לד

Master of all worlds

My mouth shall speak wisdom and the meditation of my heart shall be understanding [Psalms 49:4]. O G‑d, hear my prayer — give ear to the words of my mouth [Psalms 54:4]. The free-will offerings of my mouth — please accept, O Hashem — and teach me Your judgments [Psalms 119:108]. Give ear, Hashem, to my prayer — and hearken to the voice of my supplications [Psalms 86:6]. Hear, Hashem, the voice of my supplications — in my crying out to You; in my lifting of my hands toward Your holy sanctuary [Psalms 28:2]. Do not incline my heart to an evil matter — to practice deeds of wickedness with men who are workers of iniquity; and may I not eat of their dainties [Psalms 141:4]. A crooked heart shall depart from me — evil I shall not know [Psalms 101:4]. Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to gain [Psalms 119:36]. Create in me a pure heart, O G‑d — and renew a steadfast spirit within me [Psalms 51:12]. Help me, Master of the Universe — Master of the entire universe [Mara d'alma kola] — that I merit to tie my heart to the words of my mouth; and may my heart be as my mouth is. And save me through Your abundant mercies that I not speak before You with lips of deceit; and may my heart not be smooth [i.e., falsely flattering] apart from the words of my mouth. And may I merit to pour out my conversation and my prayer and my supplication and my request before You — with a full mouth and a whole heart; until my heart be tied to the words of my mouth in my supplications and requests. And may You be with me always, and save me and help me and grant me merit to set forth all my speech before You always with a full heart. And all that is in my heart — may I set it forth before You always in truth and with a whole heart. And may I merit to greatly multiply [the practice of] hisbodidus and conversation between myself and my Maker — until the holy point [nekudah kedoshah] that is rooted within me — which is the aspect of the ruling tzadik [cf. Psalms 149:9] — as it is written: And Your people — all of them are righteous [Isaiah 60:21] — shall be revealed and shall shine. And this holy point shall illuminate and rule through the words of my mouth in prayers and supplications and requests. And may I merit to tie my heart to this holy point in a firm and strong bond — until this holy point shines from my mouth to my heart; until the light of the holy love for the blessed Name is revealed — which is rooted within me. And through this there shall fall away and be nullified from my heart the disgrace of the heart, the foreskin of the heart [arlat halev], the shatteredness of the heart [shevirat halev] — which are all the evil desires and evil traits and evil thoughts and evil musings and confusions that dwell upon my heart; until my entire heart is broken and ruined and spoiled exceedingly through the multitude of these disgraces. And all of them shall be nullified from me completely through the light of the holy point within me — which You grant me merit to reveal and illuminate from my mouth to my heart; through words of supplication and requests and arousal to You and Your service; which I merit to utter in truth and with a whole heart from the depths of the heart [mei'umka d'libba] — in truth indeed.

Please, Hashem — full of abundant mercy; Who takes pity upon the poor; Who hears the cry of the destitute; Who sees the disgrace of the disgraced; Who desires the repentance of the wicked and does not desire their death — You know my disgrace and my shame and my humiliation before You; all my tormentors [are before You]. Disgrace has broken my heart and I am sick — and I waited for sympathy, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none [Psalms 69:21]. Behold — I am before You full of shame and humiliation, full of disgraces and contempts. What shall I say, what shall I speak and how shall I justify myself? Have pity and compassion upon me — remove my disgrace that I have dreaded, for Your judgments are good. Grant me merit to return in complete repentance before You in truth. Grant me merit to set forth my speech before You in truth and with a whole heart — in such a manner that I can stir the good point within me and it shall shine in me from my mouth to my heart; so that I merit to repair my heart that is so very blemished. And may I merit to remove and nullify from my heart all the disgraces of the heart and all the foreskin of the heart and all the crookedness within my heart — for my heart is full of very much crookedness beyond all measure and reckoning and number. The heart is the most deceitful of all things and it is exceedingly corrupt — who can know it? [Jeremiah 17:9]. And You, Hashem, search the heart and examine the kidneys. Heal the breaking of my heart and bind up the very many pains of my soul. Have pity and compassion upon me, Master of the Universe — for You know the evil of my heart and the very evil crookedness that has grasped hold of and mixed itself into my heart; until my entire heart is full of very, very many musings and desires and confusions beyond measure and reckoning and number. Until it is hard for me to rest and be quiet for even a single hour — for at every time and moment the desires and the confusions chase after me, and they shame and shatter my heart. Until I know no way or path or counsel or stratagem of how to escape from them. And even the small measure of good counsel that still sparks for me — I do not fulfill it, through the very great weakness of the mind and the scattering of the heart and the soul.

