אות-ה

Whoever wishes to spare himself and think about his eternal purpose — the entire remedy for him, however he is, however he may appear to himself, is to regard himself each day as literally a new creation. For in truth a person becomes like a new creation each day — for this reason we recite all the morning blessings, as is explained in the Shulchan Aruch. Therefore, however he is, the service he engages in each day must be completely new to him. For each Jew performs many mitzvos every day — tzitzis and tefillin and the like — but the essential thing is that he should settle his mind each day that this day that he stands in has never before been in the world, and likewise this day will never again be in the world. And the service of Hashem, may He be blessed, needed on this day is completely new — and the obligation of this day has fallen on this specific person who stands in this generation on this day. He specifically must engage in this service — not an angel and not a seraph, and not even the souls of Tzadikim in the highest Garden of Eden can complete this service. Only: "the living, the living — he will praise You, as I do today" [Isaiah 38:19] — specifically as I am today, at whatever lowly level — yet since I am alive, I must praise You specifically. On the contrary — the more one knows about oneself that one is corrupt and more spoiled, specifically through him will His great Name be magnified and sanctified more, when he draws close to Him. The essential advice for the fulfillment of the Torah is to begin anew each time, as mentioned above — and even if one cannot do anything at all due to the great provocation and overpowering of the exile in body and soul and money, even so one should begin each time to prepare and ready oneself anew for His service. And sometimes one must make many new beginnings in a single day — all the more so in every week, etc. — until afterward all these beginnings join together and come to his aid. For leis re'uta tava d'is'abed [no good will is ever lost]. And through this he will merit afterward to begin and complete his service with wholeness as befits. And the essential thing: a person must remove from his mind each day and each time everything that has passed over him until that day and that hour — and all the beginnings of all the services he began to serve Hashem until now should not count for him at all, as if he has not yet begun at all in his entire life. For the essential falls and descents of each person come from the fact that it seems to him in his mind that he has already begun somewhat in the service of Hashem and fallen from this — and afterward strengthened himself to begin again and fell again — and so many times. Therefore he completely despairs of himself, G-d forbid, and becomes lazy in his service from beginning again. Therefore the essential advice is to forget each time everything that has passed over him — even if he has already begun thousands upon thousands of times without number — rather now he begins completely fresh to prepare and ready himself for His service in whatever way he can: whether to cry out to Hashem from the depths of his heart as befits him in that hour; whether to begin to study and pray and perform mitzvos; whether to gladden himself in the fact that He has not made him a non-Jew, etc. — and in all manner of advice for His service — until through this he will remain firmly established in the fulfillment of the Torah always. (Halachos of Torah Reading, Halacha 6) When a person is aroused to teshuvah and wishes to enter into the service of Hashem and to travel to the Tzadik, his evil inclination overpowers him each time with even greater force. Therefore he needs each time a new and greater strengthening and fortification against the new evil inclination that overpowers him. And from this comes the fact that sometimes when a person is aroused to travel to the true men [anshay emes], he has great longing — but as he begins to travel his ardor weakens. And sometimes when he actually arrives at the Tzadik himself he falls completely from his longing. All of this derives from the aspect mentioned above: for the moment he is aroused to travel to the true Tzadik, the evil inclination he had at first is as if deadened, and then when he wants to travel, a new evil inclination arises — stronger than the first — for "the greater one is than his fellow, the greater is his inclination." Therefore whoever truly wants to draw close to Hashem, may He be blessed, needs a new fortification each time against the new evil inclination that renews itself over him each time.