A Direct Address to the Holy Tzadikim at Their Graves

…I wanted to throw away the vanities and follies of the world — entirely, entirely. And now I have, to my sorrow, fallen so much — and am struggling already for half a lifetime [פלג גוף — "half a body" — an unusual expression suggesting that roughly half his lifespan or the half the strength of his body has been spent in this struggle] — so many years. And I am spending years and days — far from prayer and Torah and the service of Hashem — and from Rabbainu and the fellowship. And there is no one who has compassion on me — to be my guide and to save me. And woe to me from my Creator — woe to me from my evil inclination — from every direction. There is no one who can save me and have compassion on me — only to pursue and to torment. I do not know at all what will be my ultimate purpose. I have not yet even once been at Rabbainu's. And my life is no life — life that is bitter and more bitter than death. How long? How long? How long? Is it conceivable that I was created to waste my days in such vanity? Is it conceivable? And there have risen against me great men in Torah and wealth and wisdom — to destroy us from the path of life by force and with smooth lips — and rabbis and dayanim. And they want, to my great sorrow, to tear me by force from Rabbainu the Holy one and from his people. And I am in great danger. And I need great success in this time — as you yourselves know. Holy Tzadikim — oh (Gott!) — see with yourselves…

[Closing fragmentary:] Read the letter at the graves of the Tzadikim — and arouse compassion. What will be my ultimate purpose? [Final petition:] Let there be an end and conclusion to the troubles. And to merit to come soon to the Tzion of Rabbainu the Holy one with speed. And to be truly bound to Rabbainu the Holy one in innermost truth — without any ulterior motive. And to give over all my mind and heart and understanding and soul and spirit and neshamah and body to G‑d, blessed be He — according to the way of Rabbainu the Holy one, Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman — truly. That there be an end to all troubles and obstacles — and especially the mental obstructions and thoughts and confusion. And to merit true and complete repentance in innermost truth. And the rectification of the bris. And complete faith. And the service of Hashem and prayer. And to do the will of G‑d, blessed be He, truly. And to hold on — both in ascent and in descent. And the essential: to be bound to Rabbainu the Holy one in innermost truth, without any ulterior motive or foreign thought whatsoever. Amen. Shmuel son of Feiga.

[Closing fragmentary:] Read the letter at the graves of the Tzadikim — and arouse compassion. What will be my ultimate purpose? [Final petition:] Let there be an end and conclusion to the troubles. And to merit to come soon to the Tzion of Rabbainu the Holy one with speed. And to be truly bound to Rabbainu the Holy one in innermost truth — without any ulterior motive. And to give over all my mind and heart and understanding and soul and spirit and neshamah and body to G‑d, blessed be He — according to the way of Rabbainu the Holy one, Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman — truly. That there be an end to all troubles and obstacles — and especially the mental obstructions and thoughts and confusion. And to merit true and complete repentance in innermost truth. And the rectification of the bris. And complete faith. And the service of Hashem and prayer. And to do the will of G‑d, blessed be He, truly. And to hold on — both in ascent and in descent. And the essential: to be bound to Rabbainu the Holy one in innermost truth, without any ulterior motive or foreign thought whatsoever. Amen. Shmuel son of Feiga.