Master of the Universe — it is very bitter to me; You know the immensity of my bitterness; You know my disgrace and the evil of my heart in all its aspects — in all its particulars and its minutiae. And there is no one who can heal me except You alone, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — with Your true lovingkindnesses alone, with pure undeserved grace alone. Even though I do not merit to speak even these words in truth — as You know; for they shame me with every kind of disgrace and contempt: all who see me mock me; they open their lips, they shake their head [Psalms 22:8]. All the day my disgrace is before me and the shame of my face has covered me — from the sound of one who reproaches and reviles, from before the enemy and the vengeful one [Psalms 44:16–17]. And at every time and moment my mind and my heart are confused with every kind of disgrace and contempt. And not only do they shame me and shatter my heart with every kind of evil desire and evil trait and evil and unseemly musings — but also in the midst of this, when I wish to lift my eyes a little toward You and to peep my utterance toward Your mercies and Your graciousness: in the midst of this my heart is full of false intentions and great confusions and arrogance of spirit — whereby through this my prayer is despised before You, G‑d forbid, as it is written: An abomination to Hashem is every haughty heart [Proverbs 16:5]. And now — what shall I do and what shall I accomplish? Where can I flee for help? Look upon my affliction — for my pains and the sorrows of my heart are many [Psalms 25:17]. Yet even so — I hope and long for Your abundant mercies and Your hidden lovingkindnesses; for You know the hidden depths of my heart and the very root of my good point — which in absolute truth there is within me a root of a good and holy and pure point; for I am from the seed of the House of Israel; and my soul is rooted in the soul of the true tzadik who is the root of the totality of the souls of the children of Israel. Therefore in absolute truth — in the innermost root of my good point — I cry out to You in truth and with a whole heart: that You have pity and mercy upon me and be gracious to me from Your treasury of free gifts [otzar matnas chinam]; and help me to remove from me the foreskin of my heart and the shatteredness of my heart and the disgrace of my heart. And may I merit to incline my heart toward You in truth indeed; and to break and nullify from my heart all the evil desires and evil traits and the crookedness of the heart and the evil of the heart. And may You return me in complete repentance before You in truth and with a whole heart. And may I speedily merit to a pure heart, to a good heart, to a holy heart, to a whole heart — as Your good will desires.

And therefore I have come before You, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — Ruler over all; Who created Your world with Your good will, for the sake of Israel Your people, so that Israel would receive the Torah — and through this they would merit to rule over You, as it were, as it is written: A tzadik rules — [in] the fear of G‑d [II Samuel 23:3]. And it is further written: Israel — its dominions [Psalms 114:2]. Therefore You it is I seek, You it is I request — before You I entreat; before You I prostrate myself: in bowing, in kneeling, in prostration, in inclining the head, in submission of the limbs, in awe, in reverence, in trembling and in quaking — with a broken and crushed heart; sighing and downcast, drawn low and threadbare. Rock of Israel and its Holy One, Redeemer of Israel — have mercy upon us for the sake of Your Name; and grant us merit through Your immense lovingkindnesses to draw near and to be tied to the true tzadikim who are the root of the totality of the souls of Israel. And grant me merit to speak with them face to face — and to hear from their holy mouth holy words; and may they speak to my heart words that settle upon the heart. And may I merit to tie my heart to the words of their holy mouth — to their holy point; and may their holy point rule and shine from their mouth to my heart. And through this may there be nullified from my heart all the disgraces of the heart and all the foreskin of the heart and all the crookedness of the heart — and may my heart be straight with Hashem always.

