At Last at Uman — A Torrent of Urgent Requests — "My Very Life Depends on This"

After warmly inquiring of your good welfare with great love — I hereby inform you of my welfare, thanks to G‑d, blessed be He. First: why do I have no word from any of the fellowship — of their welfare, of the news of my affairs and my household? For nearly three quarters of a year I have sent letters and received no word. And I have great sorrow that I know nothing of your welfare. And the essential — I have come before your honor with a great request: first: why do I have no word at all from anyone of the fellowship regarding their welfare, regarding the news of my affairs and my household, etc.? Please immediately write to me regarding everything in full detail — the welfare of R.A.B.Tz. [R' Alter Ben Tzion], may he live, and Yaakov Zev, and Yechiel, and R' Shlomo, and the welfare of the family, and the welfare of Yechiel, may he live. And what is the situation with marital peace. And the favors that stand at R' Meir the Elder. And whether Yaakov Zev received the package with my clothing and the letters — for nearly three quarters of a year I sent letters and received no word. And there is great suffering in not receiving any word from all of you for so long.

And the essential — I have come to request of your honor: please, my dear beloved precious friend, my soul's companion — as I know you — that you love Eretz Yisrael with all your strength — please, have compassion, show pity, have mercy, have grace upon me. Please, to see counsel for my sake — that I merit to behold the pleasantness of Hashem [לחזות בנועם ה' — Psalms 27:4 — to dwell in the house of Hashem; here: to return to Eretz Yisrael]. For my soul has been consumed with longing for this. And especially — the intensification of evil is very great, G‑d forbid. Please have compassion, have pity, have mercy on a wretched soul as mine — that I be saved from the blemish of idolatry [פגם ע"ז — the "blemish of idol worship" — in Kabbalistic terminology, the category of spiritual impurity associated with foreign lands, the spiritually impure air outside of Eretz Yisrael; being in the diaspora itself constitutes a form of spiritual danger in this framework] — to be gathered into the inheritance of Hashem. And especially — a native-born son of the Land [יליד ארץ — R' Shmuel was born in Eretz Yisrael; being outside it is therefore a uniquely severe exile for him] — for whom being in the diaspora is certainly a very great exile. And truly, truly — my life is no life. [Yiddish:] "Why to me such a life? Who will give me wings like a dove — I will fly away and settle! Oh (Gott!) — holy, righteous dear brother — save me! Have true compassion on me!" [Hebrew:] (Oh — my dear warm-hearted holy brother — save me — have true compassion on me.) And take counsel — speak with R.A.B.Tz., may he live, and Yaakov Zev. And speak all together with R' Dovid Shtefir [ר' דוד שטעפיר — a Breslov companion in Jerusalem or Tiberias who apparently has the ability to provide the needed "demand letter" — the Soviet invitation document] — that he send me a formal request [אוס פארדרינג / כתב דרישה] in my name — and when I receive a reply that he is willing and working on this — then I will make myself a passport to travel to the Holy Land.

[Yiddish:] "Holy, precious, righteous dear brothers — have compassion! My life is no life at all. I cannot hold on! Literally — my life depends on this. What shall I say, what shall I speak? Please have compassion and pity on me — and in the merit of this mitzvah — you will merit much hidden good stored up for the righteous. My dear precious R' Shlomo — you know the difference between Eretz Yisrael and abroad. Oh — what shall I say? 'Better to dwell in deserts, etc.' [Talmud Bavli, Kesubos 110b: 'It is better to dwell in the deserts of Eretz Yisrael than in the palaces of abroad']. 'Better is one day in Your courtyards than a thousand' [Psalms 84:11]. Believe me — I am writing with tears. And I have words — but I cannot write — from the great longing. Please, please — exert yourself in everything within your power — as early as possible. And write to me a clear reply to all the above. In brief — I say to you: if they do not do this — that I can come immediately — then truly my life is no life at all. And I will not be able to endure this, G‑d forbid, G‑d forbid. For I have already suffered nearly two Gehinnom — more than the sentence of Gehinnom of twelve months. And it is already more than a year since I was separated from being gathered into the inheritance of Hashem. Oh (Gott!) — I cannot eat or sleep from the great pain and suffering — for I have no path except this: for someone to send me the formal request."

Please, please — do not delay even a moment. And do not hasten, and do not be terrified, and do not see, and do not fear. And you have an obligation of self-sacrifice — for the sake of saving a Jewish soul. What shall I say, what shall I speak? If you knew — you would not eat and not sleep and not study and not pray — only to do this: to save me from shmad and to bring me to the rest and the inheritance. Please — do not sleep on this! And I will be grateful forever. And I will truly reckon for you that you saved me from death to life — from sorrow to joy — from mourning to a festival — from darkness to great light — from servitude to redemption. Better to die in the Land than to live in the diaspora, etc., etc., etc. Please write a reply immediately to the address: Hirsh Leib Lipel, Dambali 63, Uman, Kiev Province, Russia. From me — who hopes to see him soon: Shmuel H.H. the Breslover. Please send me the address of my father.

Attached note to R' Yechiel: