of the Torah. And may You grant me merit to repair the blemish of all the stains of the garments that I have not guarded until now — and may You forgive and pardon me for all these blemishes. And may You help me from now and guard me and save me from all sin and iniquity and stumbling — and help me from now to guard my garments and clothes: to honor them and to maintain them in cleanliness. And may You grant me merit that there be found upon none of my garments and clothes any stain or impurity or spot at all. And may You shield me and guard me — me and my garments always; and may my body and my soul and my garments and clothes all be always clean and pure and holy from now and forever. And may You draw through Your mercies living waters from the source of life — and may there be drawn a wellspring of living waters flowing from the Lebanon [cf. Song of Songs 4:15]; from the whiteness of the holy brain [lebonah d'mocha kadisha]; and there may You purify the Shechinah from Her impurity [nidosah]; and may You raise Her from Her exile and return Her to Her Beloved in love and brotherhood and friendship [cf. Song of Songs 8:7]. And through Your abundant mercies may You draw and sprinkle upon us these pure waters — and may You purify us and our garments from all our impurities. And may the verse be fulfilled: And I shall sprinkle upon you pure water and you shall be purified — from all your impurities and from all your idols shall I purify you [Ezekiel 36:25]. And may You whiten our sins like snow and like wool — as it is written: Come now and let us reason together, says Hashem — if your sins be like crimson, they shall become white as snow; if they be red like scarlet, they shall become like wool [Isaiah 1:18]. And may we merit to fulfill the verse: At all times may your garments be white — and let oil not be lacking upon your head [Koheles 9:8].

And therefore have mercy upon me through Your abundant mercies — and be with me always and guide me and teach me at every time how to conduct myself in the matter of my speech with people: that no word come out of my mouth not in accordance with Your will; and may I not reveal any secret that does not need to be revealed. And may You always guard me — that I not be, G‑d forbid, among those who go about as a talebearer who reveals secrets [Proverbs 11:13]. For we do not know at all — which Torah words need to be spoken and revealed; and which Torah words are forbidden to utter and to reveal; about which it is said: one who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets [Proverbs 11:13]. Help me always through Your mercies — that I never transgress the [prohibition of] you shall not go about as a talebearer [Leviticus 19:16]: neither in Torah words, nor in mundane words — in matters between a person and his fellow. Have pity and be gracious to me and be with my mouth at the time I speak; and may I not say any word not in accordance with Your will from now and forever.

And have mercy upon me — and save me and give me my livelihood from Heaven before I need it. And give to me and my household bread to eat and a garment to wear [cf. Genesis 28:20] — to eat to satiety and a good covering. And provide my livelihood without any difficulty or toil at all — with honor and not with disgrace; in what is permitted and not in what is forbidden; with ease and not with suffering; from beneath Your open and full hand. And may You not make me need the gifts of flesh and blood nor their loans. And just as You gave food and sustenance to Your people Israel in the wilderness for forty years — and brought down for them the manna from the heavens; and their garment did not wear out from upon them [Deuteronomy 8:4]: so may You have mercy upon us and open for us Your good treasury from the heavens; and provide our livelihoods easily without any difficulty, with a great spirit. And may You always deliver us from all kinds of worries of livelihood — and may You pour upon us intellect and da'as from You to trust in You always; and You shall sustain me from the heavens — me and my household and my offspring and all that is mine. And may You pour upon me all I lack before I need it — in such a way that I can engage in Your Torah and Your service always in truth with all my heart and soul; and may no confusion whatsoever come upon me from the agitation of livelihood. For I cast my burden upon You alone — and You shall sustain me; as it is written: Cast upon Hashem your burden and He shall sustain you [Psalms 55:23].

And help us through Your abundant mercies — that we merit to conduct business in faith [b'emunah]; and may You always save us from all kinds of robbery; and may we never rob or exploit our fellows even the value of a single perutah [cf. Talmud Bava Kamma 119a]; and may we not touch the money and possessions of our fellow at all; and may we not covet anything belonging to our neighbor. And may You help us and save us — that at every time we engage in commerce, all our intention in the business dealings be only for Your Name and Your service in truth. And may we merit to direct every word and every movement that we speak and go during business dealings — may all of them always be directed at every time: that all our intention in conducting commerce be so that we merit to give charity from the profit we earn in this business; and may all our business and desire in commerce be only for this alone in truth — so that we merit to give charity from the earnings of this business. And may You help me and save me — that we merit to remember this always and to direct this at every time: in every movement and every word and every action of commerce. And may You open our hearts and grant us merit to truly fulfill this — that we merit to give much charity at every time to truly worthy and fit poor people; and may You pour upon us an overflow of goodness and blessing. And may we merit to strengthen the hands of Torah scholars and true servants of Hashem. And may we merit to fulfill the commandment of charity [mitzvas tzedakah] in completeness as You truly desire — with a good heart and with a pleasant countenance and with great joy and tremendous exultation; until we merit through charity to elevate the holy intellect and da'as and to perform the general rectification of commerce [tikkun haklali shel hamasa u'matan]. And may we merit to repair through this all the sins and blemishes in commerce and in the desire and craving for money — from our youth until this very day. And may the merit of charity shield us — like an eagle that rouses its nest and hovers over its fledglings [Deuteronomy 32:11]. And may it atone for us — and from sins shall charity redeem [Daniel 4:24]; and may we merit through charity to the general rectification [tikkun haklali].