And therefore grant me merit to speak with the totality of Israel Your holy people — in Torah and service and awe of Heaven; until I merit to receive a good illumination and awakening toward the blessed Name — from all the holy points that exist in each and every one of Israel which the other does not have. And may we merit that there be great love and peace among all Israel Your people — and may each one speak with his fellow in awe of Heaven; until all of us, Your people the House of Israel, are absorbed into one another in love and brotherhood and fellowship. And may each one receive from his fellow an awakening toward the blessed Name from the holy point that is in his fellow more than in himself — and we shall receive from one another and stir one another to Your service and Your Torah in absolute truth. And grant me merit through Your abundant mercies — me and my offspring and the offspring of my offspring and all Your people the House of Israel — that each and every one merit to speak between himself and his Maker; and may we stir our hearts to the awe of Heaven. And may we always merit to set forth our speech before You every day in the language in which we speak — with great mercy and supplications; and with many words of appeasement and placation; and with sound and proper arguments; and with great arousal in truth; and with words of grace and supplications — until we merit to tie our heart to the holy point that is within us, which is the aspect of the ruling tzadik. And may we merit to greatly implore You and to greatly multiply every day this conversation-prayer — and may we merit to say before You every day many, many supplications and requests and confessions and prayers and urgent pleadings; and may we strengthen ourselves and brace ourselves in prayer and supplications with all might and force. And let us give You no silence — until You be gracious to us; let us call to You until You answer us; until we stir Your true mercies upon us; and may we merit to prevail over You with our prayers and our supplications and our conversation — that You turn Your face toward us and have mercy upon us; and may You return us in complete repentance before You in truth with all our heart and soul. And may You grant us merit that all three of these holy points shall shine within us: the illumination of the holy point of the true tzadik of the generation; and the illumination of the holy point of the totality of Israel Your people — each one from the other; that each one shall illuminate in his fellow the illumination of the holy point that is in him and which his fellow does not have; and the illumination of the holy point of each one within himself — that each person receive from within himself from the holy point that is in him: that it shine from his mouth to his heart; through his speaking between himself and his Maker with the awakening of the heart, in prayer and conversation and supplication and request in truth and with a whole heart. And through all this may we merit that the illumination of tzadik yesod olam [the tzadik who is the foundation of the world] shine in our hearts. And may we merit that our heart be truly tied in a firm and strong bond for all eternity to the light of these three holy points — where the light of holy love and lovingkindness dwells; until through this there be nullified all the disgraces that dwell upon the heart which are called the foreskin of the heart and the shatteredness of the heart — which are all the evil desires and evil musings. And may I merit that my heart be truly purified from all the crookedness of the heart; and from all kinds of denials of the heart; and from all evil of the heart. And may You help me to break and nullify all the evil desires and all the evil musings and all kinds of evil thoughts and all kinds of confusions and all kinds of dross and turbidity of the heart — until I merit to a pure heart, to a holy heart, to a good heart, to an upright heart — in absolute truth; as Your good will and the will of the true tzadikim. And may my heart be straight with Hashem always — until I merit to cleave to You and to be absorbed in Your good will. And in Your great love may You cover over all our transgressions — as it is written: And over all transgressions love covers [Proverbs 10:12]. And may You forgive and pardon and atone for us all our sins and iniquities and transgressions — and may You gather in our disgrace. And from now may You be our help that we sin no more forever — neither in error nor in deliberation, neither under compulsion nor willingly. And may You save us from every kind of blemish in the world — and may we merit to be as Your good will desires in truth. And grant me merit to sanctify my mouth with holy speech — and help me to repair all the blemishes that I have blemished with my mouth; until I merit that my mouth be full of the blessing of Hashem and my mouth be filled with Your praise. And may the vessels of overflow for me — which are the words of my mouth — be in great completeness; until I always merit to draw through the