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משיבת נפש - Meshivas Nefesh
אִם מִתְעוֹרֵר אָדָם לִתְשׁוּבָה אֲזַי כְּשֶׁרוֹצֶה לִכָּנֵס בַּעֲבוֹדַת הַשֵּׁם וְלִנְסֹעַ לְהַצַּדִּיק, מִתְגַּבֵּר עָלָיו בְּכָל פַּעַם יֵצֶר הָרָע יוֹתֵר גָּדוֹל, עַל כֵּן צָרִיךְ בְּכָל פַּעַם הִתְגַּבְּרוּת בְּיוֹתֵר וְהִתְחַזְּקוּת חָדָשׁ נֶגֶד הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע הֶחָדָשׁ שֶׁמִּתְגַּבֵּר עָלָיו בְּכָל פַּעַם וּמִזֶּה בָּא מַה שֶּׁלִּפְעָמִים כְּשֶׁנִּתְעוֹרֵר הָאָדָם לִנְסֹעַ לְאַנְשֵׁי אֱמֶת, יֵשׁ לוֹ תְּשׁוּקָה גְּדוֹלָה וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁמַּתְחִיל לִנְסֹעַ נֶחֱלָשׁ חִשְׁקוֹ, וְלִפְעָמִים כְּשֶׁבָּא לְהַצַּדִּיק בְּעַצְמוֹ נוֹפֵל מִתְּשׁוּקָתוֹ לְגַמְרֵי כָּל זֶה נִמְשָׁךְ מִבְּחִינָה הַנִּזְכָּר לְעֵיל, כִּי תֵּיכֶף כְּשֶׁנִּתְעוֹרֵר לִנְסֹעַ לְהַצַּדִּיק הָאֱמֶת אֲזַי הֵמִית יִצְרוֹ הָרָע שֶׁהָיָה לוֹ בַּתְּחִלָּה וְאַחַר כָּךְ כְּשֶׁרוֹצֶה לִנְסֹעַ, נִתְהַוֶּה לוֹ יֵצֶר הָרָע חָדָשׁ חָזָק מִבַּתְּחִלָּה, כִּי כָּל הַגָּדוֹל מֵחֲבֵרוֹ יִצְרוֹ גָּדוֹל מִמֶּנּוּ. עַל כֵּן מִי שֶׁרוֹצֶה לְקָרֵב אֶת עַצְמוֹ לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ בֶּאֱמֶת צָרִיךְ הִתְחַזְּקוּת חָדָשׁ בְּכָל פַּעַם נֶגֶד הַיֵּצֶר הָרַע הֶחָדָשׁ שֶׁמִּתְחַדֵּשׁ עָלָיו בְּכָל פַּעַם
There are three k'lipos that distance a person from Hashem, may He be blessed. One comes to him and damages his head and mind, implanting evil thoughts of money and other desires. A second comes to him and damages his heart, implanting great covetousness so that he greatly craves all desires, G-d have mercy. Yet even so, there might remain within him some good point through which he might prevail over the desires of the heart and the thoughts in the mind. But there is a third k'lipah that is harder than all — whose essential business is to knock and throw a person down and weaken his resolve so that he completely retreats, G-d forbid, from Hashem and from the Tzadikim — in the aspect of: "they have turned backward" [Isaiah 1:4]. It says to him: "Why do you toil beside the true G-d-fearing and pious ones, when you see you have been among them for so long a time and still all the evil thoughts and desires remain in full force? Why do you toil in vain? Go back to chasing your livelihood and money and the like, like the rest of the world." And this k'lipah is harder than all — for as long as a person strengthens himself somehow, there is remedy for him — since the very act of drawing close to the G-d-fearing and upright is itself very precious, even if he receives no holiness at all, G-d forbid. And even if it seems to him that he is worse now than at the beginning — he knows the truth that it was not the drawing close to them that caused this, G-d forbid. For certainly if he had listened to their advice it would certainly have been very good for him in this world and the next. Only because the power of free choice is very great, what happened happened by itself. So who knows what would have happened if he had not drawn close at all? For certainly if he had not drawn close at all he would have been far worse and worse. And let him not say "the earlier days were better than these" — for no person knows what will pass over him all his days, for the ambusher sits and lies in wait for him every day and at every moment. And certainly he has already been saved from many snares and traps through the mere power of the drawing close alone. (ibid., Ois 12) According to the greatness of Hashem and the very exaltedness of His sovereignty — for even the slightest movement and the slightest glance that is not fitting for His honor, it would be fitting to bring upon a person what is fitting, G-d forbid. But Hashem, may He be blessed, is full of mercy and the whole world is full of mercy, and He, may He be blessed, greatly desires the world. Therefore, my beloved, my brother, you who study — heart of my heart — be very strong and courageous, and trust in Hashem for He will not abandon you. For all that passes over you is all for your good. Rely on His great mercies without measure, for Hashem, may He be blessed, is very great and His greatness is without limit — and there is a matter of all being transformed to good, and willful sins being transformed to merits. Only be strong and courageous! (ibid., Ois 49)
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