And have mercy upon us and upon our remnant and upon the remnant of Your people the House of Israel — and help us and save us and raise us up speedily from our very great and very deep fall; in which we have descended lower and lower and fallen into very great exile these many years — in body and soul, in the physical and the spiritual, in general and in particular. Master of the entire universe — You Who support the fallen: have pity and compassion upon us and support us through Your abundant mercies. And may the verse be fulfilled in us: Do not rejoice over me, my enemy — for I have fallen but I shall arise; for I sit in darkness, Hashem is a light unto me [Michah 7:8]. Send Your hands from on high — rescue me and deliver me from great waters, from the hand of strangers [Psalms 144:7]. Be gracious to me and raise me up. May my eyes look upward. Your hand shall be prepared with me — and even Your arm shall strengthen me [Psalms 89:22]. And may You bring me out and raise me up speedily from all the falls and descents into which I have descended and fallen until now — and from which I have become very distant from You and from Your service. Have pity upon me according to Your abundant mercies. For You know that there is no one to stand up for us in this great fall into which we have descended wondrously — as it is written: And she fell wondrously — there is no one to comfort her [Lamentations 1:9]. And as it is written: He cast down from Heaven to earth the splendor of Israel [Lamentations 2:1]. From a high roof to a deep pit [Talmud Chagigah 5b]. And there is none who can stand up for us and none who can raise us up from our falls — except You alone. And may the verse be fulfilled — as our Sages of blessed memory expounded it: She has fallen and shall not continue to fall [Amos 5:2 — the Talmudic reading]. And You shall say to Israel: arise, O virgin of Israel [Amos 5:2]. Have pity and compassion upon us — and help us to repair our intellect and da'as through the true and complete rectification of the covenant. And may You save me from now from all kinds of falls from Your service, G‑d forbid — and may You help us from now to ascend and rise speedily from all the falls into which we have fallen until now; and may You raise up the fallen Tabernacle of Dovid [Amos 9:11].

Master of the Universe — to You I have spread out my palms. Raise me up and I shall live [Psalms 119:175]. You cannot turn away from your destitute brother — abandon, you shall abandon and raise up, you shall raise up [cf. Deuteronomy 22:4]. And may You save me and my offspring and the offspring of my offspring and all Your people the House of Israel — and may You guard us and deliver us: that no person of Israel ever come to the falling illness [choleh nofel], G‑d forbid. And may You have mercy upon Your people Israel — upon all those who have already come to this bitter illness; and may You heal them through Your abundant mercies with a complete healing; and raise them up from their fall and restore them to their former state [l'esanom]. And may You speedily send them a complete healing from the heavens — a healing of the soul and a healing of the body. For You are a G‑d, faithful and compassionate King, Who heals. And have mercy upon us — and save me and my offspring and all Your people the House of Israel from all kinds of drunkenness from wine and other intoxicating drinks. And may I never come to intoxication — for You have revealed through Your holy sages the great magnitude of the awesome blemish of intoxication, G‑d forbid. Have pity and be gracious to us and have mercy upon us — and save us from excessive drinking that leads to intoxication. And even the small amount of drinking that is necessary on Shabbosos and festivals — may You grant me merit that this drinking be in great holiness and purity; and may we merit to raise our intellect and da'as to Your Name and Your service through a little drinking on the holy days. And may we merit that no word come out of our mouths not in accordance with Your will through the drinking of wine or intoxicating drink — and may we not speak at that time any word that does not need to be revealed. Rather may we merit to speak in holiness and in purity — words that are Your true good will; in joy and gladness of heart. And may we never come to intoxication — and may You save me through Your mercies from intoxicating wine; and may You grant me merit to wine that gladdens G‑d and men [Judges 9:13]. Have pity and be gracious to us and fill our requests with mercy — and grant us merit speedily to the general rectification [tikkun haklali] in completeness in all its aspects. The rectification of the covenant — which is the totality of the sinews, which is the general rectification of all 365 prohibitions of the Torah. The general rectification of speech through the praise of the tzadikim. The general rectification of commerce through charity. The rectification of the garments. To all of these may You grant us merit through Your abundant mercies speedily and quickly. For You know — that it is impossible for us to repair each particular thing individually; for they are very many; for we have blemished very greatly. Have mercy upon us and save us speedily for the sake of Your Name. And grant us merit through Your abundant mercies and Your mighty lovingkindnesses — to the general rectification in truth and completeness in all its aspects; and act for Your sake and for the sake of the true tzadikim — and not for our sake. And from the dust may You raise us up and from the ash-heaps of our destitution may You lift us; and with all the general and particular rectifications may You rectify us; and with Your great goodness may You satisfy us. And may You hear and accept our cry and our prayer and our supplications — and with all kinds of purities and holinesses may You purify us and sanctify us. And may the verse speedily be fulfilled: And I shall cause you to walk in My statutes and you shall observe My judgments and do them [Ezekiel 36:27]. Be gracious to us and answer us — and hear the voice of our prayers; for You hear the prayer of every mouth of Your people Israel with mercy. Blessed are You — Hearer of prayer.