words of my mouth an overflow of goodness and blessing and mercy and life and peace. And may You hear our prayer always — and nullify Your will before our will; and may our decree be spoken and stand. And may You fulfill the verse: I am Hashem your G‑d Who brought you up from the land of Egypt — open wide your mouth and I shall fill it [Psalms 81:11]. And help us through Your mercies — that we merit speedily to the holiness of the bris in truth; and may we merit to repair every kind of blemish of the bris that we have blemished until now. And may the merit of Yosef the tzadik who stood in his trial [b'nisayon], and the merit of all the true tzadikim who stood through countless trials and subdued their inclination for the sake of Your Name — may they shield us. And in their merit and their power may You help me from now, Hashem my G‑d and G‑d of my fathers — that I too merit to subdue my inclination and my desire. And may You save me through Your mercies from every kind of blemish of the bris in the world — and may I not be ashamed and may I not stumble in any stumbling-block and any evil musing whatsoever — from now and forever. And may You grant me merit speedily to the rectification of the bris in truth and in completeness as Your good will desires. And may I merit to repair in completeness the bris of the tongue [bris halashon] and the bris of the flesh [bris hama'or]. And may You grace us from Yourself with wisdom and understanding and holy knowledge [chokhmah u'vinah va'da'as dikdushah] — and may I merit to study and to teach with great diligence; and to fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love. Have pity and be gracious to us and have mercy upon us — and fill our requests with mercy. Be gracious to us and answer us and hear our prayer — for You hear the prayer of every mouth of Your people Israel with mercy. Blessed are You — Hearer of prayer. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You — Hashem, my Rock and my Redeemer [Psalms 19:15]. And it is further written: Say of the righteous that he is good — for they shall eat the fruit of their deeds [Isaiah 3:10]. And may You draw peace upon Your people Israel forever — and nullify every kind of strife from the world; until through the great abundance of peace, all those who are far shall be drawn near and shall come close to Your service and Your awe in truth — even those who are very far from holiness at the ultimate distance; even those who are sunk and sullied in every kind of abomination and filth and defilement — all of them shall truly be stirred and shall return to You from where they are, through the power of the true tzadikim who always labor to reveal Your G‑dliness and to publicize Your lordship to all who come into the world; and to make peace between Israel and their Father in Heaven. And may You draw down even now in this world the wondrous peace that You are destined to reveal in the time to come — as it is written: And the wolf shall dwell with the lamb and the leopard shall lie down with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together — and a small child shall lead them. They shall not harm nor destroy in all My holy mountain — for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of Hashem as the waters cover the sea [Isaiah 11:6,9]. And may You fulfill the verse: He Who creates the fruit of the lips: peace, peace — to the far and to the near, says Hashem, and I shall heal him [Isaiah 57:19]. Abundant peace to those who love Your Torah — and there is no stumbling-block for them [Psalms 119:165]. Hashem shall give strength to His people — Hashem shall bless His people with peace [Psalms 29:11]. Amen, eternal, Selah, and evermore. of my fathers, that I should merit also to subjugate my inclination and my desire. And (You should) save me with Your mercies from all types of defects of the bris that are in the world, so that I shall not be embarrassed, and I will not blunder in any pitfall or bad thought whatsoever from now on forever, and (You should) merit me quickly to true and complete rectification of the bris as is Your good will, and I should merit to rectify consummately the bris (-covenant) of the tongue and the bris (-covenant, circumcision) of the pudendum. And (You should) graciously endow us from Yourself, holy wisdom, and understanding, and realization of knowledge, and I should merit to learn and to teach (Torah) with great diligence, and to fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love. Have pity and be gracious with us, and have mercy on us, and fill all our wishes with mercy, be gracious with us, and answer us, and listen to our prayers, because You listen to the prayers of every mouth of Your nation Israel with mercy, blessed are You Who listens to prayer. Yihih-yoo lirutzoan <may they be pleasing – arousing the Divine Will> imray fee <the words of my mouth> vihegyoan leebee <and the expressions of my heart> lifunechuh <before You> Hashem tzooree <my Rock/Maker> vigoa-allee <and my Redeemer> (Psalms 19:15).” Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman